Postscripts: Barge Of The Dead

Another Five Minute Voyager Squigglet courtesy of TaTTooGaL

B'Elanna returns from the harrowing experience of the Klingon underworld and wakes up in sickbay. She looks around her and sees Paris, Janeway and the Doctor.

B'Elanna:I'm alive! *she gives Janeway a hug*

Paris: Hey! What about me?? I'm your boyfriend, remember?? I want a hug too!!

Janeway lets go of B'Elanna and hugs Paris

Paris: Uggh!! No!! Not you! *rolls eyes* Oh please, did you really think that silly fling we had in Threshold actually meant something? I just picked you, because between you and 'Lanna, you weigh less!

Torres lets out a low, dangerous growl, and looks like she wishes she had that bat'leth she just tossed into the ocean.

Paris: (realising belatedly that he has just mortally insulted his girlfriend who's just been on a trip to hell and back) Erm, I mean, um...you were in the wrong place at the wrong time! That's it... *placating look to 'Lanna* Really. I'm sure you weigh a lot less than her...

Janeway: What?? *pins Paris with a level-15 Death glare* Take it back!!

Paris: (realising belatedly that he has just mortally insulted his captain who will *send* him on a trip to hell and back) Erm, I mean, um... that the two of you weigh the same! And it's a lot less than what, uh, Seven weighs! She probably weighs more than the two of you put together!

(From Behind)Seven's voice: I beg your pardon, Lieutenant?

Paris: (with an uh-oh look on his face) Seven?

Seven: In case you were wondering, I've been standing here for the last five minutes listening to everything you just said.

Paris: (realising belatedly that he has just mortally insulted an ex-Borg who is the trip to hell and back)You did?

Holodoc: (seeing the situation degenerate) I think I'll just take my leave here... Computer, deactivate EMH.

Paris: (backing up against a bulkhead) Listen... I can explain... It's the weight of all those implants, see? I mean...

The women advance dangerously on him

Janeway: Is anyone in the mood for some Klingon-style hunting today?

B'Elanna: I think Tuvok has a bat'leth stashed somewhere in his room...

Seven: Today... is a good day to kill!

Paris: (smiling weakly) Now if you'll excuse me, ladies, I think I'll just take my leave.... *bolts out of sickbay*

The women follow in hot pursuit, yelling Kap'la! and various Klingon obscenities

Paris: (running like hell) Harryyyyyyy!!!! Chakotaaayy!!! SAAAAAVE ME!!! Hell, all I started out wanting was just a hug from my girlfriend!! Forget Gre'tHor, Voyager IS hell!

The End 1