Hands Down

Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own Harry Potter or any of the other characters in his story. Nor will I, to my dismay, ever own him. This story is purely fiction, with characters from the awesome books by JK Rowling.

This story is based on the song, 'Hands Down' by Dashboard Confessional – the lyrics will be hidden and written out throughout the story. Please read and review.


James

James flicked on the shower in his dorm and stood under it, unmoving, thinking. It was the first day back after the summer holidays at Hogwarts and he had just woken up. He let the water from the shower completely cover him before washing and finally getting out of it and changing. He stood in front of his mirror, looking at himself. Not looking too bad this morning, he thought. Maybe, just maybe, Lily would pay him a little bit of positive attention.

He'd written to her a couple of times during the holidays, asking how she was and what she'd been doing. She had replied to the first letter, politely, but not flirtatiously. Not how he wanted her to have replied.

James didn't understand why Lily didn't want him. He'd grown up knowing he was good looking, clever and charming – he'd had enough girlfriends to know this was true. He knew he had flaws and he guessed that he wasn't as good at hiding them as he thought he was because, after almost 5 years of him trying and trying to get Lily to fancy him back, she still didn't.

James couldn't understand it. His friends always said he could get any girl he wanted. They knew what he was like, they knew he was a player. But he couldn't help it, he loved girls, he loved kissing girls, he loved girls full stop.

He'd had many girlfriends, all of them good looking at desired by many other boys in his school. But he'd never felt for them the way he'd always felt for Lily. She had always stood out from the rest, maybe because she didn't want him, maybe because she was beautiful and clever, maybe all of the above.

James sighed to himself, mussing up his hair and scratching his stomach. He didn't know if he'd ask her again this week. Normally he asked her out every two weeks. He didn't do it because he knew it annoyed her, like she thought he did, he did it because he thought that perhaps, one day, she'd say yes.

He didn't think he could face rejection again. Of course, he'd been through it loads of times with Lily before, but even after all of it, he still wasn't immune to her constantly saying 'never in a million years.' Of course it hurt him, he was in love with her. Yes, love. He'd realised it was love after a year of fancying her and knew that, because the feeling was still the same, he was still in love with her.

He loved every little thing about her – her hair, her eyes, her laugh, her angelic and slightly posh voice, her intelligence, her beautiful skin, her ability to always come up with comebacks whenever anyone insulted her. He wished that she felt the same way. He really, really did.

Lily wasn't like the other girls. He'd been in situations with some of his other girlfriends where he could have gone all the way with them but, even though his body was telling him to do so, he just couldn't. His mind and heart wanted him to wait for Lily even though he didn't really believe anything of that sort would even have crossed Lily's mind, let alone allowed to come close to happening.

James wouldn't ask her out again today. But he wouldn't give up. Maybe if he just acted like he didn't care anymore, he might be able to fathom some sort of upset reaction from Lily and then perhaps she'd want him. Yes, that was what he'd do: he wouldn't ask her out, he'd give her as little attention as possible and he'd act like he was over her. It was a brilliant plan.

It was ingenious.


Lily

Lily Potter was sat in the Gryffindor common room, lying next to the fire and studying a map in the book, Hogwarts: A History. She wasn't a history or geography boffin but she'd overheard Sirius Black and Remus Lupin discussing a secret room somewhere in the castle and she wanted to find it. She scanned the map, looking at every tiny detail, but she couldn't see anything that looked unusual or secret. Sighing, Lily closed the book and stared into the fire, thinking.

She'd been back at Hogwarts for about two hours now and since arriving back, had unpacked all her things and read. Her friends had gone down to the welcome back dinner in the Great Hall but Lily hadn't followed them. She really couldn't be bothered to deal with Potter's constant flirting and the way he wouldn't stop asking her out.

Potter. What could she say about him? Well, he liked her. A lot. And had done for about 5 years now, if she had counted right. He was tall, dark haired and brown eyed. He was good looking, even Lily had to admit this. She may highly dislike him but this didn't make her immune to the fact that he was very handsome. She'd heard enough girls going on about it to know that it was normal for her to think this and to prove that he really was good looking.

But his looks meant nothing to Lily. Yes, she could appreciate them, but it wasn't as if she was attracted to him. He was too much of an arrogant arse for her to be attracted to him.

He'd been through loads and loads of girlfriends, each one never lasting longer than a month. In Lily's opinion, this didn't make him exactly the best person in the world. Almost the opposite, in fact. Him and his friends had broken thousands of Hogwarts girls' hearts and had most likely never been dumped. Lily couldn't help but lose respect for them because of this. Yes, they were good looking, especially Sirius Black, but that didn't give them the right to just play with peoples' emotions.

