To my most faithful student;
I send this message in hope that it reaches you in safety. Things are getting a little hectic back here at Canterlot. I know I have sent you to Manehattan to continue your studies alone; and I know you are due to return to my side in a week; but other duties have occupied in my time.
Therefore, as my timetable is now full due to royal duties in Canterlot, I need you to make your way to Ponyville, where my sister, Celestia, has instructed her own student, Twilight Sparkle, to prepare you, train you for whatever may lay ahead.
I ask you to trust her; She is by far the most gifted pony to ever study in Canterlot; besides yourself, perhaps. I know you are reluctant to trust other ponies, but please, trust me. She is as good a teacher as any; perhaps even better than myself.
Take care, my faithful student; I promise to see you soon. Report to me regularly with your progress.
Good Luck.
Your Teacher,
Princess Luna.
The sound of wind-chimes, the sound of the arcane begins to fade as the chocolate brown aura of my magic recedes from around the edges of the scroll that Princess Luna sent me. I tuck the scroll inside my saddlebags, adjusting the straps around myself, shuffling to accommodate the tightness around my body. The train comes to halt, brakes screeching as the train comes to a stop inside the Ponyville station. I join the queue of ponies at the door, waiting to exit.
Whatever Luna sent me to Ponyville for, it must be important. She never makes me interrupt my studies; Luna is strict, but fair. If I study hard, she helps me to exceed what even I thought was possible. I'm glad she pulled me out of the Royal Guard and took me under her wings.
The train finally stops and I step out of the train, observing my surroundings and taking a deep breath in, to calm myself. The train station is bustling, just as busy as Manehattan's station in fact; yet it's not nearly as grand or as organized. It doesn't matter to me; the beautiful simplicity of things calms me. I at least hope that there is more simplicity to follow. My studies can get complicated; it's nice to take things slow. The Autumn wind cut into my cheek like an icy knife, brown leaves floating in the air, swirling, dancing an exotic dance that mesmerises me. I smile to myself; a rare thing.
As I walk out of the station, I show my ticket to a guard and he waves me through. I step down the steps and into Ponyville proper, adjusting my hair, flicking it out of my face. Dark brown hair from my mane refuses to stay out of my eyes. It flicks to one side and hangs in the most annoying fashion. I really need to get my mane cut. I brush my chocolate brown coat straight at the front; that refuses to sit straight as well. I'm usually a very tidy pony; tidiness, etiquette, punctuality and formality are emphasised on, both in the Royal Guard and by Princess Luna. It's part of everyday life now; I'm used to it.
I tut and sigh, having stopped outside the station entrance. I may be looking for Miss Sparkle, but I have no idea where I'm looking. Princess Luna had left that part out. This must be a test of my initiative, I deduce. Princess Luna always has a reason; no matter. This is easy. I don't like asking others for help; it's one of my flaws; among many, I must admit; and I like to solve problems on my own. This situation shall be no exception. I set off in a general direction, having given up trying to tidy myself up; I'd focus on that later.
I've been walking around for nearly half an hour now; I'm going to have to admit defeat soon. I cannot find her, and as I've never met Miss Sparkle in person, I couldn't tell you for all the bits in Canterlot what kind of pony she is. I walk past a building, a boutique I notice; maybe the shopkeeper will know Miss Sparkle; after all, Ponyville seems like a very complex and tight-knit community; everypony will know everypony I'm sure.
I come to a stop outside, brushing my hooves off and making sure I look presentable in the door's small windows. Emerald Green eyes sparkle back at me. I swallow, before pushing open the door. A small bell rings as I enter, a signal to the shopkeeper. A voice comes out the back.
"Shan't be a moment darling, then I'll be with you!"
Her slight English accent sends a shiver down my spine. The sheer pitch of her voice was enough to make the fur of my coat stand up on end. I finish a cold shudder as an Ice-White Unicorn trots out of the back room.
"Hello there darling, welcome to Carousel Couture." Her formaility drops when she realises she's never seen me before. She regains her composure.
"Are you here to pick up an order for a client?" I manage to snap myself out of my trance and smile at her.
"No; sorry for the intrusion Miss..." I prompt the mare for her name, and she answers with a toothy smile.
"Rarity."
"Well, Miss Rarity, I'm new in town, and I need to find a Miss Twilight Sparkle. I don't suppose you'd know where she is? Or where she lives?"
Rarity raises an eyebrow at me.
"Why's that?"
