Life as a slave began in 2000 when Johnny and Davita were just kids in school. The two of them met in class and Johnny asked Davita to go to prom. Nine months later and Davita says to Johnny " Honey, we are going to have a baby". Johnny was speechless. All he could think or say to himself is "I'm too young for this". And indeed he was. He was only 17 years old. Davita was a mere 19 and Johnny always felt guilty for even sleeping with her. It wasn't natural. Nothing he ever did for her was ever good enough and soon they began fighting every day. Davita was always a control freak and if it didn't go her way then it didn't go at all. Johnny felt trapped inside their relationship.
After a few years they had two more children and still the connection between the two was merely a boss and employee relationship instead of it being two people in love. Johnny never felt he was good enough and always looked for alternative ways to avoid Davita. After 12 years Davita finally told Johnny to get out. He stayed with his mother most of the time except when he had the children. Then he would go back home. Finally Davita convinced Johnny he was going insane and had him admitted into a psychiatric hospital.
Soon Johnny would meet a fellow who he become so close to he called him his brother. The man's name was David. Johnny and David became roommates for a short time before they each went their separate ways. But the friendship never ended. Once they were living separately each were sending several messages back and forth and they both couldn't stand being apart. After Johnny went back to Davita, David started telling Johnny how much more he deserved and it didn't include the harsh attitude he put up with from his love. Johnny always felt there was something more between himself and David but it was never talked about. It was "Unspoken". Their loyalty to one another became very evident and Davita became very jealous. Eventually she even told Johnny he had to stop contacting David. This bothered David as he had lost a big part of his Johnny waited and they didn't speak for a few months.
After about 5 months, Johnny and Divita separated. Johnny realized that Davita never really appreciated him and he didn't believe he ever fell in love with her. But, this is when he realized that the most important person in his life had been gone for a few months. This was David. Johnny admitted to himself that it never really was a brotherly love, he truly missed David. On a very cold lonely night, Johnny hurt so bad that he was planning to end his life. Then all of a sudden David calls him. He said " What is wrong, Johnny?". Johnny replied with "Davita left me and I don't care to live anymore". Davids heart sank and he immediately started calming Johnny down by his always soothing words. "Let's take this slow Johnny, listen to me and trust what I say". This is really when Johnny felt that he was ever really loved. No one had ever offered this type of affection before. After a few days and several messages later, Johnny admitted to himself and his mother that he was in love with David. David gave him everything he ever wanted in a spouse such as good morning text messages, the random how are you, and just casual conversation. Johnny didn't feel he could ever tell David this so he again felt he was trapped in his own skin.
After a few short weeks he was talking to David again on a daily basis and he admitted he wanted to be with him forever. David had always liked women and so had Johnny. Could it really be that these two were destined to be together? Possibly, Johnny thought. But, David told Johnny his feelings would have to stay to himself because he wasn't attracted to him in that way. This broke Johnny's heart but rather than losing the friendship, Johnny let it go.
Now Johnny couldn't think how he was ever going to live not being able to be with David all the time. He dreamed of nights holding him close in his arms and the casual embrace before saying goodnight. "How am I going to tell the children?" Johnny thought. He didn't believe David would ever admit he had feelings for him so it wouldnt matter anyway. That is until Johnny literally started crying himself to sleep. After a couple of nights he thought "Why do I have to be trapped forever". He didn't have to be. He could feel again and love was something he never really had so he decided to began telling friends of his feelings towards another man. One friend highly encouraged him to talk to others and get a few opinions. After speaking to his closest friends Johnny was ready to admit to David he was indeed not attracted to women but David instead.
Johnny still keeping his distance made it a point to text David every morning and at night. And even several times a day. Both men always show affection to one another but its always in a manly fashion. This began to upset Johnny so that he was so nervous he began sweating every time David would come visit. Johnny was now ready to announce to the world that he indeed is homosexual and if David didn't want him, he needed to move on and find a way to get over his heart ache. The general conversations always seemed to be written in code to Johnny but now it was more evident than ever before. Johnny didn't know how to openly communicate to david that he was ready and willing to be completely faithful, honest, and trustworthy to him alone.
Just the beginning, but several more things to say. Any comments are appreciated.
