Remind and Regret

Chapter 1- A Mistake

The loud cheering or everyone in the crowd, the ringing of bells, the theme that organ played for the people around. Cheerfulness was clear in the very air. Everyone was waiting happily, chatting with others and dressed in their best gowns and dresses.

Behind the cheery crowds and the happy aura, there lied a feeling of stress for the one individual. But what bride wouldn't be stressed or nervous on their wedding? Nervousness was a given for anyone that had a team of people circling his like vultures to make sure he looked perfect for his occasion. If he wasn't stressed enough then Kiku would politely tell someone that the corset he had on was the most painful thing he's ever worn. But he had enough on his mind.

Kiku had the nerves and the stress that a typical bride would be diagnosed with. Though the man had more than wedding issues on hand. The point of marriage is what gave him the feeling that he would pass out. Not for a good reason. Kiku would barely ever say the words "Love" except if he meant it.

Unlike his Italian friend, the small black haired man thought that the term "I Love You" was a deep commitment. Surely not to be used for co-workers or friends. Now, that he was going to be wed, he could use the words. Also he would mean them. The man that had proposed to him knew that the word "Love" would come later. That could be what triggered the wheat blond to fall for the small Japanese in the first place. Or it could just be what their bosses set up.

Either way, the love of the couple would grow with time. Love at first sight or falling for someone the second you meet wasn't a reality that Kiku knew of. He wasn't even certain if Arthur loved him back. This could be a wedding set completely by their bosses or set completely from love. The only way to know would be to confront Arthur himself about it.

This is what stressed Kiku the most, after the vows were exchanged and a kiss was given – this was also Kiku's first kiss. That could be another thing that stressed him out. But a petty kiss was the last of his troubles- He would have to ask Arthur about if the wedding was for their love or for their nations. Even if they felt no love, or if the wedding ceremony was made just for the sake of their countries, Kiku and Arthur wouldn't be able to do anything about it. The small Japanese man would do anything in his power to try to stop an eternity of a loveless marriage, even if it meant to fall for someone that he didn't love.

His head was torn from his thoughts as he felt as if his ribs were about to crack from the pressure. He let out a small plead to the men around him to please loosen it for him. Which they did, if only by a very small amount. It still felt better though.

Soon, he would be stepping down the vivid carpet. In his wedding dress, he would hold a bouquet of Chrysanthemum and a bunch of Tudor roses mixed with them. The two flowers of their countries, in a bunch together. It resembled the bond that they would have from here on. The two lives would be one together just how the flowers were one together in the bouquet.

The sky would be as blue and clear as can be, white flowers and streamers would be wrapped around the pillars and the flower petals from the Sakura would be scattered everywhere, flowing to the ground at a calm pace. The red carpet would be covered in the blossoms, the red would be barely visible under the blanket of pink... He would tread over them slowly as his dress trailed behind him.

Everyone would watch as he made his way down the aisle. Especially the one that he was walking to. Arthur. He would be in a black tuxedo. It would have a bright and big chrysanthemum on the front right side of his chest. To match the Tudor roses that were placed carefully in Kiku's raven hair. The emerald eyes of his would watch in pure awe as the bride came down the carpet of flower petals. That was his bride, Arthur would repeat in his head. The beauty of his new spouse would make him blush. He would smile to himself and for the few in the crowd that kept their eyes on the groom to see his reaction, other than the bride in his dress.

Kiku would look over to his side, the man that had his arm would look back. Yao would be dressed in a tuxedo a lot like the groom they were trekking to. But minus the flower. He would look back and none of them would comment the tears streaming down the brunette's cheeks. A silent exchange would be made before Kiku would give his big brother a hug. The years of fighting and hatred would be put behind them for this one day. Today Yao only felt happy for the personification of Japan.

The walk to the pedestal would be the longest and the shortest walk Kiku had ever been through. It was too long before he could hold the gentleman's hand and stare into his eyes while he felt the other squeeze his hand for reassurance. It was too short for a bride knew that after the party had vanished and after the friends had long since gone home he would have matters to confront the other with. His beating heart wouldn't stop for either scenario. Kiku felt as if he was about to pass out.

