A/N: Entire thing co-written with Kirame90.

...

"...aaand that's what that was. Like I just finished explaining, yesterday was to make sure those 'respawn' dealies we put in your brains worked. Your real jobs start tomorrow. If you have any problems about this, please direct your concerns directly to my fists! If you have questions, direct them to your administrator's version of Bidwell here because I don't care. That is all. Welcome to Mann Co!"

The burly Australian wrestling seven cougars on the small television set became a wall of static and the mousy woman in the purple dress next to it pushed a button to eject the tape. Also turning off the set she then turned from the wooden table against the far wall of a somewhat shoddy war room, facing nine rather unimpressed-looking mercenary men.

Her hands modestly clasped a clipboard before her, but her smile was friendly as she informed, "My name would be Miss Pauling. I work mostly behind-the-scenes with Administrator, but I'm also here to handle all your problems. Did anyone have questions?"

No one had any real ones, simply being miffed about finding out the hard way that their mirroring kill targets kept coming back and that they were suddenly unable to stay dead as well. The only one who raised his hand to speak was the youngest man, sporting a red t-shirt, dogtags and a cocky smirk. "Yeah, I got a question: you single? Cuz I noticed you haven't been able to take them pretty eyes off-a dis." His fingers all spread as they indicated his smooth, boyish face.

"If there's nothing, then I guess I'll leave you to get acquainted," Miss Pauling continued to smile, adjusting her horn-rimmed glasses and ignoring Scout. She hadn't looked at him once since shaking his hand. "You can kill each other while in the base, so be careful please. Leaving base property will mean you're outside the respawn sensor and only have one life again. Other than that, pick a room for yourself if you haven't yet and be ready to report to the mess hall at oh-seven-hundred. Nice to meet you all."

As she departed, the men shifted a little awkwardly now that they had to socialize. They really had to live with each other? They didn't know anything about each other, other than what they'd seen on the field yesterday. Well this was just peachy.

"She digs me," Scout assured everyone as he stared dreamily at the exit. The others could already tell the boy was going to be annoying.

One man, however, had immediately taken the freedom to interact as he stepped quickly to approach the largest party present. Medic had gotten a chance to see how this man worked and that he would be practically perfect as a field partner, but he was interested in more than that. All of the men around him looked like fun specimens and the doctor couldn't wait to have his hands at them, their minds and their insides; in fact, the one in the flame suit trying to hug his fellows now was also quite curious, but the giant Russian...he was powerful. Strong. Tough. Big. There was a lot of potential there, in many areas.

"Guten tag, mein Freund," the German greeted flirtatiously over the circular rims of his glasses, "I hope sincerely zhat you like men, but if not, I suppose I vill just have to convince you." Oh, the large man was as handsome as he was intriguing; large hazel eyes, perfectly rounded yet hard features, such expressive muscle structure. Medic wanted to lay him as badly as he wanted to cut through his guts.

His arms crossed on his chest, Heavy had listened quietly through the presentation Mr. Hale had kindly provided for them. The Australian looked like a strong man. Such a worthy opponent he would be. The Russian made a mental note to keep an eye out for any opportunities to fight this man.

Once the little lady had left the room, he glanced around himself at the eight men he was supposed to call his teammates from now on. Such babies. How were they even able to fight with real weapons when half of them looked like twigs? Especially the tiny, loud one. Then there was this masked, smoking one. How would he carry his own Sascha with those weak arms? The tallest one had big hands, but otherwise he reminded the Russian of a flagpole. Next there were two short ones. Not as thin as the three previous, but small otherwise. Then there were the black one and the screaming one. They looked like they knew how to fight like real men. They even had real weapons with them, too. Then last, but not least, there was—

The giant blinked when the doctor was suddenly talking to him. The things Medic spoke were even more surprising. The whole room was suddenly quiet as Scout's sex life as their eyes were on the two. Heavy hated how his cheeks felt warmer all of a sudden.

"Leetle man is stoopid," he snorted, turning his head away from the German. What kind of thing was that to say when they had just met?

Medic's eyes closed briefly as he tutted in amusement. Convincing it was. He enjoyed every eye in the room being on him as he maintained visual contact with the large man's face. They would each get their own turn. "Actually, I vas top of all my classes in Stuttgart. I vas also zhe top physician for a gute while at my old practice, until zhis razher unfortunate incident got out about a man und his skeleton being entirely out of his body...but I will tell you about zhat later. I assure, if nozhing else, I know my way around zhe male figure extremely vell..."

