Tseng was the epitome of efficiency. He always had been - meticulous, ordered, effective. That was why he was Head of the Turks. He had earned their respect. They knew he would stop at nothing to get every last detail which could affect the planning of the mission, would spend hours planning things to split-second timing, and would never, EVER take unnecessary risks with their lives.
He knew being a Turk was dangerous, everyone knew that. The life expectancy was poor, but he saw no reason to exacerbate the danger.
In all his years he had never got it wrong.
Except once.
The memories of that time still haunted him. In a way he had been glad that he had been the one captured. If only she hadn't been with him. She had been new, a rookie, she had trusted him to keep her safe, to protect her, to have foreseen and planned for every danger. But he had not envisaged the company. the violence. He had not envisaged the capture, the torture. He had not been able to protect her.
Still, here she was, alongside him still, working with him, never blaming him. He couldn't understand why,m wished she would blame him, but she never did. He was fighting against the guilt.
One day, whilst they were waiting on another mission, a stakeout after a target, she asked him why he was so awkward around her.
He shrugged. "I don't display emotion but you have seen my feelings. That makes me vulnerable. And I betrayed you."
She blinked "...betrayed me?"
He nodded, wordless, unable to meet her eye. She racked her brain trying to think of what he meant, then gasped and took his hand.
"You didn't betray me.. you never betrayed me... I thanked my lucky stars for you every day, without you I would have been dead."
"Without me you would not have been caught."
She shook her head firmly.
"No. Whoever went on that suicidal mission would have been caught anyway. You know that as well as I do. If it hadn't been for you I would have died. You protected me, even though you so obviously think you didn't. Please don't consider yourself a failure on my account. I know it's hard, because we penetrated each other's defences under those circumstances, and I always swore I would never let anyone in, but I don't regret that time, I don't regret you..."
She stared into his eyes. At that moment, he realised she was not the only one with no regrets. Life didn't fit into compartments like he had forced it to before, but if you didn't live for the moment, you lost so much more.
