KURO HERE!!:Everybody be afraid...it has happened, me ((XxKuroyoxX)) and Ro ((Veggie Blue Raven)) have combined our craziness and insanity and made a fic together!

RO-CHAN TAKING OVER!!: If you do not know who we are then you are in for a wild ride BUT i shall not give anything away, you have to read...so hold on to your hats

KURO PUSHING HER WAY IN!!: KEEP your hands, tenticles and tails to yourself at all times ((WE do not want any law suits on our hands))

RO-CHAN PUSHING BACK!: and enjoy our fic-OUCH! DON'T MAKE ME HOG TIE YOU!

KURO: JUST TRY IT WOMAN!!

Disclaimer: We no own any DBZ characters, we do own ourselves though o.o so DO NOT STEAL US!


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~INTRO~

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WELL ladies, gents, aliens, and woodland creatures, this is Kuro and Ro-Chan (aka VeggieBlueRaven). We have recently embarked on a mission to interview the Z sensei, along with various other villains and characters that don't get enough LOVE and end up with serious drinking problems. *cough cough* Dende *cough*

Aided by a strange mix of insanity, curiosity, general lack of common sense, and a strong will to survive, we shall travel into their lives and uncover the truths that Funimation didn't want you to see. Everything you had suspicions about, we shall, at risk of life and limb, discover and report it here for your enjoyment and piece of mind. You may start thanking us at any time. Seriously, we DESERVE it!

Although the journey will no doubt be deadly, with all these Saiyans and powerful fighters to interview about things they thought they could hide away, we will do it because WE ARE CRAZY and think it will make a great fic! YOU PEOPLE BETTER LOVE US FOR IT!! AND GIVE US COOKIES, AND SEND US LOTS OF FIRST AID IN THE MAIL!!! BUT ESPECIALLY COOKIES!!

However, not only will we interview, we shall SPY for the pure evil enjoyment of it! Thereby finding out all that we can! We will also do it for the enjoyment of dressing up in crazy costumes so they don't know who we are. Yay! Wearing mustaches is fun. So are midgets…=P


How It All Started - The Auditions

'Camera static, how very interesting.' Turles thought, eyeing the TV screen with distaste as he folded a small piece of paper. Why did they have to make him sit here and do all this boring stuff? He was a TV star now! (cough, cough, Eat it Kakarott! cough) This is what he had lackeys for! What was the point of having lackeys if you still had to do the boring stuff yourself? This was the 52nd video audition he'd watched today and he was dying of boredom in this little dark room. Why did they have to do this in a little dark room anyway? Why couldn't it be in a BIG dark room? One that had those cool glow in the dark star stickers on the ceiling? He liked big dark rooms like that cause then he could pretend he was out in space taking over planets with his henchmen instead of being forced to pay attention to his work. Ah, how he missed having henchmen, they were better than lackeys but more expensive too.

Turles growled in irritation, the little dark room was filled with TV producers, all of which happened to be just as boring as the TV static on the screen. It was too bad he'd gotten fired from being a bad guy, being a bad guy was a cool job. Scratch that, it was the BESTEST most AWESOMEST job in the whole wide world! Turles sighed loudly and continued folding his little piece of paper "Would you look at that" he murmured "A swan." Dang he was good! Fingering the small origami piece thoughtfully, he grinned and quickly whipped it at the nearest producer.

Said producer was not so pleased...in fact, said producer was now unconscious. It may have only been paper, but having it thrown at you by a Saiyan made it feel like taking a brick to the head. Ever had a brick to the head? Yes? No? Maybe? Of course, it's not like you would remember anyway, bricks usually come with the side effect of being knocked out followed by brain damage and memory loss. So who knows, maybe you have!

Finally the screen appeared to show more then just static.

"YES!" the Goku look-alike shouted before he noticed the truth. It was all blank. Kami that was sad, an empty black screen was now the only thing to cheer for in this room. And who cheered for black screens? Nobody, that's who. Why? Because black screens were BORING, just like STATIC. Come ON people!

"Okay, okay, it's on!" a female voice sounded, although the screen was still black. Turles sighed, he had seen this before. The damn cameraman forgot to take off the lens cover, there had been about 15 cameramen that had done the same thing today. One guy had left the camera lens on for the whole audition, the WHOLE freakin' thing! Oh, what a lovely twenty minutes THAT was!

"KURO!" a male voice shouted "You need to take off the lens thinga mabob!" Oh great, he uses THINGAMABOB, this should be interesting. Turles just loved it when they used technical jargon. What was next? Did he forget to turn on the doohickey? Or maybe he needed a wachamacallit.