A sly glove had ghosted so lightly up the Russian's forearm it might have been a gentle breeze. Reactions from the others started to vary. The doctor sensed curiosity, stun, disgust...and interest. Hm. Now who could that be coming from? He let his gaze flick for a second to find the masked agent next to the hobo in a helmet who had forced his way into the meeting. Was this team so easy? Medic smirked and held it as his lids turned sultry and went back to drilling Heavy's pink cheek.

The Russian glanced at the doctor in the corner of his eye before snorting again and walking off. He'd have plenty of time getting to know to his team later. It was Sascha's bedtime and his little baby needed her rest. Without another word the giant took his leave and headed for his new bedroom. He felt the team's eyes in his back until he was out of sight.

"What the hell was that crap?!" the youngest of them exclaimed, turning his wide eyes to their new doctor. So he was, like, gay? No way he'd ever take his shirt off for any medical tests!

For standing still so long unguarded, the doctor became the first victim of the suited man trying to give out hugs. Being surprised and then chuckling Medic answered, "Zhat vas called being friendly, jungling. Vould you like me to teach? You might vant to decide quickly, as demand seems to be spiking." Turning to the person over his back he inquired, "Und who might you be?"

Two syllables perked from the optical mask on his shoulder but the German couldn't understand them. "Firo?" The shorter party shook his head exaggeratedly and backed up a couple steps before bringing his hands together and launching a brief burst of flame to the room's center. Scout now screamed and flinched animatedly, not getting a chance to deny the doctor's freaky offer. Where the heck had that fire come from?! "What, now we got a freakin' pyromaniac?" The huggy man bounced excitedly and clapped after pointing eagerly to show Scout had gotten it right.

Medic found his brow quirking. Perhaps that man, if it really was a man, was just a certain kind of special. He would really have to look into it at some point, but right now there was still more suggestive groundwork to be laid. Three down, five to test.

"Cheers, mate!" The dark man with an eyepatch waved his half-full bottle in the air before taking a few gulps. He offered some to the German, but since the taller man didn't seem to be very interested, he pulled his arm back. "So, yoo're da medic, eh? Eet's good ta have one o' those een da team, ya knoe? Ah mean, don't ever go ta work for a wizard withoot havin' a bloody medic with ya! Ya lose yer eye, mate! See?" He pointed at the patch through his Scottish slurring. He was pushed aside by Soldier who kept a close eye on the doctor from under his oversized helmet. "Listen here, sister. This is America! We are Americans! As your duty, you WILL heal my ass whenever I need you to! You got that, cupcake?!" He barked with his loud, hoarse voice.

"Oh, I do not zhink zhat vill be a problem," a pass-offish hand was waved while the German smiled coyly at these two. There was a slight glint in his eye as he found their sloshing and swaggering idiotically charming. "Und I vould expect zhe same from you, should my drift be caught. All of you." His eyes cast over the trio he'd yet to talk to. They'd each been rather quiet, like the Russian, but far less striking. The stringy one had nice sharp teeth and looked like he could provide a good grip. The one in the fancy suit seemed vain but still worth a shot. The goggled one in the hardhat actually felt a little boring. But you never knew.

"Eet ees a pleasure." Spy reached his hand to the healer when he walked towards the Frenchman. It was nice to meet an actual doctor in the middle of this bunch of madmen. The agent's eyes were sharp and he didn't seem to be able to let go of the cigarette in between his lips. Nearby, the tallest of the group didn't look very impressed. Fancy clothes or titles, it was all the same anyway. They alone weren't enough to ensure success on the field.

A kneading thumb ran over the agent's as Medic took Spy's glove with both of his, firmly and with purpose. "Mm. Yes, I certainly hope it vill be." A quick glance at the cigarette and he couldn't help mentioning, "Zhat is very unhealzhy you know. Uck. Poisonous filzh, even." He didn't care about the spy's well-being, but wondered what the man's lungs must look like and how often he was going to have to replace them. And what with?

