A/N: I've never tried my hand at a story with Sai in it, in fact I don't even think I've read more then three stories tops, where he was a main character…so im hoping that I got his personality right. I'm actually surprised I wrote this on the count of I usually don't like Naruto with anyone but Sasuke, under any circumstances. But I guess what they say is true about never knowing what the plot bunnies are going to throw at you until they chain you up and force you. Anyways, I really hope you all enjoy this; I had a really good time writing it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. What I do own however is a league of extremely volatile plot bunnies.
I was always picked on because of my art.
So many times, in a number of different way's. I've been told that I'm useless, good for nothing but getting the mission done; that no one would spare a second thought for me if I were to die. This was the essence of my Root training, my time spent learning under Danzo. If I had any emotion's left inside of me, I probably would have tried to kill myself a long time ago. As it was, I just toggled it back and fourth in my mind 'What outcome would my death bring?' In the end, I could think of nothing. No one would care, and if it weren't for my sketches, I very well would have committed the now unfathomable act. But at the time, only my drawings stopped me, they were like a calling, my creations; it was as if they needed me.
When I was first assigned to Team 7, I had no cause to believe that my reason's for living should be any different. And for a while, they weren't. I was always on time, never questioning my orders as they came to me. Until the day I did, and that's when everything has changed.
Flashback
"I finally found you!" I blinked, bringing my sketchbook to my chest before turning to face the familiar figure who had just walked in on me. It was Naruto.
"Yes?" I asked calmly, standing slowly too meet his gaze. I knew that I shouldn't be sitting in one of the village's outpost room's, I didn't even bother to glance at the unconscious ANBU guard that I had knocked-out in order to be here. I knew he was still blissfully unaware, he wouldn't remember what happened once he woke up anyways.
I was actually kind of surprised the blonde hadn't noticed him yet, as he was the heaviest of the posts occupiers. The fact Naruto was here looking for me was enough of an indication that I was late; way past the normal Team 7 meeting time. Naruto didn't seem angry with me, just surprised. He actually smiled when he saw the sketchbook that I held gently in my arms.
"Nothin'" He pushed the fact that he had come to get me aside, to say nothing? "What's in your sketchbook?" so he was curious. I stared at him, trying to read into his sudden interest.
"Nothing of importance," I answered honestly, but he was persistent. "I wanna see." I offered him only a blank stair in response. He sighed, before flashing me a bright smile, "Please?"
I contemplated my options. Its not like he would ruin them. He wasn't that much of an idiot. I handed the sketchbook over, watching as he stared at it with wide eyes, flipping through the pages with uncharacteristic gentleness. "These are really good! Did you draw all of these yourself, Sai?"
I couldn't help but look at him strangely, an unfamiliar feeling budding in the pit of my stomach as he handed the sketchbook back. "Yes, I did."
"You really have some talent in this artsy stuff!" Naruto said.
"I tried drawing once," He admitted, "But I couldn't make anything look right, and my people came out as stick figure's!" Naruto laughed at his own omission, rubbing the back of his neck in a way that Sai was becoming familiar with seeing from the blonde. But he was still confused. He knew what praise was, having observed the villagers of Konohagakure interact with their children enough to name it as he saw it, but in all of his memories Sai could never recall being on the receiving end of it. It felt, strange. It was a good strange though, he decided as he gave his best imitation of a smile. Something people were known to do when receiving a compliment.
End of Flashback
After that interlude, I was never late or missing from a team meeting.
It had been hard to adjust, having never been exposed to social situations that didn't strictly involve carrying out orders, but Naruto was there for me. The blonde seemed to always know when to chime in, and take over conversations. It was to him that I confided my desire to be a simple artist. When not in battle, he was the only one I showed my drawings to. He always told me his honest, unbiased opinion. He didn't sugarcoat it; in fact I was pretty sure that sugar coating was one of the only things that Naruto was incapable of doing. I liked that about him, even if sometimes it came off as harsh, he always made suggestions on how I could improve. I came to realize after a few months of this that I enjoyed his company, and after a talk with our bubble gum haired teammate, came to realize that he was my friend. I later came to a second realization after a few weeks of self-analyzing my behavior my interest in the blonde wasn't simply friendship as I had once thought, but something more.
Flashback
"Hey, are you going to show us your newest rubbish, or what?" demanded Danzo, smirking at me. He was the leader of the Root, an organization long since disbanded, but not forgotten. Proof of that stood before me, in the form of his lackeys that filled the room. I said nothing, standing before him in an obedient pose, waiting for his next orders, or my dismissal.
