Return to Me

Part I – Breaking Apart


I'm breaking apart inside.
I'm breaking apart inside.
I cry in my sleep at night.
I'm breaking apart without you…

It was Saturday morning as David was knocking on Terri's front door. He let out a yawn as he waited impatiently. Terri had called him frantically early that morning when her babysitter had bailed on her last minute. She had pleaded with him to watch Wally while she went with her girlfriends on a much needed shopping trip. He had agreed simply out of a need to leave the four walls of his apartment.

Terri opened the door looking pleased to see him, "David. You're on time."

David didn't have a snappy comeback that morning. He would have preferred staying in bed, but Terri's tone had forced him out of the house. "I said I would be."

"It's not your strongest of suits," she said as he entered the apartment.

"Where's the little guy?"

"Living room," Terri replied realizing she'd forgotten something.

David entered the living room which looked like a toy store had exploded. From their conversations, Terri had said she felt stressed and like she couldn't do it all on her own. He knew it must be hard for her not having any family in LA and trying to raise a baby on her own. David walked over to the playpen where Wally was sitting and bent down to take a better look at the nearly one-year-old child. He could see so much of Terri in him - the dark hair and eyes.

"Okay, David, I think everything's set. I should be home just after lunch. Wally's been fed and changed. There is a bottle in the fridge and diapers are in the nursery." She stopped to think. "Oh…almost forgot." She walked over to the TV in the corner of the living room and picked up a video tape. "If you put this in, you won't hear a peep out of him."

He walked over to her, "What is it?"

"The Little Mermaid." David looked at the tape a second in surprise. "I don't get it, but he loves it. It's been a lifesaver to me more than a few times." She set the tape down on the TV and took a good look at David.

"Go, have fun. We'll be fine here." He didn't sound very certain and it was then that she noticed he hadn't even cracked a smile the whole time he'd been there.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"You're not acting like yourself. What's the matter? Is it this thing with Annie?"

He shot an inquisitive glance at her. How did she know about that?

She knew David well enough by now to not even need a reply from him, so she continued, "I have little birds. What are you doing?" David's gaze hit the floor. "Do you KNOW what you're doing?"

Honestly, he didn't. Why had he taken up with Annie? Maddie had been angry when she'd caught them together and she had every right to be. He knew that. What he didn't know was why he'd slept with her. He and Maddie hadn't exactly been in a relationship…not since…no, he couldn't think of that. What were he and Maddie anymore? He just didn't know. What was Annie to him, for that matter? He didn't know that either.

"David?"

He looked up at her, "What?"

"What about Maddie?"

"What about her?" She just looked at him surprised at his response. "She doesn't seem too eager to have me back," he caught himself saying.

"Is that it? Are you trying to hurt her?"

"No," he said, but he really didn't know the answer. Was he trying to hurt her? If so, why? They had resolved the whole Sam issue long ago and the thing with Walter had ended as soon as they had signed the annulment papers. She didn't seem to want him back now, though. He just didn't understand Maddie anymore. Not that he ever had to begin with, but now he just couldn't read her the way he once could. One minute, she seamed glad he was out of her life. The next, she was yelling at him in a seemingly jealous rage.

"Hey, I've got to go. The girls are meeting me at the mall. Do you need anything while I'm out?"

"No, thanks," he answered still in thought.

"Do you want me to bring you back anything? Lunch? Or how about a clue?" David looked up to see her solemn expression. After a moment, she crossed the living room and gave Wally a kiss on the head. "I'll be back after lunch." She crossed over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Do some thinking, David, before you do something you further regret."

When David was alone in the apartment, he took a look at Wally sitting in the playpen. "It looks like it's just the two of us, Pal." He walked over and picked the boy up in his arms. "What do you want to do? Male bonding? Football? Maybe teach you how to play poker? No, your mom would kill me."

Wally said, "Awial."

David looked over at the video sitting on the TV and said, "The jury has spoken." Once he had popped the video into the VCR, he returned to the couch where he set Wally on his lap. The beginning sequence of the movie hadn't even finished when David laid his head against one of the pillows. He watched the cartoon absently not actually being present, but not actually being anywhere else either. As soon as Ariel came onto the screen, Wally called out, "Awiel!"

David laughed and tousled the little boy's hair, "You're first crush, huh?" He looked back at the screen and yawned. He hadn't exactly been getting much sleep lately and since Wally was so enamored with the movie, he thought maybe he could get a little shut-eye.

Before he knew it, he had dozed off. Even through Wally's cries of excitement and giggles, David continued to sleep. His sleep was not exactly restful, though, because while one side of his mind wanted sleep, the other side wouldn't top churning. This caused him to have many bizarre and often incoherent dreams; mostly about Maddie and a few about Annie. There was only one, though, he would remember at all and that one would stay with him for years to come.

He found himself standing outside the Blue Moon office unsure of how he'd gotten there or even why he was there. He could tell by looking through the glass into the office that it was night and that everyone had gone home.

