"Derek!" She calls his name as soon as she's through the door. Pausing to hang her bag on her hook, Casey glances around the room. When there's no sign of her stepbrother, her face turns down in a frown. "Derek!"
He emerges from the kitchen, a bag of chips in his hand. Casey's face twists as he shoves a handful in his mouth at the same time that he says, "Calm down,"
She pauses, forgetting why she was yelling in the first place, "You're going to ruin your dinner."
Casey's envious of the way that he arches one brow at her, "That's what you want to yell at me about?" He rolls his eyes. "It's like you've just met me."
"Huh? Just because you're a bottomless pit doesn't mean—" He's turning to go, and she quickly tries to get back on track. Then she remembers, "Oh, no. Derek!"
He's growing frustrated. "What?"
"You were on the radio!"
He scrunches his face up in distaste. "Oh, that."
"Yes, that." Casey scoffs, following him as he disappears back into the kitchen. "What do you mean 'oh that'?" He laughs at her sad attempt at impersonating him.
"Who was that supposed to be, Oscar the Grouch?"
She swats at his arm. "You were on the radio!"
"Yeah, that happens."
"That happens?" She can hear her voice go up a couple of notches, but she can't very well take it back. "What do you mean that happens?"
Derek shrugs. "The radio does this thing all the time. You know, someone sends an email to the station when a person they're trying to reach won't call them back after a date. I've been on a couple of times. What's the big deal?"
"The big deal is..." She pauses, unsure why she's so worked up about this. "I mean, you weren't very nice about it at all." Then, she squints her eyes at him. "A couple of times?"
Derek shrugs again. "Are you going to repeat everything I say? Yeah, a couple. I don't know, I don't count."
Casey looks contemplative, following him now from the kitchen to the living room. "And this works? The girls get another date?"
Derek shrugs. "Have you never listened to Second Date Update?" He shakes his head, disappointed with her as usual. Not that she cares what he thinks or anything, but just once she wishes he'd be impressed rather than disappointed. "With me, they don't usually get another date; I mean, there's a reason I'm not calling them back, but for other people, it is sometimes successful." He turns to her, catching the look on her face. He gives a long, tired sigh like dealing with her wears him out. "Casey, don't even think about it."
How does he do that? "Think about what?" She shifts away from him, straightening the blanket on the back of the couch. "You can hardly read a book, there's no way that you can read my mind.
He rolls his eyes, moving into her space. "I know you better than you think; I know exactly what you're thinking." She won't meet his eyes, even as he steps closer to her. She scoffs because his close proximity doesn't make her nervous. Not a bit. Nope. "You think that you can get Cameron on the radio and you can find out why he hasn't called you back."
That is what she was thinking, but she doesn't want him to know that. She won't give him the satisfaction of being right. Casey shrugs. "I hadn't even considered the idea." Derek looks unimpressed. "But," and he snorts like he had predicted her response. He probably had. "Since you brought it up," he's definitely not buying her nonchalant act, "What's the problem with it?"
Cameron had been perfect. He held open doors, he was smart, he didn't like hockey, and he asked for her opinion. Then, when she gave her view, he listened to it. They'd been flirting for several weeks when he finally asked her out. Then, they'd gone on a really great date, come back to the apartment—where he met Derek, and believe her when she says she's sure he had something to do with it. Casey thought the date had been great, but he's been avoiding her since.
"You're going to embarrass yourself. Casey, if he's not calling you back, there's a reason for it. Do you want to find out why on the radio where people you know might hear it?"
She glances at the handful of chips in his hand; Cameron had eaten like a normal person, and not a starving caveman. The blanket still needed straightening, and she pulls at the edges, shrugging. As much as she hates to admit, Derek has a point. He seems to think so, too, because he looks satisfied and decides he's done with the conversation, picking up the remote to flip through the channels.
Still, Casey can't help but think that it would be the only way she'll ever get answers. And, well, she's never really been one to leave well enough alone.
...
It's nearly a week later, and Casey's pacing the length of their tiny living room, her phone pressed to her ear, clutched tight in her hand. "We're back! For those of you just joining us, this is the Kingston Morning Show with Dave and Honey. We're starting with today's second date update. Today we're talking to a student from Queen's University—"
"Someone else calling for Derek?" Honey interrupts Dave. Casey rolls her eyes. Typical. Everything comes back to him.