"Oui, I am quite aware of zhat," the Frenchman nodded lightly. "Zhe forbidden fruit always tastes zhe best, non?" he continued, giving the German a meaningful look. He was sure everyone in the room knew what he meant.

"Yeh do realize yer comparin' fruit ta cancer sticks?" The Aussie next to the masked agent spoke up. The shorter one raised his eyebrow. "Excuze-moi? I do not remember saying anyzhing to you, monsieur." He gave Sniper a long, measuring look. "And, for your information, mon ami, eet was a figure of speech. I was not comparing my cigarettes to any fruit," he clarified. He did not like the bushman.

"Oh, I think he was," Scout chipped in. He hadn't been sure whether to wrinkle his nose or poke fun, but now it was too much. The way Spy had taken that weird comment...no way, could there be two gay guys here? The boy had such a big mouth but it still overflowed easily. "This whole room's startin' to feel like a big ol' fruit salad to me. What about you, huh Hardhat? You fruity too?" He'd bumped his elbow into the only man who hadn't spoken. He earned a glare and a light reprimanding smack upside the head, a clear southern scold ringing, "Boy, you shut yer yap..! A man's preference ain't nothin' to be ashamed of, nor anythin' to be interrogated about. Private matters are private for a reason."

Pyro had giggled over the little smack and came in to give the man who'd amused him a hug too. Scout wiggled his fingers and sarcastically bugged his eyes. "Oooo, yeah? Well sounds to me like someone's a little defensive. Hey look, ya even got a scary boyfriend right there..! Well as much as I'd love to stick around and enjoy the flirt-fest-oh wait, no I wouldn't. I'm gonna go find myself a room. See you losers later." With a click of the tongue and double trigger fingers he left. While the man in overalls hemmed to himself, Pyro darted to follow the youngest. Find a room? Oh boy! He wanted to be sure to get something next to at least one new friend!

Medic had liked Spy's reaction, but noted with disappointment that the engineer was quite probably every bit as boring as he seemed, and the Aussie sounded a bit slow on uptakes. Scout...well he was clearly a brat and needed work, but was a scrawny virgin worth it? He found himself thinking about Heavy. Oh, now there was an opposite. He could probably crush the runt's spine in his massive hand. Mmm, the Russian was definitely going to be the doctor's first prey, no matter what. Just the thought of manipulating that powerhouse was giving him goosebumps.

Heavy was putting Sascha to bed. He had built her a tiny little one that was next to his own. Just a humble little thing for his beloved minigun, but it had to do for now. Next the man would take a shower. They had common showers downstairs but the giant didn't really mind sharing. Those were the rules and he was going to follow them. He stripped to his undershirt and boxers, grabbed his towel and left to find said showers.

On his way he couldn't help the fact that his mind was constantly slipping back to the doctor. The smaller man was older, but he had sharp features. Icy blue eyes, perfect teeth when he grinned...Heavy shook his head. Such stupid thoughts. The German was eager and attractive, but why should he be interested in the Russian?

It didn't take long for Heavy to manage finding the showers. The base was like a maze, but that wasn't enough to confuse him. His mind kept racing when he undressed. He thought about his former lovers. He hadn't had many, thanks to his big size. While some had rejected him for simply being too fat - a real man had to eat! - the ones who had ended up bed with him...they had been hurt. Not only was the man himself quite huge, his manhood was also massive. He had never had sex twice with a same person. Never. He wasn't sure what the healer saw in him, but for his own safety it was going to be better to stay away from Heavy.

Medic and the others finished talking quickly enough. There hadn't really been much to say past introductions that the doctor cared about. He wasn't fond of the emotional side of human interaction, could read personalities rather quickly, and was sure he'd hear plenty of stories in due time whether willing or not. Now he entered the medical ward, the entirety of which he'd been quick to claim for himself, and felt a wave of relieving familiarity wash over him. Taking off his coat and gloves he let a pleasant sigh escape him. This was truly his element. He couldn't wait to dirty the place up with smatterings of instruments and organs. It would be like breaking in a new car. His room across the way he didn't think much of so long as it would be a quiet place to escape and read. His office and waiting area were mere necessities. But the operating room...oh yes. He was already loving this one and smiled easily as he called in greeting, "Hello my Lieblings! Daddy is here! Is everyone settling in alright?"