With a turn of the doorknob, he found the office to be unlocked. Upon entering, he stood in the middle of the office just staring at Maddie's door. Something made him want to go in even though there was no reason to. He shook it off and walked to his office door and entered.

The room was dark as he walked over to his desk and sat. For a minute or two, he just sat and stared out into the night. He wasn't sure what he was doing at his office at that time of the night or even where he had been just previous, but for some reason, he felt that was where he was supposed to be.

When he turned on his desk lamp, however, that was when he saw the figure sitting on his couch. He jumped to his feet completely off guard until he realized it was Maddie. She was just sitting there not looking at him. It looked like she was staring out one of the windows. As he tried to pull himself together, he couldn't stop thinking how beautiful she looked sitting there bathed in the glow of the full moon.

After what seemed like hours, he asked, "Maddie, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you."

"How did you know I'd be here?"

"I just did."

He walked over to her cautiously and sat down in the chair next to the couch. It was almost as if he was afraid to be too close to her. "What is this about?"

"I needed to see you."

This whole time she hadn't looked him in the face and he now desperately wanted her to. "Why won't you look at me?"

When she looked up, he was taken aback by her beauty. How many years had he spent in that office yelling, flirting, and trying to get her attention or avoid it? And how many times had he looked at her face? Was this the first time he'd really looked at her? Her eyes seemed to burrow through to his soul and he felt like his entire façade had been stripped away.

"Why did you hurt me?"

This struck him so deeply that he immediately felt a pain in his gut. "When did I hurt you?"

"When you left."

"I have never left you."

"Yes, you did."

"When?"

"When I lost the baby. Why did you leave me then?"

He felt like he'd been hit in the stomach…again. When Maddie had lost the baby, he had wanted as far away from the situation as possible. He hadn't even wanted to talk to Maddie. Both had retreated to their own corners to lick their wounds, but neither had healed. He knew that and perhaps that was why he had sought out another woman. Nothing was working right and all they were doing was hurting each other again which was what they had both agreed they would never do.

How could he tell her that she was the only one who meant anything to him? He didn't want to let her go. He still thought about her constantly and often he would roll over in the night hoping to find her next to him. As much as he hoped for it, he didn't see how they could just pick up where they left off.

As he was about to just walk away, again, he could hear music playing. He couldn't quite figure out where it was coming from and couldn't name the tune. It was very muted and soft. Just as suddenly as the music came up, he heard singing…

There you see her

Sitting there across the way

She don't got a lot to say,

But there's something about her

And you don't know why,

But you're dying to try

You want to kiss the girl.

He looked over at Maddie who seemed to not notice the music. She had bowed her head again as if she couldn't look at him. He wanted to say something to her, but he didn't know what. Where was that music coming from anyway?

Yes, you want her.

Look at her you know you do.

Possible she wants you too

There is one way to ask her.

His hand reached across the space between them and he touched her hand. She immediately looked up at him. Those crystal clear blue eyes staring right into his made him swallow hard. The two just stared at each other and neither moved.

It don't take a word

Not a single word

Go on and kiss the girl.

David continued to take her hand and moved it into his lap where he placed it between both of his. She didn't resist when he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingertips.

As the chorus came up, David couldn't help but get lost in her eyes. How had he let all of this get in the way of how he really felt for her? No other woman could even begin to hold a candle to how she made him feel just by walking into a room. Before he could let himself think too much, he stood and drew her to her feet. David took both of her hands in his and stared into her eyes.

Now is your moment

Floating in a blue lagoon

But you better do it soon

No time will be better.

As he stood there watching her, she was bathed in a mysterious blueness. How beautiful she looked, he thought. Could he ever actually say she was his? Would they ever be together again? He craved her more than he realized - her smile, her touch, her kiss. He hadn't seen her smile in so long and he couldn't help but feel he had a part in that. It had been even longer since they had kissed and as he stared into her eyes, he didn't realize how much he wanted to feel her lips on his again.

She don't say a word

And she won't say a word

Until you kiss the girl.

Slowly, he drew her toward him and she didn't hesitate. He put his arms around her as she did hers around him. As they held each other, he didn't want it to end.

As the music continued, he got lost in the feel of Maddie against him. He closed his eyes and took in her scent as he brought his lips to her cheek. Gently, he kissed her. When she didn't pull away, he kissed her again. He could feel her body loosen with the second kiss and he kissed her again now trailing kisses across her jaw line.

The song continued as he kissed her neck…

As the last line of the song was sung, David pulled back from Maddie. This time, she initiated first and placed her lips on his. The only way David could describe the kiss was electric. It was as if they were finally both in sync. They both wanted the same thing at the same time for once…they wanted each other.

Just as David was guiding Maddie toward the couch, he noticed the music had stopped. Suddenly, he heard a squeal.

David sat straight up on the couch to find Wally giggling wildly and clapping his hands at the TV. He looked around the room and sighed.