I pull out the scroll that Luna sent me and show Rarity Luna's seal. "Nothing I'm allowed to discuss. Official Canterlot business, you understand."
Rarity nods. "She lives at the Library, overlooking the town. It's a big tree; you can't miss it."
She points me in the direction of the Library and I thank her for her help. As I go to leave, she taps my flank. I spin around, and she smiles again.
"What's your name? I never caught it."
"My name?" I say. A smile of my own now escapes me. "Starstrike. Student of Princess Luna."
Rarity looks almost speechless, but she's smiling. "A pleasure to meet you."
I trot out of the building, keeping my pace at a steady trot as I make my way out, following the directions Miss Rarity gave me. "Alright, down this road, take a left..."
Soon, I'm standing in front of the Library. I inspect the building, taking in the small balcony that holds a telescope, aiming towards the sky, no doubt used for star-gazing. I think I'm going to like Miss Sparkle.
I walk towards the door, raise a hoof. I rap on the door, three times. I've seen battlefields, warfare, my comrades fall around me. Meeting a girl shouldn't be difficult. The door swings wide to reveal a purple dragon. The dragon is small, but his claws are sharp, his green spiky hair sharper. He takes one look at me and raises an eyebrow.
"Yes? Can I help you?"
I give him a warm smile and nod, flicking my mane out of my eyes again.
"Yes, I wonder if you could; I'm looking for a Miss Twilight Sparkle? I was told she'd be here."
"Oh! Right, sure. TWILIGHT!" The small dragon calls over his shoulder. I roll my eyes to myself. I could've done that. Nevertheless, he looks back to me.
"Give her two minutes. She's probably not able to put that book she's been reading down."
I nod, and enter the building, the dragon standing aside to let me pass. I brush my hooves on a mat next to the door. I don't want to displease my new teacher already.
"Who is it Spike? You know I'm very busy!"
And there she was, walking down the stairs, a book suspended in mid-air, coated in a lilac aura. The Alicorn's wings flapped once or twice as she walked towards me. Finally, she was in front of me. The book lowered so I could see her face. Her lilac eyes lock with mine, and I feel something deep in my stomach, as if my stomach is twisting in on itself. I give her a weak smile. I trace her face with my eyes, run my eyes over her mane; a deep purple, with a hot pink streak, coupled with an indigo streak, brought out her eyes. She truly was a beautiful mare. Her face is mere inches from mine, and I can feel a hot blush emerge onto my cheeks. Her cutie mark, emblazoned upon her flank represented the Element of Magic; of course, I had heard of Twilight from Miss Luna (I mean, Twilight had often been brought up in conversation; she was Celestia's student after all), but never did I expect the Alicorn I had heard so much about to be so spell-bindingly beautiful. She smiles a toothy smile, white teeth almost glittering in the natural sunlight that filters in through the windows closer to the top of the library.
I don't believe in love at first sight. Of course, people's opinions and theories exist to be proven wrong.
"Can I help?"
"Hello M-Miss Sparkle. My name is S-Starstrike. Luna's student." Why am I stuttering? This should be nothing!
"Ah! Starstrike!" She slams her book shut and, using and demonstrating perfect control of her magic, slides the book back onto the shelf. I catch a glance at the title; Advanced Magical Theorem. Interesting. "It's so nice to finally meet you. Luna's told me so much about you!" I blush at this. I hate getting praise.
"Can't be much to tell. I'm not very special. Just your average Unicorn." I say. I'm not stuttering now; maybe it was just trying to find the words.
"You're not average. If Princess Luna took you under a wing, she must have seen something in you that she doesn't see in anypony else. Remember that."
Twilight is smiling at me. I find the courage to look up and into her lilac eyes, drowning in the ocean of calm they bestowed upon me. I took a calming breath.
"I guess. So, when do we start?"
Twilight's already walking away and towards a desk. A piece of parchment becomes surrounded in her magic and the wind chimes begin as she levitates the parchment in front of her face. Various books begin to float down from corresponding shelves. Twilight walks around the room, the books forming a neat pile as they float beside her.
"We start now. I need you to read up on these books. Then, tomorrow, we'll do something a little more practical. Sound fair?"
She levitates the stack of ten books towards me. I raise an eyebrow as the aura that surrounds the books change from lilac to brown as I take control.
"I don't have to read all of these in one day do I?"
Twilight laughs. Her laugh is cute, a short, sharp sound that warms me in ways I cannot describe. "Of course not! One or two will suffice for now. These are the subjects I believe you should cover, based on what Princess Luna has told me about your studies thus far."