Honey, Dave, and a yet to be named radio personality all chuckle. Unseen, Casey glares at them all. "Not today," Dave clarifies.
"That's a first," the unidentified third voice says. They chuckle again.
Dave takes over the mic once more. "This morning we're talking to Casey, and she wants to call Cameron. Casey, you there?"
Deep breath. "Yes, I'm here." Her voice is tight, but almost panicked. She forces another deep breath. Inhale.
"Why don't you tell us a little bit about Cameron?"
Exhale. "We met at the coffee shop on campus," Casey starts, "we happened to be there at the same time every Monday and Wednesday, so eventually we started talking."
"Did he initiate flirting, or did you?" Honey interrupts.
Casey shrugs, even though they can't see her. "He did. I, uh, I didn't notice him at first," she admits. "I was usually reading a book. I'd see his face when I first walked in, but aside from that, I didn't pay much attention, but he initiated conversation."
Honey is encouraging, "That's good that he opened the door to communication first."
"Yeah," Casey agrees, relaxing. "Yeah. So, he's super smart. He likes interesting movies like things don't have to blow up in it for him to consider it a good movie. He doesn't like hockey—"
"Is that important," Dave interrupts. "Hockey specifically."
She blinks. Hadn't she said sports? "Oh, um, no. It's just... a big thing with my family, so it's refreshing to meet someone who isn't obsessed with it? My roommate is also obsessed with hockey. Um, anyway, he's good looking, very polite, and we had some terrific conversation. He's practically perfect. And so different from—" She stops herself from saying Derek, because this is not about him, "people I know."
"Practically perfect?"
"Well, no one is perfect."
"Right," Dave agrees. "So, tell us about the date."
"Uh, well, we flirted for a few weeks before he asked me out. We went to a movie, had some dinner, and then went to an ice cream parlor and walked around for like an hour with ice cream cones."
Honey takes over. She sounds kind, and Casey likes her, "That sounds like a good date. Was it Cameron's idea or yours to go for the ice cream?"
Casey pauses, trying to recall. "His, I think."
"Anyway, we went back to my apartment, he met my roommate, and then he left not long after that."
"So, why do you think he's not calling you back?"
Casey blushes. Obviously, if she knew that, she wouldn't be calling them. "I don't know. I thought he had a good time; it seemed like he had a good time. There was, uh, there was a bit of an awkward moment. Sometimes, when I get nervous, I get a little clumsy. I might have gotten a little bit of ice cream on his shirt... or a lot."
Honey is sympathetic, "And you think that might be the reason?"
"I know that some people might find the clumsy thing... annoying." She recalls years of 'Klutzilla.' "I can't think of anything else that I might have done."
Dave makes a small noise. "Alright, well we'll play a song, and then we'll call Cameron to see if we can figure out why he isn't calling you back."
...
Casey inhales sharply when Cameron answers. "Hello?"
Dave takes the lead. She kind of wishes Honey would take over, but nothing to be done about that now. "Hi, is this Cameron?"
Cameron sounds confused as he answers, "Yes, who is this?"
"Hi, this is Dave from the Kingston Morning Show with Dave and Honey."
"Oh, yeah," He perks up, "I listen to your show."
Honey laughs, "Not a lot of radio stations in Kingston."
"No," Cameron agrees with a laugh. "But I like it, you guys are good." There's a brief pause, "So, uh what can I do for you? Did I... win something?"
"Are you familiar with the segment the Second Date Update."
"Oh."
Dave laughs, "I take it that you're a little familiar."
"Yeah..." He draws out the sound. On her end of the phone, Casey drops onto the couch. He does not sound pleased about this — she kind of hopes that he has another date that he's dreading being on the other line.
"Do you know who we're calling about?"
"Well I've only been on one date recently, so I'm guessing it would be her." So much for that hope.
"We're calling on behalf of Casey,"
"Yupp."
"You remember her?"
"She's kind of hard to forget."
"That bad?" Dave asks.
Cameron laughs too, and Casey can feel her cheeks heating up. "No, no. Casey is great. She's super smart, attractive, and a lot of fun. I enjoy her company." The blush fades, and she can feel that wide, ridiculous smile on her face. Der—some people would not be so sweet.
It's Dave's turn to sound confused, "But you don't want to call her back?"
"Yeah, it's just, well I don't think that we are compatible."
