A/N: My second entry for the 'Who, what, when' challenge by Smuffly. I'm back! I've been away due to injury and RL issues but I finally found the time to write this. My challenge was to get Sheldon Hawkes, a funfair/pier and keys together in a fic. I took a very unusual approach to it, something very unorthodox but I hope you all enjoy where the story will take you. It has a touch of the supernatural but not too much. It happens mostly in Hawkes' head. Interested? Read on :D

Characters: Det./Dr. Sheldon Hawkes and the rest of the CSI:NY cast.

Set: After season 7

Rating: T

Warnings: Mentions of drugs, heavily references hallucinations and all in all, this is a very interesting look at what happens when one hallucinates.

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own CSI NY or affiliates. I'm using the characters to no profit.


Trippin'


"Doc, c'mon, stay with me man. Hawkes! Hawkes, don't pass out…"

"What the hell happened?"

"Sheldon stepped on a booby trap. It was full of…."


He woke up with an unpleasant thump.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes opened his eyes to see a sky the colour of his favourite indulgence – grape soda. He squinted. It looked fizzy too. Weird. He had never seen such a phenomenon. He sat up and upon seeing his surroundings, reached for the gun he was sure he had holstered on his hip. He, Flack, and Danny had just been going after a dangerous murder suspect…

It wasn't there.

He felt uneasy. He couldn't be awake. This couldn't be real.

The sight before him was incredible. It was like he was in a cleaner, more brilliant version of Coney Island. A massive funfair full of lights was a bright shiny lure, probing at his curiosity. There was one thing wrong.

It was oddly silent.

A functional funfair teemed with noise. Not so here.

"Am I dreaming?" Sheldon wondered aloud.

"Not quite," a calm voice to the side of him murmured.

He turned and let out a cry of surprise. A set of three keys was hovering in the air three feet from him, pulsing with an ethereal white light. It bobbed a little closer and whispered in a voice that reminded him of his grandmother – even that was distorted. It wasn't as raspy as hers had been and not quite feminine either.

"Where am I?" he asked.

"You stepped on a booby trapped floorboard when going after a suspect," the keys replied.

"And….?"

"I'm just your conscience. I don't know, I blacked out the same time you did." There was a semi mocking tone to the keys and it rankled. Hawkes picked himself up, noticing that the keys rose with him.

"Can you take another form or…?" Sheldon asked quietly, unnerved by seeing a set of keys of all things hovering beside him.

The white light pulsed as the voice emanated from the keys. "I am a form of your conscience. That's because you believe that there is always a core, or key, to everything in life. There is a purpose, or motive, and once you find that, you unlock everything."

Being confronted with how he thought, deep down inside, was discomforting for the CSI. He instead focused on the funfair again. He stepped forward towards the gate and fought the urge to ask questions. He questioned everything. To not do so here felt restraining, but if the keys were right, then there was nothing more they could tell him. "Can I call you something other than 'keys?'" Sheldon asked instead.

The object seemed to bob in thought before replying, "Glow."

"Glow. Right. Okay then."

They were in front of the gates now. Hawkes couldn't repress the next question on his lips. "What do you think happens if we go in?"

If a glowing set of keys could shrug, they did. "If we don't, we just stay here looking on until you wake up from unconsciousness. If we do, nothing bad happens. That much I know."

Sheldon laid his hands on the clasp to unlock the gate. Go in and satiate his curiosity or stay here in the known and never know what this funfair brought him? He looked at the keys, revolving slowly on their own as the white light continued to ebb and brighten again.

He made his decision.


"Sheldon, can you hear me? Sheldon, can you hear…"

"Liquid LSD…anyone know he was allergic? What's gonna…"

"…flickering rapidly. Must be dreaming or something…"


If the funfair was silent when looking at it, the second Sheldon stepped in, it was like someone turned the volume up and activated all switches. There was carnival music playing softly in the background, clattering of a roller-coaster, the beeping and whistles of the attractions that lined the walkway he stood on.

"Is this really my conscious?"

"No. Whatever you stepped on threw how you order your brain into disorganisation. This is just a distraction until you get better," Glow replied.

