Postscripts: Threshold
Another Five Minute Voyager Squigglet courtesy of TaTTooGaL
In sickbay, Janeway and Paris are recuperating from their ... um... experience. Paris tries not to look at Janeway too hard.Janeway: (walking over to Paris, who looks uncomfortable) Well, well, well, Mr Paris.
Paris: (gulps)Erm... Hehehe, Captain. *tries to fake a nonchalant grin* You're not... um... mad at me for kidnapping you, right? And for what happened after... *coughs* I mean, you couldn't blame me, right?
Janeway: *pins Paris with a level-47 Death Glare* You're very fortunate we're in Sickbay, and I'm recuperating from major gene therapy. Otherwise... by now, your insides would be outside, your brains would be all over, and your head would be being bounced by my minbari pike.
Paris blanches visibly and tries to disappear into a bulkhead
Paris: Oops. I suppose "Sorry" isn't going to get me anywhere?
EMH: (walks by) Now, now, captain, don't aggravate my patients. *tsks* Don't you know that unnecessary displays of violence are a sign of pregnancy? *chortles at his own joke*
Janeway, on the other had, is less than amused by his joke. As a matter of fact, the remark aggrandizes her already VERY bad mood. And where redheads are concerned, this is bad news. VERY bad.
Janeway: (approaches the Doctor slowly and dangerously)That. Was. NOT. Funny.
EMH: Oh, it wasn't? *sniffs the air* I smell something in the air... someting which smells like...embarassment!
Janeway: (to Paris) You know, Lieutenant, I think it's time we did some reprogramming of the Doctor... with a VERY LARGE BAT'LETH!
EMH: (backs away from Janeway) Oh, come on, Captain, you wouldn't do that, you'd miss me!
Janeway: (picks up a trusty phaser rifle from under a biobed) I. Never. Miss. *raises rifle and aims it at EMH*
EMH: (Sensing REAL danger) Computer, deactivate Emergency Medi-
Janeway: Computer, belay that command. Captain's orders. *gives the Doctor a smouldering level-51 Death Glare* I've been waiting too long for an oppurtunity like this. *grins maliciously* Computer, open parameter files for the Emergency Medical Hologram.
A very long pause
Janeway: Computer, open the dang parameter files for-
Computer voice: Warning. This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. Details: A fatal exception fault at OE 14243.45.
Janeway: What the heck?!?
As the Doctor fades out of exsistence, we see him mouthing the words "Thank heaven for small favors... no make that BIG favors..."
In the background, Paris doesn't try to conceal the disappointment in his loud "Dang!"
Janeway: *shaking her fist in the air* Damnable WindowLCARS 2370! It can't even open thirty teraquads of data decently... Well, Doctor, count yourself lucky this time. But I'll get you the next time- and you can take my word for that! *storms out of sickbay with Paris behind her, muttering "Damn you, Bill Gates, damn you..."*
The End Don't ask. Don't even try.