I nod. "Thanks, Miss Sparkle."
Twilight laughs again. "Please, call me Twilight. Miss Sparkle is my mother."
Now it's my turn to laugh. "Is there anywhere for me to stay around here? Otherwise I'm reading these on the comfiest park bench I can find."
"You'll be staying here with me, of course!" She says, shaking her head, instantly dismissing the idea of me sleeping outside. "I'm sure you can conjour up a decent bed, right?"
I laugh. "Not been taught that one." Twilight grins.
"Then I hope you're a fast learner."
LATER THAT EVENING...
Miss Sparkle sits out on the balcony, reading by candlelight, totally immersed in her book. The flicking candlelight makes her lilac eyes shine as she reads, her eyes flicking from side to side as she reads line after line. Every few minutes, she turns a page, sighing contently, and shuffles in comfort. A cute smile sits on her face as she reads.
I wish I had said I'd read inside now. I'm laying opposite her, my book, Advanced Magic and it's Elements, hovering just in front of my eyes. Every few seconds, I poke my head up, observing her. I will myself to concentrate. We sit in silence, the sound of pages turning and the occasional shuffle as we fight to find comfort in our position. Eventually, Twilight breaks the silence.
"What's wrong Starstrike? You keep looking at me. Is there something you don't understand?"
I blush. Was I that obvious? I keep my composure. "Oh, no Miss Sparkle."
Miss Sparkle smiles. "I told you, call me Twilight."
I nod. "Right."
I go back to my book, stealing one last glance. I must concentrate. Knowing me, I'm bound to get quizzed on this tomorrow.
It's the next day, and I'm woken up early by the sound of a cockerel, singing it's song as the sun rises in Ponyville. My eyes just begin to open as I see my blanket lift from me, as Miss Sparkle, who is already up, moves it off me.
"Come on, up. We've got a busy day ahead of us."
I groan as I push myself up, blinking my eyes rapidly, trying to clear my vision. Miss Sparkle's tail swishes out of the room as she descends downstairs. I shake my head and walk into the bathroom. I've never been a morning person, not ever. I levitate a brush and begin to brush my bed head. It's not working, but I finally manage to beat it into submission by wetting the brush I'm using. I hate my hair; why can't it ever stay straight?
Now feeling a little fresher, I walk downstairs, flicking my hair out of my eyes. Miss Sparkle is packing a saddle bag with magic.
"Are you ready to go Starstrike?"
"Go where?" I ask, confused.
"I said yesterday we'd be doing something a bit more practical didn't I?"
"Yeah, I remember."
"Well, get yourself ready and let's go. We need to start early; this is going to take the best part of the day."
I sigh. Well, it's official. Miss Sparkle is pushier than Luna. I eat a hasty breakfast, and, after being waved out by Spike, Me and Miss Sparkle- Me and Twilight, should I say, head towards the Everfree forest. The air is fresh in the early morning, sun reflecting off the morning dew that twinkles on the grass like fallen stars. Hooves clack against the stony floor as we get closer and closer. I'm not nervous, not even slightly; I've been through much worse, but I must ask Miss Spark- Twilight what is is we're doing.
"Miss Spar - Twilight?"
Twilight stops and grins at me, teeth flashing. "Finally, we're making some progress! What's up?"
"What is it exactly that we're going to be doing today? Is there a reason we're heading into the most dangerous forest in Equestria?"
She smiles, cocking her head at me. "Of course. In fact, this is a training method that a friend of mine once took me through. I believe it will help you as well, taking into account what Princess Luna sent me."
I'm beginning to doubt my teacher. Is she sure? Luna's words echo within my head;
I ask you to trust her.
I realise that I'm going to have no choice. I sigh, then nod.
"Alright. Let's go."
We walk for a ways more, the sunlight being cut off now from the overhanging trees as we make our way deeper into the forest. The trees feel like they have a mind of their own; more than once I am convinced that the tress are whispering to themselves, closing in on Twilight and myself. I cast a light spell with my horn, a small, chocolate brown orb of light floats besides me, giving myself a little more light. I feel a bit more at ease now. I shouldn't feel nervous, but there's just something about this place that just feels unnerving to me. I can feel Twilight moving a little closer to me, almost touching me.
"Don't worry; I'm here."
I feel slight comfort in her words, warmth spreading out and finding it's way to my face. Eventually, we stop at a small pond. The water is still; the scene quiet and unmoving. Twilight shatters the silence.
