Welcome to this kinda-crossover-but-yet-still-Frozen fanfiction! Read and enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I own Frozen as much as you do... Unless you're from Disney, which means I own it less than you.
Kristoff sighed, plopping down into his desk. It was last period, Psychology 101, and he was already bored out of his mind. I'm only taking this for the extra credit, he reminded himself. And no matter if I pass or fail, I'll still get like, what, a B on this course anyways. No problem. Easy peasy.
The content smile slid slowly off his face, though, as he realized that not all of the class had showed up. Coincidentally, all of the ones who did were students who hadn't taken the class before.
Leaning backwards, he whispered to the boy behind him, Eugene 'Flynn' Fitzherbert, "Do you know what the weasel is planning for us today?"
Flynn shrugged. "Who cares. I already know I'm gonna fail this course. And besides," he smirked, pushing his hair back and flashing his teeth at the girl day-dreaming on his right, "I hear Rapunzel digs bad boys."
Kristoff groaned and turned back around, nearly jumping out of his skin when he came nose to nose with the person in front of him, Anna Rendalle.
"What the f-" he managed, before he mentally slapped himself. This was his best friend since sixth grade! Taking a deep breath, Kristoff tried again.
"Can I... help you?"
Anna gave a little nervous squeal and whisper-shouted, "It's a test!"
His heart dropped. "W-what?"
"Duke planned a pop quiz! I heard it from Hans, see, the guy at the window, and he said that his older brother told him that Duke always has a surprise test! I didn't study!"
"Uh..." Kristoff tried to calm down, and counted the people in the room quickly. "Well, there're only... Ten kids here. He might not hold the test. It's fine..."
"Fine? I'M FREAKING OUT HERE!"
"Ahem."
Everyone turned quickly to the front, all conversations stopped. Duke Wesel, teacher of psychology, gave a slightly-less-than-maniacal grin, and warbled, "So nice of you all to make it, unlike some... significant others. But do not worry! The test shall go on!"
A few groans were heard, and Duke snapped, "No complaints! But, ah, just a few rules. One, you must do everything in order, and wait for everyone to finish the question before moving on. Two, if you miss a question, you get zapped by this little device here." He motioned to a remote, and Kristoff suddenly became aware of a machine attached to the side of his chair.
Great. I'm being taught by an insane old man. Get me out of here.
"And three, do your best!" He laughed, then began to dance around the room, throwing test papers at each student, while looking rather similar to a peacock.
"You may begin!"
Alright, let's get this over with. First things first, I suppose.
Kristoff glanced over the test, filling in his name, date, and the period. There. That wasn't so hard.
Carefully, as to not miss anything on a psychology test by Duke, he read the line above the first question carefully.
Your name is Kai Vothston.
No it isn't. Kristoff glanced up, but everyone else was staring at their papers intensely.
Well OK then.
1. Say your name out loud.
What the- fine. Just... Fine. Effing Duke.
He opened his mouth, and managed, "Kri-"
A bored voice in the front row drawled, "Astrid Hofferson."
BZZT.
"OW! WHAT THE F-"
The boy beside her, Nolan 'Hiccup' Handokr, clamped a hand over her mouth and gave a sheepish grin. "Nothing to see here! Carry on, everyone!"
Duke shook his head. "Follow the instructions, or else you get the zapper!"
Kristoff furrowed his brow. But you say your name, right? Why didn't it work?
Into the silence, an awkward voice that was most definitely not his coughed, "Um... Kristoff Bjorgman."
"Hey!" Kristoff waited for Hans Sudlanis to get shocked, but it never came. "What are you doing? What's going on?"
"It's psy-cho-lo-gy," Duke hummed in a sing-song voice, fingers dancing over the remote. "Now, no more distractions, hm?"
Think... Think... Wait a minute.
Kristoff re-read the first line, comprehension dawning on him.
Your name is Kai Vothston.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!
Anna waved her hand excitedly, and yelled, "Elsa Regale!"
Elsa flinched, and said softly, "Rapunzel Corona."
"Huh?" Rapunzel looked up from her doodles, glanced down at the first question, and smiled. "Anna Rendalle!"
What the- she got it? Kristoff sighed. It was Rapunzel, after all.