When he entered the hall bathroom, he looked into the mirror. He had to admit that he looked terrible. He knew whatever this was he was doing wasn't working and he had to do something. The dream had been so real and he couldn't say as it was the only one of its kind in the last week or so. It just hadn't accompanied a Disney cartoon. He splashed some water onto his face and ran a hand across his features. What he couldn't get over was how real it had all been; he could smell her, feel her, taste her. He knew it then as he looked into the mirror at himself and asked, "What are you going to do about it, Addison?"

I don't wanna sleep without you.
Dreams don't mean a thing without you.
I feel so alone without you.
Baby come back I need you.

When Terri came home, she entered the living room to find David and Wally watching a ballgame. Terri looked refreshed and had at least a dozen bags in her hands. She noticed, however, that David looked worse than he had that morning.

"I fed and changed him," David said.

"Thanks, David. I really appreciate this," she said setting the half day's worth of shopping down on the floor. Suddenly, she began going through her bags, "You have to see this," and she held up a pair of overalls. "Aren't they adorable?!"

David gave her a forced smile and said, "I have to get going."

As he patted Wally on the head, he stood. He grabbed his jacket from the couch and crossed the room. "I brought you some lunch," Terri offered as he kissed her cheek.

"I got things to do. Thanks anyway."

As he began to walk toward the door, Terri followed him asking, "It's a Saturday, David. What things?"

He threw on his jacket as he said, "Just things."

As he began to open the door, Terri reached him and slammed the door with her hand. "What, David? Something with Annie or are you going to go get drunk?" David avoided her gaze and said nothing. "Look, I know you both went through hell. I can't even imagine if…" She trailed off unable to complete the sentence. "You two have to work this out."

David continued his silence, although, his mind was still running at full speed. How were they supposed to work through it and what where they now that there was no baby? Maddie was sure avoiding the issue and the only time anything had ever come up was that night in the elevator. That was the last even slightly intimate moment they had shared despite the kiss in her office. He had still wanted it to work then. That wasn't to say that he didn't at present, but he didn't think they could. How long ago was that? It seemed like years.

"David, are you listening," Terri asked with annoyance.

"Yes."

"Well?"

"I have to go," he said in almost a whisper. "I'll call you," and with that, he left.

When he had reached Bert's car, which he'd borrowed for the day, he just sat there not even putting the key into the ignition. His life was a mess - he admitted that. He also admitted that a lot of it was his fault. After that dream he couldn't shake, he knew he wanted Maddie. He craved her in a way he hadn't any other woman. Why had he started up with Annie? Did it have anything to do with her and Maddie being related? The thought made sense, but it also churned his stomach. Had he really slept with Annie simply because it seemed he would never have Maddie again? To avoid any further thoughts on that, he turned the key and drove away from the curb.

His mind was still racing and he desperately wanted it to stop. His first instinct: hit his usual spot. Can't do that now, he thought, Terri called me on that. At a loss of what to do, he turned on the radio and Elvis' voice filled the car.

Are you lonesome tonight

Do you miss me tonight

Are you sorry we drifted apart

Does your memory stray to a bright sunny day

When I kissed you and called you sweetheart

Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare

Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there…

Before he could allow himself to fully feel the pain the song emitted through Elvis' sorrowful voice, he switched the station.

For once in my life

I won't let sorrow hurt me

Not like it's hurt me before

For once I have someone I know won't desert me

'Cause I'm not alone anymore…

Quickly he changed the station again.

Baby, you're all that I want

When you're lyin' here in my arms,

I'm finding it hard to believe

We're in heaven

And love is all I need

And I found it there in your heart…

In exasperation, he switched the station one last time.

Please don't make it wrong

Just stay for the night

All I wanna do is make love to you

Say you will

You want me too

All I wanna do is make love to you…

Now, in utter frustration, he turned off the radio and ran a hand through his thinning hair. Was EVERYONE out to get him? His mind took control at that moment and all he could see was Maddie's face…the night she had caught him with Annie. He knew how she had felt then. The same way he had felt when he'd caught her with Sam, but that had been different. She hadn't known his feelings then and he had been with HER cousin. He just couldn't shake the guilt…he could only blame himself for this one. Would he ever forget that look?

As he pulled onto his street, he saw Annie's rental car and cursed the day he ever gave her a key. He didn't even switch gears - he just kept driving.

At a loss of where to go next, he turned on the radio again to find the soulful sound of Gladys Knight…

I've had my share of life's ups and downs

But fate's been kind, the downs have been few

I guess you could say that I've been lucky

Well, I guess you could say that it's all because of you…

David turned off the radio again convinced the universe was out to get him. As he continued to drive without much regard for his destination, his mind continued to run at full speed. Suddenly, he found himself turning the radio back on…

Oh, there have been times when times were hard

But always somehow I made it, I made it through

'Cause for every moment that I've spent hurting

There was a moment that I spent just loving you

If anyone should ever write my life story

For whatever reason there might be

Oh, you'll be there between each line of pain and glory

'Cause you're the best thing that ever happened to me

I know, you're the best thing that ever happened to me…

Before long, he ended up outside the familiar brick building. As he got out of the car, he looked up at the sign above the door reading, "Jake's."