The only fairly decent members of Potter's hang were Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Lupin was just generally an all-round nice guy. Everyone liked him, even Severus Snape liked him. He was tall and quite muscular – muscular enough for girls to constantly go on about how toned he was – and had a kind, pretty face. No, he wasn't a pretty boy, but he was pleasant looking and his personality was equally as appealing.

Lupin and Lily had been friends since their first year at Hogwarts because they had been sat next to each other in Potions – a subject they both despised. They had become close through bitching about their Potions teacher and all their other teachers and subjects, until eventually their relationship grew into a lasting and meaningful friendship. Lily knew Lupin would never be interested in her in any other way than just as her friend but she felt exactly the same way. Lily loved her relationship with him – the only drawback was that he had an equally good relationship with James Potter.

Sirius Black was another matter. Okay, so he was a bit of a player, but he was always nice to his girlfriends and almost everyone else as well. It also helped that he had gorgeous long, black hair that hung down to his shoulders in a sleek, sexy way and gleaming dark eyes that always made you tingle when looking into them. Sirius was tall and toned, possibly not as much as Remus but enough to still get loads of attention from shallow girls.

Sirius had always had lots of girlfriends but had also always seemed to genuinely have feelings for them – unlike Potter who was obviously just in it for the physical contact. Lily wondered if Potter had ever actually slept with any of his girlfriends. Probably, a lot of his thinking did seem to take place in his nether regions as opposed to his head. I bet he's great in bed, she said quietly to herself before realising she'd even thought it. Lily looked around her in shame just to check no one else was in the common room. After satisfying herself that no one was around, Lily stood up and went into her room to get ready for bed.

She pulled on her black pyjama tank top and stripy bottoms and then tied her long hair up into a ponytail. After brushing her teeth and washing her face, Lily curled up in her four poster bed and pulled the hangings shut, awaiting the morning.


James

When James went down to the Great Hall for breakfast, Sirius, Lupin and Peter were all already there. He sat down next to them and helped himself to some bacon and eggs, eating them hungrily. James looked around the hall, hoping to catch sight of Lily, who he still hadn't seen since glimpsing her on the train. She hadn't come down to dinner the night before so James hadn't even had a chance to give her a flirtatious look or wink.

But, James remembered, I'm supposed to be acting like I don't like her so this isn't exactly a great start. He turned back to his friends and asked them how they all were,

'I'm feeling great actually,' replied Sirius, lazily flicking his black hair out of his face to the delight of some fourth formers sitting further along their table. They started giggling girlishly and James shot them an annoyed look that immediately shut them up.

'Any particular reason?' James asked,

'Hmm, not really,' Sirius replied, 'Perhaps because there's a gorgeous new Ravenclaw who's transferred from Beauxbatons and is in almost all of my classes. He nodded towards and Hufflepuff table and James turned to see the girl he was talking about. She was sitting next to Cho Chang's younger sister Lee and they were deep in conversation. Her almost white-blonde hair hung low on her back in stunning curls that framed her face beautifully. There was no doubt about it, she was beautiful. Even from where he was he could see that she had a beautiful, endearing face that James would definitely not mind kissing.

Bust just as he thought this, James looked up and saw the face of a girl who he would definitely never give up the chance to kiss. Lily was walking into the Great Hall with her friends Jane and Rachel, swishing her hair to the side as she surveyed the room. Her eyes came to rest on James' but he looked away quickly.

Lily frowned to herself, maybe he's finally going to leave me alone, she thought.

James turned back to Sirius and said,

'Yeah, she is pretty hot.'

'Pretty hot?' scoffed Sirius, 'she's bloody stunning, that's what. Not just 'pretty' hot.'

James sighed and rolled his eyes, 'Whatever you say, Padfoot.' He glanced up to see Lily and her friends sitting a few people away from them, talking and laughing. Lily was looking as gorgeous as ever, her skin gleaming from an obvious tan and her eyes were as sparkly as ever. Suddenly Lily turned and looked at James, catching him off guard – he was supposed to be acting like he didn't like her. Quickly, James looked away from Lily and at another Gryffindor who was sitting behind her, he smiled and waved at the girl who blushed bright crimson and waved flirtatiously back. Lily looked from the girl to James and rolled her eyes, taking another sip of the orange juice in front of her.

James was pleased with himself, nice move, he thought – Lily was clearly just jealous. Maybe this is going to be easier than I thought.