"Alright; any ideas why I brought you here?" She asks. A test on my intuition, it seems. I can't pass this one though. I don't have a clue, and I'm not about to make something up. I shake my head.
"No Twilight."
She smiles and continues on. "Well, in her letter to me, Luna explains that you possess a lot of magical ability. She also explains that you have a lot of control over your magic, and you are improving and gaining much better control as time goes on. This training will help you to control your magic faster that little faster. The spells and theories that I'm going to teach you demand it."
"Alright. What have I got to do?"
She nods out to the middle of the pond.
"You're going to stand in the middle of that pond, while keeping three balls of the water floating around you. I want you to do that for as long as possible."
"Ok. How do I get out there?"
Twilight closes her eyes and her horn begins to glow, the familiar wind chime sound beginning to fill the silent air. She is engulfed in a ball of light, and then POOF! - she's disappeared. A bang behind me makes me spin; she's balancing perfectly on a lily-pad in the centre of the lake, three orbs of water floating, enveloped in her lilac aura. Even she has her eyes closed, concentrating hard. She holds this pose for a solid five minutes; her breathing remaining smooth and even all the time. She didn't look she was really trying.
She has me mesmerised. I cannot drag my eyes away from her; she is balanced on one hoof, her forelegs arched above her head, her other leg sticking out to assist her balance. It's extremely exotic and beautiful, watching her stand still and do what she is. Then, she begins to move. From one hoof to the next, she glides over the water; keeping her eyes shut, she begins to dance a dance that takes my very breath away. She barely touches the surface of the water and she nearly skates along, moving in ways I didn't even think possible. Not once did her wings extend to catch herself or help her balance; not once did her eyes open to check where she was. I can see this is something that she does often, maybe even every day. She is confident in the way she moves; but she must bring the act to an end. Getting herself back onto the lily-pad, her lilac aura drops the water, which had not stopped floating and rotating around her the whole time. Her lilac aura surrounded herself and she teleported back to me on the shore.
"I had to hold that for far longer when I actually did the training. A few hours was my best. But it will teach you control over your magic."
It takes me a few seconds to realise that my jaw is currently sitting on the floor. I place a hoof under my jaw to try and make myself stop staring at her.
"That was incredible! How long did it take you to perfect that?"
Twilight's ears flatten on her head and she blushes at the compliment. "Thank you Starstrike. The water-walking I have only just recently learnt to do; I do not expect you to be able to do that. Now, let's give it a go. Remember, concentration."
So I cast Twilight's dance from my thoughts, and try. I know a teleportation spell, which makes things a little easier; and I close my eyes, teleporting out to the lily-pad. The concept of teleportation is simple; all you have to do is focus hard on the place you want to transport too; as long as you concentrate, you'll move. I hit the lily-pad and splash into the water; apparently, this was going to be harder than it looked. I paddle to the shore and sit for a moment, shake myself dry, then go again. This time I make it to the middle, floating haphazardly on the pad. I close my eyes, and breath.
Focus Starstrike… Focus...
Using my magic, wind chimes sound as my horn lights up, lifting some water from the pond. I concentrate, trying to form three balls, but Twilight's dance, how easy she made it look, enters my head. Concentration lost, I fall back into the pond. I teleport out, and lay on the bank, coughing and spluttering.
"How did you do that Twilight?"
I didn't realise, but I've just asked someone for help. I never ask for help, but I did that without even thinking. I must really be struggling, but somehow, I feel like Twilight will really know what to do.
"I won't tell you what to do, but I will tell you this. This is all you need to know."
I sit up on the bank, drinking in every word. She has my attention again. I watch her soft lips move.
"You can have the most talent in the world, the best magical ability the land has ever known. But it won't mean a thing if you can't focus. The key to magic, the key to everything… is focus. Clear your mind of all your troubles, forget your stress; and focus solely on your objective. Only then can you achieve this."
"But what if I can't?" It's hard to clear your mind; the average pony cannot simply forget everything. It's not possible, but Twilight is in my face now, guiding a hoof under my chin.
"Do not doubt yourself. If you do, you have already lost."
I nod, staring into her eyes again. This time, it's Twilight that breaks our gaze. So I stand again, her words echoing within me. I allow myself to clear my head, willing every fibre of my being to calm myself.
You heard her Starstrike… Clear your mind… focus...