When David entered the bar, hardly a soul was there. Mostly the employees were busying themselves to prepare for the Happy Hour crowd. David didn't notice as he walked up to the bar and sat down at his usual spot. A tall, dark-haired man walked up to him from behind the bar and said, "It's kind of early for you. Isn't it, David?"

"Tequila, Nate." The man quietly poured the drink and set the shot glass on the counter. David gulped it down and said, "Keep 'em comin'."

Nate poured another saying, "Want to tell me about it?"

After downing the second glass, David looked at the bartender blankly, "Not really."

"What did you do?"

David shoved the shot glass back at the man who reluctantly filled it again. The second the glass was placed on the counter David gulped the contents. "Another," was all David said.

Maddie wasn't exactly sure what she was doing as she drove across town at nearly one in the morning. When Nate had called her, she had been surprised. He had made some comment about David and asked if she could take him home. Nate had used the term "out-of-sorts" to describe David's behavior, but she knew he was more than just out-of-sorts. What had happened? How had they ended up where they were now?

As she stopped at the stop light, she thought back to that day at the hospital. She had seen the worry on his face as he'd rode with her in the ambulance. He'd fought with the paramedic about letting him ride with her - something about seatbelt laws. Through that ordeal, that act had gone unnoticed by her…that was until this moment. They had relented and David didn't let go of her hand all the way to the hospital. She couldn't deny what she had seen in his eyes was love.

Now look at them. He had hooked up with Annie and why? As she turned down another street, she knew the answer. She had pushed them together perhaps out of that fear of hers. The fear of what, though? Fear of the uncertainty? Of commitment? Of David?

How could she have a life with David? That month they had spent together, she had to admit, had been wonderful. The question was: what did they have? Great sex? Her mind kept reverting back to that look in David's eyes. Did she love him then?

She had pulled up to the bar at this point and put the car into park. With a drop of her head, she knew the answer. That hadn't changed. She had lied to Annie when she asked how she felt about her relationship with David. The whole thought of her cousin and David filled her with rage and jealousy that she didn't even know she could feel, but she had gotten pretty good at hiding it. She was good at hiding a lot of things. She hated that David had seemingly moved on - at least at the time. Now, however, her having to pick him up out of a drunken stupor, told her that perhaps he was having regrets too.

When Maddie entered the bar, the place was bustling for that Saturday night. She scanned the crowded room until she saw David at the bar passed out face-down on the counter.

Nate looked up from the drinks he was making as Maddie approached the bar. He placed the drinks on a tray and passed it off to another bartender. "Hi, Maddie. It's been a while."

She tried to smile, but knew it wasn't convincing. "Hi, Nate." Looking at David, she asked, "How long has he been like this?"

"The last hour. After nine shots of tequila, I refused to serve him. When I had to cover a party in the next room, David grabbed one of the new guys. When I got back, he was already on his fifth scotch. I hated to bother you, but I couldn't just stick him in a cab and I didn't know who else to call."

"Thanks, Nate. I'll take care of it."

"David? I'm taking you home," she said as she shook him. He didn't move. She just looked down at the back of his head and sighed. Slowly, she turned his head to see his face. When she did, she just stared at him.

How many times had she seen that face rolling over in the middle of the night and finding him lying next to her? He had always stayed with her through the night only leaving at the break of dawn. It was as if he had wanted it to last as long as possible. She had loved that about him. She would have never admitted it to him, but she hated sleeping alone. Even now, she sometimes turned over at night hoping to find him there…yet, knowing he wouldn't be.

David opened his eyes, but not really seeing, "Where am I?"

"I'm taking you home, David."

He looked up at her and said, "I don't remember calling a cab."

"Come on," she said as she hoisted him to his feet. She grabbed him by his jacket collar as he quickly clung to her shoulder. As he found himself holding onto her shoulder, he took in the scent of lavender which he recognized as her after shower spray. Until she was standing there in front of him, he hadn't fully realized how much he wanted to be near her.

When they had made the awkward walk to the car, Maddie shoved him into the passenger's seat. Maddie was dreading the drive home and so she wasn't in a big hurry to get behind the wheel. She took her time walking around the car and getting in. When she had buckled her seatbelt, she turned to her right and was relieved to find David had passed out again. With that, she sighed and turned the key in the ignition.

On the way to his apartment, she tried desperately to make her mind clear. It didn't work. As hard as she tried, she could not get her mind to focus on anything besides the man sitting next to her. What made it worse was what she was wearing.

When Nate had called, she had been asleep. She threw on whatever she could find at the last minute which was a pair of sweats. Not only did she not want Annie to know what she was doing, but she also wanted to get the deed over with as soon as possible, so she hadn't paid all that much attention to what she was putting on. She didn't notice until she had gotten to the bar and realized the sweats she was wearing were David's.