Honey interrupts, "Do you mind telling us why not? She seemed really into you. Casey told us a little about your date, and it sounded like you both had a good time. It was your idea to get ice cream?"
"She told you about our date?"
"Yeah," Honey confirms, "We talked to her."
"Yeah, it was my idea. And Casey said she liked me?"
"Yes," Dave confirms. "You seem surprised?"
"I wouldn't think that you would prolong the date if you weren't interested." Honey adds, "and people don't generally call us to get a second date if they aren't interested."
"Oh," Cameron interrupts, "I'm interested, or I was. I don't think she's that interested in me. Maybe the idea of me?"
"Casey seemed to think the reason you aren't calling her back is that she's a little clumsy and she got ice cream on your shirt."
Cameron laughed out loud, "No, that was kind of cute. I mean, it sucked to have it all over my shirt, but she was cute."
"So," Honey sounds confused. Casey is confused. "If you enjoy her company, you didn't mind the clumsiness, why aren't you calling her back?"
"Uh," Cameron said, sounding uncomfortable. "I'm not sure that I should say. This is on the radio, right? I don't want to put her on blast or anything."
"Yeah," Dave agrees, "but the thing is, Casey called us to find out why you aren't calling her back. She did so knowing it would be on the radio and she might not like the answer. Whatever it is, we have her consent to get that information from you, so we can tell her what it was. She's baffled as to why you're not calling her, and after talking to you, so am I."
Cameron sighs, long and suffering. "Casey is great; it's just, I don't think I'm the right guy for her."
"Can you elaborate?"
Another sigh. Casey is on the edge of her couch, waiting for the answer. "Did she tell you that we went back to her apartment?" Both Honey and Dave confirm. "Well, her roommate was there; he's her stepbrother. Casey has mentioned him a few times in our conversations and even during dinner. It was usually about something he did that annoyed or bothered her. It sounded like they have a pretty rocky relationship. I knew they lived together, but I wasn't super worried about it. We were stopping by so she could put something on my shirt to try and get the stain out. She took my shirt, and I was there, alone, with her stepbrother. We got to talking, and he got all defensive when I called Casey his sister. Now that I think about it, she did the same thing. Very clear that it's a step relationship. Anyway, he threatened me with severe bodily harm if I did anything to hurt Casey."
Casey was livid. She knew Derek had something to do with this! Just wait until she got a hold of him.
"Maybe he was acting like a brother. I mean, I have a brother, and he did the whole thing to anytime I started dating someone new."
"See, that's what I thought at first, too. But you should have seen the look in his eyes, he meant it. I thought it was weird, you know because they don't get along at all, and here he is protecting her. I've seen them around campus and everything, you know. They're usually fighting about something. It's not uncommon to hear her yelling 'Derek' in the quad." There's a bit of a chuckle at Derek's name, and Casey's cheeks burn pink once more.
"Then she came back into the room. I forgot what was said, but Derek said something, and it started a fight. You should have seen the way she came alive. Like I said, Casey's attractive, but she's very prim and proper, and aware of her appearance, you know? Very organized. The kind of girl who has every hair in place. It's not a problem or anything, and it works for her. It's just when she was fighting with Derek, it was something else. She was something else. There was this fire and a glint in her eyes, her cheeks got all pink. Some of her hair started to fall out of her ponytail. As much fun as I had on our date, I didn't spark that kind of reaction in her. Honestly, after seeing that, I realized that I'm looking for someone who reacts to me like that. Maybe without all the fighting." He pauses, musing, then, "Anyway, that's when I realized why she talks about him all the time; there's a UST thing going on.
"Oh!" The third radio personality voice says. There's a murmur of agreement.
Casey sinks from the couch onto the floor. Oh, this isn't happening.
"Yeah. They completely forgot I was in the room, and they do this kind of thing all the time, argue, and forget that there are others around. Casey mentioned they didn't meet until they were fifteen, so it all kind of makes sense. Anyway, I was really into her, but I like I said, I don't think she's that into me. She was so... so passionate, you know?"
"Yeah, I know," Dave said. He sounds like he's enjoying this too much. Casey wishes the floor would open up and swallow her whole.
"So, you'll let her know? I'm sorry that I just disappeared, but I didn't know how to address it. Like, how do I tell her I know she has the hots for her stepbrother?"
"Well, you just did," Dave says (somewhat gleefully).
"What?"
"Yeah, that's the other part of the segment. Casey's on the phone, and she's been listening this whole time."
