What should of happened in the almost kiss, well, what I thought would happen based on the trailer. Hope you like. The characters belong to the BBC; I only own the words I have described them with
The candle between them flickered, casting shadows across his face as he sighed, and watched his own hands, interlinked, strong, placed on the table as he firmly averted her gaze, although he had no reason to be down here now, her fingers idle in abandonment of her sowing, as all the while she studied him - this glorious man, his furrowed thick brow and dark eyes downcast, assiduously following the deeply carved lines on the wooden table. All was quiet around them, the late hour assured that the rest of the staff were asleep, the night windy against the window panels, but only enough to remind them of its glorious power, not too disturbing. She sighed, crestfallen, and feeling older than she was. This caught the man opposite her attention, and he looked up, finally.
"Is something the matter Anna?" his eyes expressing worry, and the delicious tone of his voice only saddened Anna more.
"Nothing, Mr Bates. I am all but done in." Lie "And it is late, I'll be going to bed now." Anna rose from the chair and Mr Bates with her, holding her gaze. "Goodnight" She breathlessly murmured, and turned to leave him alone in the kitchen.
"Anna, please?" she turned to face him, slowly, and the wonderful look in his eyes, and the soft expression of adoration on his face frustrated her beyond her understanding. "I'm worried about you" he continues "you have been in this disposition all night."
"Mr Bates , you have already made your position clear, and therefore, thank you, but you need not enquire about my health, for it is not your responsibility to worry about me' She did not mean to be so curt with him, but this dance that he was leading her in, slow tentative, yet exhausting – she was so tired of it all, and while she thought she had not noticed that he had crept round nearer her while she thought on him. Facing her, he thought she was utterly beautiful; the whimsically free strand of her luxurious blonde hair flirted against her rosy cheek, of her petite young face, and how he long to brush it with his thumb...too old...not worthy of her...
The way he looked at her, was the only reason she had not fled to her room, stilled on her feet.
"Anna". Oh the tone of his voice was so low and tender.
"I don't understand Mr bates. You look at m with such affection, and talk to me with such endearment. You make me laugh, and are so gentlemanly towards me. I would not have declared that I was in love with you without thinking that you might return my feelings, alas, I must have been reading you wrong, Sir, goodnight, again'.
Before she had the chance to turn he had taken an eager step forward and in haste touched her hand with his, sparking warmth, a connection with her at the meeting of their skin.
"You are right to be angry with me, Anna, I do not deny you that, but do not doubt, please never doubt, how I feel, you are so wrong there". He gave a squeeze of her hand in response to her shinning eyes, he heart beating out the call to war, her smaller hand still eloped in his larger one, preparing himself to hurt her again, deny her, deny himself against his will, put her to her senses, he is too old...and so not worthy..."However Anna, I have not declared myself," he sighs, his breath so close to her, almost indecent, in this kitchen, alone at this time of night, "I can't...I can't...if you knew...I'm not a free man...my past –"
And all of a sudden, Anna knew, his exasperated stance and hopeless, defeated, broken speech was him pushing her away again. "Mr Bates." She interrupts; he looks at her, surprised to be cut off. "The past is not an indicator of your character to me, now, I said long ago, I could not judge you or any other man, and it would not change my opinion off you in the slightest." The honesty and naivety in her voice only suffices to make him sure of him denying her what he so desperately wants to give. The clock on the wall indicates quarter past midnight, and the eerie gloom of the moon creeps into the kitchen and observes, observes the couple diligently and wisely, the candle still flickers on with the draught.
Still holding her right hand with his left, "Anna, I am an old man, you deserve a young, capable, able bodied (he said with disappointment and bitterness seeping through) bachelor who can give you what you want, everything that your beauty and kindness deserves, because, Anna, you are so very beautiful.' And with that he raises her hand to his lips and brushes a kiss across her knuckles, "and I may not be around for very much longer, I think Thomas and O'Brian have seen to that."
Her eyes glaze over at his gentle words and declarations, with the accompanying half hearted smile he wore to try and lighten the mood of his rejection. Although it was not proper, and not in a lady like fashion, she drew her hand from his and placed it, pressing against the breast of his waistcoat, just underneath his heart, which continued drumming away to his familiar beat around her, she looked up at him directly.
"Mr Bates, it is you I want"
"Oh Anna" She lets her hand fall from him, needing it for her own protection, to recover from her vulnerable declaration, blinks heavily to numb the tears ready to fall. The look in his eyes has changed when she opens hers again, and is swept up in his adoring, serious expression – a look she has never seen in a man's eyes before, his eyes dark and diluted. Anna is not sure why and how he has got closer, but feels herself leaning in too, caught in the romantic sentiments of the last few midnight moments, both eyelids fluttering closed as he catches her bottom lip with his, committing it to memory, learning their shape and taste, moving to kiss her top lip too. She is frozen to his touch, too his love, and too her happiness at this moment, she insists that this is the most heartfelt, beautiful, slow kiss that there ever was, but is woken from her trance by his warm wide hand snaking round her waist, tentative and unsure, pulling her into him, closer. He pulls away gently as she begins to accept and respond.
"Sorry, Anna, I forgot myself" he is beating down a smile however, so he cannot be that sorry, and his flushed a little red at the neck, his smile reaches his eyes, a rare occasions and it only suits to make him even more handsome to her.
"It's ok" She blushes though her smile. "We should go to bed, or we shall not wake for tomorrows service call."
"You're right, Anna." They break eye contact and Mr bates takes the lonely candle to see them safely to their rooms, she is waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. She smiles at him generously, and they begin their accent together, him holding the candle tightly, white knuckled in the hand that so passionately wants to hold hers again. They reach their parting, where they cannot go any further together, and at the door where he so tenderly brought her a tray when she was ill, risking his job to care for her, neither know of what to do or say. Anna searched Mr bates eyes, tears forming in her own and a lump in her throat.
"Anna?" He questions.
"I do not think that I could bare it should you leave"
"No, no, nor could I, I think" he replies, in all honesty. It is all they need to say. Anna touches the crease of his arm lightly, inching closer, "Goodnight", she whispers, "Goodnight, Anna" he answers, and bends closer laying a brief kiss upon her rosy cheek, lingering to whisper into her hair "Sweet dreams". And they both know that they will have. ]
Reviews would be lovely, thank you Hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you think?
I love this paring. 3