Lily

An irritated Lily watched Potter waving flirtatiously at someone behind her. She glanced round at the girl, Sarah Watkins, who she shared Herbology and then turned back to Potter, rolling her eyes. He simply winked at the girl and turned back to his food. Hmm, was this him trying to make her jealous? Or did he actually like this girl? Not that Lily cared. Of course she didn't care, he was James-bloody-Potter, nothing more than an arrogant git with an abnormally large head.

Looking up from her food, Lily saw Sirius looking at her and smiling, she waved and smiled back at him.

'How was your summer?' he mouthed,

'Great,' Lily mouthed back, 'and yours?'

Sirius gave her the thumbs up,

'Talk to you properly later, yeah?' Lily nodded and smiled.

Sirius continued to eat just as Lupin looked up and waved at Lily. He was looking more tired than usual, probably because it had been a full moon the weekend before school started. Lily smiled and waved back at him, she had missed him over the holidays. Just writing to him wasn't as nice as actually being with him, he was a really loyal and lovely friend.

After their breakfast, Lily and her friends headed off to their first lesson, Care of Magical Creatures, hurriedly. When they got there, James and Sirius were already there, leaning against the railings of one of Hagrid's animal pens. Sirius immediately stood and started talking to the three girls but James remained silent, watching them thoughtfully.

'You're quiet today, Potter,' Lily said to him, after an awkward silence. James' stomach did the excited little flip it did any time he had any interactions with Lily and he answered flatly,

'Indeed I am,' before turning and walking over to the same Gryffindor girl he'd been waving flirtatiously at, at dinner. He reached the girl and casually draped his arm around her shoulders, giving her his most sexy smile. The girl immediately giggled and smiled back at James, Lily couldn't believe how shallow and spineless some of the girls at her school were. She scowled and turned back to Sirius and the girls,

'Jealous, are we?' Sirius asked, watching Lily,

'Pfft, he wishes.' Lily replied, irritated.

'Actually, I'm not so sure he does anymore,' replied Sirius, 'you'll be pleased to know I think he's over you.'

'Oh,' Lily replied. Okay, she wasn't upset – why would she be? She didn't like him. But something inside her didn't feel too good when Sirius said that. Maybe it was just because she wasn't going to be getting as much attention from Potter anymore, but it couldn't be that. Lily wasn't as shallow as that, she wasn't an attention craver. Lily didn't know why she got that odd feeling in her stomach when Sirius said that and, honestly, she didn't really want to find out the reason behind it.

She didn't want to realise that she actually felt something. Because, of course she didn't. Lily could never like James – Potter, not James. He was an irritating arsehole who she'd always hated, there was no way she could ever feel anything for him.

After satisfying herself that the feeling she'd had was just caused by something she'd eaten, Lily immediately felt more comfortable and rejoined the girls' conversation with Sirius with more gusto than before.


James

James curled his arm around the girl, Sarah, and pulled her closer to him. She didn't complain, she just moved closer to him so she was virtually sat on top of him and smiled at him. She was pretty, funny, and sweet. He liked Sarah... but there was something about her that just wasn't good enough. He knew what it was, it was always the same with every girl. She wasn't Lily.

Speaking of Lily, why hadn't she noticed that he was ignoring her. And, if she had, why wasn't she being more obvious about it. James was really trying to get her to feel unwanted and jealous and she didn't seem too bothered at all. He had watched when Sirius had told her what James had asked him to, that he didn't like her anymore, and she hadn't seemed phased at all – she merely nodded. And now, she was busy flirting with Sirius who was standing beside her, helping her feed her Frogfish that was hopping about inside its tank.

Wanting desperately to get her to notice him and Sarah, James flicked a tiny rock on his desk at Lily and then quickly pulled Sarah to him and kissed her. Sarah laughed delicately against his mouth and didn't hesitate to kiss him back. Opening his eyes, smiling and pulling away from Sarah, James looked up to see Lily staring at him with a blank expression on her face. Sarah kissed the side of his mouth and he watched as Lily simply raised one of her eyebrows slightly, rolled her eyes again and turned back to Sirius who was now trying to restrain her Frogfish from hopping out of its tank.

Why hadn't she looked jealous? Why did she just look annoyed? Was she ever going to react? Argh, she was driving James fucking insane! And he'd only just started acting like he was over her. Maybe he needed to change his tactics, maybe he would just be really subtle about it. Sarah was nice enough, he wouldn't mind being her boyfriend for a while, and Lily was sure to eventually get jealous and decide that she was head-over-heels in love with James - it was only a matter of time.

And for once in his life, James was right about Lily.


I hope you liked this fic, I had a great time writing it. I actually wrote it in my break from revising so I hope it's appreciated. Please review it – I'd hugely appreciate it – and I'll update as soon as I can.

Thanks,

theonlynewgirl

xx