"The Black Spot in the Sun"
I brushed my thick, mid-length blonde hair out of my eyes. Yawning and stretching afterwards, I squinted into the mirror through the unforgivingly brilliant morning sunlight. It seemed the whole room was made a bright, cheerful yellow. I, however, found the light to be excruciating. My eyes still had the baggage underneath them that accumulated from sleeping far too little. I yawned and walked to the bathroom in my satin pink bra and a baggy pair of plaid red pants. No slippers; my feet were free spirits.
Soothing my face with cold water, I just had to massage my eyelids. The pupils dormant underneath still would not cooperate with the light that wished to enter.
"Sigh..." Hands whipped their soaked selves into a fleece towel. "I can't take this anymore."
So what if I was always so damn cheerful. So what if I started to feel the temperature of the sun's rays tickling my back, and the crispness of the water as it hit my hands. That was what I wanted. I wanted to feel the world. And my world was Kouya.
That was the thing about me. I was human. When it came down to it, that was all I could ever expect of myself. I cried, I cursed, I loved in silence. My cheeky, pleasant, flirtatious air was all part of a mask separate from myself. A stranger. Unfortunately, that's not what I wanted to be after I met the woman I loved.
More and more as time went on, I knew that as much as I was human, I was Kouya's slave. I belonged to her, not that she ever really took advantage of that. I was willingly there for her, and I couldn't take the separation that was oozing its way between us.
Nagisa-sensei.
That bitch always hated me.
As much as possible, she would keep Kouya safe, Kouya warm, Kouya away from me. She was not to let it be known to her class that she was not a virgin; she was respectable and deserved that anyway. I can't blame Sensei...maybe in my heart I knew it was inevitable that I could never truly be worthy of my Fighter.
But it was all I could try to do with myself. It was my reason for living. Especially after my name started to fade.
"Kuso...WHY?!" I tore my bra off, thrusting it away from me and grinding my teeth at the number 0 that was nearly the color of my flesh anymore. Where was it going? This simple, pronounced, beautiful character the hue of India ink that so closely linked me to Kouya? I could die right there with the brand shown to the world when it was deep black. I couldn't take seeing it leave slowly, painfully.
I smiled. I laughed. The tears just rolled down my face like little gray pebbles, and it hurt just to know that I was shedding them. But what could I do? I couldn't do a thing. I was out of control, and still had no idea what was breaking my life apart. All I knew was that all that mattered to me was my bond with Kouya.
And how long would that last?
I felt naked sitting there, topless and stupid.
"Yamato."
The tears stopped flowing on a dime. I didn't dare turn my head. It was not right that she was even in my house since the previous night.
Dear God, Nagisa would have killed me.
"Don't come in, Kouya," I told her, in barely a whisper. She had never seen me like this. I didn't want her to, either. She was silent, strong, but most of all, intuitive. Her mind was constantly out there, you know? Interpretative. Swift. Surreal. I'm sure that she knew right then that she could change the way I was feeling within a couple minutes.
I could her Kouya's slippered feet tiptoe up close to me. She leaned in towards me and held out my bra as her soft black hair, full of static given to her from her pillow, reached out for my left cheek.
"Here," she said.
I still didn't look up, but I took my underwear from her. I nodded in thanks as she stayed there, solemn for a couple minutes. Even though I could feel, somewhat, I was still benumbed.
The one thing I never, ever ceased to feel, though, were her almond-shaped, intense gray eyes.
They hovered with little effort on my plum-red face (I could not feel it 'getting hot' as so many people can say) before she scuttled out in her long-sleeved olive green nightdress.
At that moment, I realized that I didn't want her to leave me. I didn't want her to leave my side, not even for a second. I just sat there, quietly, for a full minute or so until I mustered up the breath to call her lovely name: "Kouya...?"
I nearly laughed (I told you she could change my mood in no time) when I saw that she was right behind the door the entire time, waiting for me patiently. "Yes?" she replied, in a voice of hard, smooth stone.
"Could you come here?"
The door creaked, and in walked Kouya. She just stood there and did not blink.
Many might think Kouya as an eerily collected, jaded ice queen. Full of genius, but strict and silent. But I knew that when we kissed, she was a pink flower that sparkled with freshness, and past all of her barriers,
She would open.
...Why was she not taking the initiative? She usually would quietly ask for a kiss. I rarely just went on and made the first move. After all, for all of my extrovertive glory, I was her Sacrifice.
Although I was topless and scared, I knew what I wanted to do. And so I kissed her.
She immediately moaned. After she closed her eyes in anticipation, she gazed at my bare boobs. She reached out to touch them, but she just sighed and licked them sweetly.
"Nnn--!" Oh, she was so beautiful. And unlike most guys, girls like her could just naturally kiss. We shared a bond stronger than our names, I hoped. It was during times like this I thought we could last forever.
"Kouya?"
"Hm?"
"Here." I helped myself this time, sliding my hands up her nightshirt and unclasping her bra. I felt her small breasts and held one fully in each palm and giggled. She growled at my playfulness and frowned. Maybe she liked my boobs so much because she lacked her own...? (Haha, that's bad, ne?)
Well, when I smiled and winked at her, she drove me to the floor and wedged her tongue forcefully through my lips. Our mouths were connected, and melted right into each other. She sighed, and I could not help but knead my eyebrows in satisfaction. I clutched her perfect, small-framed body to mine and thanked God for her. My Fighter.
Our passion was rising; I could feel myself wanting more and more to lick through her. But she was prompted and slid her hands down into my pants...
That is when the cellular phone rang on the sink.
I bolted for it. Darn...if only I could be free of Nagisa. But I knew what she was calling for. Kouya had been absent from her own phone for too long. She even had her foster parents to worry about.
I decided to let it ring, but Kouya didn't continue. She didn't need to.
When she smiled at me a moment later, my heart nearly exploded.
I never knew if she realized that my name, Zero, was slipping away from me. The time would soon arrive when the unseen force that brought us to each other, made me hers, would soon disappear and be replaced with a bond fully rejuvenated. A promise to each other that was all ours.
She just left the room with that precious rare smile on her face as I put my bra back on.