Suddenly light filled the screen as a picture came into view...it looked like a huge green eye. Turles stared at the screen. Well, it wasn't an empty black screen anymore, but this was sort of freaky.

"Hey, don't use that tone of voice with me!" he heard the female voice again. Ooo, now it was a large angry eye. Scary…

Suddenly, the camera flipped around and it settled on a male figure. The man ran his hands obsessively through his little fringe; obviously thinking that it wasn't perfect enough.

'Why,' Turles thought blankly, 'is he messing around with his fringe when the rest of his hair is the messiest I have ever seen?' It was true! The guy's do was completely messed up, more so then his! And that was saying something, since he was a Saiyan and they always had freakishly messed up hair. How Turles got his hair to sit like that he didn't much care, hair products didn't interest him any. He didn't need them, his hair was naturally freaky.

The man sighed, slumping forward slightly. "Fine, I'm sorry Kuro, but this is an AUDITION! I cannot mess this one up! Not like the last one…" he whined.

"What do ya- ohh you mean when the Me and Twin came in wearing those leotards-"

Turles cocked his head to the side. What were they talking about? Didn't this guy know the tape was already rolling? Get on with it man!

"YES DAMNIT THAT TIME!" the guy huffed, looking quite flustered. Quickly composing himself, the man cleared his throat and straightened out his shirt - then again started playing with his fringe.

"STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR FRINGE YOU IDIOT AND FIX YOUR GODDAMNED HAIR!" Turles roared, shooting straight up out of his chair. The other producers around him sent him many strange looks as he sat back down and flipped irritably through the paper in front of him. He needed to get out soon; this place was really starting to make him go crazy if all he was worried about was that man's hair. How hard could it be to find two people for a show, just two? That was all he needed. TWO! It shouldn't be this hard!

The man cleared his throat again and Turles had to suppress the urge to yell at the screen.

"Okay...HI! My name is Dakren and this is my job audition for your new interview show!" Oh kami...he sounded happy. Turles groaned. Oh, what it was like to be happy. It felt like YEARS now since he had last been happy. But in reality, it had only been since this morning when he had beaten Raditz and won the last doughnut at breakfast. Yes, he was very happy then.

Turles smiled 'That was a good doughnut, chocolate frosting, colored sprinkles, spongy to bite into...Oh man, I'm hungry.'

"Now, I think I am qualified because-"

"Sweety, just stop now." his camera woman cut in. Turles thanked the girl silently, Dakren did not looked so pleased though. "This is just plain boring, you need personality not qualifications! If your going to be working with these people they need to see who you are!" Dakren sniffed, crossing his arms over his chest in some sort of defiance.

"Kuro this is my au-"

"You sent in your resume, did you not?"

Dakren rolled his eyes "Yes" he drawled.

"Then they know your qualifications, SHOW SOME PERSONALITY! Show what you can handle and what you are like! No doubt these poor people have watched about 6 kagillion of these interviews about 'qualifications.'"

"PRAISE THE LORD!" Turles cried jumping out of his seat again in joy.

"MAKE THEIR DAY ENTERTAINING! It is an interview for a TV show for gods sake! They don't need some yuppy who is just as boring as bat shit."

"HALLELUJAH!" he shouted again.

"How would you feel if you were sitting in a stuffy room all day watching video's! Half of them probably don't even want to be there!!"

"YOU TELL IT SISTER!"

Dakren's eyes widened considerably as he looked at the camera. "What do you suggest?"

The girl was silent for a few moments. "I KNOW!" she shouted, juggling the video camera and going in close to Dakren's face. "FOXY BOXING!" she cheered.

Dakren started.

Producers stared.

Turles stared.

"HOW THE HELL WILL THAT SHOW ANY OF MY PERSONALITY?!" Dakren shouted angrily, snatching the camera away from the girl and pointing it down towards his shoes. He was probably trying to stop the recording, but he wasn't succeeding very well. But he had lovely shoes. Wait, that's not important.

Suddenly, the camera was pointed at the girl, her red hair flashing into view was a tad bit of a surprise. "Hey, nobody cares about you at the moment, get to the foxy boxing! Come on! FOXY BOXING!!"

Turles blinked, this was it! This was his chance to escape! The girl had enough character for him, she'd do fine.

"WE'RE HIRING THAT GIRL!! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DAMN TV PRODUCERS SAY, EITHER WAY I AM OUT OF THIS ROOM TO GET A BLASTED DOUGHNUT WITH SPRINKLES!" Turles screamed. Then, he blasted a hole in the wall and stomped out whooping and shouting something along the lines of "FREEDOM, OH SWEET FREEDOM!"

