I Do Not own GINTAMA

Chapter One - Messed up Memory and Balls


"It's a very rare case, I may say. Losing his memory for the second time was a quite dangerous situation to be precised." The doctor said as he read the patient's daily chart. Everyone in the room feel worried and sorry for the silver-haired samurai who apathetically looking at them. "This is the first time I encounter a case like Sakata-san. This time, his case can't be compared to a branches of tree." He added.

"What was that supposed to mean, doctor?" Shinpachi asked worriedly as he pulled up his eyeglass. "Is that dangerous?"

The doctor look at Shinpachi from head to toe before utter a words. "Listen carefully you virgin boy." The four-eyed teen felt embarrassed and pissed off at the same time but choose to ignored. "It's a hopeless case. Let just say that he is a man without a balls hanging between his legs.."

"A-a balls?" Shinpachi exclaimed. "How is that connected on his memory loss...it doesn't make any sense doc..."

"A virgin boy like you won't understand the connection. Let me explain. Imagine Sakata-san standing in front of you naked. Imagine looking at his crotch without his balls...

The teenage boy blush and yell. "It has nothing to do with his memory...doc..!"

"You're wrong...the first time he lost his memory was like cracking his balls, and for the second time it completely break and totally lost those balls...

Shinpachi just narrow his eyes. "It has nothing to do with his memory..." He insisted.

On the side, Kagura munching some snack belongs to the patient suddenly clasp her hand." I see. I get what you mean doc! You're saying that Gin-chan losing his memory for the second wasn't the same as the Gin-chan we know."

"Yes...you almost get it." The doctor replied.

Shinpachi sweatdrop. 'What the hell... I didn't get it at all."

"Shinpachi-kun let me give you another example." The doctor said, as if he can read what on the teenage boy's mind. "Imagine again Sakata-san standing in front of you naked. Seeing his stick between his legs without his balls, what the first thing you will think?"

The megane boy hold onto his chin and think. "Hmm...he's a pervert?"

"No you're wrong,,.you stupid virgin boy." Kagura scolded. "I get it now doc. It's means that you cannot longer distinguish whether Gin-chan is a man or a woman. Despite that stick hanging there, without his balls you can't say he is a real man." She pouted, annoyed on how slowly Shinpachi unable to figured out the situation.

"You're absolutely right Kagura-chan. So what I'm trying to say is that by totally losing his memories he's no longer the old Sakata-san as same as we all know. Same goes by saying that you can't call him a man without those balls neither call him a woman because of his stick..."The doctor finished his lectured and left the room.

'What the hell...his explanation is more complicated than Gin-san's situatuion.'

"Gintoki." Tsukuyo called, just arrived after the doctor left. "Forgive me." She sincerely apologized, carrying a box of cake for the silver-hair samurai and handed it to Shinpachi. "It's all my fault. If I didn't dragged you on that mess, you won't gonna lost your balls." She touched the samurai's shoulder before she turned her back on him, walked to the window of the room and looked up at the clear blue sky. "How can I able to look at you now..." Tried to concealed the tears that started to welled up on her eyes.

"Ano Tsukuyo-san... Gin-san didn't lose his..."

"No! It can't be! Gin-san, Gin-san...please tell me this wasn't true!?" Sarutobi cried, suddenly popped out of nowhere and shaking the patient's body recklessly. "How about our wedding? How about the babies we're planning to make...how...how... I can't accept it... And I don't even had a chance touch your balls...and now they're gone." She cried louder, covering her face with her both hand. Like Tsukuyo, she walked and stood in front of the window, back facing the silver-hair samurai.

Gintoki's eyes traveling between the two women's back confusedly. "Um... I... I don't..."

Tsukuyo raise her hand that made Gintoki to stop talking. "Don't say a word Gintoki...you have a right to be upset..." She said without facing the amnesiac samurai.

"My deepest sympathy and apology." Kyuubei said as she entered the room. She bowed her head at Gintoki and the rest as a greetings then approached Tsukuyo and Sarutobi to gently pats their shoulders. "It's all my fault Tsukuyo-san, so please don't blame yourself. If I just have more courage and strength this won't gonna happen."

"What do you mean Kyuubei-san?" Shinpachi asked curiously.