"Hans Sudlanis," Gerda mumbled, glancing nervously at her chair.
"Kai Vothston!" Kristoff shouted, catching on.
"Astrid Hofferson," Kai groaned.
Said girl sighed, realizing her mistake. "Flynn Rider."
BZZT.
"WELL F-! Ah, fine." Getting up, pants smoking, she growled, "Eugene Fitzherbert."
"Gerda Wendroth!" Flynn yelled with enthusiasm, causing a ruckus as per standard.
Everyone turned to Hiccup, who said, "Nolan Handokr."
Idiot! You'll get shocked!
When nothing happened, Hiccup nervously flashed his test. "I got my own name, guys."
Everyone sighed, turning their eyes back to their tests. At least that was over.
2. Draw a reindeer.
What? No.
2. Draw a reindeer.
Everyone else was.
2. Draw a reindeer.
So embarrassing. Everyone would remember The Incident. He could feel the eyes on his back, and hear a few giggles.
2. Draw a reindeer.
Kristoff sighed, put his pen to the paper, and drew a cruddy looking outline of a horse with antlers.
The Incident. Duke had to bring it up.
Just don't ask.
Ever.
Moving on...
3. You're too sexy for your shirt.
I QUIT.
Kristoff threw his extra pen at Duke, and glanced around the class. Everyone had finished drawing superior reindeers, and every single person was looking just as uncomfortable as he felt.
Finally, Flynn pulled his shirt over his head, stood on his desk, and chucked it at Duke, yelling, "FOR FREEDOM, MY FELLOW CLASSMATES!"
Duke didn't bat an eye. The shirtless boy shrugged, and sat down again, ignoring the stares.
Sighing, Hans pulled his shirt off, blushing slightly, and folded it, putting it under his chair. Kai shrugged, and after stuffing his blazer in his bag, glanced at Gerda, flexing his muscles. Hiccup protested, and taking matters into her own hands, Astrid yanked his off, punching him the arm afterwards of being a wimp.
Kristoff groaned, and slid off his shirt. At least I'm not fat, he reasoned. They're staring because I'm handsome. Yeah, that's it.
Flynn wagged his eyebrows at Rapunzel, "Go on, girls. We're waiting."
Riiiiight. There are girls in this class too...
Anna turned around, raised an eyebrow, and began to pull the hem of her shirt up, smirking.
Maybe Duke isn't so bad after all...
As she was about to tug upwards, Anna flashed one last smile, and turned around, kicking off her shoes instead. The other four girls did the same, Rapunzel almost following through with the first option before Gerda yanked her top down and whispered in her ear.
What the-
Flynn glowered, pointing to the fine print under the question.
(Girls can be too sexy for their shoes.)
I've changed my mind. Duke is just as bad, if not worse.
4. Draw an arrow to where you are.
OK. No one could possibly fall for this twice, he reasoned, drawing a line towards Hans.
Other students did the same, drawing an arrow to the owners of their name.
There. Easy-
BZZT.
Flynn yelped, behind smoking, as he finished drawing a line pointing at himself. "DAMMIT, DUKE!"
Kristoff sighed, and whacked Flynn on the head with his test.
5. Get up and hug the person with your real name.
If it will get me to the end of this test, fine. Kristoff stood, strode over to Hans, and gave him an awkward-man-hug, made even awkwarder by the shirtless-ness.
There were a few more giggles, and Kristoff muttered, "Damn you, Duke..."
A hug-splosion occured moments later. Flynn and Astrid hugged without injuring each other. Elsa got tackled by one of Rapunzel's super hugs. Anna laughed, until she realized that she need one too, and braced herself.
Kai hugged Astrid. Kristoff hugged Kai. Hans gave Gerda a hug, still feeling awkward from his man-hug. Flynn hugged Gerda right after, not even caring he was shirtless, and tried to hug Rapunzel, before being intercepted by Duke.
Anna and Elsa were the last ones standing, and Elsa gave the other girl a quick squeeze before rapidly sitting down. Anna stuck her tongue out, and clumsily managed to get back to her seat.
BZZT.
Hiccup fell out of his chair, yelping. "What was that for?!"
"You didn't hug anyone," Duke explained happily.
"But- I HAVE MYSELF!"
"Then hug yourself. Go on."
