Hey everyone...I'd kinda gotten away from writing because I was burned out and disgusted with what's really going on with publishing. I won't go into all of it here, but I will say that after some time away I felt the itch and decided maybe it was time to revisit my favorite story. After quite a bit of thought on the subject I decided there was maybe a bit more to Gen and John's story. After all, life isn't always a happily ever after, right? So just how would Gen and John navigate the rocky road of marriage when life once again began throwing curve balls at them? Again, just as a reminder, for those of you who don't like Pollyanna characters this story isn't for you.
"Hang on, Gen, Roy's coming down," Captain Stanley urged. "Whatever you do, don't let go."
Never! Her gaze cut from above to below to where Johnny dangled, then beyond. She swallowed hard against the bile building in her throat and the sudden need to vomit. The only thing standing between Johnny and certain death was her damaged shoulder and five fingers.
"More Slack," she could hear Roy's panicked voice urging from somewhere above her. "Damn it, I said more slack."
She watched Johnny as he hung below her, then slowly he looked up at her, his eyes filled with terror. "Please don't let go."
"Never," she called back as she fought the tears now blurring her vision. I love you! But no matter how hard she tried to hold onto him he continued to slip through her fingers. Her heart shattered the moment their connection broke and she screamed in horror as he fell.
On a gasp, Gen jerked upright in bed.
"What's wrong?" Johnny asked as he pushed up next to her.
She turned toward him and for a second simply stared as she allowed reality push away the dream.
"Sweetheart?" Johnny reached a hand toward her. "Are you okay?"
Finally, she nodded. "I'm okay. I-," She stared at him, blinked. "I had a nightmare."
"Really?" His brow winged up in surprise. "You haven't had one of those in a long time. What was it about?"
"About your accident. Only I wasn't able to hold onto you." As she said the words she realized she was still shaking.
He reached for her. "Come on, lay back down."
She went willingly and snuggled against him so her back pressed against his front. He wrapped his arm around her and his leg over hers, cocooning her in his protection. Then he pressed his lips to her nape. "You're shaking," he whispered.
"It will pass," she murmured as she drew on his warmth and strength. Still, she felt unsettled and didn't like it one bit. The last time she'd dreamed like that her father had died the next day. Considering Johnny would head off to work in just a few hours, that fact didn't sit well at all.
"Is it possible you dreamed about it because yesterday was the date of the accident four years ago?"
"Maybe," she murmured. Was it possible that's all the dream was and not some strange omen like the one with her father?
"You know-" He slowly began mouthing kisses along her nape. "I can help you forget that dream."
She couldn't help but grin. "You're insatiable. You know that right?"
He slid his free hand under her arm and cupped her breast. "I can't help myself, when I have such a beautiful and sexy wife."
Making sure he couldn't see her, she rolled her eyes. Sexy was the last thing she felt at the moment.
"What do ya say, gorgeous? How about a little before work tension relief?"
Already her body began to hum and the dream was slowly starting to fade. It still amazed her how he could damn near always make her feel better, no matter what the situation.
His hand slid lower, breached her panties and on instinct she parted her legs for him.
"Mmmm," he purred against her neck. "You're very wet."
Gen closed her eyes and focused one the wonderful things he was doing to her, allowing the remnants of her dream to fade away. In reality, they should both be getting up for work, but she needed this just as much as he did. "I'm always wet for you."
Her reply pulled a growl from him that caused her body to shiver in response. Damn, she loved it when he went all feral on her.
Later, with her hair still wet from her shower, she rushed to apply her makeup. The water ran in the background as Johnny sprinted through his own shower. "You know," he said as he turned off the taps. "I have off this weekend. I was thinking maybe I'd head over to Mira Loma to the livestock auction."
The tension that their earlier sexcapade erased now returned with his statement. Was he really going back to this again? "Why?" she asked as she finished brushing on a little blush.
He pulled the curtain back then reached for his towel. "Well, Olivia's birthday is rolling up on us rather quickly and I need to have time to find the perfect horse."
Struggling to hold her temper she zipped up her makeup bag and tossed it back in the drawer. "I thought we agreed she was too young for a horse."
"No-" He narrowed his gaze on her. "You said you thought she was too young. I didn't then and I don't now agree."
Gen held her hands in the air and shook her head. "Neither of us have time for this discussion right now. I have to go get Olivia up and dressed."
Without another word, she stormed out of the bathroom, through the bedroom and headed for Olivia's room across the hall. Damn him for ruining the good mood he'd earlier helped to create.
Gen pushed open the door to find Olivia attempting to crawl out of her crib. "What are you doing, young lady?"