She had found them in the bottom drawer of her dresser. He must have snuck them in there at some time, but when had he done that? A strange feeling came over her as she sat at the red light. As much as she'd tried to figure a way out of this situation and had wanted it to be over, there was a part of her that wished she could freeze time. At that moment, she was comfortable and she didn't want the feeling to go away.

Suddenly, a car honked from behind her and she looked up at the green light. As she continued to drive, she took one last look at David and wondered if the stars had ever been aligned in their favor or if they were doomed from the start.

When Maddie dragged David into his apartment, it was dark and empty. It was just as she'd remembered it. Maddie dragged David the rest of the way to his bedroom where she let him fall onto his bed. David hadn't woken and was lying face down on his pillow.

For the longest time, she just stared at him. She knew Annie was at her place and after seeing David like this and knowing how she felt, she just couldn't face her. As she stood in the middle of his bedroom, she knew she couldn't stay there either. She almost laughed at that thought. What was she supposed to do?

She looked around the room that hadn't changed since the last time she had been there…

It was 5 am and Maddie was startled awake by a sound she didn't recognize. She opened her eyes and found herself unsure of where she was - the walls were bare, no furniture- only a bed, a weight bench and a chair …David's apartment. She looked over to see David was still asleep.

Slowly he roused and mumbled something she didn't hear. When she heard the sound again, she realized it was the plumbing upstairs. David rolled over to burry his head in the pillow, but saw her awake. As the two met eyes, a smile slowly crept across his face. "Hey, Goldilocks." Maddie didn't say anything as she pulled the sheets up to her chin. As the screeching sound could be heard yet again, David grimaced and said, "Sorry, he always takes a shower at this time on a Sunday."

"How do you live like this, David?"

"Years of squalor, I guess," he said with a yawn.

"Have you talked to the landlord?"

David laughed, "You mean the one who's never around?"

"Well…you shouldn't have to live like this." David just smiled at her through his sleepiness. "…and you really should think about furniture…"

David moaned and covered his head with his pillow. Maddie had been on his case for the last two weeks about this furniture thing and he had groan tired of it after a week. She had even left a few catalogues lying around to make her point.

"I mean, I'm not asking for much. A couch, a table…is that too much to ask?"

David removed the pillow and looked at her a moment. "Why does it matter?"

She had to ponder the question a moment. Why did she care so much? She had really rather liked that picnic he'd laid out on his bare living room floor, but she would have preferred what had followed had taken place elsewhere. She had tried to pass it off as being for his own good, but was that really it? Was it really about her? About them? "I don't know…" she began. "It might be nice to eat at a table for a change."

She hadn't been looking at him and when she did, he had a perplexed look on his face. After a few seconds of silence, David said, "Well, maybe…" He drew closer to her and continued, "…but maybe you could do a little more convincing." Before she could talk herself out of it, she drew closer to him and they kissed. A week later, she left for Chicago.

As she snapped back to the present, she realized how much David had been right that morning before she left for Chicago. They had both done a lot of screwing up in their relationship. As she thought back to that memory, she realized how much David had tried and wanted to be with her. He had been willing to at least shed some of his bachelor ways for her - even if it was getting a table. It was something. Had she really given all she could have? Had David been right?

She looked back to David who was still in the same position and decided it was time to leave. Before she left, she took the navy blue comforter that was crumpled into a pile at the foot of the bed and gently covered him with it.

As she laid the edge of the comforter up to his shoulders carefully as not to wake him, he mumbled, "Maddie," but didn't wake.

She couldn't name the emotions she was feeling at that moment, so before she would allow herself to fully realize them, she headed out of the bedroom. She didn't stop until she was belted into the car. On her way home, she stayed a solid rock of emotion - not allowing any feeling. This had gotten easier to the point that it just left her numb.

When she entered her house, it was silent and dark. Apparently, Annie hadn't noticed she had left and she quietly climbed the stairs to her bedroom. Once she had shut herself securely in her room, she just leaned against the door.

All she wanted was to sleep at that point, although, she didn't think she'd be able to. Slowly, she walked away from the door and headed toward her bathroom. When she was standing in front of her mirror, she almost didn't recognize herself. She looked to have aged at least five or so years since that morning. She let herself sit at her vanity and then collapsed her head into her hands. As she felt the tears well up behind her eyes, she desperately wanted to mend the mess she had gotten herself into. She looked back at herself in the mirror and asked her reflection, "How do I do that?"

She looked down at the sweats and really didn't feel like changing her clothes, so she got up and headed for her bed. Once the lights were out, she pulled the covers up to her chin. As hard as she continued to try, she couldn't get David Addison out of her mind. She couldn't help but wish for his presence, his arms around her…she ached for him…and for the simple things she used to take for granted: his grin, the pet names, and the way he kissed her cheek before he left her in the morning.