Hiccup sighed, awkwardly wrapping his arms around his self. "There, are you happy?"
This is getting worse and worse...
6. You're not sexy anymore, now put your clothes back on.
"DAMMIT!" yelled Flynn. All the other boys sighed in relief as they tugged on their shirts, the girls simply kicking their shoes back on.
Did Duke make us take our shirts off just for the hugging? Kristoff wondered. I'll bet anything he did.
Tricky bastard.
7. Say your salutations to the person you like.
Hell no. HELL NO.
Kristoff buried his head in his hands, trying to find a way out. There was no way in all of the world that he'd openly tell a girl he liked her. There'd have to be something way too important to lose at stake.
In front of him, Anna was fidgeting, eyes darting towards the door. Her hands were tapping her pen, and sweat was openly visible on her forehead. Everyone else was struggling to hide their discomfort. Everyone except for Elsa, who was staring off into space, and Rapunzel, who snapped her fingers and grinned, standing up on her chair.
"Ahem!"
Well, this is obvious, Kristoff thought. Everyone knows she likes Flynn. No pressure for her.
Behind him, Flynn leaned back in his chair, a satisfied smirk on his face. "C'mon and say it already!"
"Alright, alright!" She smiled sweetly, and said, "Salutations Kristoff!"
What.
Flynn jerked up in his chair, toppling back onto the floor with a crash. "WHAAAAAAAT!?"
"B-but you, Flynn, I thought you..." Kristoff tried to get out of, well, WHATEVER THE HECK THIS WAS.
No buzzer, so obviously she was telling the truth... You know what? I've gone crazy. Yeah, that's it...
Elsa raised her hand, smiling slightly, and said, "Hello, Flynn."
WHAT. WHAT WAS GOING ON.
Flynn groaned, and face planted into his desk. "The girls are going nuts! Duke, lemme outa here!"
Duke shook his head. "You haven't finished the question. Now, hurry up! Only 20 minutes left of class!"
Everyone broke out into a nervous chatter, trying not to meet anyone's eyes. Shrugging, Rapunzel went back to her doodling, and Elsa walked over to Anna, whispering something in her ear, blushing slightly.
Annaus eyes widened. "Oooooh. Hey! Hans! Hi there!"
Hans jerked his head around, looking at her, then Elsa, then back at Anna, the pieces clicking. "Oh, um, hello back, Anna!"
Kristoff furrowed his brow. Wait... Anna has Elsa's name, Hans has mine... Rapunzel has Anna's...
A lightbulb suddenly went off in Kristoff's head, and he yelled, "Gerda! Hi there!"
Kai stood up, yelling, "Hey! Keep your eyes off- erm, uh... Never mind!"
Gerda, on the other hand, glanced down at her test, and pointed to the top of it. After a moment, Kai sat back down, red faced, and Gerda mumbled, "Hello, Elsa."
The few people that hadn't caught on stared at her oddly, and she flushed.
"Hiccup! What up?" Kai shouted, grinning.
More stares. He shrugged them off, and sat down, still smiling.
"Ahhh... Fine. Salutations, Rapunzel." Astrid waved half heartedly, after Hiccup pointed to the top line of the test.
"Hello!" She waved back, smiling, back to being oblivious.
"HEEEEEY THERE, KAI!" Flynn cupped his hands over his mouth and waved. "Nice weather we're having, huh?!"
Gerda sank lower in her seat, and Kai smiled proudly. "OH, IT'S REAL GREAT, EUGENE!"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"
Everyone turned to Hiccup. He had his own name, so he was left with the truth. Kristoff winced in sympathy. I feel for you, bro.
Hiccup balled his fists, blushing. "Duke, if you make me continue with this question, I will personally call Toothless over and shred you to bits."
At the mention of Hiccup's Rottweiler, Duke nervously held his hands up in a sign of defeat. "Moving on, class! Let's keep going, hm?"
8. You all have you real names back.
Finally this damn test is over, Kristoff sighed. Now to get out of here and-
There was a small 'eep' of terror from Anna, and his stomach turned as he read the last line of the test.
8.5. ...Now repeat the question above within the next ten seconds, or fail this test.
FUCK.
Tick.
Kristoff felt his mouth go dry. Total embarrassment or fail the course? The decision was tougher to choose from than pushing Duke into a volcano or roasting him alive on a barbecue. Impossible.