"She has?"
"UST?" Casey blurts. "That wasn't UST, that was — that was animosity!"
"Casey, that was sexual tension masquerading as animosity." Cameron sounds sympathetic. Somehow that makes it worse.
"Loathing!" Casey counters; she doesn't care that she sounds hysterical on the radio (there will be time enough to worry about that later after she's convinced people that she does not have a thing for her stepbrother). Why, oh why hadn't she listened to Derek? "You can't actually think... Derek and me? It's laughable!"
"Casey," Honey interrupts. "Do you have feelings for Derek?"
"I don't— that's not— how is that even— he's my stepbrother!"
"No one is judging," Cameron says, bless him.
"I'm judging a little," Dave admits. "We get a lot of calls about Derek, though, so it kind of makes sense."
"Oh," Casey groans, burying her face into her hands. "This cannot be happening."
"Casey, I can't help but notice you didn't answer the question," Honey tries again.
"I can't believe that's even a question. Derek calls me an accident by marriage. You should see the way he shoves a whole handful of chips in his mouth."
"That's still not a no," Dave points out. Casey thinks he can screw himself.
"Is this how this thing usually goes?" Casey asks, miserably.
"No," Dave asks, laughing. "We've never had an episode like this."
"I feel like I shouldn't have to dignify that question with an answer. It's beyond absurd."
"Casey, it's okay if that's who you're interested in. If I misunderstood, then I'd love to go on a second date with you." There's a pause long enough for her to take a breath, not long enough for her to make it clear that he clearly misunderstood. "Just, uh, just answer the question; are you interested in Derek?"
The thing is, she could say no. She's a terrible liar, however, and denial will only take her so far. Casey can't bring herself to say the words. So she sits there, staring at a spot in the carpet, wishing she had listened to Derek for once.
She's going to have to change schools, change her name. Oh god.
When it becomes clear that Casey isn't going to answer the question, Dave takes over. "Well, Cameron, I still have to ask; do you want to go on a second date with Casey? We will pay for it."
Really, is that necessary?
Cameron sighs, "Nah, I'm good. I want to find something more like what Casey and Derek have."
She manages to make a choking sound that could possibly, on another planet, be understood as a laugh.
…
By the time Derek walks through the door, Casey has a full feast prepared. After the phone call with the radio station ended, she'd gone into a cleaning frenzy. That kept her busy for so long, then the guilt started to eat at her.
Not only did she embarrass herself on the radio, but she'd also dragged Derek into it. Even if he hadn't heard the segment, he was bound to hear about it from someone else. Kingston is a small town, and Honey wasn't joking when she said there weren't a lot of radio stations to choose from. Casey could already picture his angry face.
There was also the small matter of, more or less, admitting her feelings for him on the radio.
To preempt the anger, Casey had started cooking all of his favorite foods. It resulted in way too much food, but she'd learned long ago that a fed Derek was always easier to deal with.
Derek drops his things next to the bench where they're supposed to go, and Casey huffs. Cameron wants to find a relationship like this? He sniffs, then catches sight of all the food on their tiny dining table. "You made dinner?" At first, he seems pleased, but as he approaches, he catches sight of the food hiding out in the kitchen. "You made a lot of dinners." He looks at her suspiciously, Casey standing there nervously and playing with the hem of her shirt. "Do we have people coming over?"
"No. Heh." She laughs, a little maniacally. It does nothing to ease the suspicious look from Derek's face. "You know me, haha, always going over the top when I'm stressed."
He seems to accept this answer, sinking down at the table and piling a plate with food. "Why are you stressed? You don't have midterms for another month, and you don't have a test for two weeks."
"Well—" Casey cuts herself off, staring at him. "How do you know when I have a test?"
He rolls his eyes. "Just because I pretend not to hear you talk, doesn't mean I don't listen." Of course, only in Derek's head would that make sense. Still, she starts to feel a flood of warmth for him. He does pay attention. "It pays to know when you're going to get extra crazy, so I can avoid you."
She thinks back to their first year when final exams were approaching. How Derek always had people over, and they always happened to order an extra pizza while she was studying. She recalls how just as she was on the verge of panicking over exams, and Derek had dragged her out of the house insisting that he had no money, so she was going to have to pay for her ice cream.
