A/N: This is what happens when I can't sleep.
BELIEVE
He picked up the Bible and brushed his thumb over the name at the bottom. Slowly he opened the drawer and laid it inside.
Just down the hall he could hear the sound of Judith laughing and the scrapping of a spoon against a bowl as Carl ate his ice cream.
The way the sounds echoed pierced his ears and made his heart clench inside his chest.
Tears stung at the corner of his eyes and he swore he heard her saying his name as he closed the drawer.
He made his way into the living room in time to see Judith slide onto the bench at the piano in the corner.
She stuck out her finger and pressed down on one of the keys, the sound louder than he rembered it.
"Don't do that, Judy," Carl whispered as he lifted his sister off of the bench.
Judy laid her head on Carl's shoulder as tears filled her own eyes.
He stood there staring at the empty space on the bench and reached out to steady himself against the wall.
He felt Carl's hand on his shoulder but he couldn't make himself turn around.
"Maybe you should go see mom," Carl said cautiously as he held out the car keys.
He nodded his head and took the keys.
A smile tugged at his lips when he saw the sunlight on her hair.
He had to stop and watch her as she arranged the flowers before she noticed him.
When she came closer he reached out and tucked a strand of her blonde behind her ear.
"What are doin' here?" she asked as she took his hand and led him over to a bench.
"Carl thought maybe I should come see you. I guess he thinks it'll help me move on."
He leaned forward with his head down.
"I don't know if I can do this," he whispered. "How am I supposed to take care of the kids when I can't even take care of myself?"
"You can take care of yourself just fine, Rick, and you can take care of the kids too. I have faith in you."
"It hurts to look at Judith, just like it hurt to look at Carl. She looks just like you, Beth."
"The hurt will fade in time. Just remember to pray. God will lead us through this just as he has led us before. He's always listening when we need him."
He snorted and shook his head. "I don't talk to God anymore. At least not without yellin'."
"Have you talked to the preacher about this?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "The preacher came by Sunday, said he missed me at the service."
"You didn't go to church?"
"No."
"Well," she placed her hand on his knee. "What did he say? Did he tell you this wasn't your fault and that sometimes people can't be together?"
"He told me Jesus loves me but I'm not sure I deserve it."
"You deserve it. You're a good man."
"I'm not the same man you married, Beth. The faithful man that you loved is nowhere to be found."
He closed his eyes and shook his head.
"Why am I tellin' you this," he whispered.
"You're tellin' me because you know I'll always listen. Things may not have gone the way we planned but I'll always be here. I'll always be here for you, Carl and Judy. I'm never that far away. But promise me somethin', promise me that you'll never say you don't deserve anything or that you don't believe anymore."
"I still believe in heaven and I'm sure you made it there but as for me without your love, girl, I don't have a prayer."
A/N: This was inspired by Alan Jackson's song "Monday Morning Church" and I hope I did it justice. I swear I should be banned from writing stories at 2 am because they always turn out sad.
If you didn't completely hate this and if you don't hate me too much for it, please leave a review.