Tick.
Someone man up! Or woman up! Or... SOMETHING UP, JUST SAVE US, DAMMIT!
Tick.
Even Rapunzel had stopped what she was doing, and was anxiously fiddling with her hair, shooting Flynn nervous looks.
Tick.
C'mon Hans... C'mon Hiccup... SOMEONE STOP THE COUNTDOWN. Please!
Tick.
Tick.
Wait, did the clock just speed up?
Tick.
Tick.
IT DID! FUCK!
Tick.
Kristoff gripped the edge of his chair, ready for the painful shock that was almost certainly going to course through his body in less than a second.
"DAMMIT, I LOVE YOU, ALRIGHT!? JUST STOP THE EFFING TIMER!"
Everyone turned to Flynn, shocked. He had grabbed Rapunzel's hand was was blushing, but somehow managed to keep eye contact with her.
"F-Flynn-" Rapunzel yanked her hand away, and after a second whispered, "I love you too." The she whipped out her pen and chucked it at Duke. "YOU HAPPY NOW?"
Duke chuckled, and pressed a button, the timer starting up again. "10 seeeeecoooonds, kiddies!"
Tick.
Well, fu-
"FINE! JUST... SALUTATIONS, HICCUP!" Astrid grabbed the stunned boy and pressed her lips against his, then threw him to the ground and ran out the door, red-faced.
"What... just happened...?" Hiccup asked, stunned.
"I think Astrid just kissed you," Kai replied.
"Eh... I like you too, then? Ah ha ha..."
Tick.
The remaining six's eyes swivelled towards the timer, panic setting in again.
Tick.
Kai covered his eyes with one hand, yelled, "We're doomed!", and dragged Gerda out the door, screaming, "SALUTATIONS!"
"I like you too-!" Gerda managed, before the door slammed, cutting her off.
Tick.
Kristoff buried his face in his hands. C'mon, Hans! Don't make me go!
Tick.
Elsa stood suddenly, grabbed her bag, and said, "I'm sorry, but I'd rather fail this course than admit... other things. See you all later." She moved towards the door, but Hans grabbed her arm.
"Elsa, wait-"
She tried to brush him off. "I said, see you all later, and that includes you." A tinge of pink appeared on her pale cheeks.
Hans's response was to pull her closer, grabbing her other arm. "You don't have to fail."
"But-"
"If you do, then I do. I love you Elsa. Don't push me away again, OK?"
Elsa stared, shocked, and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder, the words, "I love you too," barely audible.
Duke clapped slowly. "How sweet. Moving on!"
Kristoff sighed. So it all comes down to this. I don't want to! I don't have to! But if I do... And if Anna does... And then... He tooke a deep breath, and shouted-
"I love you!"
Anna had spun around, yelling at the same time as he had, fists balled.
"Wait, what?! You do?"
"You do?!"
There was an awkward pause, followed by Anna throwing her arms around Kristoff in a hug that could have rivalled Rapunzel's. He in response gentle pulled her close, glad that there was at least one good part of his day.
"Well then! Experiment success!" Duke whipped out a notepad and began to scribble down something, mumbling the words. "Kids... Will... Do... Anything... Under... Pressure!"
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Flynn and Rapunzel broke apart, the former yelling, "This wasn't a test?!", and the later grabbing her home ec frying pan, glaring.
Hans shrugged, and Elsa covered her mouth, trying not to laugh at the expression on Anna's face. Hiccup just rolled his eyes and muttered, "Figures."
Anna marched up to Duke, grabbed him by his collar and pinned him to the white board, yelling, "If I hadn't have just gotten a new boyfriend, you would be dead!"
"Ditto, you bastard," Flynn grumbled. "Eh, except that I have a girlfriend."
Rapunzel sighed, and whacked Duke on the head with her frying pan. "You deserve it."
Duke decided not to do the experiment the following year.
How was it? Please leave a review!
Oh yeah, this was based on Starran's Pokémon fiction called 'Question 7 and a Half'. Check it out; it's way better than this one!
No copyright infringement intended. All rights to Disney and Dreamworks for the characters, and Starran for the idea.
Peace out, and Merry Christmas!
~Hero