When he finally stepped on the raised platform with the priest and the man he would love either way, he would stare into the green eyes that shone back and wouldn't feel anyone else there. He wouldn't take into consideration the people the witnessed anything. He wouldn't take into consideration of the possibility that the man beside him didn't love him back, neither of them would think of that.

Because even if they didn't feel love normally, on this occasion they loved the other more than anything. They would have love for each other on such an occasion. Many vows would be spoken between the two of them. Their eyes never stopping from getting lost in the other's while they spoke. Everyone in the crowd would lean forward ever so slightly to make sure they caught every word said. The priest would say the things he needed. The two would be asked the question on a lifetime. Both would reply without any hesitation, still staring into the brown and green in front of them.

"I do."

"I do."

"You may now kiss the bride"

Kiku's first kiss would be a loving and gentle kiss to the lips, a kiss to seal the commitment they were both in. A kiss to seal the love that would grow and blossom just as the Sakura did. A kiss to seal the life that the two would be in together for the rest of their days. A kiss to ask the skies above if they could have a successful marriage and a happy life together.

The people around would all cheer, everyone would smile. Even Yao or Feliciano who had burst into tears at the loving and perfectly executed wedding. Even the people like Ludwig who only smiled if for a very good reason would find it in himself to smile now. The people like Ivan who would smile sadistically on any occasion would smile sweetly and in happiness for the two newlyweds, while scooting over on the bench to reach over to a crying Yao and pat him on the back reassuringly.

The wedding would be a success. Kiku was sure it would be. The wedding was pefect except for the one problem and miracle that would always be on the top of his thoughts, even he wanted it to be or not.

America, Alfred F. Jones.

Alfred was Kiku's best friend, Alfred would help Kiku whenever he needed it. Alfred would be there to give Kiku a hug if his favorite character died in a manga or anime. To tell him that it was okay and that he was the hero and it was his job to make Kiku feel special when he was sad whenever said raven haired man would ask what it was Alfred had hugged him for. It would take getting used to with the social and physical contact that he would have with Arthur after the wedding but with Alfred he would feel natural with it. Alfred would always comfort Kiku if he needed any.

Alfred was KIku's hero.

This was the stress. The wedding was set up so long ago. Arthur had gotten on one knee and showed Kiku a commitment and a question. It was KIku's fault that he didn't say "No". It was all his fault that he would marry Arthur now and leave Alfred behind like he never mattered. The worst part is that Kiku knew the love that Alfred felt for him, it wasn't a matter of never knowing.

The American had confessed just three weeks before the horrible and perfect day that Arthur had proposed. He had confessed that he had admired Kiku for longer than anyone could have guessed. The Japanese man hadn't replied. He hadn't told Alfred that he loved him back and had for countless years, he also didn't say that he has a love for another, or any other distrustful excuse. He just ran away. Away from it as if that wouldn't hurt the other at all, or if it would give him more time to think.

The word "Love" was a commitment in itself, and he was prepared for the commitment of loving Alfred, or marrying him. Or having a life with him. To repay the hero that lit up his world and made him feel special and loved back, Kiku would do anything for Alfred. If only he realized himself sooner. If only he had a chance to go back and confess to Alfred as well. Or to let him know that he didn't want to be married to a man he did not love yet, even if Arthur might love Kiku. Kiku's heart was stolen by Alfred F. Jones. The hero only committed to good deeds committed the crime of making the innocent Japanese fall for him.

The lovely fantasy of a perfect wedding wasn't at all the reality Kiku knew he would face. He knew that he would have to explain to Alfred. He wanted to see Alfred. He wanted to see him and to smile at him and then to be able to give his hero a hug. A hug to forget and erase all of these marriage plans and change the past that haunted him so. To go back to the day of the confession, to take the ring that Arthur offered him and ask Alfred to share this day with him. To be the groom of this wedding instead.

For that, Kiku could only wish that he could have another chance to undo everything and go back to the day three weeks ago when the chance to get the life he wanted and repay Alfred for everything he has done was still in arm's reach.

But KIku messed up and now that chance was gone.

That was going to haunt him forever. He couldn't change that. The guilt and regret he had was going to follow him like his own shadow and there wasn't anything he could do about it. But, he would have Arthur to help him through it. Even if he wasn't the man that Kiku had dreamt of and loved already. They would make it work.

Arthur had sent invitations to their wedding to everyone in the Allies, Axis, and most other neutral countries as well. A temporary truce was called on all wars. Nobody would be fighting or arguing on such an occasion. Arthur had worked so hard to set up this wedding for the two of them. It would be a sin to think of anyone else on a wedding day. But whatever he thought of always brought Kiku's thoughts back to the man whom he had loved first. Who he had gone against and most likely broke the innocent man's heart.

The man sighed as he stood. Staring back into the clear and clean mirror in front of him. He still doesn't know how he got put into a dress for the ceremony or much less why he agreed to it. He could feel the cream corset under squeezing his ribs together.

Minus the pain he did really look like a queen, or a princess. He had a long and white dress that had all types and colors all over it. A mix of the two cultures didn't look too bad in retrospect in the dress. Along with that all he had a band of chrysanthemum and Sakura that went through his raven hair, along with a barrette to keep some of the hair behind his ear. Everything seemed to match the dress. Said dress flowed perfectly enough to almost look like it was made from flowing flower blossoms. With light shades of reds and pinks stranded around it, he looked as if a fairy or another mythical creature. It almost seemed surreal.

He stood and stared at his emotionless reflection. He felt hollow, incomplete. It was Kiku's wedding. He should have every right to be happy, or nervous. But he wasn't happy about the occasion. And his nerves far stretched that of a typical bride. He had more things on his mind than that of today. His mind stretched far into the past and the future.

The near past such as the confession and the proposal weeks after. The far past such as the incident that he had caused long ago in the heat of war. How he had hurt his own brother, how it was Alfred to knock sense into him. The near future, like after the ceremony and reception. Kiku would have to ask Arthur if he loved him or not. Or the far future, pondering if he would have a nice life with Arthur together. If he would grow to love him at all.

He was knocked out of his thoughts by a loud knock on the door to the dressing chamber he was in. Kiku was a little embarrassed about anyone seeing him in this dress of his, but everyone would see it soon enough. He murmured a small "Come in..." while still staring into his blank face. Hoping that he could get the other on the opposite side of the door to hear him. When they didn't he glared at the door through the mirror. Blaming the door for his problems and taking his anger at himself out on it. His rare little fits of rage starting to seep in. "Come in." he said with much more emphasis to his voice.

The door opened slowly, almost as if the one opening it was pondering to keep opening it or to close it and run off. After a few more seconds of the slow opening a head popped over the side and gasps. Kiku smiles slightly as he sees the head of his elder brother in the reflective glass. "Hello, Yao-san."

He could only see the other's eyes. The rest of his body and face was hidden behind the door. The two honey eyes were wide and staring at the reflection of his little Kiku in his beautiful dress. It may just be the mirror but Kiku thought that he saw a glistening in Yao's eyes. He could also hear a louder than necessary sniffle from him. Then saw the head disappear behind the door again. It was best to just let the man get his feelings out now.

Kiku focused back on his face and saw the small smile he had spread on his lips. It faded quickly. He was going to need a smile more than that if he was going to step down the aisle. Even if it might not be one-hundred percent real.

Hid eyes went back to the other once he came out from behind the door. Red and puffy eyes to show that he had been crying like the sentimental fool he was. But Kiku loved his brother no matter how an idiot he thought he could be. But who was Kiku to talk about idiocy, anyway? He looked at his brother through the glass and tried to give a happier smile. To get rid of the negative feelings and try to keep them from tainting his smile. If he couldn't be happy he could look happy.

"There is no need to cry." He smiled sweetly through his words, it was a success.

"But I can't help it! Just look at you! You're getting married! Married!" He yelled back at and pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kiku faltered for a second before striking back up with the biggest grin of reassurance and cheeriness that he could muster. Anything to convince his brother that he was okay and that he was happy about the scenario. Anything to hide what he really felt. "I am." He replied with a small chuckle.

"It's no fair, how come you're getting married before me? Not that I want to marry anyone, I can handle myself thank you very much. But it still isn't fair!" Kiku let out another laugh at the other's antics and his argument. The silliness of the other never failed to make the black haired chuckle. Or it would at least cheer him up. "I am sorry. If you wanted me to wait you should have spoken up."