Without realizing it, she had pulled her legs into a fetal position and was hugging herself. She realized at that point, that David's scent was still on the cotton fabric of the sweats. As she took it in, she began to cry. As much as she had denied it to herself, she missed everything about him. She missed his aftershave on her sheets, the warmth of his body next to her in the middle of the night, waking up to the sound of his singing in the shower and even the horrible coffee he made. How could she have let herself do this? Why had she pushed him away? As she cried in the darkness of her room, she felt there was nothing she could do then. There was no way of rectifying this. She had pushed him away forever.

As the sunlight streaked through the curtain-less window, David rolled onto his side. He grumbled as he felt the beginnings of the inevitable handover. As he rolled onto his back, he mumbled, "Maddie, could you…" and suddenly he realized he was alone. He slowly looked around the room and wondered why he had thought Maddie had been there. It had been months…more than a year…since he had last woken up with her beside him.

That's when it hit him that she had been there the previous night. Through his drunken state, he had remembered the softness of her voice. He could still smell the lavender. It took him a few seconds to realize the scent was actually in a locked away part of his mind and not in the air. How desperately he wanted that smell on his sheets instead of in his head.

He dropped his head as he remembered the previous day. Getting drunk hadn't solved a thing…never did. As he ran a hand across his face, he tried to remember more of that ride to his apartment. What had made her go down there to take him home? He vaguely remembered her helping him to his feet and doing so in silence. Normally she would yell at him, scold him or say something about him being immature. Did this mean something?

His head was pounding and he really didn't want to think anymore, so he threw the comforter over his head.

As Maddie slowly awoke, she was still in a fetal position. When she saw it was nearly nine, she knew she should get up, but really didn't want to. She rolled over onto her back and thought back to the previous night. If she had followed through on what her heart was telling her to do, she would have woken next to David. She had listened to her head instead and as she lay in her bed alone, she wondered if that was the right choice.

Before she could think of it anymore, she pulled back the covers and got out of bed. She entered the bathroom and took a long look at herself in the mirror. David's words from a year before echoed in her mind. You look so sad. She looked away in shame. He had shown her in every way that he could that he loved her. What did she do then? Ran away. She didn't want to think anymore, so she quickly disrobed and climbed into the shower.

When David was aroused again from his hangover induced sleep, it was from a knock on the door. He turned to see the clock which read 9:30 and groaned. As he staggered to his feet, he saw that he was still wearing the clothes from the day before.

He made his way through the bare living room to the door. Being only semi-conscious, he didn't check to see who was outside. He opened the door to find Annie on the other side. "David…you look terrible. What happened to you?"

David looked away to try and decide how he wanted to do this. He hadn't exactly devised a plan, he never did, but he knew he had to do it now. "Nothing a little aspirin won't cure." He absently ran a hand over his left eye where he felt excruciating pain.

"I came by yesterday, but you weren't here. Where were you all day?"

This was just all too laughable, he was thinking. SHE was asking HIM questions?! He looked to the door frame and said, "Listen, I've been doing some thinking…"

"Really. Doing so down at the bar? I can smell the alcohol from here."

He shot her a glance that could kill. This whole situation with her was the cause of this hangover, afterall. Quickly, he put it out of his mind. He knew what he had to do. "This isn't working."

"What do you mean, David?"

"It means what it sounds like. This was a mistake and it's time it ended."

"What is this really about?"

For the first time that morning, David really looked at Annie, "What?"

"This is about Maddie. Isn't it."

David diverted his gaze to the door frame again. "You have no idea what this is about."

"So, what IS it about?"

"Some things you just don't need to know."

"So, you'll sleep with me, but you won't tell me anything?"

David shot another look at her filled with rage, "Would you get your head around the idea that there are some things that don't involve you?!"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means there are things you know nothing about…things you don't need to know…things that are none of your business."

"About Maddie…and you," she said with a scowl.

David was seething and turned his head toward the ceiling and laughed, "How could I have been so stupid?" He turned and looked at her, "How could I have been with such a cold, unfeeling Bitch?!"

Annie slapped David across the face and stormed away from the front door. As she left, David slammed the door. When he was alone again, he just stood there. Annie was gone and there wasn't a single part of him that regretted it.

He ran a hand across his cheek which still stung. He remembered back to that day when Maddie had walked into his life – she'd fired him, insulted him and slapped him. A smile came to his face. He wasn't that same guy anymore and he didn't care. Maddie had brought out the best in him. A part of him he hadn't known existed. He hadn't lied to her that day in her office before she had left for Chicago - he had never been happier than when he was with her.

He frowned when he thought of the mess he'd made. What had Annie brought out in him? "The worst," he said with shame. Could he ever mend this?

Maddie had taken a long, hot shower and although her spirit wasn't renewed, at least her outer appearance was. She was in the kitchen making some coffee when she heard the front door slam. It hadn't occurred to her until then that she hadn't seen Annie at all that morning and she entered the living room to see Annie climbing the stairs.

When Annie saw Maddie, she said, "I'm leaving."

"What," she said surprised. "Where are you going?"

