NOT OUR DAUGHTER
(Han)
Eight months this has been going on, the Hapan Civil War, which began to involve its trading partner planets. Leia's been gone for much of it, though she came home to Coruscant every chance she got, and I've been off planet for a big chunk of it myself. I also had to start getting my trainees ready for the real thing. I've lost a few and that's been hard to take. I have to be practical with the kids (not technically kids, but they are to me), but I also have strong relationships with many of them. I've been to too many funerals and so has Leia.
It feels way too much too much like the Galactic Civil War, and I didn't enjoy that much, either.
The most frightening part of this war is that my only daughter is heavily involved in combat missions. Even when I have to be concentrating on something else, it never leaves my mind. It's like a dull headache that doesn't incapacitate you but makes life a lot harder.
My Jaina, my baby girl. Every day that she's in the fighting, her odds of being maimed or killed increase. I've always said never tell me the odds, but that was only when I had to worry about myself, which wasn't much. But then I fell in love, got married, had children. It changed my outlook forever.
I'm on a weapons run at the moment. The Falcon's carrying freight for yet another war, and yes, I'm being well paid for it. And that pisses me off way more than being stiffed.
We had a happy family life for the most part. Yes, Jacen had his issues, Leia and I often quarreled over her being away so much, and the kids had all the typical arguments that parents and teenagers have. What this war is doing to it is miserable. Anakin's working on munitions designs, which is not what he enjoys. Jacen has been taking care of Allana. He had to hire a nanny. Jarik lives with him for now and helps with his niece as much as possible. He's even slowed down on building his racer. The only comfort I take is that they're not in the thick of the fighting.
I remember the last weekend Leia and I spent alone. We went to New Chautaqua, the site of our honeymoon. We spent nearly all of our time in bed, a luxury we only rarely have. Since the war began, we don't get a lot of opportunities just to share our bed at home or on the Falcon. Even just sleeping together is a rarity right now.
Not that I sleep well. I don't. And Leia doesn't, either. We're both completely ground down.
The fact that neither of us has heard from Jaina in over a week is making the both of us very uneasy. She normally sends a secure comm at least twice a week, often more. I'm trying not to let my mind wander into the worst case scenario. I'm not a worrier by nature and discovering I can be the worst kind is unsettling.
I'm getting too old for this shit, I tell myself. My hair's a lot more grey than brown these days and my daughter in the Navy is expediting the process.
Chewie and I are flying fighter jet parts to Selab in the Hapes Cluster, a world that happens to side with Tenel Ka's position of creating a democracy. However, we'll have to fly by a lot of planets in the Cluster that are anything but hospitable towards us. With the help of Anakin, I've got some extreme shielding and stabilization that I've upgraded to. The boy's a hell of an engineer. And I'm grateful he's not in the crossfire.
Once the delivery to Selab is complete, I'm heading to Ta'aChume'Dan to join Leia for a few days. I'm not there as a representative of the GFFA, but she feels that I can help her with some of the more remote factions. I'm skeptical, but it'll be nice to sleep in the same bed with my wife even for one or two nights.
Chewie and I are about two hours out from the Fountain Palace, which features its own hangar. It could fit all of the government buildings and several residential districts in Coruscant's Capital City, which should give some sense of scale.
{Are you all right}? Chewie asks me.
"Yeah." I don't want to talk about it. It just makes it worse. "I just want this damn war to be over."
{Tell me about it}.
"It was old the first time around."
{And we were a lot younger}.
"Don't remind me."
We ride in silence till we identify ourselves and prepare to land. We're given clearance after we spend time circling; apparently there are no shortcuts even if your wife is trying to find a way to get everyone to stop shooting at each other. I don't care; security is tight in these situations.
{I'll close down the ship. Go see the princess.}
"Chewie, I don't deserve you sometimes."
{Only sometimes}?
"Thanks. I appreciate it."
The Fountain Palace is huge. Fortunately, this isn't my first time here; that time, it took four hours to find Leia. I'm handed a security holobadge to get into the most secure area where the chamber counsel meets. The entire palace is on lockdown, but I'm grateful that I've been around enough that the security sentients know who I am.