Dark brown eyes turned and stared up at her with determination. "Out, Mommy!" She said with so much conviction, all Gen could do was sigh. Their daughter might look more like Johnny, but her personality was all Gen.
"You're going to fall and get hurt doing that." Gen scolded as she picked Olivia up and placed her on the floor. "You don't climb out of the bed. Do you understand me?"
"No baby bed." Olivia protested and stomped her foot on the floor. "I big girl."
Gen blew out another sigh as she stared down at her daughter. Between Olivia and Johnny she suddenly felt outnumbered, when it came to her thoughts and feelings on subjects.
"Okay," Gen began. "If daddy and I get you a big girl bed for your birthday, will you stop climbing out of this one?"
Olivia actually appeared to be considering Gen's offer. "Okay mommy," she finally said after a moment. "I no climb."
"Good. Now let's get you dressed, before mommy is late for work."
By the time she'd made it into the kitchen and made Olivia's breakfast Gen's mood had only soured more. Just who in the hell did Johnny think he was, making decisions like that all by himself? After all, Olivia was her daughter too and she had a right to be part of such a huge decision.
Just then, dressed in his work uniform, and with the ends of his hair still damp, Johnny walked into the kitchen. "Do you need help with anything?"
Not bothering to check her temper this time she whirled on him. "You know, I really can't believe you."
"Me?" he pointed a finger at his chest. "What did I do?"
Gen shook her head as she opened the fridge and pulled out the milk. "Ugh...you're unbelievable sometimes. Do you know that?"
"Why?" Johnny asked as scooped oatmeal into a small bowl and placed it on Olivia's high chair.
"You're making decisions all on your own again," Gen shot back as she poured milk into a sippy cup.
John handed Olivia a spoon then turned back to Gen. "I thought you said we didn't have time to discuss this?"
"We don't," Gen snapped even as she worked to reign in her temper. Deep down, she knew there really wasn't any reason to get so upset, yet she couldn't seem to help herself.
"Then why are you bringing it up again?" he challenged as he grabbed a bagel out of the bread box.
"Because I'm tired of having my feeling and wishes ignored, that's why," she shot back as she debated about breakfast for herself. She really did need to eat something, but at that moment, nothing sounded good. Besides, she really wasn't that hungry. Maybe she'd just grab something at the hospital instead.
" Look," Johnny began. "We talked about this and you agreed."
"Yes, we talked about it," Gen agreed as she placed the sippy cup on Olivia's high chair tray. "But I did not agree."
"You didn't not agree," he replied.
Gen paused and leveled a look at him she hoped accurately conveyed her frustration. "I said I didn't think it was a good idea."
"I know that, but you didn't say I couldn't do it."
"Jeez Johnny," she threw her arms in the air and turned back to the pot of coffee to pour herself a cup. "She's turning three not thirteen."
"Don't you think I know that?" he snapped. "And you're not supposed to be having coffee."
"Doctor McLaughlin never specifically said I couldn't." Gen replied. If he wanted to play that game that was fine with her.
Her snappy reply pulled a frown from him. "You know you're not supposed to have caffeine."
"And you know that I meant no when I said I didn't think buying a horse for Olivia's birthday was a good idea."
Johnny shot a sideways glance at Olivia, who was busy digging her spoon into her oatmeal. "Shhh...don't talk about her b-day in front of her."
"Oh for heaven's sake," Gen set her cup on the table. "It's not like she understands what we're discussing."
"You don't know what she understands," Johnny replied.
"God, why are you insisting on being so frustrating this morning?" Gen grumbled as she pushed away from the table and stalked toward the dining room where she'd left Olivia's diaper bag.
Johnny stopped in the doorway between the two rooms, then shifted so he could keep an eye on Olivia. "I'm not trying to be frustrating for you, Genevieve, but you have to admit that it's possible you're being overly sensitive."
She paused her check of the bag and looked back at Johnny. "Oh here we go again. Just blame my mood on the hormones."
"Again, that's not exactly what I meant."
"Daddy!" Olivia squealed. "Done daddy."
He nodded. "Okay, baby. Just a minute." Then he turned back to face Gen. "There's nothing wrong with her having a horse at her age. I had one when I was that little."
"So because you had one, that makes it right?" Gen shot back, then as an after thought tossed two extra outfits from the pile of laundry sitting on the table into the bag.
"Yes-," he started to reply only to be interrupted again.
"Daddy!" Olivia's tiny voice conveyed her exasperation.
"Okay, baby." He glanced back at Gen. "Look, we're both going to be late for work. We'll continue this conversation tomorrow."
