I don't own That '70s Show. And this is just a little one-shot to pass the time. I suppose it can be loosely tied to two other stories of mine "April Fools" and "this is the story about shoplifting and something about a radio", but it can also just be fine on its own.
Hopefully it'll at least make you smile once or twice. :)
THE SHOWER INCIDENT
"Things with Donna had been going great!" He enthusiastically thought, cleaning out his toy light-saber. But, in the stillness of his boyhood bedroom, with none of friends around to impress or a very attractive redhead to bow down to, Eric put down the light-saber.
Okay, maybe things weren't so hot. Maybe things sort of cooled off after they started having sex. But hey, Eric could tell you, it wasn't the sex that was bad- well, maybe for him. But after they lost their virginities to one another, it sort of felt that everything fun and important had been conquered and that he and Donna were just, well, going through motions of a happy couple.
Birthdays, silly anniversaries, date-nights, all seemed so routine.
And he still enjoyed her company, but it wasn't what he'd expected. Donna, wasn't what he'd expected. Beneath her tomboy exterior and exciting green eyes was a very ambitious woman. And yes, all his friends and a blind man would know it, but he thought he knew her better than anyone else. He thought she loved him more than anything else. So, he figured she'd trade in her typewriter for an apron so he and her could settle down in Point Place. They could have a small, affordable home in a quant neighborhood, maybe a dog and a cat. Soon a couple of kids would join them.
He got to his feet, dusting off his brown pants, "I mean, isn't that what every woman wants? A family?"
But Donna wasn't interested in a family or living solely for "her" man. She still preferred reading and writing, staying up late to watch political debates, and even pondered which university to transfer to after she received her Bachelor's at UW- Harvard or Yale? She seemed so preoccupied with her ambitions, and as much as Eric enjoyed hearing her dreams and future exploits, it pained him when she would "forget" to mention him.
And when she pushed him to think of his future goals, he felt a little stupid saying, "I dunno…kids."
Her eyes had a trace of annoyance in them, "Yeah, but what about after? Then what?"
" 'Then what' what?"
She sighed, stretching her patience, "You're career, Eric."
He never really gave that much thought. So he joked, trying to hide his uncomfortableness at such a question, "Jedi Knight?"
She didn't find it very funny. In fact, she didn't even crack a smile. They watched the rest of Frank Capra's 'It's A Wonderful Life' in still silence.
Eric now walked over to his bedroom window, his hazel eyes on the house that lay beyond the red picket fence. The truth was, he thought of marriage a lot. Perhaps even more than Jackie Burkhart. But, he never had the courage to ask the girl next door to marry him. He knew she'd turn him down politely, using her career as an excuse.
Through window curtains, he could make up Donna's figure in the living room. That's how much he stared at her sometimes, he now knew every trace of her by heart.
And the more he thought about it, maybe her career wasn't the excuse for him. Maybe he was the excuse as to why she hadn't started her career yet.
Now, as much as he and her tried to deny it, they were at a crossroads. Now that they had done all the fun teenaged things that teenagers do, now what? What was left? Marriage was out of the question, so he assumed that meant kids too. He wanted some things, she didn't. She wanted other things, things in life he wasn't too crazy about. So Eric Forman asked the figure he could make out behind thin curtains, "Now what, Donna? What's left for us to do?"
#$%
Eric shot over to the house next door, running upstairs, thinking of all the times he wondered about their future- now was the time to ask! He ran into the upstairs hallway, and darted straight to her room- a place he knew by heart. He rushed to her room, but oddly enough the door was locked. Donna never locked her door, even when she was changing. It was a fact that irritated him when his friends visited her and a fact that elated him when he did. Luckily, in case she ever did lock it, she had given him a key to come in.
Now he gladly used it.
He then barged into her room, saying loudly, "Donna! We need to-to…"
He stopped, noting the hissing of the shower in her own personal bathroom. When they were thirteen, and she invited him to her room for the first time, he envied her personal bathroom. But come five odd years later, and how he grew to appreciate it. All those times they shared it together, taking those long hot showers…
"need to….uh, talk…ab-about…"
Suddenly all thoughts of marriage and future was wiped out of his seventeen year old skull, with now the blood rushing to another part of him. He found himself stripping away his sweater vest, then his buttoned blouse. Next his undershirt, his shoes, his pants and he kept going until he down to his underwear and socks, jogging over to the bathroom. He didn't even bother knocking, his hormones on super charge as he opened the door and a wave of steam hit his body.
He found himself mumbling, "Oh Donna, I love you."
He threw his socks and briefs over his shoulder with one swing, closing the door behind him. He tip-toed over to the steamy shower, wanting to surprise her and make love to her all at the same time. He stepped into the shower, noticing a very foggy figure but paying very little attention to it- until he heard her voice, singing terribly, "Dancing Queen, here's the street only you and me-"
Donna only liked one ABBA song- and that wasn't it.
And Donna didn't sing in the showers.
And that wasn't her voice.
And come to think of it, now that the blood was going back to his brain, Donna wasn't shorter than him. In fact, the only girl he knew that was this short was-
"Hell no." Escaped his trembling lips.
The girl turned around, shampoo still in her hair, "What the-" The second their eyes made contact, Jackie screamed in a high pitch voice- with Eric soon joining her.
She immediately pushed him, screeching, "Eric Forman- GET OUT!" She tried covering herself, but didn't exactly succeed. Eric, meanwhile, found himself toppling backward into the hard baby blue tiles of the shower wall, only to slip on a bar of orange soap and slide all over the floor of the tub, with Jackie screeching all the way.
With all the commotion, he didn't exactly know how he found himself on his rear, his legs sprawled apart, while Jackie jumped up and down feverishly. And then when he tried to explain, "Uh-I thought-Uh, I thought I thought-" she kneed his nose with a loud thump. Eric's next words were, "OUCH- MY NOSE! AH!"
With a trail of light blood trickling from his bruised nose, he tried crawling out of the tub, grabbing the white shower curtain for support, but the blasted rings snapped under his weight and his chin crashed with the grey tiles of the bathroom floor while he cursed loudly.
Jackie was screaming at his naked body, shouting how Hyde was going to kill him. He rolled on his back, his chin and palms throbbing. She then switched off the shower, as to get that steam to stop rolling in so she could see where the heck she was going.
Jackie had then reached for a white towel, still informing him of all the ways Hyde was going to kill him. By now, with his bruised body and ego, Eric couldn't really care less and wished that her fictional scenarios would come true so that the blasted pain would go away and he could just die already.
Jackie then threw another towel- a smaller towel- by his privates. Maybe he should've taken offense, but all he could feel was his face. That chin, and that nose, hurt so much…
Jackie finished, shampoo still stuck in her hair, "-and when my Steven gets through with you, you'd wish you were dead!"
Eric groaned, "I already do!"
He tried to sit up, desperately wanting the prickles of pain in his palms to leave him. By this time, Jackie had made her wet body out of the tub and hopped to the bathroom door, opening it, "I want you to get the hell out! Now! And you better pray that I don't tell Steven!"
Eric nodded, trying to keep his head low, trying not to take another peek at Jackie's feminine body. And then it occurred to him how exposed he was. How he must look so un-masculine compared to the men she'd been with, the other men she'd seen.
A one Michael Kelso, who's face- as Fez once put it 'was carved from marble by the angels themselves' and who's body- as Fez also put it 'was enough to set fire to igloos 'cause it was that hot.'
And then there was the zen master himself, the rugged tough guy with a troubled past- Steven Hyde.
So, to put it bluntly, Eric was pretty sure she would be mocking him later on.
As he scraped himself up off the floor, he stumbled into the bedroom area, where he fell to Donna's bed, dampening the covers. While he laid there, nursing his headache, Jackie threatened him, "And if you describe my fine, voluptuous body to anyone," she then sucked in her breath, a terrible thought crossing her mind, "-to Fez, I'll kill you myself!"
And then they both heard it- Donna's voice.
She said through the other side of the door, "I know dad, okay, yeah. Yeah, I'll have it to you by morning. Okay, yeah."
Panic flashed in both of their eyes, Eric suddenly coming alive as he jumped up with full-blown intensity. Like frightened girls, they both yelped, "Donna!"
Eric's towel fell off, and Jackie couldn't help herself from seeing him-all of him- more clearly now that the steam was dissipating. She found herself almost trying to hold in a laugh, "Is that it?" Eric found himself covering the lower half of his body with Donna's comforter, shielding himself from her judging eyes. Hissing he threw at her, "I was in water, missy! And I'm freaking out!"
She suddenly remembered, knowing how bad this was going to look. And no one knew it better than Eric Forman, as being with your girlfriend's best friend in said girlfriend's bedroom was the ultimate no-no.
The brass oval doorknob started to turn, both Eric and Jackie's mind reeling. With their lives taking a really big turning point, Eric heard Jackie shouting something frantically. It took a moment to register it, but when he did, he couldn't believe it.
She had shouted, "I'm naked!"
The doorknob stopped turning.
Jackie continued, her voice so hoarse, "I'm naked and you can't come in right now!"
The doorknob slowly turned back to its original position.
For what felt like an eternity, Jackie and Eric waited in silence for a response from the other side- none came. And then Eric whispered, "Is she still-"
Jackie, eyes narrowed and ears perked, was practically burning a hole through the door, "Shush! She's thinking."
Eric tilted his head oddly, "Wha-?"
Jackie whispered back, "She knows something's off, now shut up!"
Both Eric and Jackie waited, both too petrified to move, fearing Donna would hear the springs of the bed creak, or the sound of two heartbeats thumping in horror. Finally, a note was slid under the door. Eric crammed his neck to see it, but it was Jackie who scooped it up. It read:
Get rid of him and get dressed in fifteen minutes, I'll be back by then.
~ Donna
Eric ran over to see it, and when he did he wished he didn't. He whispered in a frightened voice, "She knows!"
Jackie hissed at him, "Know what? There's nothing to know! We-" She turned around and locked the bedroom door, finishing her sentence, "-didn't do anything!"
Eric pointed at the word 'him' in the message, whispering, "She knows!"
At this Jackie rolled her eyes, trying not to show how spooked she truly was, "You give her too much credit."
"And you don't give her enough! She wasn't born yesterday! She's not stupid! I've known her my whole life and believe you me- she knows I am 'him'!"
Jackie kicked Eric's pants toward him, remarking hotly, "Just get dressed and get out!"
Eric grabbed his pants and undershirt, marching over to Donna's walk-in closet for a bit of privacy. As he put on his clothes in the safety of the cramped space, he asked, "What're we gonna do?"
Jackie, in Donna's room, had been putting on her own clothes. She merely shrugged, trying to hide the goose-bumps all over her arms and neck, "Nothing, mainly because we didn't do anything wrong and I refused to be scared by figments of my imagination!"
As he zipped up his zipper, he couldn't refuse the urge to peek at her through the closet blinds. She had on a matching pair- a black bra to match her black underwear. She went on about trust between friends and other stuff, but at the moment he was oddly transfixed by her. She was very hot. And it puzzled him why he never really thought of it before, why he never truly saw it before.
And it disturbed him how these 'bad' feelings sort of manifested themselves into him. He felt guilty. And a little sick with himself on why he now understood why Fez preferred watching girls through closets.
They were much prettier when they had no idea you were watching them.
And that girl who was beyond his reach now, beyond his reach at school as she hung out with the jocks and cheerleaders, that girl who was his best friend's girlfriend, that girl who was so close and yet so far…he could see her in the safety of a closet. He could smell her faint aroma. He could close his eyes and almost dream of her.
"And you could stop spying on me like a perv and get out here."
Eric's eyes snapped open, realizing in horror that Jackie, now fully clothed, was staring directly at him and was only two inches away from the closet door.
Eric swung it open, trying to recollect himself, "Uh, I was- I was just, um, investigating-"
She nodded, throwing his sweater-vest and buttoned shirt at him, "Uh-huh, I bet you were, Colombo. Anyway, as I was saying, Donna probably thought I was with Steven so try not act so twitchy next time you see her- you'll tip 'er off."
Eric had now thrown on his socks and was now hopping into his shoes as he peered out the window. With a solemn face, he told her, "I don't think you're gonna be able to convince her of that."
Jackie looked almost insulted, "I'm Jackie Burkhart! I am blessed with a silver tongue that talks a lot and talks fast. I could sell sand-" As she went over, she peered out the window to see what Eric was staring at. Down below, in the Forman's driveway, Donna was talking to Hyde. Jackie's voice didn't seem so confidant as she trailed off lightly, "-to the desert…"
Down there, Donna had stopped talking to Hyde, and the pair of them starred up to Donna's bedroom window slowly. By then, both Eric and Jackie had left.
#$%
Eric sneaked back to his house through the garage, trying his best not to seem too suspicious. In fact, he didn't even want to be seen or for anyone to alert Donna to his whereabouts. But, as luck would have it…
"Hey Eric! Whatcha doin'?!"
Eric whipped his head around to see Kelso in his backyard, playing on the tire swing, licking an orange Popsicle.
Eric whispered, "Kelso! Be quiet!"
Kelso whispered back, "Okay."
Eric again whispered, "Thanks, buddy."
"Say Eric?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are we whispering?"
He made up a bogus excuse, "Um, 'cause of Red. Like, you know how he is…a hard ass."
Kelso's voice boomed, "Oh, well than in that case we can stop whispering! Red left like an hour ago- something to do with Pricemart supervisor duties and" Kelso then repeated Red's words line by line, "a bunch of dumbasses who can't do their jobs right."
Eric tried to think of something else, "And my mom! You, you know how mothers can be!"
Kelso nodded, "Yeah, but she had to go too! The hospital called about some guy gushing out blood from some car accident." He then pouted, "All the adults always get all the fun!"
Eric couldn't think of anyone else who would possibly be home that Saturday morning. Eric then searched the backyard, with Kelso looking at him strangely, "What're you looking fer, Eric?"
Eric then looked over the driveway and street, Kelso at his heels, noting no one was around. He let out a small sigh of relief- hopefully Donna and Hyde went to the HUB or something. He then looked back at Kelso who was busy chewing the little wooden tick of the Popsicle, "Listen buddy, this is super important-" Kelso listened closely, nodding, "Okay, okay, you can trust me, Eric." Eric spoke slowly, "I spent the whole morning with you."
Kelso made a face, "But that's a lie! I spent the whole morning-"
Eric cut him off, "Listen to me Kelso! THE- WHOLE- MORNING!"
Kelso nodded, eyeing him suspiciously, "Oh, alright. Have it your way, dude."
Eric waved him over to the basement, "Okay, now let's watch The Jetsons."
Kelso beamed, flicking the Popsicle handle toward the Vista Cruiser, "I love The Jetsons!"
They entered the basement, and as soon as they did, Eric wished they didn't. There, sitting on the dingy couch was a very cool Donna Pinciotti. She was watching, of all things, Love, American Style. Eric almost fainted as he yelped, "Donna! How-how-how did you get here?!"
Without looking at him, she replied, "I walked."
"Walked?"
Kelso nodded, super proud of himself, "I let 'er in!"
Eric turned toward his friend as if the latter had betrayed him, "In?"
Kelso nodded, "Yeah, I let her in. She was looking for you."
Eric lamely explained, "Well, I, um…I had spent the whole morning with Kelso-"
A firm hand gripped Eric around his small shoulders, a familiar voice telling him, "Nonsense Forman, why Kelso here spent the whole morning with me."
Eric didn't have to turn his head to know who had his arm around him- Hyde.
Eric choked out, "R-really?!"
Kelso told his friend, "Sorry Eric, but I tried to tell ya. Hyde was the one who let me in the house."
He couldn't believe it. Eric could only say four words, "Of course he was."
This was when his faithful girlfriend chose to glaze her eyes over at him, "I wanted to spend some time with you this morning, but you weren't here. Your mom told me you went over to see me so I went back to my place, but you weren't there…right?"
Eric nodded, his face looking as if he'd seen a ghost, "Right."
Hyde's grip on him tightened.
Eric could tell she knew. And Hyde knew. They both knew. And he himself knew. All three knew. The only one oblivious to the whole scenario was Kelso, who had sat in his usual chair and was now eating another Popsicle.
And Hyde's grip tightened even more.
Eric then thought of all the things Jackie had threatened him with as he lay on the bathroom floor, clutching his nose, "And my Steven will break every bone in your body!"
A while ago it seemed crazy.
Now it seemed plausible.
The only thing that kept him from spilling his guts out on the floor was Kelso. Kelso seemed so innocent of the whole venture. Somehow that gave him hope.
Hyde finally let go, laughing, "Forman, grab a beer and sit down. It is your place after all, so loosen the hell up."
Eric let out a stiff laugh, sitting stiffly next to Donna.
She leaned back into his body, and a stab of guilt sliced his belly. He was thinking of Jackie. Soft, beautiful, precious Jackie. With her dark eyes, and black hair, with her lightly tanned skin tone and delicate frame…
"Eric, what are you thinking about?"
Eric cleared his mind, telling Donna, "Um, n-nothing."
She gave him a look, "Eric, you're drooling all over my hair."
Indeed he was. He wiped his mouth childishly, sniffing in a high-pitched voice, "I-I gotta go to my room!" He darted up the stairs and away from all of them. Donna then turned toward Hyde, "What was that all about?"
Hyde shrugged, "Like I know?"
Kelso noted, "He was sure acting weird."
Hyde agreed, "Yeah, and what the hell's this business of spending the morning with you, Kelso? It's like he's covering up for something."
Donna nodded, "You think that's strange? This morning Jackie stopped me entering my own room by telling me she was naked. She's never done that, mainly because she locks the door when she takes showers."
Hyde stared at her, "What the hell's yer point?"
Kelso smirked, "Have you seen Jackie naked? Oh-oh, did the two of you have hot steamy love sessions?"
Donna ignored him and told Hyde, "The point is- that door should've been locked! Why was it unlocked this time?!"
Hyde shrugged, leaning back in his seat, "Maybe she forgot to lock it."
That made Donna laugh, "Right, and one day maybe she'll forget to talk too."
After a moment, Hyde asked Donna, "So, what'd you do?"
Donna shrugged, sipping her beer, "I left a note telling her to get her lover out of my room and for her to hurry up and get dressed. I do need my room, after all."
Hyde raised an eyebrow, "Her lover?"
Donna smirked, "Yeah, it's a game we play sometimes- telling the other one crap. Like sometimes I come home and find that she's thrown away half my clothes, calling my shirts blankets and my shoes black holes in the universe." She took another sip, "In turn I tell her outrages stuff back, like that ABBA is CRAPPA and when she orders me to do stuff I always say, 'Not now, Your Majesty.' "
Hyde shook his head, "Girls. You guys are fucking weird."
Donna pointed upstairs, "Eric is weird sometimes."
Hyde smiled at her, "Wait- he's not a girl?"
While Donna threw a pillow at him, Kelso laughed, "BURN!"
! #$%
Eric ran upstairs- convinced Donna and Hyde knew the truth of where he was that morning- in the shower, with a naked Jackie. How could he explain that it was all a mistake? And then there was the question he wasn't ready to answer just yet: Was it really a mistake?
He crashed into the living room, taking in deep breaths. Soon he reached for the telephone, dialing the Pinciotti's number. He waited impatiently, tapping his foot. His hazel eyes darted every which way, feeling the eyes of fate upon him.
Ring-Ring
Ring-Ring
"Pick up…dammit, Jackie. Pick up, pick up, pick up, pickup, pickup, pickuppickuppickup-"
She did.
"Hello?"
He'd know that voice anywhere.
"Jackie, it's me-"
Her voice switched from skeptical to downright anger, "What the hell are you doing calling me?!"
Eric cut her off, breathing hastily into the receiver, "Jackie, they know! I know they know!"
"They?"
Eric coughed, "Hyde too! Hyde knows too, and boy Jackie were you right! Hyde's gonna kill me. He's gonna break every single bone in my puny body and Donna's gonna help him do it!"
"Eric, calm down! You're scaring me!"
He was wringing his hands together feverishly, screeching in a high pitched voice, "Good! You should be scared! I'm scared right now! I'm so freaking terrified right now!"
She told him, trying to get a grip herself, "Calm down, Eric. I need you to focus!"
He started hyperventilating.
Through gritted teeth she barked, "I need you to focus!"
Eric couldn't do it. The pressure was too much, it was all too damn much. He hung up the phone with a loud thud, and was so excited he tore the wire of the phone as he yanked it and threw it across the room. And Jackie, she was so beautiful…
Guilt stabbed him again and again, his chest swelling in anguish over himself as he fell to the floor, yelling, "DAAA!"
"Edic, are you okay? You seem sick."
Eric looked up, seeing Fez coming down from the upstairs. And he couldn't stop himself, "Fez, who let you in?" That sounded so rude. But Fez, being Fez, didn't pass judgment as he smiled broadly, "Kelso, silly!"
Eric grumbled, "Of course. Everyone is at my house but me. I forgot I lived in Grand Central Station."
Fez walked over to him, shrugging, "Not everyone. Jackie is oddly absent." He then checked his watch, nodding, "She is usually here by now." He then eyed Eric suspiciously, "Unless of course she is avoiding us."
Eric's eyes widened.
Fez continued staring at him before taking a step back, "But I am sure she has another explanation." And by the time Fez left, Eric's paranoia grew as he was now convinced that the foreigner knew the truth as well.
! #$
When Jackie entered the basement, Fez was just entering as well. Seeing her brightened his mood after his odd confrontation with Eric, and he just raised his hands in joy, "Jackie! You are here!" Fez sat on the couch next to Donna, and patted the seat next to him, smiling, "I would love nothing more to be sandwiched between two of Point Places finest bodies!"
Kelso smiled bashfully before sitting next to Fez, rolling his eyes playfully, "Oh, alright buddy. Scoot over, I'll sit next to ya!"
Fez made a face while both Hyde and Donna cracked up laughing. Donna then looked up over at her friend, "Hey Jackie, got your lover-boy outta my room?"
Her face was so white.
"L-Lover…b-b-boy?"
Her and Donna locked eyes before Jackie jumped up the stairs, yelping, "Um, I-I gotta go to the restroom!"
Everyone stopped laughing. Hyde looked at Donna slowly, "She didn't get yer joke."
Kelso agreed, "She didn't stick around to talk." He then looked at his friends, "Dudes, I think Jackie's in trouble!"
Donna tilted her head, thinking, "She went to the restroom."
Fez sighed, "Oh come now Donna?! What kind of evidence is that of something strange going on? Everyone needs to go every now and then!"
Donna thought out loud, "She didn't demand that I go with her. And she always does! At the Hub, at concerts, even at the mall she demands I drag myself along just so she has someone to talk to when she reapplies her makeup..."
Hyde and Donna slowly turned toward one another. Up until Fez interrupted everything with, "Honestly Donna, that such a small bathroom, where would she put you?"
! #$
Eric lay on top of his bed, regretting his decision to jump into the shower with Donna- who was really Jackie.
And then Jackie was in his room.
Eric jumped up when she slammed the door, "What're you doing in my room?! You're not supposed to be here!"
Jackie hissed at him, "You weren't supposed to call me!"
Eric grabbed her, "Well I was scared!"
"And I'm scared too!"
They stopped, taking in a simultaneous breath. Together, they were able to calm down enough for Jackie to tell him calmly, "I think they know."
Eric nodded, "Yeah." And then he realized he was holding on to her smooth arms. Both of their eyes widened as she took in a quick breath. Being this close to Eric, she noticed something about him she never did before, he had really sweet eyes. They were so vulnerable, and so open. It was a strange trait to find in a man, well, the ones she seemed attracted to at least.
Immediately he let go, taking a step back, "Jackie…what's going on?"
"On?" she repeated stiffly, batting her eyelashes quickly, "Nothing's going on!"
He licked his lips, finally bringing himself to say it, "…between us."
She snapped at him, "There's nothing there either! Just- just stupid misunderstandings!"
He looked down like a dog being swatted across the nose with a newspaper. Maybe it was just him. Maybe it was his doubts of Donna coming to the surface. Maybe it was-
"I think me and Steven are on the verge of breaking up. He just, I dunno, it's weird. And it's tense."
He looked up, startled. And from the look on her face, she seemed surprised she admitted it too. And like a flood, she continued, "If you can even call what we have being a couple! I mean, Michael wasn't the best, but at least he admitted to being my boyfriend! Steven doesn't even admit that he loves me- if he even does! He doesn't seem to care about me and I'm beginning to feel that I'm nothing more than a booty-call or-or no better than a common whore!"
Soon tears were spilling out of her eyes as she sat at the foot of his bed, looking so ashamed with herself, "And maybe I am! I mean, oh I slept with my boyfriend's best friend! I didn't even tell him because, oh I just wanted to hurt Michael as bad as he hurt me and I was alone and Steven was there and-and what a mess I've made!"
Eric didn't know what to do. He just sat next to her, and placed an arm around her, telling her softly, "Jackie, look-"
She wiped her tears away, nodding, "My life is in shambles, Eric. My mom's in Mexico, my dad's in jail, I'm essentially homeless, an heiress with no fortune, and I'm in a loveless relationship with a boy I just hooked up with when I was on the rebound." She covered her face in her hands, "I'm such a loser."
He shook his head, "No, no you're not a loser. You were just looking for love, and that's not being a loser. That's good. Like, like no one wants to spend their life alone, and you're looking for the right person to spend it with."
"Everyone I pick is afraid of commitment."
He thought of Donna as he sighed, "Tell me about it."
She looked up at him, sniffing, "You want to know something disturbing?"
His soft eyes were on her, his arm rubbing her shoulder gently, "What?"
Her puffy eyes fell to his lower lip, as if it was beginning to be kissed by her. She found herself leaning in to him, "I think I'm starting to see what Donna sees in you."
His arm slowly pulled her closer to him, his chest tingling in excitement as he admitted, "Wanna know something more disturbing? I think I know why all the guys around school drop to your feet."
At the same time they both closed eyes as she whispered, "Why?"
His lower lip lightly grazed her upper one, and before he knew what he was doing, he had her in his arms, kissing her ever so tenderly, murmuring against her soft skin, "Because, you're an angel."
She let him take her, and it was such a delicate embrace he held her in, almost as if he didn't want to break her fragile form. And their soft pecks grew into full-blown, mouth-to-mouth kisses. He couldn't stop himself as he pushed himself on top of her, groaning as he caked her neck in love.
As for her, she said a name in that bedroom tone she never thought she'd say: "Eric,"
"Jackie-"
"No, seriously, where's Jackie?"
That voice- was coming directly outside of his room. Both froze, unable to truly comprehend what exactly was transpiring in that bedroom or in the hallway. They heard the voice again, and it was a voice Eric knew only too well.
In the hallway, outside of the restroom, were Kelso, Fez, Donna and Hyde. But while Kelso and Fez seemed only confused as to Jackie's whereabouts, Hyde seemed uneasy to Donna's growing anger. Donna faced the three guys, repeating her question, "Where is she? She's supposed to be up here, right?"
Kelso shrugged, "Don't ask me!" He looked over at Hyde, "Since her time with you she's turned into a very complicated woman and that's just scary!"
Hyde glared at him over his glasses, "Well she had to since you broke her damn heart every month like a freakin' ritual."
Fez checked the restroom before offering, "Perhaps Edic knows. His room is right there."
