If you asked Lenalee to look back in time and see what it was that built her childhood, she'd bitterly find that she could not get a clear vision past the hordes of dollar store makeup and needless worrying over absolutely nothing.
A number of things were probably at fault for ruining her image of her body and personality a young age but the young lady was just about tired of playing the blame game after all these years.
It took far too long in Lenalee Lee's life to realize that being pretty had absolutely nothing to do with your value as a human being.
Truthfully, the lie spread throughout human society was less of value, more of catching the eyes of attractive young men, but it was basically the same in the eyes of a woman.
Like men who strived their entire lives for perfect masculinity as their top priority, placing it above all else, women valued good looks and beauty more than themselves.
Woman would pervert their image and cut themselves up in order to achieve perfect beauty till even they couldn't recognise themselves.
All this effort only to be called ugly and fake by the very people they strived their entire life to impress.
In actuality, physical beauty that society demands you give your life to has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with man's ability to like you.
Truthfully, makeup and plastic surgery are intended to mimic a natural physical health that can only be found in nature. It's natural for men to desire healthy mates in hopes of creating the most strong and independent offspring.
It is natural and should not be condemned, but having said that, it is not in any way what defines one's identity or worth as a person.
It was only in highschool, her second year to be exact, that she realized how meaningless and feeble having people's attention was and how she didn't need it to feel pretty.
For so long, she fought to retain her image of the perfect child, hoping she wouldn't disappoint her peers or the classmates that looked up to her, hoping to be admired in the eyes of the most well off boys she didn't even like in hopes of having a good marriage so she at least wouldn't die alone.
It was so exhausting. She just wanted to stop with her entire being but everything told her she was being weak, that she had to please others otherwise she would be hated.
Lenalee liked to think she did a good job, and that's why she became so hated by her fellow students.
It was a Monday when it happened. Most bad things seem to happen on Mondays.
Prom was coming the next day and, as expected, the whole school was abuzz with tension and excitement for the upcoming event.
Lenalee, like most, was concerned as everyone was going, so she had to attend.
Not to mention, she was asked out by one of the most popular boys in school, Wei La Xu.
She was scheduled to pick out the perfect dress, shoes, and hairstyle with the help of her brother, but before she could do that, she had track, which was one of the very few activities she enjoyed.
Everything was normal, but she couldn't help but notice one of the girls on the other team nearing her lane. She didn't think much of it and continued to run.
She even that new Lauv song play in her head.
It was only then that the inaudible tune was cut short when something snagged her leg.
It was blurry then on but all Lenalee could recall as her face hit the concrete was a fire like pain engulfment her calve.
She only vaguely recalled seeing the rest of the girls pass her, not even caring when they saw, and she knew they saw, her hit the ground. More than anything, it became increasingly clear that someone had tripped her and the girls who had pretended to be her friend's for years didn't even bat an eyelash at it.
But before the girl could dare push herself off the ground, the next thing she knew, she was being pulled quite roughly off the track.
But not by her teachers, no, she was being forcefully yanked into the woods behind the track.
Horror filled her as she was thrown on her back to face those who did this to her.
Of course. It was Feng Huang. Wei La Xu's still bitter ex girlfriend.
Who else.
The girl only dated him for a week seven months ago and she still couldn't seem to let go. It was honestly a bit of an obsession and the whole school thought she needed help but Lenalee never thought she'd take it this far.
Feng was short, small in stature, so Lenalee knew she could take her in a fight but the cowardly brat knew this and obviously hired girls from the other team to help her.
It was only when Feng grabbed out a pair of scissors and a hammer that the sky above began to rain heavily, like the sky, like God was giving her pity in her hour of need.
Somehow, even with the blinding agony of her leg being bashed all too many times with a hammer, Lenalee still felt the dull tug on her skull as those wretched girls cut her hair.
She remembered thinking it odd how everyone always said her hair was her best feature and yet it could be cut away so easily, like it were just a figment of her childish imagination, like it never was there to begin with.
Even in the fear and trauma of that moment, Lenalee still couldn't forget the feeling of being set fear, to put that thing she spent so much time taking care of and hoping to make look just right into perspective and understanding of how little it was and how she was still the same person without it.
It was just dead string coming from her scalp. It meant very little to her.
Even when they just left her there like an animal to die, even through the pain and tears, just laying there in the middle of a forest, in the middle of a storm, she couldn't shake the feeling of being beautiful, like here in nature no one was going to judge her.
No one but God was watching. No one was watching her every move in hopes she'd live up to these impossible standards.
It was only when she passed out in the forest that she realized for the first time in a long time, she was truly free.
After a dreamless sleep, she woke up in the hospital the following day.
Of course Komui was there. Her sweet brother was always there to support her and even in her current state, she was overwhelmingly grateful to hear him say that this has no effect, that she was, is, and would always be the most beautiful girl in the world, that those wretched girls would surely get what was coming to them and that she had nothing to fear anymore.
Overall, he told her sorry one thousand times over, but more than anything, he thanked her for existing.
Of course Lenalee cried. How foul she not after all that?
Komui cried with her and they fell asleep in each others arms in that hospital room.
She wouldn't have had it any other way. She was surrounded by love and happiness. She would like to say it was like being a child again, but she never truly knew what it was to be a child.
This was what it was to feel loved, needed, and adored.
It had nothing to do with face masks or face creams. It was all about just letting herself be Lenalee.
Nothing was more beautiful than one's true and unperverted self.
That night, Lenalee waltzed with her brother to songs they used to listen to as children and the young lady found that when she closed her eyes, there were no binds, no chains, no fear.
She was a free girl.
From that day forward, she lived her life in freedom.