"WAIT! Turles even if we hire her you can't leave yet! We still need another reporter!" an unfortunate young producer ran out after him. Why was he unfortunate you ask? He'd just told a Saiyan that he couldn't have his doughnut; that's a BIG no-no! Like one of the biggest no-no's there is! Forget unfortunate, he was DOOMED. Doomed to die a death of a thousand screams. Well, probably just one or two screams actually, since Turles was in a hurry right now. He had a doughnut to get to after all.

"Hey! Is it my turn yet?" someone shouted from behind them.

Turles, who was just about to ki blast the idiot producer who had stopped him from leaving, turned around to see who was yelling at him. A gray-eyed girl with blond hair carrying a rope stood in front of him jumping up and down excitedly....hold on, rope? That was certainly odd...

"Come on, come on, come on! They said I was next! Lemme go! Lemme go!" she begged.

Turles raised an eyebrow questioningly at the rope. "What are you here for?"

Maybe she was here to catch that rogue midget - which would be a great thing! The damned man had escaped into the ventilation system and completely destroyed their air conditioning. Not to mention the horrible smell that the leprechaun possessed, which was NOT GOOD! Plus, he was sure that the short fat man was watching him. Turles couldn't even remember the last time any employee went to the bathroom in this building...

"I wanna be a reporter!" The rope bearing girl shouted. Turles blinked in surprise. Ah dang... Then who was going to catch that blasted leprechaun?! Seriously! He was getting tired of having to go all the way back home to pee.

"Um ookay… Fine girl, you got thirty seconds to impress me." Turles crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her. Dang it! He wanted his doughnut!

"What?! You can't just blow me off like that! I've been waiting for freakin' ever out here! Why do you want to get out of here so bad, huh pal? Got a secret meeting planned?" she eyed Turles suspiciously and marched up to him. "I think you're up to something!"

Turles started to back up. This girl wasn't quite normal and he didn't like to deal with crazy people on an empty stomach. Just then, a lasso appeared around him and he found him self being dragged to the floor. Huh, so that was what the rope was for. Now how about that?

Suddenly, the girl's foot came down on his chest. Crap! She had him cornered. "You know, you're a mighty suspicious character! Just what exactly is your relationship with Goku anyway? Why do you guys look alike? Are you a clone? An evil twin? A BAD PLOT TWIST?!?" Turles started. Now, that was just RUDE. He was a cool bad guy! And why was she comparing him to that idiot?! Just because they LOOKED alike didn't make him a clone! For all she knew, GOKU was the clone!

"And where did you find that freaky planet eating tree in the first place? Does the Department of Agriculture know about that thing? How come you didn't die with the rest of the Saiyans? Where did you pick up those freaky henchmen? And what sort of crazy synapses misfire made you think you could be a FARMER?!" she demanded.

Turles blinked and the group of producers edged away from the two of them. Didn't anybody normal ever show up here? Not that they wanted anybody too normal. But, someone who hadn't fallen out of the loony bin and landed on their head would be nice for a change.

Just then, the girl looked down at her watch and smiled. She quickly undid the rope and stepped back. Turles sat up feeling confused.

"See? I can hog-tie and interrogate the target in thirty seconds!" She grinned.

"Umm, well…this is an interview show not a rodeo-"

"And I have doughnuts." She whipped out a tray of pastries and held it in front of Turles. Turles's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and he started to drool.

DOUGHNUTS!!!

He looked at them closer. Beautiful sweet tasty wonders! AND THEY HAD SPRINKLES! HOT DANG! He grabbed the tray and looked at the girl. "You got the job!"

Grinning, Turles stood up and began downing doughnuts at the speed of light. "What's your name, anyway?" He asked the girl quickly.

"Um, I go by Veggie Blue Raven, but my real name-"

"Yeah, NO. That's not gonna work. I can't be bothered with remembering all of that. You're Ro from now on."

"But, my name isn't-" the newly dubbed Ro frowned.

"And go catch that midget while your here." he added.

"Midg- wha... Huh?"

But Turles just waved her away, blasted the idiot producer from earlier, and skipped off down the hall with his tray of lovelies. Ah, freedom and doughnuts. What more could a man ask for?

Thus, out of sheer will to be free and the determination to get a doughnut, Kuro and Ro-chan were hired


And this...is just the BEGINNING, R&R PLEASE, it makes us happy and increases the chance of us updating BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA