Pet the Kitty(One shot)

BE WARNED!!!
THIS FIC HINTS AT INAPROPPRIATE SEXUAL ACTS BETWEEN ROY MUSTANG AND EDWARD ELRIC. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ IT.
Oh, did I mention I don't own FMA? Cause, I don't. If I did...
he he...

Lynley AKA Ita-kun, AKA DemonicxTears gave me the idea when we were being perverted at school.

A storm raged on outside. Meanwhile, Edward Elric was drumming his fingers on his metal leg, wanting nothing more than to get out of Colonel Mustang's office and go home. Why did Ed even have to be there? His report was great. Well, okay, he left out a few minor details, but still...

The lights went out in Roy's office, while he was sitting beside Ed on the couch, chastising him for one thing or another. Great..Mustang and I are alone in the dark...could my life get any worse?
"Edward..." The sound of a zipper opening was heard under Roy's voice. "I need you to do me a favor."
Ed sighed "What now?"
"Pet the kitty."
"Huh?" Ed glared at Roy's outline skeptically. "You have a cat?"
Roy nodded "Yes" He reached for Ed's hand and brought it to warm skin.
"This...doesn't feel like a kitty. And why are you calling it a kitty? It's a cat."
"It's..a hairless cat."
"Uh...what?"
"A hairless cat. Peruvian."
"huh? I've never--"
"JUST DO IT FULLMETAL."
"Fine, fine." Ed rubbed the rough skin "Why am I petting it again?"
"To keep it calm. Pet it harder."
"Why?"
Roy sighed "Just trust me on this. This thing is high strung."
Ed continued petting, ocassionally stopping to scratch his nails against skin lightly. "It's yours?"
"Falman's."
"Oh." Ed petted in silence for a moment "Why doesn't it have any ears? It seems kinda...small for a cat." His eyes widened. Just what was he... petting?
"He's facing me, and" Roy cleared his throat. "You of all people shouldn't be talking about size."
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO MICROSCOPIC THAT--" Ed stopped, with drawing his hand quickly. "That's not a cat."
Roy sighed "Why do you say that? Of course it's a cat."
Ed shook his head "You forgetting who you're dealing with here. Al brings cats through like nobodies business. That doesn't feel or act like a cat. Not that I care, but you're sick for trying to get me to--"

The lights flickered back on.

"You were saying, Edward?" Roy scratched at the head of a small hairless cat sitting in his lap smugly. Ed felt his face go red, but he really couldn't help it.
".you tricked me into..."
Roy chuckled "It's not my fault you have such a perverted mind, Fullmetal."
"And to think I would've gone along with it too!"
"Is that so?"
Ed felt himself go even redder, if it was possible. "uh.."
"Fullmetal?"
Ed glared at him "Yeah?"
Roy smirked so widely it was almost a lewd sort of smile. "Turn the lights back off."
Ed gulped, but complied "Uh...you have a cat too?"
"Just shut up, Edward."
Ed smiled in the dark, making his way back to the couch. "You got it, Taisa." He tripped over the cat's carrying bag, his face landing in Roy's lap.
Roy snickered uncontrollably as Ed turned to face him in the dark, cut short by a metal fist colliding with the top of his head. "Why you little...:"

Ed bravely leaned at the colonel's face. "I'm not little...at least not everywhere, if you get my drift."

He was amazed with the speed his superior officer could rip leather. "Nice, Fullmetal...mind if I...pet it?"

Fifteen minutes later, an exausted Fullmetal groaned and rolled onto his stomach on the couch, looking at the hairless cat that seemed to have been watching him from the desk. "I am never gonna be able to look at a cat the same way again..."