Letters By C3G
Once and Again
Author notes I don't own the rights to any of this and it's not for sale or publication. Ect.
It had been six months since they were forced to say goodbye. Only a few weeks until her 18th birthday. She'd read "About Love" to the point of religious fever and she'd worked on her story trying to come up with a truthful ending.
She had returned to the US while everyone else was still in Australia. She was living at Judy's because being at dad's just wasn't an option after everything that had happened with August. Despite the occasional sadness that happened when she thought of everything that had occurred the fact that she could finally call him that gave her a kind of peace.
They hadn't spoken since they'd said goodbye in his classroom. She'd written to him though. A ton of letters pilled on the hard drive of her laptop. She hadn't been able to send any of them. She was unsure if he'd want to be brought back to that place or if the wounds were still too fresh. There was also the factor that she didn't know where he was now living. She'd found out he'd move shortly after they'd left.
She also hadn't shared her new stories with anyone. Right now most of them were a little too personal and raw. She'd told Judy what she was working on but it was hard to be fearless and open herself up like that.
It seemed like the only person she'd been able to explain it too was her aunt. Judy had been a total ally and taking her end was beyond anything Grace could have hoped for. Judy hadn't been able to move with everyone because of Book Lovers but she'd finally made the place a success. Having a bookstore/restaurant worked well.
Judy and Sam were also still together and he'd visited often. The flow of things between them seemed to be easy. The time they'd spent trying to be friends seemed only beneficial. It had given them the ability to talk to each other and handle being physically separated.
Grace was amazed to see the amount of commitment that they'd made. She also had to admit that she missed that type of connection. She'd only ever truly felt that way with August.
Of course there had been moments that had been close with Eli but there was always something held back. After everything came out whatever connection she'd had with Eli had changed drastically. He looked at her as if she had either been a victim of something terrible or she had betrayed him in some way. It was the same pitying contempt that she saw on Rick and her mother's faces.
Over the summer while she was in Australia there was still the awkwardness between them. They never brought up what had happened with August as if trying to pretend nothing had happened. So she'd given it the summer waiting to see if it would fade. She'd gone to therapy as her mother ordered. Spent time with Dr. Smith trying to help her deal with her "trauma;" that's what they called her relationship with him whenever they decided to speak about it. The doctor of course had given her a prescription of pills to try to regulate her. She'd quickly learned how to hide them knowing that there was nothing wrong with her.
The arguments she'd had with her mother about the drugs just fell in a long line with others. Her mother had tried to monitor every element of her life. Grace had a feeling her journals were looked at and her pc watched.
She got a part-time job as soon as she could to get out of the house. The money she'd saved from it had gone to buying the laptop she'd become accustomed to carrying with her everywhere. It fit comfortably in her backpack and for a long time no one had known of its existence.
She'd made sure to also password lock the things she hadn't wanted her mom to see. It turns out her over protectiveness was warranted when one day she'd left her backpack out when she was going to get a snack. She'd returned to find Lilly in the living room trying to unlock it. The fight that ensued was the reason she'd left.
"What is this Grace?" Lilly had yelled looking up from the laptops monitor.
"I can't believe you're going through my things!"
As the pitying look in Lilly's eyes change to one of contempt she heard her ask "You're still in touch with him aren't you!! Unlock this Grace!" Lilly reached out for Grace's arm.
"No" Grace said jerking away. "I get to have something that's mine."
"Grace I can't believe you'd let yourself be a victim like this."
To that Grace laughed. "I never was a victim mom! He never let me do anything. He was so worried about what you people would say and do. I tried… Oh how I tried...."
At that point Lilly had reached over and slapped her across the face. The pain and burning was sudden and fierce. It gave Grace what she'd needed though. Her laptop and backpack were free. Grace reached over and shoved the laptop into the bag.
The second after it happened Lilly pulled back in shock. She looked down at her hand realizing what she'd done. In that moment Grace threw her bag over her shoulder and ran out the front door.
