AN: This just got stuck in my head a while ago after reading someone's fan fiction (I have no idea whose) and I had some spare time so I decided to get this written down and done with. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn because if I did, Brow Nie Jr would have appeared a lot more (just for the sake of his name).


The Logic of a Carnivore

By autumnflame

Hibari sat on the rooftop, looking down at the school grounds below him – as usual.

Hibird was circling above, singing the Namimori Middle School Anthem and being its normal fluffy yellow self – as usual.

The Head of the Disciplinary Council was at peace. There were no herbivores crowding together and partaking in herbivorous action. Furthermore, the idiotic pineapple wasn't here nor any of his equally idiotic followers/friends. Everything was in its place.

That is, apart from the piece of paper lying on the ground next to him, pinned down by his tonfas. The tonfa-wielding prefect glared at the seemingly harmless sheet of paper, possibly hoping that under such intense pressure it would vaporise. But according to real-world logic, you either needed magic or fire. And everyone knows that magic is for herbivores. He had considered 'biting it to death' but he did, in fact, have enough dignity to not do so.

Considering how much Hibari believed in the food chain and carnivore-eat-herbivore system, one would expect him to know a fair bit about Biology. Ironically, he had failed his latest Biology test, the evidence contained in the singular piece of paper that was threatening to be blown away by the breeze that was constantly tugging at it. The prefect narrowed his eyes slightly, if that test flew away and landed in some herbivore's hands, he would hunt them down. A disturbing thought flashed through his head, 'what if the pineapple head found it?' Pushing that thought aside, he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall once again.

In all technicalities, Hibari shouldn't have failed the test. It's just that the teachers had a different view on the world of animals. He says the octopus-head is a herbivore, they say a squirrel is a herbivore, same thing. But, really, he should have gotten Question 11 right, as well as Questions 7, 9, 20, and let's not forget 29.


Question 11
Name a herbivore, detrivore, omnivore and carnivore. Explain how they may affect each other in an ecosystem. (2 marks)

Answer:
Herbivore: Tuna
Carnivore: Me
Omnivore: The baby
Detrivore: Do not exist

The carnivore bites the herbivores and omnivores to death and the carnivores will rule the world.

Teacher's Comment: I don't think you have quite grasped the main point of the question, Hibari-san.


For some strange reason, his Biology teacher didn't seem to understand that one day, carnivores would indeed rule the world. It made perfect sense, just as much as 'biting people to death' did. Obviously, the teachers weren't competent enough to be teaching at the school, if they couldn't understand such simple logic.

~END~


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