I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.
I truly despise the male gender. Especially males that are horny hormonal wolf boys. My hate for males only got worse when I became the only female shape-shifter. My boobs seem to get bigger, my legs longer and thicker, and my abs were stone hard and defined. Any girl would kill for my body and I would kill to get rid of it. The boys were always talking about my ass or my boobs. Paul refers to my boobs as ' big watermelons' and Quil calls them ' jugs'. After hearing that ten times a day, every day, I want to punch the living daylights out of them. Sam often growls under his breath or throws objects at them when they talk about my body. He never goes Alpha command on them or anything, probably because he is thinking the same things they are thinking. I even caught him snickering when Embry threw a fry at me and it landed between my breast. If Emily was still my best friend, I would at least have someone to hang out with that didn't have a third leg.
Don't get me started on Jacob; he was not so bad when he wasn't around the other boys. Of course he is extra hormonal ever since Bella ditched him and went along marrying her ice prick Edward. He had gotten worse at the sex jokes and amused the other when making comments about my body. Seth was always trying to take up for me, but failed whenever the guys teased him about not having an imprint. We decided to join the two packs after the epic battle with the Volturi ( Hint: Absolute sarcasm), which turned out to be the worst mistake ever. Sam and Jacob kind of shared Alpha position, but I don't even think that's possible. It's supposed to be only one Alpha, but who follows rules anymore? Me and Paul share Beta position, worst idea in idea history. Two hotheads in a position of authority equals countless fights and the risk of someone loosing a limb. I don't how many times pack mates had to pull us away from each other before someone died.
" Leah hand me the remote," Embry said with his feet propped up on the coffee table. He had that dumb boyish grin on his face that I wanted to slap off.
" You have two hands get it your damn self," I said not looking up from my magazine. Don't you hate when people ask you to hand them something that is closer to them than to you? Mostly older people do it, but it is even more annoying when someone not on the brink of being on a walker does it.
" Ugh Lee please, I don't feel like getting up," Embry whined. I threw the magazine down and got up to get the remote. Embry smiled as I bent over to retrieve the remote. His smiled instantly disappeared when I threw the remote at his head. " Ouch!"
" Like I said you could have gotten it yourself," I snapped and sat back down.
" Play nice you two," Jacob said coming into the living room with a bowl of popcorn. I swear these boys were going to eat me out of my place. I had moved into an apartment recently and this was the new hang out spot. Jacob plopped down next to me and put his hand on my thigh. " Whatcha doin?" He asked in that annoying voice that kids use when they are trying to be nosy.
" Minding my own business like maybe you should be doing," I said turning the page. I spotted these cute hot pink pumps that would definitely go with my black dress with the hot pink belt. Too bad I never got to actually be a girl anymore. I used to wear make-up and wear little dresses and heels. That was before I grew 5 inches and was forced to run around with these damn boys. Sam and Paul came through the front door with grocery bags in their hands.
" We got some more milk," Sam said holding up the sack in his hand. I nodded in his direction and went back to looking at my magazine.
" Hey you are reading Vogue? Since when do you read girly stuff," Jacob asked snatching the magazine from me. " Whoa look at her legs."
" Give me back my magazine dork," I said trying to grab the magazine. Jacob held it up out of my reach and was amused by me trying to get it. I tackled him down to the couch and ended up on top of him.
" Fucking is for the bedroom," Paul said coming into the living room with a bag of chips.
" Come on Paul, really," Seth said changing the channel to the television. " You had sex with Rachel in a public restroom."
" What!" Jacob pushed me off of him and stood up. Seth smiled in triumph because he knew he was starting something.
" I know not to tell you anything else Seth. Damn," Paul shook his head. Jacob smacked Paul in the back of the head. Paul growled and stood up ready to tackle Jacob.
" Hell no, take it outside! You will not ruin my apartment," I stated stepping in between the two. Paul pushed me aside and stepped towards Jacob.
" Don't push me," I pushed Paul back causing him to growl at me.
" Move Leah,' Paul yelled attempting to push me again but Jacob stepped in between us.
" Don't touch my beta," he warned Paul.
" I'm beta too dumb ass," Paul replied. Jared picked up Paul's chips and began munching on them. He was watching us like we were a movie.
" Jerry, Jerry, Jerry," Jared chanted and then the three stooges had to join him ( Quil, Embry, and Seth).
" You are Sam's beta and she is mine," Jacob said pointing at me.
" Excuse me but I belong to Leah LeAnne Clearwater, not you Black," I exclaimed. We were all yelling at each other before Sam came into the living room.
" Hey cut it out," Sam yelled. We all stopped and looked at him and then turned back to yell at each other. We yelled for another two minutes and then stopped due to the kick I gave Paul to the groin. He rolled around on the floor and Jacob began to taunt him. I sat back on the couch and went back to reading my magazine.
" Damn look at her chest, it looks like she is hiding midgets in there," Quil said looking at the television. I looked up and seen this girl getting interviewed at one of those runway shows. She looked like a Victoria Secrets model.
"No her boobs are no where as big as Leah's," Embry said. I got up and punched him in the chest.
" Shut the hell up," I yelled between punches.
" The sexual remarks about my sister have to stop," Seth said as he pulled me away from Embry. Sam was covering his mouth trying not to laugh. I glared at him and sat back down on the couch.
" And Sam you shouldn't be laughing. You should only be focused on Emily's little mosquito bite tits," I replied. The room filled with roars of laughter. Sam's face turned cold and he got up and went back to the kitchen.
" But you have to admit Leah has melons to Emily's grapes," Jared said eating more chips. I threw my magazine at him and stomped off to my room. I heard Sam yelling at Jared. Ugh, stupid hormonal teen werewolves.
Hope you liked this little one-shot. I don't know if it is possible for a pack to have two Alphas or Betas but we won't get all technical, at least I won't. This one-shot was purely for fun and enjoyment. Reviews make my day! Thanks for reading!
