A/N: I don't know what this is. I write this shit at four in the morning because I can. It sucks. Enjoy it. Next story I will attempt to make it gory, if there is a next.

Disclaimer: I don't own any form of Alice. Ever.

Running a bloody hand through his wild, red hair, the tall man let out a slight sigh. Suddenly he reached up and pulled his pencil out of his ear, dragging a little blood with it. The blood also splattered onto the wooden board in front of him, but he didn't even seem to notice. After making a few marks on the wood, he placed the pencil through his ear once more and pulled a handful of nails out of his apron.

"Carpenter?"

The Carpenter looked back when he heard his name and smiled at the sight. "Alice! What brings you to Dreary Lane today?" he laughed as he turned back to his work. The man plucked his hammer off of the ground next to him as if it weighed nothing and started to pound a nail into the board. He didn't even notice as he drove the nail through his hand, although blood spurted out of the wound.

"I haven't come to your theatre to watch a show, if that's what you're thinking. Actually, I need to talk to you." Alice replied, pushing wrinkles out of her dress absently as she waited for the man to respond.

"Talk? I don't have time to talk right now, Alice! I must fix the stage! Walrus broke it during our last performance, and our next is due to start in an hour." The Carpenter explained as he continued to hammer the nail into his hand, and in turn, the board.

Alice begged, "Please, Carpenter, I don't have time for this! I need your help now!"

"Alice! I have no time! Do you not understand, you dense girl!" The Carpenter spun back around angrily and gasped when the board came with him, shooting pain through his hand. He gave his arm a shake and the board came off, tumbling to the floor. The nail remained stuck in his hand, but again the man didn't seem to notice. He was frowning at the board on the ground.

"I have no time either!" Alice cried, ignoring the incident, "There's a train ruining Wonderland, Carpenter! If I don't find a way to stop it, we're all doomed!"

"Doomed? All of us?"

When Alice nodded her head, the man just laughed and plucked the board off of the floor. He tossed it back onto the stage and began to work once again, this time carefully avoiding his hand.

"Fine! Let me help you get ready for the show. Then will you help me?" sighed Alice. Carpenter glanced back at the girl with a wide smile and nodded his head.

"What do you want me to-"Alice was cut short by a sudden surge of screaming. The Carpenter gripped his hammer and ran out to the theatre's foyer, Alice following closely behind. They both stopped at the sight in front of them.

"Walrus! What do you think you're doing?" the Carpenter cried as he watched his partner rip open one of the fish guests that would have soon become the show's audience. The Walrus sucked out the fish's guts before engulfing the entire body. As he chewed, the bones made sharp cracking noises in his mouth, utterly disgusting poor Alice. The Carpenter didn't seem revolted in the least, however.

"It's time!" the Walrus cried suddenly, blood dripping out of his mouth and pieces of bone flying onto the ground in front of him, "It's time-"

"No! No it is not time! You were supposed to wait until the show started! Now the fish will be alert you fool!" the Carpenter raged.

Alice questioned, "Are you saying you planned this from the start? Killing all of these poor, innocent fish?"

"It was time! They would have died eventually, anyway! We were on-"

"Shut your trap you goddamned fool! I'll kill you if you speak one more word!" the Carpenter lifted his hammer above his head, looking as if he planned to assault the Walrus. Alice quickly stepped forward to stop him.

"Carpenter! Now is not the time! You two are cruel, unimaginable beings, but I need you to answer my questions! I'll deal with this later!" Alice gestured toward the pile of corpses next to them that the Walrus was still feasting upon.

"Questions, Alice? What sort of questions are so important that you must interrupt me?" Carpenter spat at the girl.

"The Train! What do you know about it?"

"The train? What train?"

A loud whistle blew through the air and rumbling followed it, almost knocking the two off of their feet.

"Oh! That train! Your train, Alice!" the Carpenter laughed.

"My train? Whatever could you mean?"

"Your train, Alice! That Infernal Train is your doing! Think Alice, think!"

"I would never have created such a thing, to destroy this world that I love so dearly! It's turned you all mad, or well, madder than you were before! I had never liked you, Carpenter, but now I can't stand to even look at you! Tell me how to fix this train so everything can go back to how it was!"

"Alice, I cannot tell you how to fix the train. The train is your doing. Only you can fix it."

The rumbling was growing stronger, and another shrill whistle cut through the air. The source was approaching quickly.

"How? How can I fix it?" Alice sobbed.

"You know how, Alice. You're forgetting. Why did you forget, Alice? Why?"

"I never knew in the first place!"

"Did you start that fire, Alice?"

"Whatever could you be talking about? Fire?"

"The one that killed your family."

Again, the whistle blew. The source was ever closer. There wasn't much time before the arrival.

"What does the fire have to do with this train?"

"Everything. Yet nothing at all."

"How does that make any sense?"

"Did you kill your family, Alice?"

"I-I would never…not on purpose…"

"Did you kill your family, Alice? Did you start that fire?"

It took the girl a moment, but she shook her head before saying, "No, I don't believe I did."

" 'Atta girl! You know who did it, Alice! You must do what is necessary. Walrus and I do what is necessary every day, my dear." Carpenter gestured toward the carcass pile next to them with his injured hand. Blood was still pouring from the injury, the nail still completely embedded in his hand.

Alice held her head in her hands. "I know who did it! I'm so close! I know!"

The whistle blew again, and suddenly something was crashing through the theatre wall. Alice turned just in time to see the train heading straight toward them. Without warning, the carpenter pushed her roughly out of the passage of the train. She sank through the floor of the theatre slowly, having just enough time to see the Carpenter swing his hammer at the Infernal Train. As she fell through the floor, she heard the clang of metal-on-metal, the train whistle, and then a scream.

Of course, the Carpenter had only done what was necessary.