For the next hour, I struggle. But I am doing it, slowly but surely. After falling in for the thousandth time, I teleport back out, panting and snorting out pond water. Twilight looks up from a book she's been reading.
"Let's stop for something to eat."
Using her magic, she levitates sandwiches out from her bag, hovering it in front of me. Normally, I am polite in the way I eat, but I'm so hungry from all the physical exertion that I nearly inhale the meal presented to me, rather than savouring it. I sit on the bank, looking out over the water as I swallow. Twilight comes and sits next to me.
"So what's bothering you? You're not clearing your mind, something is up."
I can't hide it from her. She's on my mind, but I can forget her. There's something else that's coming into my head. I don't want to tell her. I can trust her.
Right?
That's it. If Luna and Celestia trust her, then I trust her.
"Whenever I'm out there, and it begins to work… I hear this voice. It's my Drill Sergeant, Colt Wing, back from when I was a medic in the Royal Guard."
Twilight is silent. I never look at her, keeping my gaze fixated on a point somewhere in the distance, but out of the corner of my eye, I can see Twilight's face screwed up in concern.
I continue on, not missing a beat. "He used to yell at me, tell me I couldn't do anything, never succeed. That I would never amount to anything. And I believed him, for the longest time. Then Luna found me, trained me… but he still haunts me. I just don't think I can do this. It's so hard. This is like nothing that I've ever done before…"
Twilight's voice is low and sorrowful as she speaks.
"This is my fault. I should never jumped into something this advanced straight away…"
I tut, smiling. "Don't you start losing heart and faith. If you do, we're both in trouble."
Twilight smiles and laughs her cute laugh. She looks at me. "What is your cutie-mark?"
I look down at my flank. It's a book with a red medical cross on it's cover, and behind, crossing over, are two wands, each shooting stars out of their tips. I shrug. "I think it means I'm means I'm gifted in medical magic. Which I am, to be honest; hence why I was a medic in the Royal Guard. I got it when I was just a filly, same as everyone else, I'm sure."
"How did you get it?" She prompts me, her gentle questioning forcing me to open up. I've never opened up to anyone like this, not even Luna. But I want to talk, to answer her question, but that lily-pad is calling to me. I can do this.
"That's a story for another time. I want to give this another go."
Twilight looks put out, as if I've really disappointed her, but she does not protest as I stand, and clear my mind for the millionth time that day. I clamp my eyes tight shut, focusing on the lily-pad, and what I must do.
LET'S DO THIS! I cry internally. I feel myself move through the air, feel my hooves come into contact with the soft, slimy surface of the pad. I arch my legs above my head, my hind leg sticking out. I close my eyes, the water lifting out as the wind chimes. I breathe in and out, inhaling the smell of the damp earth and the water, allowing it to calm my nerves. I can hear Colt Wing's voice, but it's like it's coming from a badly tuned radio. I can't hear him clearly. I'm doing it. I'm doing it! The water begins to take shape. I peek my eyes open, watching the water become a perfect sphere. I can see my reflection in the water's surface, see my Emerald Green eyes shimmer in it's glow, and I allow a smile. I exhale sharply, causing my balance to slip, but I sort myself out.
The water begins to rotate around me, and I look at Twilight. She looks absolutely thrilled that I have managed it, and give her the largest smile I've ever given. She calls to me.
"That's it Starstrike! You can do it!"
That's right. That's right! I can anything I set my mind too! Anything at all, push my boundaries, exceed my mental and physical limits. You hear that Colt Wing? You were WRONG!
LATER THAT EVENING...
I am exhausted. My body has never ached so much in my life. I have used a healing spell to soothe my aching muscles, but it hasn't really worked. So, I sit with some ice on my forelegs, where it burns the most, and use my magic to levitate my book (Advanced Magic: A History) as I read. I realised I never answered Twilight's question about my cutie mark.
There she is, sitting opposite me. She's in a similar position to last night; crouched in on herself, reading her book, immersed in every single line. I begin to speak.
"It was at school in Phillydelphia, where I grew up."
I catch Twilight's attention. She puts her book down so I can talk to her. Her wings stretch reflexively as she settles in to listen.
"There was a tree in our playground you see. It was a beautiful thing; huge, old, and magnificent. In the Autumn, it's leaves would turn into some of the most beautiful colours I've ever seen; oranges, yellows, reds; it truly was a sight. The janitor pony used to sweep these leaves under one of the branches; and in the playtimes we were given, we used to play in the leaves." I pause to chuckle. "Used to drive that janitor nuts."