"And you know this-"

"Because I'm your conscious as well as your conscience. And no, I won't tell you how you order it because you know already," the keys replied in a way that reminded him of Mac. That same challenging tone that wasn't reproachful but encouraging.

Sheldon shrugged. "Hey, while I'm here I might as well explore."

He walked over to the nearest stall and he smiled. It was one of those old school clown head attractions where you had to stuff ping pong balls down the open mouths to score points and win a prize. Only instead of traditional clown heads it was a likeness of Danny Messer in clown makeup. And behind the stall, looking like Dick Van Dyke in the picture scene of Mary Poppins was the man himself.

"Roll up, roll up, come and take your chance at scorin' a prize!" Danny rattled off like a pro, twirling a shiny black cane in his hands. He pointed it at Hawkes as he came closer and drawled, "What about you buddy?"

Sheldon grinned. "Now I know what you would have done if you hadn't become a CSI."

"Oooh, harsh doc," Danny teased back. "But you gotta admit, once I turn on that charm I'm irresistible, eh? I'd have kids and their parents lines up from here to the other side of the fair."

"Of course," replied Hawkes. He murmured to himself, "When in Rome…" He then beckoned to Danny and said, "I'd like to have a go."

Seemingly coming out of nowhere from Danny's white gloved hand were four ping pong balls. Stepping up to the nearest clown head, Sheldon couldn't help chuckling. "I'm putting balls in-"

Danny rolled his eyes and lightly tapped the back of his friend's hand with the cane. "Watch it, I've heard that one before. Flack says it every time."

Hawkes frowned, confused. "Flack is here too?" he questioned.

Danny laughed, "You kiddin'? We're all here. The whole team and a few extras. But mainly us, yeah. You live and breathe work, doc."

Putting a 'so sue me' expression on his face, Sheldon fed the ping pong balls into the clown slot and scored high. He turned expectantly to Danny who handed over a glittering voucher that clashed violently against the red and white pinstripe suit he was wearing. "There ya go. Your prize is a meal voucher at the stalls," he smirked.

Sheldon raised an eyebrow and demanded, "That's it?"

"Hey, it's your head Hawkes. I don't make the rules here," Danny defended with raised hands.

"Huh. Guess I'll see you then?"

"When you wake, yeah."

Waving goodbye, Hawkes kept walking until he smelt food. He sniffed and Glow beside him confirmed, "Yes, we're on the right way to the food stalls."

"Glad to know at least you kind of know where we're going. I'm freaked out at the fact Danny is in my head and talking to me like we do in real life," Sheldon said.

Glow twirled and bobbed as it answered, "Why not? Your colleagues are some of the people you're closest to. Why wouldn't they be here? You care about them, they care about you. Perfect sense."

"Says the set of glowing keys."

"Says the man talking to the set of glowing keys," Glow replied.

"Touché," replied Sheldon with a wry smile.

They turned a corner and there was a big shiny food truck. When he recognised the person standing behind the counter in an apron, Hawkes' smile returned and he eagerly went up to the window to see his first mentor. "Sid! Hey!" he called out in greeting.

Sid smiled in return, putting his trademark glasses on by clicking them together. He reached out and shook his protégée's hand and warmly said, "I'm glad to see you here Sheldon. Enjoying yourself? I must admit, this is a fascinating place to be. A lot of things don't make sense but if life has told me anything, it's to just go with it. It can't be bad if you're here, right?"

"I'm not bad, considering I'm kind of flying by the seat of my pants now," he replied. "What are you doing?"

Sid's eyes lit up with glee. "I'm actually doing the catering for the funfair. I haven't been so involved in my cookery for such a long time I'm actually getting a little nostalgic in having a fully equipped kitchen. I have so many gadgets here. Needless to say, I'm having fun."

Sheldon could definitely see that. It was exactly like when Sid invited him and other guests over to dinner at his place – one of the things Sid loved the most was cooking and pleasing everyone with his culinary knowledge. "What are you making right now?" he asked.

"Chorizo and beef burgers with roasted capsicum, spinach and basil aioli," the ME replied cheerfully, spinning around and grabbing a package off the bench behind him. He then passed it to Hawkes. "Here, you enjoy it. The next batch won't be out for another ten minutes and Don and Danny keep coming over and eating me out of my stocks. I must remember to invite them over to dinner…"

As Sid trailed off in thought, Sheldon turned to Glow. "I even eat in my conscious. I don't think I'm going to stop being surprised."

"No, probably not."

After eating and chatting idly with Sid, Sheldon decided it was time to move on. Before he left, Sid advised, "You'll probably see Lindsay next. She's amazing to watch really."

"What do you mean-?" Sheldon began to ask but then decided to let himself be surprised. He went down another row of empty stalls when he came out to an area without any. Instead, there was a circular rubber barrier enclosing a large pool of foam. In the middle of the foam was a mechanical bucking bull. And riding that bull was none other than Lindsay Messer.

"Hey Sheldon!" she called out, looking more carefree than he had ever seen the usually knowledge driven woman. She was riding the bull with ease, flowing with the harsh, jerking movements – one hand grasped the strap in an iron fist while the other hand was flung out wide for balance, cowgirl hat in hand. A massive grin was on her face, making her look more youthful than ever. Hawkes wondered why this Lindsay never showed her face often because it was a good look on her.

"Hey Montana," he replied, referencing her old nickname.

The bull stopped then and she gracefully dismounted and came over to him. She chuckled, "It fits this time." She pointed down to her traditional cowgirl attire with the grey plaid shirt and jeans that were tucked into boots.

"You do that often?" he asked, nodding towards the bull.

"In real life? Once a month Danny takes me to a place in Brooklyn during happy hour. It's great fun because I always outlast him," Lindsay replied. She then turned to the set of keys in the air. "Hey Glow," she said.

Sheldon blinked in surprise. "You can see Glow? The others didn't take any notice," he observed.

Lindsay shrugged. "Well, I did see those ghosts in Central Park the night we were searching for evidence about a year back. So I guess that explains it," she answered as she gently poked at Glow, whose keys clinked together as if laughing.

"Linds…since you see Glow, could you tell me a little more of what's going on?"

"What would be the fun in that?" she responded with a knowing smile. "No, I think while you're here you should keep going. I'm not the halfway mark though. You've still got a few more to see."

Sheldon took a deep breath. While this was interesting, there was a rising impatience. When would he get out of here?

Sensing this, Lindsay's bright expression was replaced by concern. "Don't worry Sheldon. You'll be out of here in no time."

"I hope so too."


"It's been 10 hours…what if…."

"Any change?"

"Swap shifts…who's available?"

"Come on doc, wake up."


Walking on from Lindsay, Hawkes noticed a stall that was very different from the customary funfair stalls. It was shaped like a UFO spaceship and was muted silver and blue. Very space age. He had a feeling about who it was before he even saw him. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw his favourite lab tech, Adam, standing in the centre of the space with a set of technological glasses that wrapped around his head. Very 90's virtual gaming.

Adam then smiled and took the goggles off. "Hey doc! How're you?"

"Awesome," Sheldon deadpanned.

"Oh, awesome," Adam said blithely. He then swept his hand outwards towards the stall. "Thanks for this buddy. All my dreams have come true. I have consoles from the first Nintendo and the plug in thingys for TV's to the newest Xbox 720 that hasn't even been released yet! Man, I'm in heaven. I am having the best fun. Wanna join me?" the younger man rambled happily.

Shaking his head but favouring him with an indulgent smile, Hawkes replied, "No, thanks. You have fun."

Some of the joy dimmed. "Wanna get through here as quick as possible huh?" Adam asked with a dejected tone.

A thread of guilt passed through the CSI. "Tell you what, we'll do Guitar Hero this Saturday night if you got nothing going on," he offered.

And just like that, Adam was as happy as a puppy with a bone. "Thanks man, I need someone to play with who might give me a challenge."

Moving on, Glow asked, "You going to do that in real life?"

"I think I will. Haven't really paid much attention to him lately. Something tells me I should," Sheldon answered firmly.

"Hmm. Wise choice," Glow murmured cryptically.

They went on until they spotted a navy blue stall with white lettering above it proclaiming, "Can you match the master of wits? Challenge the Snark-o-meter." Sitting back in a chair with his trademark smirk was Don Flack, in jeans and button up with sleeves rolled up, his usual detective wear nowadays. As Hawkes approached, he teased, "Oh, this should be easy."

"As if I'm ever going to go up against you Don," Sheldon replied easily. "I know you too well to match wits."

"Smart. Not as smart as a few others who have tried," Flack said cheekily. "Having fun having a holiday in your own head? Tell ya what, I never want what happened to you to happen to me. Something tells me that there won't be as much fun and games as there is around here." He mentioned to the stall. "Although, I was a bit surprised. It's totally against your character, this set up. But hey, I'm not gonna complain. I got Sid feeding me and everyone else to talk with."

"Pranking them?"

"Prank, me?" Flack replied innocently, but that twinkle in his eyes gave him away. "I've been having fun giving Danny hell. And whenever I'm bored here, I go see Adam and have a few rounds of Need for Speed with him."

"He beat you?" wondered Hawkes.

"Not always. The kid is good, but I take risks," Don replied. He looked very satisfied with himself as he said that.

Seeing as he got some information out of others, Sheldon thought to take a chance. "Can you tell me anything about what I should avoid?"

Don grimaced then. "When you reach the fork in the road, Jo is going to tell you that you have a choice. Wither the path of regret or the love boat." He paused and Sheldon barely detected the moment the friendly, sarcastic Don shut off. "I chose the second one and then I wished I had chosen the other one instead, so make sure you pick carefully."

Hawkes nodded in appreciation. "Thanks Flack. Catch you later."

"See ya," the detective farewelled.

Glow said after they left, "Have the pieces clicked why he said that?"

Sheldon thought for a moment and then realised. "Angell," he whispered. Flack must have been reminded painfully of his romance with the late female detective who sadly passed a few years ago.

Too soon, Glow and Sheldon came to a fork in the road – and just like Don had foretold Jo was there behind a podium, smiling at him in her usual warm way. Ever since her arrival at the lab last year everyone felt comfortable around her and Hawkes was no different. When he got closer, she came around and hugged him. "You've got us worried sick you know," she murmured. "You can't help it though."

Returning the embrace, Hawkes stepped back and asked, "I have to make a choice here don't I?"

"Don't have to. But if you want to see what else this place has then you'll have to in order to pass," the native Southerner informed him. "So, it's either the path of regret or the love boat, but be warned, sometimes they can be exactly the opposite. You have to weigh up your regrets against the loves in your life."

Her green hazel eyes were serious and Hawkes realised just how important this was in his imagination.

He knew what the path of regret would hold. His parents, that they didn't live to see him achieve what he did. His sister, who he had cut all ties from and was dead before he knew that she was turning her life around. The patients that he had lost on the operating table as a doctor. The friends that had betrayed him. No, he knew that would be a heavier path to tread. Without hesitation, he replied, "The love boat."

Jo inclined her head and with a jangle of her bracelets, she clicked.

The world seemed to swirl around him and then stopped. The landscape changed. Jo was still before him but next to him with a rowboat in a channel of clear water.

"Whoa," he muttered, feeling dizzy.

"I'll never underestimate your imagination again," Jo chuckled.

Gingerly, Sheldon lowered himself into the boat, Glow following his movements and coming to hover just above his chest.

"Have fun, and remember that you'll be out of here soon," the older woman reminded him soothingly.

Of its own accord, the boat moved down the channel and through a landscape that was reminiscent of central park. Hills, trees. A marked change from the funfair. Hawkes was tempted to pinch himself but knew somehow that it wouldn't work. "This keeps getting odder and odder," he said to Glow.

"Considering that you've seen some weird things in your line of work, it really isn't. It's really just imagination going haywire with impossibilities and making them real…at least in your head," the keys pulsed.

"Now I feel like I'm going crazy."

"That was just whatever got into your system. Unlikely this'll happen again."

Sheldon said nothing, for ahead just after the bend in the water channel was a tunnel. He steeled himself for what he was about to see. When the darkness enveloped him, the only thing he could make out was the white light from Glow. Then, the darkness flickered with yellow light and it was like he was watching his life on film. His first love, his crush at 11 was a little Japanese girl at his school he had science with. He remembered her name easily. Chiyo Hiromi. Her name meant 'a thousand sparkles' so he had made her a childlike picture of her with lots of glitter on it. He smiled in memory. They had remained great friends all through high school too, although he no longer had that crush on her. Then, a few girlfriends in high school. One who was with him just to get good grades and the other who was really there when he needed some human contact after studying all hours to get amazing grades for medical school.

As the montage entered into his adult years, he saw his first true love. Kara. They had been so in love, living together, and so serious about each other. He felt some resolve crumble as he saw one of his worst memories. They day he came home from surgery and found his beautiful girlfriend beaten and sexually assaulted. It had changed his life, and hers. They drifted apart no matter how hard they tried to patch up the cracks. Sheldon hung his head in remembered pain at how much he wanted his love to fix her. At least she had a good life now and was stronger than ever since her rapist had been caught by Stella. Next, he saw the string of flings he had – again searching for human contact in the middle of a world ruled by the corpses that passed through his morgue. Then, when he graduated to CSI he slowed down. The next girlfriend he went steady with for a year and then found out she was cheating.

He had a dry spell after that. Hawkes blinked in surprise when the next picture that flashed was that of Camille, his current girlfriend. He smiled. As much as she had gotten him into trouble in the early days of their relationship, she brought zest to his life. Everything was fresh and new with her around. She was honest about everything. Perfect, in his opinion.

"Not a bad run," Glow remarked.

"Yeah," murmured Sheldon, reflecting that others like Mac and Flack had gone through worse than he had. He was glad he had chosen this instead of the path of regrets. This had been easier to stomach.

The boat came out into park land again.

Standing beside the channel was the unmistakable form of his boss, Mac Taylor.

Clambering out of the boat, Sheldon asked, "All right, what's next for me?"

Mac did that little cryptic smile he did when he had just figured out evidence before everyone else. "Nothing. We've run out of time."

Sheldon couldn't help but feel disappointed. "Really? I thought we'd at least share some kind of enlightening chat like I have with everyone else."

Mac chuckled. "Sheldon, we have them in real life. Who says it has to be confined to the unconscious?" he asked.

Hawkes rubbed his temple, suddenly exhausted. "This doesn't make sense," he complained.

"Things don't have to make sense sometimes," Mac pointed out. He then glanced behind him. "It's time. Time to come back to the land of the living."

"How?"

The older man held out his hand and Glow floated along until over Mac's hand. "The keys to your freedom," Mac answered and carefully closed his hand over the pulsing set of keys. There was an odd sensation in Sheldon's gut, as if he was being pulled backwards and upwards by a massive hook and white light shone out of Mac's hand and enveloped all of his vision.


"Mac, look!"

Mac turned from his post at the window in the hospital window to see Hawkes struggling to wake. Flack, who had been flipping through a baseball magazine, was already up and at their ill friend's side. He copied the motions as they watched Sheldon thrash slightly.

Then the brown eyes popped open, startling both men.

"Ow, light," grumbled Sheldon.

Mac instantly batted away the lamp that was focused on the bed. Relief poured over him. He always worried like crazy when one of his team was injured. "How are you feeling?" he asked softly.

Sheldon blinked and grimaced. "Really weird. What happened?"

Flack filled in the blanks for him. "While we were looking for the suspect you stumbled on his happy little booby trap of a syringe full of LSD. What we didn't know was that you have an allergic reaction to the stuff apparently so not only did you hallucinate, your body went into shut down mode," he said. "Freaked us all out Shel."

Comprehension dawned on Hawkes. "So this whole time, I was hallucinating?"

"Trippin' out of your mind," confirmed the taller detective.

"Why? What did you see?" Mac inquired.

Sheldon was silent for a few moments. "You wouldn't believe me," he said.

Mac had a curious look in his eyes and replied with, "Try us. We've got time."

Looking back and forth between them, Sheldon tossed up the pros and cons. With a shrug, he decided that if nothing else, it would keep them entertained.


A/N: Yay it's done! What did you all think? Yes, it's abstract and definitely something different, but I had so much fun writing it. Reviews are always wonderful and appreciated.