Hyde scrunched up his nose, "Now why the hell would Jackie see him?"
Kelso teased, "Maybe she's cheating on you like how she cheated on me." Hyde immediately pushed him, snarling, "Shutcher pie-hole!"
Donna immediately marched to his room and knocked as hard as she could, trying not to show her insecurity at the thought of her boyfriend being with best friend.
In Eric's room, Eric was panicking as he whispered to Jackie, "Get in the goddamn closet!"
She shook her head, "Are you crazy?! That's the first place they'll look!"
Eric pointed at his mattress, "Then get under the bed! Just hide!"
Donna knocked harder, "Eric, it's me! Open up!"
Fez informed her, "If Jackie is in there, he aint going to."
She ignored him, her voice starting to shake, "Eric, open-"
The door swung open to show Eric, neatly dressed and pressed. He looked so innocent as he asked, "What's going on?"
Hyde pushed passed him, shouting, "Jackie?!"
At this, Eric could feel himself shaking while he asked, "Now why would Jackie-"
Hyde pointed at him, "Cut the crap! Is she here or not?"
Eric gulped, "Not."
While Hyde looked around like a wild man, Donna found it very unusual how Eric refused to look her in the eye. She then cleared her voice, asking the boys to give her and Eric a minute alone. They complied, though it was clear Hyde really didn't want to. The second they were alone, Donna closed the door.
She then quietly stared at the neighbor boy, "So Eric, I've barely seen you all day. How are things?"
He didn't move. He didn't look at her. He stared at his loafers, shrugging, "I don't know."
She nodded, her hand grasping the door knob to his closet. At this, he looked up with terrified eyes. Donna, not smiling, told him, "I bet you don't know." She immediately yanked the door open and turned her head to see what was inside.
Only winter jackets, blankets, comics and other collectables.
She turned back to face Eric. He wasn't asking her what she was doing. He was too busy sweating, his eyes nearly popping out of his skull as he gulped, "I hear France is lovely this time of year."
She nodded, her green eyes scanning over his room quickly, "I hear that too."
She walked over to his dresser, her knuckles supporting her weight as she stared at the mirror on his dresser. As she looked at his room through it, she shrugged, "But one can never trust what they hear, now can they?"
Eric was fidgeting, his eyes keenly avoiding his bed.
At this Donna turned around, zeroing in on it, "Monster under your bed, huh?"
"Wh-What?"
Donna got to one knee, her hand grazing the cover of his mattress, "You used to be scared of monsters. And, if they aren't in your closet, then I suppose they're under you're bed." She then yanked off the covers and checked under the bed.
Nothing.
Eric, with wide eyes, yelped, "What're you doing?"
Donna stopped, realizing how badly she was terrifying him. She then took a step back, confused, "I was so sure…"
Then the two heard a knock on the door, followed by Jackie's voice, "Donna, are you in there? I need to borrow you for a second!"
Eric and Donna locked eyes, both unsure of what was going on before Donna nodded, "Okay. I'll be out in a sec."
She then looked at Eric suspiciously, "I don't know what the hell is going on here- but something's off. And I will not rest until I get to the bottom of it, got it?"
"Yes, my Strawberry shortcake." Eric said immediately and nervously.
Donna then pulled open the door, to find Jackie standing before her, dressed elegantly as usual, but high heels in hand. Donna raised an eyebrow to this, only for Jackie to wave away, "Broke my heel, can you believe it? Anyway, I need your advice on something. Wanna help?" She then flashed Donnas the most sincere smile that it made Donna's stomach construct.
Jackie was being nice to her. She only did that when she wanted something or was hiding something. Donna quickly regrouped and narrowed her eyes into slits, saying slowly, "Allllright. I'll bite. What do you want?"
"We talk downstairs." Jackie said, her eyes motioning downstairs.
Donna nodded, still disbelieving everyone around her, "Or we can talk here."
"Fine." Jackie said indifferently, turning to Eric, "You sir, must leave."
Eric blinked in surprise, "Me? It's my room!"
Jackie shook her head, "We need to discuss some things- so shoo."
Eric looked over at Jackie, wanting so desperately to ask 'what the plan was' and then back to Donna, wanting so desperately to beg her to not kick his ass. After going between them another turn, he nodded slowly, "O-kay then. I will go now."
He left, gently closing the door to his bedroom with a soft click.
As soon as he was gone, Jackie turned to Donna seriously, "We have a problem."
"The hell we do!" Donna half shouted, "Why do I get the feeling there's something going on between you and my boyfriend?"
"Because you're jealous." Jackie said flatly, "But it's alright. Almost everyone is jealous of the Jackie Burkhart!"
Donna shook her head, "Don't mess with my mosquito, I can crush you with my foot."
Jackie went on as if Donna had said nothing, "The reason I need to talk to you is because I am having second thoughts on Steven. I don't think he wants to be with me anymore."
Shaking her head, Donna said, "I don't believe you. I saw Hyde a moment ago- he loves you. He may not say it, but he doesn't have to."
Jackie tried her best to keep a disinterested face.
Donna continued, "What's really going on here, Jackie?"
Jackie then rolled her eyes, "Forget it. You wouldn't understand."
She then walked out of Eric's room, leaving Donna to doubt herself. Maybe she was wrong about Eric and Jackie? Perhaps she owed them both an apology for being stupid. And that's when something caught her eye.
She turned towards Eric window and opened it.
Odd.
It wasn't locked. Eric usually did. And what was stranger? A shiny bracelet hanging from the drainpipe. And if things could get more incriminating? Down below, the trellis was broken, as if someone had trouble getting up to Eric's room, or maybe down from it?