Twilight chuckles too and I laugh again, our laughter merging to gather to create a new sound, one that warms my soul and makes me tingle with happiness. I continue on.
"I was never a popular pony. I never had any friends, so I used to watch the others play. It was nice, watching the others find happiness in something that I too liked; I felt connected to everypony that way. But then, one of the other ponies, he decided he'd be clever. He was a little older than me, about a year I think; he had learned how to teleport. He was skilled in magic, sure, and I used to envy him, but he abused his ability. He teleported to one of the highest branches and declared that'd he'd jump into the big pile."
I pause for breath. Twilight looks on tenterhooks as I breathe.
"So, he jumped. Silly fool. He hit the leaves, went straight through, and there was the most sickening crack I had ever heard. Both my parents are doctors, so I already had some knowledge of medical magic; so I ran over to investigate. He had broken his neck on the fall and died, there and then."
Twilight gasps in shock, but I continue on.
"I stood there, looking at him, panicking. I didn't know what to do, but then I remembered my father's training. You should never be nervous when dealing with a patient. So I calmed myself. I knew what needed to be done. I began to heal him. Firstly, I fixed his neck. Should've seen the looks on the faces of all the other ponies; they thought I was hurting him when his neck snapped back into place. It was extremely advanced stuff for a pony of my age; honestly, I was improvising, only doing what I had sometimes seen my father do when he had to deal with some stunt ponies from that stunt group, the Wonderbolts. He used to take me to work all the time, my father did."
Twilight says nothing. My voice is beginning to grow hoarse.
"But I kept going. I channelled my magic to his heart, preforming CPR. I was there for ten minutes straight. The school, all the teachers gathered around me, watched me heal this poor, poor filly. I thought I was never going to bring him back, and I was about to give up when he coughed back into life."
Twilight had been crying and she smiled, tears streaming down her face, soaking her fur. I blush. Dropping my book, I get up and walk over to Twilight, wiping away the tears from her eyes.
"Hey, it wasn't that emotional. Please stop crying; you'll get me started."
Twilight chuckles lightly as she sniffles, picking up her book again.
"You really are some pony else Starstrike." She says, disbelief in her voice.
"Nah." I settle myself back down, our eyes lock. "Just your average pony, me." I say, giving her a wide smile.
I'm restless tonight. I toss and turn in the bed that I have conjured myself. I cannot seem to get myself comfortable. Eventually, I sit up, groggy from lack of sleep. I look across the room, moonlight leaking into the room from the window, casting a silken glow over the sleeping pony in the other bed.
Twilight Sparkle sleeps soundly in the bed; moonlight reflecting on her face, making her eyes twinkle like fallen stars. Her soft hair glistens in the light, and she sighs every so often, content in her rest and dreaming peacefully. Spike's occasional snores from the foot of the bed punctuate the stillness of the scene; I sigh. At least two of us is getting a goodnight's rest.
I pull myself out of the bed; legs turning to jelly as they make contact with the wooden floor. Yesterdays activities have taken their toll on my muscles. I take the moment to activate my magic, the room illuminating as my horn glows, flooding my system with a sort of simulated painkiller that most medical ponies know how to cast. I feel better, but only slightly. I open the door quietly, walking downstairs and taking in seat in front of the dying fire, it's embers flickering, dancing as they slowly extinguish.
I sigh roughly, making small circles on the rug with a hoof. I cannot sleep; partially because of my aching muscles (I swear, Twilight is going to be the death of me), but because… she simply will not get out of my head. I do not believe I love Twilight; after all, I have only known her for just over twenty-four hours; love in that period of time is nearly impossible. It's impossible to deny, however, that I do feel… something. But because I cannot fathom exactly what it is I feel, my head feels like a washing machine, spinning constantly, turning my thoughts on their heads, keeping me in a state of confusion that preoccupies my every waking moment.
I sigh again, pushing myself back onto my hooves. I walk to the fridge, open it with magic. My head thumps hard as I use my magic again. The constant use of magic must be putting a strain on my body. Strange, I used my magic more than this in the field tent, during the War with the Southern Continent. Maybe it's a medic thing. You keep going because you know you must. You know that other ponies are counting on you to get them home, safe and sound, to their loved ones.
Loved ones. What a luxury I'm not blessed with having.