I could tell that they no longer trusted me, a fact that fed their love to pick on my artwork and myself. The lackeys, still nameless as I once was, stood behind him. I'll admit that I was worried. Not for me, but for my art.
He "requested" that I show them my art again, to which I refused.
The action proved to be a foolish one. As soon as he got over the shock of my disobedience; they made quick work of my sketchbook, tearing the pages out, and ripping them into pieces before my eyes. One of them began to hit me, reiterating out loud that it was to make sure that I didn't get cocky again. I let them, deciding that my actions had given me enough trouble already.
They left quickly and quietly. I collapsed onto the stone floor, my expression as blank as my heart felt. My work... all of it, now laid scattered carelessly across the floor.
I would later wonder how he knew I was there, and why he was there himself, but at that moment, when Naruto came barging through the doors, rushing to my side, I didn't care if he had a reason.
It was difficult to name; the swarm that was bubbling inside the pit of my stomach was a totally new range of emotion. Never before had I experienced emotions like this, but I knew that I never wanted to feel something like it again. I couldn't pin point it. Aggravation made home inside of me at that fact, but my struggle didn't seem to be an obstacle for the other occupant of the room, the blonde next to me had no problem in naming and voicing the emotions.
He reached down, picking up some of the scattered artworks, "Bastards!" His palm clenched around the pieces trapped inside of his grasp.
He didn't ask who did it, and I had a feeling he already knew. See? Smarter then he let on.
"What happened…?" Or maybe not…I found myself unable to answer his question. When they hit me, had they damaged my vocal cords? It was only a moment later though I realized my jaw, which had clenched itself was the cause of my inability.
He spoke again, talking more to himself then to me, but the tone in his voice captivated me, "Why did they do this?" I couldn't help myself from looking up at him, an unquenchable interest made me long to see the expression that went with that tone. My wish went unanswered though as his expression quickly changed to worry at the sight of my now bruising cheeks. "They hurt you."
"It's nothing," I forced out, doing my best to sound cheerful; anything to get the look of worry off of his face. It bothered me that he was staring at me like that. My voice must have shook, because his tone was less then believing.
"Danzo hurts you, rips up all your masterpieces, and you say that it's nothing? I bet that coward didn't even have the guts to do it himself! He hid behind his lackeys, didn't he!" His cheeks were flush with anger, a storm overtaking the ocean of his eyes.
I could feel something stir within me. "It's alright, fishcake," I hoped the insult would replace the sadness that was now leaking into those blue depths. He ignored the jibe though, looking at the destruction strewn about us. What he did next surprised even me. So much so that when it happened, I could feel an unfamiliar heat climb to my cheeks.
He took me in what I could only describe as an embrace.
"No, that's not alright!" he whispered with such emotion into my ear that I felt lost. "Sai," I took a breath as my name left lips I could not see, "You're artwork is special, just like you."
End of Flashback
We never talked about that day again, but it had changed everything.
We started meeting at the outpost where he first discovered my artwork and I, it having been abandoned after the construction of new posts were completed. Neither of us having parent's to answer to made it easier for us to be with each other. I even stayed at his apartment a few times. We were never... intimate. Our touches never went beyond chaste kisses, but I knew something strong was forged between us. A feeling that I now have come to know as love.
Though I would never show him, I once painted a picture of my beloved fishcake while he slept. I called it "Something Special". He had shown me how to love, how to feel, and though I was still working on it, I have already been able to handle social situations without him present because of it. Not that I ever went anywhere in public without him, or that he would let me. His feelings for me made him harder to get rid of then ink on paper.
I found myself smiling at that thought.
He was the last thing I would think about before falling to sleep, and the first thing to my mind when I awoke. But I knew that, if my "Something Special" were to be found, I would be in big trouble. Naruto didn't know about my painting. Well, he knew of it - just not that it was he who the figure had resembled originally. I had painted over it with oil paints, covering his beautifully carved face with scarless cheeks, sharper features, and fire colored hair. One day, I will take off the mask I had put on my Something Special, and reveal the true beauty that lay underneath.
If I had a last name to give him, I would.
Maybe, by the time I showed him the portrait, we would be one under spiritual law. I moved a strand of lose hair from his sleeping face, smiling at the innocence in his expression as he rested atop my stomach.
After all, it was the human thing to do.
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