"Well, the wedding is already happening! Like hell I would stop it now! I'm not that bad of a brother, you know!" Yao pouted more, but the Japanese could easily see by the way Yao's lip twitched once or twice that he was smiling under that. He was just trying to be a tough guy right now. In war he was strong and had the best Allies, but in social conversations the smaller brother knew he was just about as good at them as he was himself.

"I know that you are. You are a good brother to me. Thank you. ". He let that slip out while he had so much clouding his mind. There are many things that would most likely slip out before this ceremony. Until the time he exited this room to walk down the carpet he knew that he would have a hard time keeping thoughts down.

He could tell that he surprised his brother by looking back to his face in the mirror and seeing it with wide eyes and his mouth hung open. Not to mention that his eyes were starting to glisten again. It seemed like he tried to speak or respond to that but couldn't get the words out. Kiku just kept practicing his sweet smile and was quite proud of himself for it. "Well… Thank you, Kiku." The brunette laughed out, like he had a pressure lifted off of his chest. He smiled back with as much happiness as the other had ever seen him. Kiku could only be envious of the perfect smile that Yao got with hardly any trying at all.

"Thank you too, Yao-san." He still mentally noted how that other smiled like that. He would need as much help as he could get to pull off the smile for this wedding. At least his long-haired brother would be there to help him out and hold his hand through it. Whether he knew he would be or not.

"Kiku, I would like to well... Congratulate you. I already warned Arthur! If he hurts you… may the gods have mercy on his soul."

"You don't have to scare him… I don't think Arthur-kun would break my heart. Please don't do that..." He said with a smaller and sheepish smile. He was excepting that.

Yao laughed and stepped more into the room finally. Ignoring the statement and plea in favor of the bride in front of him. Walking up to his little brother and admiring said other in the mirror. He looked over Kiku from the dress to the perfect porcelain face of his "You really do look like royalty today, Kiku."

Kiku thought about the compliment for a second before smiling more genuinely and letting a small blush creep to his cheeks. Which was covered by a small amount of artificial blush that was placed on him earlier. Kiku didn't complain about that though, he knew that Arthur would have a small amount of make-up on as well.

"Thank you again… It means a lot to me that you would be here for me today." What he didn't say was that the emotional support was the only thing that really kept him from falling apart. This wouldn't be the first time that his elder family member and guardian had kept his from falling apart. He had had a long crying session after the time he hurt Yao, he had to have a certain blond help him to feel better after. But it's not like the black haired man would admit that out loud.

"Of course I would be here for you! I wouldn't miss this for the world. I also told you that I'm not that bad of a brother, sheesh. You're not even as old as me and you're losing your memory already!" He said with a huff and placed his hands on his hips. The pose of a scolding mother, or in this case, an over-protective older sibling.

Kiku felt that he smiled once more. He might have had more smiles today than his whole life combined. Even if a few weren't real... Wasn't that the point of a wedding for someone like him though? This smile was real once again. "Yes. I must be really old to be getting into something like this, aren't I?" He said with a small tone of bittersweet. He knew that he was a nation and that he still had many centuries before anything like death was a possibility. But just having the knowledge that you're old gives many nameless emotions.

"We're all old, Kiku. Don't give me that tone! You haven't even reached puberty in a nation's life to me! You better live long like me so that you can actually say that you're old and mean it, okay?"

Kiku gave a genuine laugh and turned from the mirror to look into his brother and past guardian's face, opposed to the reflection of it. "I promise. I'll get really old, just for you." He said with a content sigh.

"You better, Mister Honda!" Yao once again smiled back, his joking tone made the aura of stress and regret in the world wash away for one of happiness and the joyful part of the wedding seemed to reach Kiku for a split second. Yao was the master at making Kiku see the optimistic part of things like this. Said Japanese man couldn't be happier with it.

They didn't speak for the next few moments. Just taking the time to enjoy each other's sweet smiles. It was a great moment. The most memorable of times sometimes don't have to have long and encouraging words or actions in them. It could be something as simple as a small talk about age, it seems. Don't let the world's illusions trick you.

They stood until they both knew that it was the time. The crowd outside was waiting for them. It was Kiku's time to go out and see what his future would be like. Time to seal the deal that he had so stupidly agreed to. His mind was a hurricane as he grabbed Yao's arm to hold. Either Kiku would be wed today to the man that asked for his heart, or he would be swept away and saved by his hero who didn't ask but stole his heart instead. They would see.