The trouble with them is, his niceties are always hidden under a pretense of selfishness. "Yeah," Casey agrees with a roll of her eyes. Maybe he wasn't so far off base when he said he knows her better than anyone else.
When she looks at him, he's squinting at her, looking suspicious again. "This is guilt food isn't it?"
Her back straightens. "What? Pft. No. That's—hah! Preposterous."
"Casey,"
"Preposterous means—"
"I know what preposterous means." He squints at the piles of food. "It looks like guilt food." Casey tugs at her shirt. "It smells like guilt food." He takes a large bite out of his pile of mashed potatoes, and Casey can feel a trickle of sweat running down her back. "It tastes like—"
"Don't get mad!" He gives her a triumphant grin as she drops into the chair across from him and buries her face in her hands.
"What did you do?"
"Eat," she insists. He doesn't need to be told twice. Whether it was born out of guilt or not, it's still food. She waits until he takes a particularly large bite. "I called the radio this morning."
Derek groans and rolls his eyes. He says something, and her confusion must be evident because when he swallows, he repeats, "I told you not to do that."
"Hah. Yes, you did. You sure did. Ahem." She wipes some imaginary crumbs off the table. "It's just... I know what you were thinking about it, about how I was going to embarrass myself, and well, you were right. So, uh, go ahead and gloat about it."
He squints at her. "There's more, isn't there?" He gestures to the food. "What's the guilt food for, Case?"
She swallows hard, another rounds of hysterical laughter bubbling out of her. "It's all a misunderstanding, really. I didn't mean... well, I'm sure you'll hear about it eventually."
"Why would I hear about it."
"You, uh, you might have come up in, uh, the conversation?" She can't look at him, but she feels his eyes burning into her. "The conversation got away from me," he snorts. "They might have made some implications, and I really don't want you to take it the wrong way."
She hears the chair pull out from the table. She thinks Derek must know. He's not even waiting to listen to what the misunderstanding is. When she looks up, though, he's standing beside her. "Tell me, Case," there's a twinkle in his eye. "Was it really a misunderstanding."
"Of course!" She says, too quickly, standing up to meet him.
"From what I heard, it sounded like you had plenty of opportunities to deny it."
She inhales sharply. "You knew?" When he nods, she shoves his chest. "Why did you go on about guilt food when you already knew."
He laughs. "I wanted to see how long you would last."
"Look, Derek. It's not— whatever you heard, it's not— I didn't mean—" She's panicking. He's going to know she's lying like he always does, and then she's going to lose him. He's going to be sickened, and then there will be no more Derek in her life. No more of him calling her on her bullshit, and forcing her to live.
He arches one eyebrow, and she can't help but think this is the last time she's going to see him do that. "Didn't you?" His voice is quiet. This is it, this is the moment where he walks out of her life, forever. "Because I've been trying to figure it out for years."
"You knew?" Her voice is a whisper. All this time, he suspected her feelings, suspected everything she tried to deny existed.
"I've always been able to read you, Case, but you played this a lot closer to the vest." The panic sets in, her breathing shallow. "But I've been hoping."
"I'm sorr— wait, what?"
"I've been hoping that you felt the same."
Casey blinks at him. For a second, she forgets how to breathe. "What?"
"I really wish you would have said something to me first, before admitting it on the radio."
"What?"
Then, he kisses her.
...
Later, when he's reheated a plate of food, and they're sitting on the couch, her feet in his lap and his plate on her legs, Casey says, "You can't just ignore my calls to get me to go away."
"I know."
She squints at him, "I don't do casual."
He rolls his eyes, "I'm well aware, Case."
"You don't do serious."
He sighs, puts down his forks, and turns to her. "Casey, I normally don't do serious. I can, I choose not to. Before you, because I was young and I wasn't ready. Recently, because no one could compare to you. Okay? Listen, and listen good because I'm only going to say this once; I want you. I've wanted you for a long time, and I will want you a long time from now. I knew exactly what I was getting when I kissed you earlier."
She can't breathe again, but this time not from panic. "Okay," she says and thinks, that's that as Derek picks up his plate.
He pauses with his fork halfway to his mouth, "Oh, Casey?"
"Hm?"
"I'm still not holding open doors for you, and don't expect some prince charming. I'm still me."
It's her turn to roll her eyes, smiling. "I've always known you're no prince of anything, Derek."
He nods. "Good, because there will have to be a prank in retaliation for you embarrassing me on the radio."
"Derek!"
