A/N: It's a repost of a fanfic published on Ao3 on November 19th, 2017.
It's not that long, but really fluffy and hopefully you'll like it.
I tried to toy a bit with a few ideas, like the fact that not all people are good at voiceing their feelings, as well as the iconic "I love you—I know" dialogue.
That's how this story was born.
I hope everyone is in character and stuff.
Enjoy!
Oh, and, yeah, a bunch of Star Wars references ahead, because I couldn't help myself.
(I know that there are already many fics using them, but it just makes so much sense when it comes to those characters and the time period.)
Part 1: I Know
Hawkins, August 1985
It was one of those lazy summer afternoons, when Hopper was working late, and the Byers enjoyed their "family day". That was how Will had dubbed it, and it often consisted of the family trip or some quality time spent at home. Even though there were moments when Will would prefer to meet with his friends rather than constantly be with his family, upon seeing how happy it made his mom and Jonathan, he couldn't say no. And with Dustin, Lucas and Max having a yet another adventure, accompanied by Steve Harrington (Mike was still amazed why the teenager was spending so much time with his friends), Mike and El found themselves in the Hopper's cabin, laying on the couch and watching TV.
It was El's turn to choose and she decided on rewatching the Star Wars trilogy. She had already seen it, as those had been ones of the first films Mike had showed her, but she had quickly taken a liking in the series. Mike suspected that it was mainly because there was a character who could do things like she did and overcame all obstacles to become a hero, and she probably identified with him a lot. Besides, Mike was a big fan of those films himself, so he hadn't objected. And it was always nice to just sit on the couch and stuff your mouth with popcorn, watching epic space battles on the TV screen, especially if it meant that he could be close to El.
They were currently on the Episode V. Mike still considered it as the best part, even though Dustin always defended two other films, acknowledging the importance of A New Hope in establishing that incredible world and great characters, as well as the epic victory over the Galactic Empire in Return of the Jedi. However, it wasEmpire Strikes Back that raised the stakes and showed how much of a threat the Empire really was, not to mention a really compelling love story in the background (not that Mike would admit it to his friends). That was why he couldn't help but enjoy that one the most.
They eventually reached the iconic scene of the carbonite freezing. Mike liked it, but ever since El had walked into his life and disappeared almost as quickly, watching it was… weird. He guessed the situation felt familiar, and he couldn't stop shivers from running down his spine. The princess on the screen looked nearly as helpless as he must have back then.
Mike shook his head, trying to chase away those dark thoughts. It had happened a long time ago, and El was there, with him. There was nothing to worry about. Despite that reassurance, he had to glance at her, cuddled close to him, just to make sure she's right beside him, alive and well. Thanks to that, a bewildered expression on her face didn't escape his notice.
"Love…," she echoed thoughtfully, looking away from the screen. "What's love?," she asked, her warm curious eyes locked on his face, as she carefully studied his expression.
Mike froze. It wasn't that he was surprised to hear that one particular question; he'd always known that that day would eventually come. However, he hadn't seen it coming now, as they had already watched the film, and back then El had just furrowed her eyebrows and hadn't asked any questions.
He looked away, a bit flustered, trying to come up with a bearably coherent answer, but then he remembered. "You already asked Mrs. Byers that the other day," he pointed out, eyeing her curiously.
She had, and Mike felt bad about overhearing that conversation, but there's only so much one could do, having a house as small as the Byers'. So, with El and Will's mom in the kitchen, and Will and him discussing a new campaign in the living room, he could have heard almost everything. He had hard time trying to force his heart to beat normally after getting to know about the subject that El had brought up.
"Yes." She nodded, apparently not bothered by him admitting to hearing that. She was silent for a few moments, as if waiting for his answer. Upon seeing his still puzzled expression, she sighed, grabbing and squeezing his hand lightly. "I want to know what you think," she clarified patiently.
