Bells and Bedposts
A/N: this little plot bunny hit me in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep, it gave me the giggles and now I'm pretty sure my family are on the verge of sending me to a shrink. This is a re-write of the episode bombshells, instead of taking Vicodin to deal with Cuddy's hospitalisation this happens.
A/N: I don't own the show, if I did there'd be more HUDDY love
There was still time before the operation to pull this off, if only Chase got his ass into gear already, "okay I'm ready, you sure you wanna do this House?" Chase whispered. "You do realise it took the one with the vagina less time to get ready than you did? And they're notorious for being late." House replied bouncing his cane and avoiding the question, this was a now or never deal and if he let Chase question it then he'd be sure to back out. "Come on House, Chase took forever now we're waiting on you." Thirteen's voice gave him some courage, he hired her only because she wasn't the type to be easily read but over the last couple of years, he'd started thinking of her as his little sister, they thought too much alike. Not that he'd ever tell her that though.
Knocking on Cuddy's door, the three waited for her assent before House entered. He was in there no more than two minutes when he let Chase and Thirteen in, seeing the smile on Cuddy's face Chase asked the group "should I begin?" at the groups nod of agreement he began "I guess, we are gathered here", "get to the important part" Thirteen interrupted, House chuckled at her very Housian remark, Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Fine, do you want traditional ones or make up your own?" Chase said huffily. "Um, I think maybe I wanna say my own" House said surprising everyone on the room, before he began Thirteen pulled out her phone to record the whole thing, there was no way she was going to let him get away with hiding this in Cuddy's hospital room.
"House you go first" Chase encouraged, taking a deep breath House turned to face Cuddy who had sat up, he took her hand before beginning "I Gregory House, take you, Lisa Cuddy as my forever. On good days and bad days, through baby puke and diapers, till one of us losses it and kills the other, I Love You" the group couldn't help but let out a laugh at House's idea of vows.
"Cuddy your turn" came Chases prompt, nodding with a watery smile she began, "I Lisa Cuddy, take you, Gregory House, to be my forever. In good moods and bad, through crazy stunts and extreme legal fees, until one of us snaps and kills the other, I Love you."
"Here's the ring, House" Chase said shaking his head at his bosses, "repeat after me" he prompted "with this ring I thee wed", "with this ring I am whipped" came houses reply, "Cuddy, here's yours, say 'with this ring I thee wed'", "with this ring I have you whipped". "Close enough" Chase said laughing at the couples antics, they had never had a normal relationship, there was no way they were going to have a normal wedding.
Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket as the two signed the marriage certificate, Thirteen looking wholly too innocent as she signed as witness, he checked his phone, only to see a video message from Thirteen. The little sneak had filmed the wedding and sent the video to everyone.
Entering the DDX room twenty minutes later House was surrounded by applause, looking to Chase and thirteen for answers, the smug smile he received from Thirteen said all he needed to know, he would get her back for this, but later. Much later, at the moment he just wanted his wife to be okay.
