Chapter 1: Hasta la vista, baby
Friggin' witches and their friggin' bad breath. I swear I can almost taste the deep fried newts that she must've eaten earlier that day. It's sick man, just sick. I resist the urge to gag, then throw a left hook punch hitting her square in the jaw, sending her sprawling. She then makes a grab for my throat but I manage to then kick her, sending her smashing through the window. Hasta la vista, baby. I guess you could say that whole no hitting women rule flew out the window.
"Man, I'm hilarious. Ya hear that Sammy? I should just give up huntin' and become a comedian." I say, smiling proudly to myself. My smile soon turns in to a frown though as I don't hear Sam making any kind of witty remark. Not even a "Whatever you say, Dean' or 'Shut up, Dean' or 'Cas makes better jokes than you, Dean'.
"Sammy?" I question, eyebrows raised slightly as I look around the empty room. Son of a bitch."Sam!?"
I storm outside in to the 'garden' (friggin' jungle if you ask me) and right smack-bang in the middle is the fountain of youth. Yup, you heard me right, the fountain of youth. Sounds kind of ominous to be honest. I bet you're asking yourself, hey, are you going to use the fountain? Ha, good one. No way josé. I'm as gorgeous and youthful enough as it is. My skin's smoother than a baby's...yeah, so not going there. Anyway, the one who really needs it is Sam, I swear to God I noticed a grey hair on that guy yesterday, I'm not even kidding. I've always suspected he was an old man in a young dude's body. A serious 'benjamin button' case you got there.
I abruptly stop mid-thought as I notice the old...well, now the young hag holding Sam's head under the fountain's water. "Son of a bitch...you let 'im go, ya hear?!" I yell before grabbing on to the back of her shirt, pulling her off of him and on to the ground. I then manage to drag Sam out of the icy water before the witch yanks me backwards by my amulet.
"Christ!" I choke as I search my jacket's pocket for my knife. Finally, I find it and spin on my heel, stabbing her clean through the neck. Her body flops on to the ground in a pool of dark blood, her lifeless eyes staring up at the night's sky. "Now that's...that's just plain nasty." I mutter under my breath, looking at the body with a look of disgust. Damn witches.
When I turn around, what I see makes my breath catch in my throat. "...Sam?" All I see is a pile of his clothes and some sort of creature...(please not a dog, please not a dog) squirming around from underneath them. I think the real question here is, if Sam's clothes are on the floor...does that mean Sam's running around buck naked?
I take a tentative step towards the pile and almost jump out of my skin as a baby tumbles out. "What the...?" What was a baby doing...oh... oh ...oh crap.
"Sammy?"
The baby looks up at me, it's lower lip trembling before he bursts in to tears. I quickly run over to Sam and pick him up, cradling him in my arms. Yeah, yeah...sappy, I know...but he's my brother, okay?
Out of habit I start to hum some Metallica as an attempt to calm him down. Funnily enough, it eventually works. When he stops crying altogether, I can't help but say "Who's a good boy? You are! Yes, you are." But let's forget that the baby talking ever happened, alright? I mean, he's technically my twenty seven year old brother. It totally didn't happen. Ahem...right, on with the story.
"Dammit, Sammy. What've ya gotten yourself in to this time?" I sigh, letting Sam's head rest on my shoulder as he drifts off in to a light sleep. He looks to be old enough to be maybe 2 years old? I groan and reach for the phone in my pocket whilst adjusting Sammy in to a more comfortable position. This was so messed up.
I dial Bobby's number, waiting for the onslaught of insults he'd be sending my way in just a few seconds.
"Hey, Bobby."
"...Dean? You two manage to finish the hunt in the end?"
"Yeah...about that..."
"What did ya two idjits do this time?"
"Well, Sam...he's kind of...how do I put this?"
"What did you do to your brother, Dean?"
"Me?! What? I didn't do anythin'. It was the friggin' witch."
"Go on."
"He's a baby."
"You called me up just to insult Sam?"
"No, he's literally a baby, Bobby!"
"..."
"Say something!"
"Is this a joke?"
"God dammit, no!"
"Balls."
"What do I do, Bobby?"
"This is way out of both of our leagues...just...just go back to your motel room, okay? Baby proof the place and look after your damn brother. I'll call ya back when I figure something out."
"Thanks, Bobby."
"Idjit."
I was about to retort with some witty comeback but by the time I'd thought of something, he'd already hung up. "Great, just great. You and your bad luck." I say, shaking my head.
Walking back to the motel room, I stop mid-step as I hear rustling behind me and spin on my heel to face whoever...whatever it was.
"Dean."
I could've recognized that voice anywhere. "Cas? Jesus, man. How many times have I told ya not to do that?!"
"I apologize Dean, it will not happen again."
"Right, well...that's okay then I guess." I reply, feeling awkward under his gaze.
Cas tilts his head and looks at Sam strangely. "What's wrong with Sam?"
"How did you know...? Never mind. Some damn witch dunked him in some magic fountain water, blah blah blah, now he's a dribbling mess."
"He doesn't appear to be dribbling."
"It's a...ugh, forget about it. I just need to get 'im back to the motel room until I can figure something out...or until Bobby does, whichever comes first."
"I'll accompany you."
"You don't need to, it's nothin' I can't handle."
"I did not say that. I just wish to accompany you to the motel room."
"...Fine. Fine. But no angel zap-"
Before I could finish my sentence, Cas had already used his angel mojo to do exactly what I didn't want him to do.
"-ping." I finished, just in time for Sam to puke all over my jacket.
Notes: That was the first chapter, woohoo! If you liked it or had any criticisms, please share them with me and comment/favourite it, whatever you like! I'd really like to know whether I should continue writing this story.