"If I just asked Sakata-san earlier to donate his balls for me, he won't gonna lost his balls in a more devastating ways." She stated calmly.

"What the...?! He's gonna lost it...so what's the difference? And by the way he don't lost his ba..."

"My, my what is this Gin-san. If I knew that you will lost your balls... I wish I cut them myself and added to my omelette to see how does it taste. " Tae Shimura said as she enter the room with a huge sweet smile on her face.

"Anueu... Will you please stop it?" Shinpachi quite embarrassed on how his sister talks about Gintoki's balls tactlessly. "Why no one is listening to me? I keep telling you people Gin-san didn't lost his..."

"Enough Shinpanchi! Don't you see how depressed Gin-chan now. You don't how does it feel to lost a balls." Kagura shouted.

"I'm telling you too... Gin-san didn't lost his..."

"It's enough Shinpachi-kun...it's no use." Catherine interrupted, stopped him from explaining and pointing at the other girls who starts arguing on what they must do if Gintoki's balls was on their possession.

"But..."

"Shinpachi-sama, Madame Catherine and Kagura-sama was right. You're voice no longer reaches them, they won't gonna hear you. According to my data, once a women attracted at the same man at the same time, they get jealous then fight. Not just to win his heart, but also to win his balls. "

Shinpachi gawk at Tama. 'Just what kind of data was that' And he decided better not to say anything at all. He sigh and watch as his sister with the rest bickering over the silver-hair guy who is now unconscious due to the punches and kicks he got from the girls fighting over him.

Outside the room, Yamazaki and Sasaki heard the rest of their conversation. For some reason, tears flow like a river and snots coming in and out thru their nostrils.

"Tetsunosuke-kun..." Yamazaki called in between his tears. "This is unacceptable. Sakata-san help and save us many times especially during the Shinsengumi crisis. He's the one who brought back Hijikata-san to the battlefield and help him to be himself again. But why this is happening to Sakata-san, he saved so many lives. He don't deserve lost his balls...huhu"

Sasaki wipe his tears. "I remember during the Baragaki arc, I thought he really throw me off the building, but in reality he just wanted to save me and fight along with vice-chief. To tell you the truth I started to like him for being strong and kind person."

"You're right...he may be look like that...but he's actually cool main character." Yamazaki wiped off his tears and stood straight. "It's no use Tetsunosuke-kun. Crying here like a baby won't help him. We must do something." He said in full determination, balling his fists like in a fight stance.

Sasaki did the same. After wiping off their tears and fix themselves, the two Shinsengumi headed out of the the hospital, preparing themselves to whatever danger they might face to be able to help the silver-hair samurai.


Midnight. After searching all over the town for possible help they can get, Yamazaki and Sasaki finally went back to the headquarters.

"Kondo-san. Okita-san." Yamazaki kneeled and bowed his head to his superiors along with Sasaki. "Please allow us to do this journey."

"Please we beg you Kondo-san, Okita-san. We're willing to commit sepukku after this. Just give us permission to go for this journey." Sasaki added, without lifting up his head.

"I understand that you respect and at the same time felt sorry for Gin-san. But it's not your duty to risk your lives to retrieve his balls. Although I also feel sorry for him." Kondo stated, looking somewhere who cares whatever it is. Flashback coming through to his mind. The memories of the fights along with Gintoki. "He's a strong-will man. Losing his balls won't gonna affect his dignity as a man." He said, teary-eyed.

"We understand Chief, but this is the only way we know to repay him for saving our Shinsengumi."

"Say...how do you plan to regain his balls." Okita asked, finally joined their conversation.

Yamazaki and Sasaki look up and sit properly. Both exchange meaningful gazes first before talks again. "We're going to Planet Namek to hunt and gather the magical orbs the granted any wish." They said in chorused.

Kondo and Okita suddenly gain interest and sit across. "A magical orbs that granted any wish?" The chief asked.

"Yes, Kondo-san. It's called the Dragon Ball."

Kondo and Okita widen their eyes and take their words seriously. "I see.. It's a Dragon Ball that can grant any wish you say." Both stated in unison, touched their chin and smiled deviously.

to be continued...


A/N: English is not my native language. This is my first Gintama fanfic so please be gentle on me.

I appreciate any kinds of reviews. ^_^