"They're about ready to break," the Thralian secretary, Nva'al informs me. "Grab a seat."
I flop myself on the sofa and throw my head back, closing my eyes.
"Nva'al, do you know if my daughter's tried to contact her mother?"
"No, not to my knowledge, but that doesn't mean she hasn't. I think she usually contacts Madam Solo directly. If she does make contact, I'll turn her to you or her immediately."
"Thanks." I close my eyes and I must've fallen asleep, because someone's shaking me awake.
"Leia!" I jump up and crush her into me, kissing her hard.
When we break our embrace, I'm struck by how weary my beloved Leia looks. Her dark circles have dark circles. She's no less beautiful, though.
"How's it going?" I ask her as we walk towards her suite.
"It's very difficult. This isn't a job for those who need instant gratification. We are making incremental progress, but it's in microincrements."
"Any chance we can have dinner together?"
"We're having dinner by ourselves. There's no way I'm going to eat another dinner with any of the delegations. I'm sick of all of them. If they killed each other and ate the remains, I'd be far too happy."
"Tell me how you really feel."
She stops for a moment and whispers in my ear. "Horny as all hells."
That's my woman.
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Lying in bed after making love, we're quiet, as we often are. This is the first time I've felt normal since...the last time we made love. I clasp Leia to my heart, loving the feel of her head against my chest.
"Han?" Leia speaks first.
"Yes?"
"Have you heard from Jaina?"
"No. She's usually much better about this. I have to say I'm worried."
"Welcome to my world."
"She's been consistent about this the entire time. I realize that there are situations where it might be impossible...but this isn't like her."
"I know." I feel like a wreck myself, but this is the time to man up and not make her any more nervous. "It'll be all right, sweetheart."
I just hope my mouth's not writing a check that my ass can't cash.
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Neither of us are very hungry, but I order dinner service to be delivered to us. Leia's lost so much weight that it looks as if her skin is just hanging on to her skeleton. I order her a decadent dessert that she loves and insist that she eat it. I order some Emera wine but she isn't interested.
"Diplomacy requires the ability to drink lots of wine, and I've had more than my share."
"No girly drinks with umbrellas?"
"Not even those." She sighs. She looks so worn and tired that all I want to do is scoop her up into my arms and carry her to our bed at home. And knowing that our daughter is safe and sound.
After dinner, we decide to soak in the spa tub her suite contains. I feel the kinks in my back and neck melting, and I hold my wife close, massaging her. Soon, we're in bed and asleep.
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It was too good to last. I hear the secure channel blast its warning siren, which in actuality isn't loud but Leia and I are always knocked a bit off course when we hear it. Sirens are not our friends.
I look at the clock. It's a few minutes before 0500. Whoever's raising us at this hour better have a good excuse for doing so.
I put in my code and a face appears. It's Jagged Fel.
"Yes?" I'm tired and I don't like the guy.
"It's Lieutenant Solo, sir. As her commanding officer - "
"Cut the crap, Fel. That's my Jaina and I'm her father. What's going on?" I feel a rush of cold sweat forming on my skin.
"Jaina has been critically injured." He looks to be near tears, but I'm not moved.
"Where is she?" I demand loudly enough that it wakes Leia.
"She's been taken to the medical facility at Gallinore, sir."
I'm getting a pretty good idea of where she was fighting. And it was bad.
"Sir, she was forced to eject when her craft was hit -"
"Bag it, Fel." I end the transmission.
"Han, what is it?"
Man up, I remind myself. It's my job to stay calm.
"Jaina is at the medical facility on Gallinore system. And from what little Fel told me, it's bad."
"No. No, not our daughter. There has to be some mistake."
"I don't think Fel's smart enough to be screwing with us. I'm leaving."
"I'm coming with you." She tosses off one of my old shirts that she likes to sleep in to the floor and searches for something comfortable. Leia's fighting tears as well; she'll probably do what she usually does and save it for when we're on the Falcon.
I hope I don't do the same.