Oh, sure, I had parents; of course, this was only until they dumped me at an orphanage. They couldn't look after me; I was young, too young to understand, to comprehend just why they let me go, tossed me aside like a piece of unwanted trash. And to think; I always thought so highly of my father. My mother too. I pour myself a glass of milk and slowly chug it down, running over the faint memories I have of my parents in my head.
My father was much like me, from what I can remember; straight, tidy. His coat was blonde; clearly my colour had not come from him, but I remember his Emerald Green eyes, piercing into you. My father was truly a remarkable stallion; he was solely responsible to start the Medical Corps, hence why I was a little more well known than others. Of course, now I have surpassed my father; I am no longer living his shadow, great in my own right and the fruits of my labour paying off. Of course, I do not want to sound big-headed at all; greatness is only achieved with determination, hard work, and good old-fashioned common sense. Luckily, I was blessed with all of them.
My mother was a chocolate brown, much like myself; I'm glad I had at least inherited some of my mothers genes. Sometimes, when I'm really lonely, I can feel her hold me, comfort me, the way she used to when I would cry. Her legs wrapped safely around my neck... I realise that's what I crave more than anything. I just want someone to hold me, to comfort me... to tell me they love me. I haven't had that luxury for most of my life; unless you count the ponies I've healed on the field, thanking me for my efforts to get them home to their loved ones. I shrug that off. People think that I'm something special; but I only do what any other pony should do.
I sit down in front of the fire once more. I don't feel like sleeping just yet; my head is still hurting. I could flood my system with painkiller, but it's harder to channel your magic around your own body in the way that medicinal magic requires; so I decide I'm going to have to suffer. I think a little more about Twilight. Her soft lilac fur, brushing up against mine, comforting me, showing how much she cares...
I shake my head, hard enough to cause a twinge of pain to shoot through my system. Seriously Starstrike? She's your teacher!
"Starstrike?"
Twilight's groggy voice sounds out as she walks into the room. I freeze up.
"Yes Twilight?"
"Are you OK? You've been acting strange these last few days. Is that why you can't sleep?"
I almost spill, tell her everything I feel; but that's a mistake. Think about it, if she knows it could make my lessons awkward, then what would we gain?
"I just ache Twilight. It's been at least a year since I did anything that physically exhausting." I say, stretching and wincing as if to support my point. Twilight walks over to me, and without saying a word or looking me in the eye, she wrapped her legs around my neck and pulls me into a hug.
I'm a little shocked at first, and I can feel the blush, rising fast onto my cheeks and the comfort begin to cloud my thoughts and judgement. A warm tingle begins to spread through every fibre of my being as Twilight sighs in content against my neck, her warm breath feeling like a thousand gentle kisses against my fur. I almost kiss her neck; it's there, open and inviting, but I remember my etiquette. I slowly lean back into the hug, feeling the same warm content that I felt so many years ago begin to wash over me. I finally find my tongue.
"W-What's this for?"
Twilight chuckles into my neck as she increases her grip.
"It's to make you feel better. Sometimes, the best remedy is a hug."
I make a thoughtful noise as I bury my face in her hair, breathing in her scent.
"Hmmm. Fairly sure I haven't read that in any of my medical handbooks."
Her easy laughter has me in fits of giggles. We stand like this for goodness only knows; a minute? An hour? Maybe more? All I know is I don't want her to let go. I know she must eventually. That's why I want this to last as long as possible. So that I may savour this feeling, preserve it in my memory, hold onto it forever. I have never felt like this before; no-one has ever made me feel this wanted.
Was that wrong? Knowing that someone wanted me? That it makes me feel wanted, needed? Makes me feel handsome, good about myself? Is that such a bad thing? I decide it isn't. I know, however, that we must split now. Slowly, (and unwillingly), I disengage myself from her warm, inviting forelegs. She looked almost as content as I felt.
"It's been so long... since anypony made me feel like that." I say. I must be honest now.
Twilight's ears flatten against her head and she blushes a bright crimson. "I apologise Starstrike. I will admit that I am curious myself. It's been a long time since I've hugged someone. Someone special to me at least."
I shrug this off. "What about your friends?"
Twilight beings to walk away from me, intent on going back to bed. She stops on the foot of the stairs and turns to look at me. I cannot place that glint in her eye. Hunger? Lust? Tiredness? She says only a few words.
"It just isn't the same."
And with that, she's ascending the stairs. My head now not pounding as badly, I follow her up, eyes drifting to her flank as it sways from left to right. I quickly snap my head up. I must stop being so indecent. What in Equestria would Luna think if she knew I had descended to such perverse tact? What would Twilight say?