"No, we won't," she replied as she zipped the bag closed. "Because there's nothing more to discuss. Just like always, you're going to do whatever you want, despite my feelings. So what's the point in discussing it further?"
"Gen-"
She held up a hand and shook her head, stopping him mid sentence then reached down a picked up the almost empty bowl, placed it in the sink and filled it with water. "You asked if you could help with anything. Can you please just get her cleaned up while I put her things in the car?"
"Fine." Johnny frowned, but picked up the napkin and began wiping Olivia's face. "But this discussion isn't over."
"Yes, it is," she replied, snagged the diaper bag and her purse and headed out the bag door to the car.
Twenty minutes later Gen walked toward Rampart's Emergency entrance. She paused when she reached the door, turned and worked to scoop Olivia up into her arms. Olivia pushed against her, "Down Mommy."
"No baby. You can't run through emergency."
"I walk," she continued to squirm until Gen had no choice but to put her down.
"Fine," Gen sighed. "You can walk, but you hold my hand and you listen okay?"
Olivia smiled up at her. "Okay." She reached for Gen's hand. For a split second Gen stared down at her daughter as pride and love swelled to the surface. She couldn't quite believe it had been nearly 3 years since Olivia's birth. She'd been so terrified when she found out she was pregnant. Unprepared and knowing absolutely nothing about being a mother she'd struggled in the first few months to deal with her fear.
After Olivia's birth, her fear once again ratcheted up, but eventually, as they settled into a routine and life became normal she found her footing. Now, as she stared down into the face that reminded her so much of the man she loved she couldn't imagine life without her daughter.
"Mommy?" Olivia gave her a confused look.
Gen smiled. "What, baby?"
"No be sad."
Gen did her best to crouch in front of her daughter. "I'm not sad, sweetheart."
"You sad," Olivia insisted.
"No I'm not, sweetie. I'm just thinking about how big you're getting."
The confused expression Olivia wore disappeared, replaced by a look of pride. "I big girl."
"Yes. Yes you are." With some effort, Gen manage to stand again, and took Olivia's little hand in her own. "You ready to walk like a big girl?"
Olivia smiled up at her. "Ready."
Together, they walked into emergency. They turned the corner and Gen spotted Dixie at the nurses station. Dixie lit up at the sight of Olivia. "Hey there's my favorite girl."
Olivia squirmed free of Gen's grip and raced directly into Dixie's waiting arms.
So much for not running through emergency.
With a squeal she gave Dixie a toddler size hug.
"Wow, such a great hug," Dixie praised. "How are you today, Olivia?"
"Good," Olivia replied as she looked back at Gen. "Mommy sad."
"Oh?" Dixie replied as her attention drifted to Gen. "Is that so?"
"I'm not sad," Gen insisted. "I just had a moment outside where I was reminded of how fast life is moving. That's all." Once again, Gen reached for Olivia's hand. "Come on sweet pea. It's time to go to daycare so mommy can work."
"Okay, mommy." She took Gen's hand, then waved at Dixie with the other. "Bye, 'ixie."
It took less than ten minutes to get Olivia settled into daycare and make it back to emergency. Dixie walked out of treatment room three and stopped to stare at Gen. "You sure you're okay?"
Despite her sour mood, Gen did her best to smile. She really appreciated how they all looked out for and cared about her, Johnny, and Olivia. Dixie and the others really were good friends in the truest sense. "I'm fine."
"You sure?" Dixie eyed her with an assessing look. "You're feeling okay?"
Gen nodded. "I'm fine. It's just Johnny and I had a fight this morning and I'm a little out of sorts now."
"Uh oh," Dixie murmured. "What did you two fight about now?"
"Olivia's birthday present," Gen replied, then immediately felt petty and stupid when Dixie gave her a reprimanding look.
"Please tell me you're joking."
Gen shook her head. "Unfortunately I'm not."
"Really." Dixie shook her head. "Sometimes you two fight about the stupidest things. You know that right?"
"True," Gen admitted, "But we always end up working it out and I have to admit, the make up sex is amazing."
Dixie cupped her hands over her ears. "Oh no. Too much information there, girlfriend. That's not an image I want in my head the next time I see him."
Gen couldn't help but laugh at Dixie's reaction. "Okay, I won't go on about how amazing he is in bed. Instead, I think it's time I got to work."
Dixie smiled. "I think that's a great idea. Besides, maybe after you see a few patients and get into the swing of things your mood will improve."
"Maybe," Gen murmured as she picked up the next chart in line and headed down the hallway towards the waiting room. What she needed for now was to get her mind off Johnny and on to work.
