Disclaimer: Not mine, but CBS.
PLEASE READ NOTE
Author's Note: This is the second part of a series of works that started with Still Waters, which was based on the episode Run Silent, Run Deep. They are all going to be one shot and each shall cover one episode until the end of this season so that I can tie them into a multi-chapter work that I have been working on. Thank you.
Complicated
By
Rogue Amazon Boo
He had just had another in what was threatening to be a series of very bad days, and he couldn't seem to find a silver lining in any part of the mess. Danny Messer rubbed the back of his neck and closed his locker, preparing to leave. Right now all he wanted was a hot shower, some food, and something mindless to do for the next few hours until he fell asleep. He also wished that he could turn his head off for about five minutes.
No doubt about it he was dwelling and he tried to drag his mind away from the person he had been dwelling on by going over his day tomorrow. He was off, so he figured he'd go by the hospital and see Louie.
His brother had been doing better and he was supposed to be getting out soon. There were some nurses whose hearts were going to break at the very thought. He should probably try and get some laundry done too, or else he wasn't going to have any clean clothes for, well, pretty much anything. He also needed to go shopping. Danny stared at his locker and made his mental list but it wasn't long before he was hearing her voice again.
Come on enough of the dumb ass o.k. Blake! The clothes you were wearing last night are being tested for gun shot residue, you were at the scene...We're wasting our time.
Danny sighed, she had lost it, there was no other explanation and he had tried to come up with something, anything else to explain it. He knew this shit that had gone down with Stella had gotten to Monroe but for her to lose it like that.
Danny dragged a hand through his hair, mussing it.
He was worried about Stella too, no doubt that, but what he had told Lindsay earlier was true. Mac was handling it, and he was the best person at the lab for the job. Him and Stel, well they went way back and Danny knew that his boss would bend over backwards to find out not only what the hell had happened but also would do what was best for Stella. He also had the feeling that she wouldn't want a bunch of people hovering around her right now. She was one of those people that needed to get their heads on straight after the shit hit the fan and she was going to need time to process it. He figured that pretty soon she would talk about it, but probably only with Mac. That was their bond and Danny could respect that.
So despite the fact that he was worried about Stel, it was Lindsay that had him wondering.
She just wasn't the type of person to lose her cool like that, especially while interrogating a suspect. From the moment she heard about Stella though he could tell it was taking a lot for her to stay focused on the Russo case. He had no doubt that part of it was because she was worried for her co-worker, but he also had the suspicion that there was something else going on as well.
She had stormed out of the interrogation room, angry and upset and yes damn it, down right shaky. Danny felt an overwhelming urge to punch his locker.
Not much could shake her, and he couldn't seem to get the image of the way she had pulled away from him out of his head, the way she had hugged herself, the way her body and her voice, caught and betrayed something far more than just concern for a colleague who was going through a horrific event.
Hell since he kissed her he couldn't get her out of his head, period, and he still planned on keeping that promise he had made to himself, but she was making it awfully damn hard.
Truth was that she had been avoiding him since then and if this thing hadn't happened with Stella she would probably still be avoiding him.
Now though he wanted to find out what was going on, and damn it, he was going to find out, and he was going to use the information he had just gotten from Mac as bait for this conversation. He should have felt bad about that, but his overwhelming urge to know was overriding any sense of shame he should feel.
Danny got up and left the locker room. He needed to find Lindsay before she left for the day.
Lindsay Monroe was not having a good day, but she wasn't going to whine about it. Stella's day had been far worse. With a grimace at the thought she shouldered her purse and headed for the elevator. She had called Mac again before leaving for the day but he hadn't gotten back to her, and she was trying to convince herself that she was all right with that. She was also trying to fight back the urge to call Stella and find out if she was all right, but everyone (and by everyone she meant Danny) had assured her that Mac was dealing with it and that she needed to let him.
Reaching the elevator Lindsay mashed the down button with a lot more force than necessary. The problem she was having was that she couldn't focus her attention elsewhere and she had a very personal reason for that. She shook herself, physically shaking off that train of thought. It was in the past and there was no way she was going to drag all that back out of her subconscious now.