I finally crawl back into my bed, and I can now feel sleep beginning to descend over my aching body. Finally, sleep finds me.
When I wake, I know something is instantly wrong. It is well into the afternoon by the time I rise, and I'm beginning to panic. I've never been this late, never in my entire life, and now... Why had Twilight not said anything? Why had she not waken me? Was she punishing me? Would she be sitting downstairs, waiting to give me some form of punishment? I had no idea, but I had to go and find out.
Rising from my bed and standing upon aching muscles, I quickly flood my body with the same simulated painkiller I had the night before. This works wonders and knocks the pain on it's head, so I am able to start moving, albeit with difficulty, because no matter how much I get rid of the pain, it will still not counter the stiffness of my bones. Sorting myself out at a pace that was surprising to even myself, I gallop downstairs and burst into the library proper.
She sits in front of the now extinguished fireplace, book levitating in front of her face, a fixed, concentrated look creasing her brow and distorting her otherwise calm features. She looks up as I enter the room, giving me a gentle smile, but I cannot look her in the eyes. I feel like I'm being backed into an otherwise dangerous corner and there is no way out. My tail between my legs, I look down at my hooves, an ashamed look plastered across my own face.
"I'm sorry Twilight. I'm willing to accept any punishment you may give me."
Twilight begins to chuckle. Next, she's full on laughing, rolling around in fits of hysterics. I look up at the giggling mare in front of me; what was so funny?
"Something on my face?" I say, raising a hoof to my cheek. She shakes her head as she finishes laughing. Finally, brushing a tear away from her eye, she speaks.
"Why are you always so serious?" She says. "I know better than anyone that you're so serious because your trying to prove yourself; you feel like you have something to show everypony, show them what you can do. But, you don't need too. If you can believe in your own abilities, you'll find it easier to get on with everypony."
I nod slowly. "But... what about today's lessons?"
She shrugs as she gets back onto her hooves. "I saw how wiped out you were from yesterday. You did valiantly, but you can't hide that you pushed yourself far to far and burnt yourself out. You needed the rest, so I left you in bed."
"I appreciate that," I begin, "But I'd rather not lose a day of my studies. I want to continue."
Twilight pressed a hoof to my lips and I turn pink, going silent almost instantly.
"Take today off. OK? Take a stroll around town. Get to know other ponies."
I just nod absent-mindedly and turn towards the stairs, completely intent on ignoring Twilight and just reading, but I did tell myself I'd trust her. So I take one last look at Twilight, who is back to reading her book, and I nod. "See you later!" I call as I walk out the door. The door slams shut before Twilight can issue a reply. No matter. No doubt we'll be reading together later.
I take a seat outside the library door and take a deep breath of fresh air. I feel some life come back to my aching bones and feel my blood begin to flow, hot and fast, through my veins. I feel alive again. I set off at a run, intent on feeling the wind in my mane. I struggle at first, but soon, I'm at full gallop, sprinting though the centre of Ponyville, laughing and chuckling to myself. Focused on my run, I don't see the yellow pony cross my path before it's too late.
To try and veer myself off my current collision course, I dig my hooves into the ground, and jump over the pony, doing a full front flip and landing perfectly. Haven't done that since the Corps. I stop, turn, and see the other pony, who has flowing, bubblegum pink hair, is running away from me, plainly scared and what had just happened. I call out after her.
"Hey! Wait!"
She doesn't however, and keeps running, her wings flapping, and she's in the air. I shake my head.
"Ladies man Starstrike. Impressive." I say to myself, feeling like a total idiot. I turn and begin a reasonable trot on the path. Following the path, I take a round route back towards the library, drinking in the scenery like a pony does water. The trees are nearly bare now, and my hooves crunch freshly fallen leaves beneath my every step; it is relaxing to me. I slow to a walk, listening to every crunch, every crinkle. I smile in content. Maybe I'll take Twilight out for a walk at some point. I think that would be a nice thing to do.
Before long, night has fallen, and I'm back at the library. My mind still contemplating on the events on yesterday's fiasco, I'm not quite sure what to think as I stroll back in. Twilight greets me.
"Hello Starstrike. How did you find your walk?"
I smile at her as I levitate a book from the shelf and walk onto the balcony. "Fine, thank you. I think I'll do a little reading, if that's OK with you of course."
"By all means." Twilight tells me, nodding her head in approval.
Anything to keep my mind from her. I mustn't let my thoughts stray anymore than they already have.
