One Drunken night
A/N: Okay if you read "Cue Rebounds" then this is what happened during chapter 3 and the footage that Joel obtained
If not, then it's a drunken night that turns into a lesbian orgy, enjoy!
Warning: Will contain Yuri smut, you no like. Then that's a big shame, I'm probably going to get flamed for this then.
Disclaimer: The plot is mine, it's the only thing that is mine in this fic.
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Leaving the seventh Heaven was the beginning of what was to be a long night for the seven ladies. 5 assassins, one ninja and a martial artist who has a chest that has lead to, let's say some unsavoury jokes involving silicone.
The Turk pub crawl was notorious although the people involved could never remember why. However it did stick in the minds of whoever had to ferry them around from bar to bar as often after the first two, they couldn't find the next one on the list if it was next door.
It had only been beaten on pure alcohol intake once.
In an alternate dimension there was a pub crawl around every street on the monopoly board. The person who started with it wound up on the moon of Saturn that kind of looks like a 'Death Star' (Insert "That's no moon jokes here) and ended up being the last human alive for 200 years, until a thousand of them were revived by nanobots who had previously turned a mining ship into a planetoid complete with electrical storms and mountain dew vending machines.
But back to the girl's night out.
Tifa had already endured ten wolf whistles and this was only the second bar! Kandi quickly ordered 7 of the hardest drinks on the menu
"I'll give you something hard." One of the male patrons jibed at the girls.
"So… what way do you want to kill him?" Elena asked
"Shuriken up the ass, it never gets old!" Yuffie smiled.
"I was gonna say go for the G-string around the neck, but shuriken up the ass does seem more fun" Katrina conceded
"Why do you always have to go for the perverted ways? Can't you just shoot or poison someone?" Elena asked.
"More fun." Ram said before taking her shot "I'd probably go with the poison claws during sex."
"You mean the method Niki used?" Kandi asked
"Yeah, get off and get the guy killed! Two birds, one stone."
"So what would you go for, Human vending machine?" Akalara asked Kandi.
"Probably I'd go for the whip sting technique"
"Whip-sting?" Said Tifa, confused because of 1. She hadn't heard the term before and 2. She had drunk the most of the group. 5 shots in 40 seconds, if only because the others were in a conversation.
"Some people are in to the whole bondage bull shit."
"Hey!" Akalara almost shouted "Just because Rude isn't in to the rough stuff doesn't make it bull shit."
"Whatever Ak" Kandi continued, "basically you put poison on the end of the whip and keep hitting them until they draw blood, then they're as good as dead!"
"Maybe I should try that" Elena spoke, more or less to herself.
"What 'bout yo 'Laney? Got a favourite way to take out that guy?"
"Break his neck, simple enough" She said.
"You're no fun!" Katrina moaned "Green Bitch?"
"Don't call me that Kat. Besides I'd probably spike him in the balls with a stiletto and shoot him in the face. Painful and efficient."
"What if the guy's a eunuch?" Yuffie chimed in.
"Still could kick him in the face." Akalara said defiantly before taking back her shot.
"What about you Tifa?" Kandi asked.
"What?" Tifa shouted
"Come on, we know you're a killer" Ram egged on.
"I am not!"
"Then how come you got an orgasm after killing something?" Yuffie asked
"What?!" Tifa was really getting angry now.
"You know when Cait Sith was spying on you, whenever you pummelled something to a bloody pulp, you did that little stretch afterwards"
"I have to stretch my muscles after a fight to avoid, you know, cramps!" Tifa said defensively
"Then what about that look on your face, especially after you put Reno in that hold, I mean shit, I didn't know someone with such a big chest could be so agile. I couldn't fuck him for a month after that incident," Akalara said, ordering another set of shots before continuing "every time, you got the look on your face as though someone was going down on you."
"Wasn't just Reno either" Elena said " Yuffie is my witness to the fact that you also had 'fun' beating me to shit."
"Okay so you got me! I have a slight fighting fetish, is that so wrong?" Tifa admitted, hanging her head in defeat.
"No, just you gave the guys there one hell of a show, Reeve even had footage of you during those fights, zoomed in, in slow motion" Kandi Joked.
"Fuck off!" Tifa yelled at the Turks causing them to snigger.
"Does Reeve seriously have that footage?" Ram asked.
"Yeah, I hacked into his computer system, there is some really weird shit on there." Kandi told her partner.
"Ahhh." Yuffie had finished her shot "Well now I'm sick of this house special, let's hit the next one!"
"Awesome!" The remaining girls agreed.
"You never did tell us your favourite way to kill a guy miss boobs."
"Fu-…..fuck off….Ni-, Kandi"
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Okay, this is probably going to be an M rated series and may or may not be the hub for the lesbian orgy references in the main story. Requests for bars (karaoke maybe?) and jokes afterwards are greatly appreciated