"I haven't used this way up in months." She mumbled to herself. She then grabbed the bracelet and ran downstairs.
Outside the Forman home, she investigated the broken trellis sight until she found what she had suspected- a broken heel. The same color as Jackie's shoes.
"Gotchu." Donna murmured.
! #$
Jackie was lying leisurely on her cot in Donna's room when Eric walked in. Both looked up in surprise.
"Eric, what're you doing here?" She asked, sitting up.
"Donna asked me here." He replied simply, "What're you doing here? I thought you'd be with Hyde by now."
Jackie grew increasingly agitated, "Donna asked me here too." Soon the door slammed shut, making them both jump. And inside with them, was Donna Pinciotti.
"Don't do that!" Eric yelped.
"I didn't even see you come in!" Jackie loudly stated, rising to her feet.
Donna shrugged lazily, "I was just waiting for Eric really." She then walked over to Jackie's drawers and made it seem as if she was taking out the bracelet that she found on the trellis, when it was really in her hand the whole time.
Jackie snapped, "What're you doing?! We agreed those were my drawers! Get your gigantic hands out of them!" She pushed Donna away, snatching her bracelet, "And if you want to wear my jewelry, all you have to do is ask!"
Donna raised her eyebrow, "So you admit it's yours?"
"Well, duh!" Jackie threw at her, clipping on her bracelet on her right wrist, only pause for a moment, as if realizing that she had already put it on that morning. As Jackie paled, Donna said slowly, "Wanna know where I found that?"
"Not really." Jackie said, her voice quaking.
"Where?" Eric dared to ask, his eyes round, his throat bulging.
"Hanging outside the drainpipe by your room, Eric." She said, turning on him, now taking a broken heel out of her pocket. She waved it in front of his face, saying like the cat who caught the canary, "Explain this broken heel to me, because I also found this on the ground outside your room. And please, also explain the bracelet, I'm dying to hear your logic."
Eric's face grew redder and redder, Jackie's mouth hung open, and Donna simply smiled. Finally Eric swallowed hard and told her, his voice trembling, "Donna, I didn't want you to find out this way, but you have."
Donna nodded, urging him to go forward and prove she was right about her theory.
"I'm a cross-dresser." He suddenly blurted.
Simultaneously Jackie shouted a sorrowful, "I'm so sorry!" while Donna jumped, "I knew it!"
After they had registered what he said though, both girl's shouted, "What the hell?!"
Eric told Donna, "I wasn't sure if I should tell you. I mean, I know we're getting married later on this year, but-"
Jackie chanced a look at Donna's shocked face, tiptoeing away from them, "I'm just gonna give you guys a second on your own."
"I'm not gay though." Eric quickly pointed out, gesturing with his hands, "But I like to wear panties and skirts… sometimes I steal stuff from Jackie because it, uh, makes me feel…" He forced himself to say it, feebly, "pretty?"
Out of the corner of her eye, Donna caught Jackie seconds away from exiting the room.
"Hold it!" She shouted, startling both Jackie and Eric.
She then pointed Jackie, "I'm not buying this garbage! This is your heel, and I just saw you wearing it today!" She then pointed at Eric, "And as for you! You get weird wearing loafers with a slight heel and now you want me to believe you walk around like Grace Kelly when my back is turned?"
"I'm more of a Rita Hayworth." Eric threw out, a bit of sarcasm in his tone.
"I'm not stupid." Donna pressed, looking at Eric instead of Jackie, her tone more serious, "What's going on?"
Jackie watched them, neither breaking eye contact with each other. And somehow she just instinctively knew- that Eric would crack. And then he did. He opened his mouth, spilling everything from that morning, from the shower with Jackie, to the sneaking around, to practically throwing her out of his bedroom window to for less detection, and how her bracelet must've slipped off during the process. At the very least, he omitted their kiss, which was something she was chalking up to a moment of weakness on both their parts.
But for the most part, all Jackie could do was watch- mortified by the recent turn of events.
When Eric wrapped up his tale, he turned to Donna, asking her, "Are-are you mad?"
Donna, whose face had almost trace of emotion in it, said with a dangerous tone to her voice, "Mad? Do I look mad to you?" And then her eyebrows twitched, along with the corners of her mouth as she turned her back to them, arms folding across her chest as her tone was now distant, "I mean… do I look mad to you?"
"Well," Eric was about to start, but Jackie hit his arm, her eyes demanding that he shut up. He then closed his mouth, and looked over to Donna who instantly turned around, screaming, "DO I LOOK MAD TO YOU?!"
"What do we do?!" Eric yelped.
"Run!" Jackie screamed, immediately sprinting out the door in her pink socks. Eric chased after her, and Donna after him. All three ran down the stairs, and right into the turquoise living room of the Pinciotti house. Coming in from the yellow kitchen was Hyde, flanked by Kelso and Fez. He said sternly, "Jackie, something's going on and-"
Jackie pushed passed him and the boys, screaming, "Not now!"
Eric tried to do the same, but Hyde stopped him, grabbing his arm, "Forman, what the hell?"
And then in crashed Donna. Fez and Kelso took one look at her, and panicked. Immediately Kelso freaked, "It's the big one!"
"Mother of Tootsie Rolls! Let us retreat!" Fez cried, him and Kelso scrambling to return to the basement of which they came.
Hyde let go of Eric, shouting, "What did you do?!"
But Eric was already in the kitchen, at the door and on his way out. Hyde chose to run after him, Donna behind them still.
As they were running to the Forman household, Hyde demanded again, "What did you do, man?!"