Mike gulped, his eyes fixated back on the TV screen. However, as much as he wanted to, he could hardly register what was happening in the film right now, even though he had already known it practically by heart. His cheeks were warmer with every passing moment, as though El's close look had a magical power to make him feel even more awkward.
He was aware that she would question him further, and he could see her lips slowly parting. Luckily, he found his voice quickly enough. "Well, love…," he started hesitantly, soon stopping short. Love was an idea he could grasp, putting it into words, however, was quite a difficult task. He doubted his answer would be in any way satisfying, and somehow the fact that it was El who had asked him that in the first place made it all only more confusing.
Mike closed his eyes, looking for words that would both be easily understandable for El (at times, even despite her ever-growing vocabulary, she felt more comfortable with using the very few words she knew best) and properly convey the great meaning of that word. "Love is like… it is like a… a very big promise," he finally decided, well-aware of the importance of the word "promise" for both of them. "When there's someone you not only will do anything for, but you can't imagine your life without that person…"
"Someone more than a friend?," El inquired, tilting her head to the side.
Mike nodded, his fingers toying with her smaller ones. "Yeah. Someone very special, who makes you feel… yourself." He still avoided her eyes, afraid that his words might've sounded awfully cliché. "Who makes you feel accepted," he continued a bit shyly. "Someone who makes you feel home," he concluded, wincing nonetheless.
He had never felt particularly good about discussing anything connected with feelings. Their irrationality never ceased to confuse him and he had trouble with talking about his emotions. Because of that, he feared that the explanation he had offered El was rather simple, not really capturing the intricacies of the idea. His anxiety only grew, as she remained quiet, her expression still inquisitive, but calm nevertheless. Briefly, Mike felt like disappearing, overwhelmed by embarrassment.
However, El's soft voice was what brought his attention back to her face. "Mike." She looked intently into his eyes, reaching for his second hand, which was trembling slightly. "I love you." Even though her statement was quiet, it didn't lack any conviction. With her gaze firm, yet loving, there was no doubt that she meant exactly what she had just said.
For a moment, Mike thought his heart stopped beating and his lungs ceased to function properly. All he could do was to look into those chocolate eyes, filled with tenderness and the very same feeling she'd just expressed. He hadn't thought about it yet—well, he had, but never using the L word. It was just… so much. He was barely fourteen, and not among people understanding their emotions. He didn't feel ready for that.
He felt a lump forming in his throat. His voice was nowhere to be found, and he was afraid that his lack of response might hurt her feelings. Despite turmoil that his mind was in, he tried to come up with something to say. Well, he knew what he should say, but somehow those words seemed so big—so serious. A part of him was aware that it was exactly how he felt, and yet it managed to frighten him. It was all happening so quickly.
"El, I…" He hated how his voice was cracking. Although his mouth remained opened, no more words came out.
Mike was furious at himself. He cared about her more than he could ever put it into words, so why it was so difficult for him to actually voice it. He gritted his teeth, wanting to slap himself; maybe that would help him to gather his bearings.
However, before he could do anything, he felt a light touch of velvety fingertips on his cheek. "Mike." Once again she called his name, forcing him to look into her eyes. He could never expect that her saying his name would be so soothing and grounding, as if with that one word she was bringing him from the darkness of his mind back to reality. "I know," she stated intently, corners of her lips rising in an affectionate smile.
He stared at her incredulously for a few seconds. Her statement took him aback, and yet thanks to it he could breathe again. Although her powers were no secret to him, he still found it amazing how easily she read him sometimes, without the need to use any words. It was one of many reasons why he adored her so much.
Mike couldn't help but mirror her smile, as he slowly leaned in. Without breaking eye-contact, he closed the distance between them and kissed her gently, his arms wrapping around her. Their kiss was quick to end, but they stayed close, their foreheads touching, seemingly lost in each other.
Even though Mike still wasn't ready to voice what he felt, he knew that it would eventually happen. The day would come and he would say it.
I love you, too, El.