"I don't care. Anywhere but here." Annie saw the questioning look on Maddie's face, so she added, "Nothing against you, Maddie. You have been very nice to me. I just want as far away from LA as I can get. I'll be leaving as soon as I pack my bags."

Within the hour, Annie was gone. Maddie couldn't say as she wasn't relieved. As she sat in her quiet living room that Sunday afternoon, she began to plan how she would approach things on Monday.

Monday morning at just after eight, Maddie walked into Blue Moon and was greeted by Agnes. "Good morning, Miss Hayes."

"Good morning, Miss DiPesto. Is Mr. Addison in?"

"No, Miss Hayes." For a moment, Maddie just stood here staring at his office door. "Would you like me to buzz you when he comes in?"

"No, it's not that important. I'll be in my office."

Two hours later after trying to get some work done that didn't really get done, Agnes popped into her office without knocking. "Miss DiPesto."

"Miss Hayes, something's wrong with Mr. Addison."

"Did he just get in?"

"He just walked in. He wasn't singing, he didn't make any jokes, he didn't say anything…" She held up the LA Times as she said, "He didn't even take the newspaper… What do you think that could mean?"

Maddie was suspecting this had to do with the mood Annie was in before she stormed out of her house the previous day. She remained calm as she walked over to Agnes and took the newspaper from her hand. "I'm sure everything's fine."

She entered the outer office to find the employees staring at her as she crossed to David's office. Maddie stood outside the office for a moment and then knocked. "Come in," David said from inside. Once she had entered and closed the door, everyone looked at each other a moment before rushing to the door to listen.

When Maddie entered David's office, he was sitting in his chair staring out the window. "Good morning, David. Have a good weekend?"

"Oh, you know. It was a weekend," he said not moving to look at her.

Maddie casually crossed the room and laid the newspaper on his desk, "You forgot this."

David turned to see the paper on his desk and said, "Oh, guess I had things on my mind."

Maddie sat down in the chair in front of his desk, "What kind of things?"

"Just things," David replied continuing to divert his gaze out the window.

"Do these things have anything to do with why my house guest left so abruptly yesterday?" David finally looked at her in surprise afraid he would be met with scorn, but when he looked into her eyes, all he saw was the softness he had always loved. She sensed his fear and continued, "I'm not here to judge you, David. I should really be the one to judge. I just want to let you know that you can talk to me if you want to. I mean, we are friends, aren't we?"

"Of course," he said which was the only truly honest thing he'd said in weeks. "So, anything new on this case," he asked conveniently changing the subject.

"The Anselmo case? I think it's a wild goose chase. I've been going over phone records all morning. It doesn't make any sense."

"It's a lot of money, Maddie. We could use it."

"Well, it's up to you."

David stared at her a moment and then shook his head. "Could you run that by me again? I was sure you said it was up to me."

"That's what I said."

"Since when have you let me make the call on a case?"

"Since we became partners…and since you took the case," she said with a slight smile.

David had an inquisitive look on his face as he stood and walked over to her. "Maddie, is that you? I mean, you're almost reasonable."

She laughed and said, "I had a weekend too. I did a lot of thinking."

The two just stared at each other for a few seconds - saying nothing, yet saying everything. At the same time, each was trying desperately to read the other.

Maddie broke the silence, "Well, I'd better get back to work."

David tried to pull himself together and grabbed the newspaper from his desk, "Yeah, me too."

Maddie took one more look at him before she left the room. As soon as the doorknob turned, the employees scattered from the huddle around their boss' door. She was oblivious to the stares as she crossed the office. Once she was in her own office again, she sighed. When would it get easier?

As soon as Maddie had left, David dropped back into his chair and dropped the newspaper on his desk. Placing his head in his hands, he wondered if he could ever make things right with her. Did she want him the way he wanted her?

At noon, Maddie was trying to go through the shambles that was the Anselmo file when there was a knock on the door. "Come in," Maddie said absently.

David walked in to find Maddie staring at a batch of photos. "Find anything?"

She looked up and said, "This case doesn't make any sense."

"We could drop it..."

Maddie dropped the photos onto her desk and replied, "No…we need the money."

"We finally agree on something," David said with a smile.

She looked up at him and realized it had been a while since she had seen him smile.

"So."

"So."

Maddie looked at him a moment waiting for him to say something then said, "What's up?"

"Well…it's lunch time. I was thinking of going out for a bite…and…wondered if you wanted to come with."

She was looking at him in thought. For a moment, neither said a word and David was beginning to regret the invite. That is until she answered, "Where are we going?"

Two weeks passed and David was feeling on top of the world. That one lunch had let to others along with a few dinners. Maddie had even suggested an actual date.

It was a few days after their initial lunch and David had walked into the office singing which he hadn't done in so long that the employees weren't sure it was really their boss. In fact, Agnes was sure there was something wrong because he was singing a Herman's Hermit's song…

She's the kind of girl who's not too shy
And I can tell I'm her kind of guy
She danced close to me like I hoped she would
Somethin' tells me I'm into something good...