"I showered with Jackie!" Eric cried out, adding, "But it was an accident! I mean, yes, I really am that stupid!"
They crossed the driveway and sprinted into the kitchen, locking the sliding door behind them. Donna nearly crashed into it, and then shook the handle, pissed that she had been locked outside. Eric, now in his own kitchen, had to grab a glass of water, downing it. He then looked over at Donna, on the other side of the glass, looking deadly, and then over to Hyde, telling him, "Thanks man! She was gonna rip me apart!"
Hyde, who had his back to him, slowly turned around, "It's not her you have to worry about, man."
Eric took one look at him and gulped. He was beginning to wish he could just take back the whole day, even that kiss with Jackie in his bedroom because for him, this was all too much and was nowhere near prepared to face everyone's wrath.
Immediately, Hyde began chasing Eric who flew down to the basement where Kelso and Fez were panting, laying on the ground.
"I am so out of shape!" Fez wheezed looking at Eric cross the room with Hyde on his tail.
Kelso looked at them, shouting, "Don't open the door!"
But too late, Eric opened the basement door, and there was Donna, standing on the stairs, propped up by an elbow.
"Gah!" Eric squealed.
Donna grabbed one arm while Hyde grabbed the other.
"What's going on?!" Fez asked, getting to his feet.
"Forman has been having a fling with Jackie, that's what!" Hyde spat.
Kelso clapped joyfully, "I knew it! Hey-hey- Hyde?"
Hyde, extremely angry, glanced at Kelso. Kelso then shouted, "BURN!"
"I am not! This whole thing is just a giant mistake!" Eric panted, trying to plead with Donna, "Honey, I love you! It's just, today, in my room, I started feeling doubts about us!"
Donna twisted his arm painfully as Eric rambled quickly, "It's just that I know we're getting married, but it's not what you want! You want your career and college, and it just feels like you're marrying me out of obligation and not love! I thought maybe it was me! I'm not romantic enough! I went over to your place when I thought it was you in the shower, so that we can have some steamy, hot, lovin' and put my fears to bed… but then I found it was Jackie! I was so horrified she saw me naked! I think I ruined your shower, you can check it if you like! And I almost broke my nose too, stumbling out of it! If you don't believe me, look at my nose! It's still a little bruised!"
Slowly, both Hyde and Donna loosened their grips on Eric, examining his yellowish-looking nose, a few tiny red dots scattered on it. It looked like nothing much now, but both could tell that tomorrow it would be a deep shade of purple.
Donna then questioned Eric, a trace of believing him in her voice, "And Why wouldn't Jackie tell Hyde about this?"
Eric shook his head, "I just think she was afraid."
Hyde then let go of Eric and took a step back, cursing, "Shit."
Everyone looked at him as he told Donna, "She was afraid of me."
"How can you be so sure?" Donna asked.
Hyde took a deep breath and told them, "Ever since the whole 'get off my boyfriend' incident with Casanova over here," he gestured to Kelso, "I've been a little possessive. I dunno, I just know that I don't want to lose her. I may have set up some rules, like not to be alone with him. We were fighting over that last week; she was convinced I didn't trust her. Maybe I don't. It's just that almost everyone I ever trusted has betrayed me in some way, I-" he then shook his head, eyeing Eric, "You sure there was no fooling? This was just a terrible mistake."
Eric nodded, doing his best to sound sincere, "On Luke Skywalker's grave." He then hoped against hope that there would never be Star Wars movie with Luke's death, because he suddenly got the feeling he jinxed his most beloved film character.
"I need to find Jackie." He gruffly said, going up the stairs slowly.
Fez said finally, "Damn, this was an exciting day! Now, if the Jackie-Hyde-Kelso thing is called the 'get-off-my boyfriend' incident than from hence forth, we shall call today 'The Shower Incident'!"
Kelso breathed in deeply, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Yep, yep, yep, I've seen this happen before. My good looks, causing great divides! I'm like Batman. 'With great power comes great responsibility'."
"That's Spider-Man!" Eric instantly corrected. And then he turned to Donna, "And like Spider-Man, I too have a weakness for saucy redheads."
Donna shrugged, suddenly feeling outrageously stupid, "Let's go to my place. I still wanna talk to you."
They bid farewell to Kelso and Hyde and walked back to her bedroom in silence. Sure enough, when they got there, Donna was inspecting the shower and the torn shower cover. She even noticed a couple of now dried blood, verifying Eric's story of falling face first on the tiles.
"You need to be the cop, not Kelso." Eric told her honestly, watching her study everything, "Like, you'd seriously make a fantastic detective."
At this, she smiled slightly, "Shut up, you dink."
"You gonna arrest me?" He teased from behind her, "Imagine it, Donna. Eric Forman- Sexy Man Behind Bars. It'll be a great cable show."
She then stood up and turned to him, walking past him and into her bedroom, quipping, "Yeah right. Every episode will be you crying for your mommy." She sat on the bed, rubbing her hands, "I'm sorry, Eric. I guess I'm like Hyde and get jealous."
He sat next to her, shrugging, "We should've told you guys. But, we panicked. I am the one who should be sorry Donna. And do not worry your pretty, little, red-head off. From this moment forward, the truth and nothing but the truth!"
Donna nodded, "Good." She then turned to him, "So be honest, did you find her hot?"
Eric's face twitched. He then made an inhuman noise in the back of his throat as he glanced at his wristwatch, "Ah! Look at the time! I have to go!"
Donna narrowed her eyes, "Eric- answer me."
He then jumped to his feet, already out the door, "I have to, um, do my Rita Heyworth impression!"
And in seconds, he was running downstairs, with Donna chasing after him.
