Swallowed Tears by SilverHawk

Part 1

Warning: Slash...m/m, f/m. Not into it, move on

Spoilers: Only if you haven't seen Enemy at the Gates
Disclaimer: None. Except I'm sure I've blasphemized the real Vasilli Zaitsev and Danilov but then so did that movie. I mean, the real guy looked no where as lush as Jude. Apologies to the dead.
Archive: Sure. Also http://tbns.net/silverthoughts when I find the time
A/N: This is perverse me who sat watching the movie and instead of appreciating the horrors of the war, I was hoping Jude and Joe would kiss. Or at least see a little butt action from Jude.

Just a note: ~ means memories

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~ "Let me do one thing for you, Vasilli."

Danilov removed his helmut, lifting his head above the broken window. ~

"NO!!!!" Screaming, Vasilli awoke. Small beads of sweat ran down his body as he breathed heavily. Shivering in the night, he wrapped his thin arms around his legs, pulling the covers closer. Trying to forget Danilov. Trying to forget his brown eyes staring up at him as he
lay there. Trying to forget pieces of his skull as it was flung at him. Staining his uniform. Tangled in his hair.

"What is it?"

Vasilli felt the warm comforting arms of Tania. Wrapping herself around him, she snuggled closer to him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her brown eyes searching his haunted blue.

He shook his head. "Nothing," he muttered.

Turning around, he faced Tania, hugging her close. He smoothed her hair, kissing her forehead, her eyes, her lips, parting them with his tongue. She pulled him down as he kissed her neck. His hands slid off her nightgown as she removed his pants. Tracing her hands along Vasilli's thigh, she reached for his penis and massaged it. Grabbing it. Manipulating it. Molesting it. Causing him to gasp. Vasilli pulled her hands away, pinning them above her. His left thigh parted her legs as he sucked on her breasts, feeling her shudder. Sliding his erect cock inside her as she lifted her hips to receive him. He heard Tania's breathing quicken as he pushed harder. Heard her moan softly as she gripped the bedsheets. Saw the flush of her face as he rocked inside her.

With a sigh, he released her. Tania wrapped her arms around him as he cradled her in his arms.

"Do you love me, Vasilli?" she whispered.

He kissed her hair and fell asleep before he could answer. As he closed his eyes, he saw Danilov.

"Why do you haunt me?" Vasilli said. Then everything went dark.

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The warm sun hit his naked skin, blinding him as he opened his eyes the next morning. The smell of coffee and frying bacon made his stomache growl. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Vasilli got up, throwing on a robe.

Entering the kitchen, he saw his wife making breakfast. Hugging her and kissing her cheek, she laughed.

"Morning," he whispered in her ear.

"Here," she said, pushing a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon into his hands.

They sat down to eat as he read the paper. A photo of himself stared back at him. "Monument for Hero Vasilli Zaitsev" it read. His hands shook as he tried to drink his coffee. Tania was talking, but he didn't hear her. Only saw the movement of her lips as he heard Danilov.

~ "A hero, Vasilli. A hero!"

"What do you mean?" Vasilli asked. Confused.

"Shepherd boy kills Germans with only three bullets and courage by his side," Danilov grinned, grabbing Vasilli's face with both his hands. ~

"Vasilli? Vasilli?"

Looking up, he noticed Tania holding the phone.

"It is General Kruschev," she whispered.

As Vasilli held the phone to his ear, he heard the general praising him. Saying he was a gift to the Motherland. That Stalin was proud. That he was to come this evening for an award was to be given in his honor. A statue to be placed somewhere. His rifle encased and shown for all to see.

Nodding, Vasilli politely accepted. Promising to be there that evening and hung up.

"What did he want?" Tania asked.

"He's invited us to see Commrade Stalin," he replied. "I have to head off to the military base. I'll be back this evening to get you."

Kissing her, he left and entered the crisp cold morning air. The crunch of his boots were the only sound penetrating the day, disfiguring the beautiful blanket of white snow.

Pulling the collar of his coat higher, he passed by a bridge. He stopped, blowing on his hands in a vain attempt to keep warm. Looking around, he realized where he was. A rundown little bridge, held together by a few rusty nails.

~ "I'm just a common shepherd boy," Vasilli said. "This man. He is a true marksman. He killed while we were in motion."

"But you will do one better," Danilov exclaimed, gripping his shoulders. "I've seen you shoot. You breathe as he breathes. You become him."

Vasilli pulled away, biting his knuckles until they bled. As he stared into the winter night he said, "I'm going to die, Danilov. And all you care about is your damn writing."

Danilov turned Vasilli around. His forehead wrinkled as he saw the fear in his blue eyes. As a thin film of tears emerged, Vasilli shivered, not from the cold but from the very thought of death.

Pulling him close, Danilov held him, shushing his worries as he wiped the tears away. He bent his head, kissing Vasilli, pushing him against the wall of the bridge. In a feverish incessant need, Vasilli kissed him back, pressing his body against him, holding Danilov
tightly, afraid to let go. But let go they did when they heard the crunching of footsteps on the bridge above them. Jumping away, readjusting themselves. ~

"General Zaitsev."

Startled, Vasilli noticed an army truck.

"Sir, would you like a lift to the base?" asked the young officer.

Nodding, Vasilli hopped in.