"Mr. Addison," Agnes began.

David pulled himself from the song, "Yes, Miss DiPesto."

"Is everything okay?"

David looked around the office at the other employees who were all looking at him as if he had lost his mind. "Hey, kids. No worries. Everything is fine. In fact, things are better than fine."

"They are," Agnes asked.

"They are. Is Miss Hayes in?"

"She got in just a little while ago."

David headed off toward Maddie's office with a stride and continued to sing…

We only danced for a minute or two
But then she stuck close to me the whole night through...

When he entered her office, she was going over some paperwork. When she heard the door click shut, she looked up at him. They both smiled at each other and David walked over taking his usual spot on the edge of her desk.

"Hey, stranger," Maddie said.

"Hey, yourself."

"I had a good time last night."

"So did I. Probably a first for us."

"David…"

David chuckled and said, "I mean a date that didn't involve some sort of catastrophe."

"It was a business dinner, David."

"Really," he said flashing his signature grin, "I wish all my business dinners ended up on the dance floor."

Maddie laughed a moment and said, "Okay, so part of it was." The two smiled at each other in the silence. "So, what are you doing tonight?"

"Well, I was thinking about cleaning out my fridge, but I think I could get talked out of it."

Maddie looked down at her desk where a small pile of paperwork was lying. She began to shuffle the papers as she said, "Well, I thought we could maybe try a real date."

David placed his hand on hers which stopped her from what she was doing. She looked up and right into his green eyes. "Like what?"

She felt a little nervous for a moment and found it hard to find the words. "Well, I thought maybe a movie, dinner…no work."

David continued to grin, "I like that."

"What do you want to see?"

"Doesn't matter…as long as I can see you."

That night, David picked Maddie up and they went to dinner. Despite their best efforts, they couldn't help but talk about work. If they weren't talking about the Anselmo case or what crazy new thing Bert had come up with it was some new idea David had. As she sat across from him at the trendy little diner (David's choice), she found herself laughing (really laughing) for the first time in months.

The movie had been something Maddie had picked out. David had been honest about not caring what he saw…all he wanted was to at least have the chance to hold her. When he tried to put his arm around her, she didn't hesitative. She actually leaned into him and laid her head on his shoulder.

As much as David wanted to be closer to her, he laid off. He knew he had done things that had fractured her trust in him. They hadn't talked about it, but he knew this would take time. As he sat in the darkened movie theater with her head on his shoulder, he didn't care about what they weren't doing. All he cared about was that it seemed as though she was giving him and THEM a second chance. Usually, he wasn't a patient man, but with Maddie, he felt whatever he had to do was worth the wait.

For the next two weeks, they continued their usual lunches and the occasional dinner. Soon the occasional dinner became every night. Movies out became movies in - Maddie's living room. Very little physical contact happened in those weeks besides hand holding or a peck on the cheek.

David resolved to just be happy that she was inviting him into her home again and that she was letting him cook for her. In fact, he was startled one day when he caught her saying to him as he headed out of her office one day, "Could you stop by the store? I don't have a thing in the house…" When she realized what she had said, she looked up to see the biggest smile she'd seen on his face in a while.

It wasn't just David who was happy - Maddie was feeling better than she had in a long time. Finally, she was listening to her heart and for the first time her heart and her mind were in sync. They were spending nearly every waking moment together. Once, she would have found that suffocating, but now she couldn't imagine it any other way. She was finding it harder and harder to see him leave at the end of the night, but was also impressed that he wasn't pushing her. She loved him for that…she loved him anyway, but she loved him especially for that. How had she let herself be in such denial?

Even the employees were happier. Just seeing their bosses happy made moral better. Bert and Magillicuddy hadn't had a fight in weeks and the office betting pool had ceased. There had been a pool started in the first year about when David and Maddie would "get together" and when Maddie had become pregnant, everyone knew someone had won that pool…since their bosses weren't saying anything, the bet was changed. It became, when will they return to each other. The bet was up to over $1,000, but after months of drama, yelling and tears, no one really cared about the growing winnings.

One day, Maddie found an extra $1,700 in petty cash she swore wasn't there the last time she had gone through the books. When she asked Agnes, she said, "I don't know. It must have been misplaced." Maddie was skeptical, but something told her to leave it alone.

Blue Moon was finally running at satisfactory efficiency...not peak efficiency, but still pretty good. It had not been known by the employees, but the business had not been doing so well. The Anselmo case had been their only substantial case for some time. They had had other cases along the way, but there were months where Maddie just managed to squeak by. Maddie hadn't even told David because she knew he'd try to come up with some stupid scheme or plan and, in a way, she blamed herself. Hadn't Lauren warned them about this too?

Since things had become somewhat resolved with her and David, things seemed to be doing better. She had to admit that she was content with her life and she couldn't say as she had felt that way in a long while.

Everything seemed to be going well, that is, until James Andrews walked into their lives.