A/N: I nearly abandoned this writing thing, but it's summer and I wanted something to do, so here I am. Get ready for drama, cause shit's gonna hit the fan pretty fast. Also, I don't curse in real life, so I project my frustrations onto my characters. Enjoy this trash fest! - Phoenix

Chapter One: You Must Think That I'm Stupid

"One universe if we exclude the multiverse theory, infinite amounts of galaxies, infinite solar systems besides ours, nine planets because Viva la Pluto fuck you, seven oceans, seven continents, 195 countries, 69 cities in UK alone, 32,113 schools, 6 billion people on this god-forsaken planet, and I still had the misfortune of meeting you? Must be fucking fate." With that, Hermione Granger turned on her heel and flounced away, leaving an astounded Draco Malfoy in her wake.

PROLOGUE - TEN DAYS AGO

Ginny Weasley sighed. This was not the first time she had sighed, nor was it unusual for her to sigh. However, it was the twentieth time she had huffed out an overly loud breath in the past two minutes and sixteen seconds, and everyone besides Ginny could feel Madam Pince getting red in the face. The other seventh years at her table began putting their ink and quills away while alternating between glaring at the redhead and shooting apologetic glances at the frustrated librarian.

"Ginny, love, exactly who I was looking for!"

Ginny looked up into the electric eyes of one Savior of the Wizarding World, and sighed again.