Thirty-seven doves flapped, shifted and cooed at the call. Medic counted them in satisfaction as a handful came to him and settled about his head and arms. Good, no one had had run away yet. These birds were his closest companions, and that was perfectly fine with him. They listened far better than humans and their constant curiosity gave him something to talk to. He'd never thought himself to be a pet person, but then he didn't really consider them pets. He just happened to think stealing that wedding van as he escaped Stuttgart had been a happy accident. He chuckled now to himself as he wondered if anyone would care to hear that story. It was quite funny, but his sense of humor was often lost on others. Another reason birds were so much better.

Turning to one now he started talking sweetly, "Oh, vhat a couple days zhis has been, ja Socrates? So much deazh. Vonderful. Yeees, yes it has been my little friend. Und Daddy's even found himself somezhing of interest on his team..! I know, such a surprise! But he really looks quite fun..!" He tickled choice doves' chests affectionately as he opted to continue unpacking his belongings from the crates they'd joined him in. He had a lot of stuff. As he did this he shared his first real impressions about his new teammates. The one he discussed most was Heavy, his chatter turning a bit energetic in regards to him. Gott, was he really that eager to get his hooks into a simple slab of meat? At the end of the day it was just a man. The German chalked it up to time gone without a lay and simply never having seen someone so able and willing to cause pain. He liked both watching and experiencing pain, though the first a bit more.

After the Russian was done showering, he dried himself and wrapped his towel around his waist. On his way back he managed to scare Scout half to death as the boy was walking around the corridors, looking for his way to the showers himself. The tiny one was awfully jumpy. Just seeing a man's bare chest made him twist his face and make stupid gagging sounds. Heavy ignored him.

Back in his room he pulled on a fresh pair of underwear and tested his new bed. It complained weakly under his weight, but other than that it was fine. The giant decided he had earned his rest. With a quiet groan he closed his eyes, relaxing and going through the day's events. Medic's smirk kept popping into his mind and that made sleeping impossible. Why would the doctor want him when he could have any gay man for sure? Surely the man hadn't sensed his sexuality, had he? No, that was impossible! Heavy did a good job hiding his feelings and sexual desires. Being as big as him he practically had to do so.

He found himself rolling back and forth in his bed. He couldn't believe it. He had killed people recently and the only thing keeping him awake was the German. It was unbearable. And like it wasn't bad already, his mind started slowly filling up with ideas on what he would like to do to the smaller man if they ever went to bed together. In the end the Russian kicked the blanket and his underwear aside angrily and grabbed his stiffing member. He had thought he had already gotten used to dealing with sexual tension.

The doctor's brow furrowed as he leaned back and realigned his spine, head rolling. Damn he was old. Healthy as could be, but lifting and carrying was not something any middle-aged man's back appreciated. If he'd been able, he'd have replaced his long ago. His thoughts touched briefly on the team's engineer. Guh, with how much that man hefted contraptions he really hoped he wouldn't become like a repair shop for the laborer's spine. He loved messing with insides, no doubt about that, but he didn't like just performing stupid little fixer-uppers. He wanted to mess. Tinker. Experiment freely.

Thinking of experiments, he recalled the project he'd started putting together after that first battle. He'd spent most of his time since on it and it was looking like a strong prototype. A couple more hours tonight and he might have it ready for pitching as early as tomorrow. Grinning toothily to himself, he located what looked like a gun made out of a blender with bits of tubing popping out everywhere and worked on it until he felt sleep was needed.

Some doves followed as he crossed the hall to sizeable quarters lined with shelves of books, instruments, a desk and sexual toys. His eyes flicked casually to those as he strode towards the bed. He was tired, but there was always time for a quick one, wasn't there? He went to the toy shelf and let his hand hover to find the box with his cock ring. Then he picked up his favorite rod, one of impressive size, and went to have a lie down as gently cooing, sleepy birds dotted his headboard. For some reason he felt like taking something huge, and not letting himself release too quickly over it. In no time the German had rid himself of his glasses as well as lower layers and worked himself to hardness, quickly slipping the ring into place and grabbing for the object of penetration. He let out a strong series of loud cries and foreign cusses after wetting the thing and forcing it inside himself. It would plunge fast and hard and he imagined something that must be even bigger attached to a certain Russian. When he let himself finish it would be harsh, jolting and extremely satisfying. He would sleep easily in contentment.