No, what she was going to do was go home, slip into some comfortable clothes, eat something thoroughly bad for her, and try to get some sleep, or at least that was the game plan. She didn't know that it was about to get derailed.
Lindsay had just stepped into the elevator and was watching the doors close when a masculine hand reached out and stopped the doors right before they could shut. The hand pushed them back and revealed her co-worker and sometime partner Danny Messer.
She forced a smile at him as he stepped into the elevator and cursed inwardly. She had been trying to get out of here without seeing him because she knew that she had behaved in a manner that was bound to lead to questions and she didn't want him to start asking things of her she had no intention of answering.
"Montana, taking off with out even saying good-bye?"
Lindsay groaned and the forced another smile. She could do this; she could get through a few minutes in the elevator with him and be evasive, even if she was exhausted.
"I wanted to get home. I've got stuff to do." Danny quirked an eyebrow in her direction and half grinned.
"Figured you would be waiting around till Mac got here."
She final turned her full attention on him, which had been the reason he had mentioned Mac in the first place.
"I was going to but…well, I wasn't even sure if he was coming back tonight. I left him a message, a couple actually, so I figured he would call me when he could tell me something."
Danny breathed a sigh of relief. If she had spoken to Mac already then his half concocted plan had about a snowball's chance in hell of any sort of success. As it was he felt like a heel doing this but it wasn't going to stop him.
"Funny thing. I gotta call from Mac, gave me the up date."
She practically jumped him. Her hand shot out and grabbed his forearm and she unconsciously leaned in closer to him.
"What did he say? Is Stella going to be all right? What is she going to…" Danny cut her off.
"Calm down, Montana. I'll tell you everything, but I have a condition." Her nails dug into his forearm and he winced.
"Danny you had better tell me right now or so help me God," the warning came with a tightening of her hand, and Danny had to disengage himself before answering. It was either that or lose an arm.
"I'm gonna tell you all right? Sheesh, Monroe, retracted the claws," he said while rubbing the red marks on his arm. "I'll tell you everything, but you gotta come with me down the street to the coffee shop for a cup. I don't want to do this in an elevator or in the middle of the lobby of the building where we all work and anyone can over hear."
She leaned back from him and bit her lip. She didn't want to go have coffee with Danny but she did want to find out about Stella and right now he was her only source of information. He internal debated would have lasted longer if not for the ding of the elevator announcing their arrival at the ground floor. She looked at him and the cast her gaze at the doors which now stood open, and then back at him.
"All right, Cowboy, but remember that I will kill you if you don't deliver on the info."
Danny let her step out before him so he could enjoy the view. She probably could kill him but he found himself thinking, what a way to go.
Danny bought the coffee and headed over to the booth he had picked out when they had got there. He had wanted some privacy for their conversation and as luck would have it the booth was in the darkest corner of the shop, and isolated enough so that no one would over hear them talking.
He crossed the shop and placed Lindsay's coffee in front of her. He had all ready fixed it up the way she liked it so she didn't reach for the sugar or the cream, instead she wrapped her hands around the cup, looking lost. Danny sank down in front of her and it was all he could do not to take one of her small hands into his larger ones.
Looking at her hands he realized, and not for the first time, that Lindsay was a petite woman. She always wore some sort of healed shoe to work so she looked taller but she was probably only around five foot three or four without them. Her personality though, made her seem like an Amazon, or maybe a Valkyrie, some sort of ancient warrioress who companioned for the good guys. The thought of Lindsay dressed up in something, ancient and ass kicking had him a bit distracted so when she spoke he jumped a bit.
"So are you going to tell me what Mac had to say?"
Danny brought his mind back to the subject at hand and related to her the facts as Mac had told him. When he got to the part about Stella getting free of the tub using her safety razor she had started to shake slightly. When he got the actually shooting she had removed her hands from his view so he couldn't see how badly she was shaking. She didn't say much when he was done, she just sort of stared down into her coffee, and he wondered again just what was going on with her.
"You're awfully quiet, Monroe," he said finally, breaking the silence. She looked up and he didn't like the haunted look marring her brown eyes.
"It's just…I hate feeling useless and working that other case when Stella needed us…"
Danny frowned at her, knowing there was more and deciding to call her on it.
"That's not the only reason, is it Montana?" Her eyes shot to his and her haunted look was replaced with a hunted one.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she denied. Danny's frown deepened.
"Lindsay, you have been out of it since you heard about Stella, and just now you about lacerated your coffee cup when ya heard what happened. What gives, cause this goes beyond concern."
Her eyes flashed at him angrily which is what he pretty much expected, but she surprised him with her vehemence.
"Fuck off, Messer," she cursed, stood up, and walked out. He was stunned for a moment but it didn't stop him from following her. He bolted from the booth and saw her small form darting in and out of people just down the sidewalk. He took off running and reached her right before she started down the steps to the subway.
"Hey Montana, wait a sec will ya?" Danny grabbed her arm and she immediately wrenched it away.
"I thought I told you…" he cut her off.
"Yeah, yeah, I got the message back there, no need to repeat it." She glared at him and tried to turn away but he wouldn't let her.
"Lindsay, come on, talk to me. I'm sorry all right? I shouldn't have ambushed you but you've got me worried. Just…let me take you home. I promise I won't pry but it is late and the subway is going to be packed. Let's get a cab and let me take you home."
He was pleading and he knew it but he wasn't ready to let her get away from him just yet. She still wasn't looking at him and he didn't like that either.
"Please." He whispered softly. A shudder went through her, like she was shrugging off the weight of the world, and she sighed. Slowly she lifted her head and her brown eyes met his blue. She didn't look angry anymore, she looked…defeated.
"Let's get a cab," she said and he didn't wait to celebrate his victory. He hailed the nearest taxi and bundled her in the back seat. He was settling himself next to her while she gave her address to the driver, and a few minutes later they were off with the meter running.
Silence filled the backseat like a dead weight between them but neither was willing to fill it; finally Lindsay turned to him and made sure she had his attention.
"It happened to me in Montana. I got attacked but I was lucky, if you can call it that. He only attempted to rape me…he…"
She looked lost again and Danny felt a number of contradictory emotions caused by her confession. He felt rage and tenderness vying for his attention, rage at the son of a bitch who had hurt her, and tenderness for the helpless look in her eyes. He didn't like her helpless, it didn't suit her and he was surprised to find out he would do anything to make that look go away.
He really wanted to pull her into his arms, tell her it would be all right and that he would take care of everything, but he didn't. Danny knew that as much as she roused his protective instincts she wasn't looking for a protector. She was strong, and he knew she just needed a minute so he let her collect her thoughts.
"I didn't get to shoot him though. I would have liked too, but I didn't get that chance."
Danny sucked in a breath, and cursed low and harsh.
"Jesus, Lindsay," and then as an after thought, "Is that why you left?"
She looked down at her lap and then looked back up again a fierce light unlike anything he had ever seen shining in her eyes.
"It was part of it, but there where…extenuating circumstances."
He could all ready tell that she wasn't going to elaborated. Her body language was speaking for her again.
So he surprised her and himself. He scooted over and gave into his previous urge, pulling her gently into his arms and against his side. She started like she was going to resist but then she melted into him.
"I always knew you'd be complicated Montana. I knew it from the moment you walked on to my crime scene," he muttered. She smiled a very brief and small smile.
"I didn't think you liked complications." This time, Danny smiled.
"I don' know. I ain't mind'en so much lately. They are getting damn interesting."
Lindsay looked up at him, her face upturned and Danny looked down at her, and if the driver hadn't stopped at that very moment in front of her apartment he would have kissed her again. Instead he let her wiggle free and escape from him.
"Thanks Danny," she whispered and then she was gone. He watched her enter her building before giving him his own address and leaning back.
Montana had secrets, who knew? He was still seething, thinking about the fact that some bastard had hurt her and trying to decide if he was happy having this new knowledge or not. He was also kind of wishing she had shot that asshole, and he didn't even have the whole story. He could find out, it would only take a phone call to an old contact, but he already knew he wasn't going to do that.
No he was going to let her keep her secrets, until the time came when she wouldn't want to any longer. Complications, he had a heap of them, but right now he was willing to take on a whole lot more, just so long as he never had to see her looking helpless again.
