Well... here this is. I... just don't know. I keep listening to the songs and just... yeah.
Warnings: Death (you shouldn't be too offended by it...), bits of insanity, homosexuality
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Chalk Outline
HP AU
By:
Kiyoshi Michi
My hands are shaking.
I don't even have to look at them – I can feel the tremors moving the muscles in my wrists. But a crazed smile still stretches my lips and I can't help but to feel satisfied. I forget the blood splattering the walls and soaking my clothes and running down my skin. What care have I for blood anymore?
My head jerks around as I hear sirens sounding down the street. They found me out already. Still… I just don't care. My eyes move back to the pure carnage that litters the floor. I chuckle darkly to myself. They really are litter, aren't they? Those sodding fools are now nothing more than fucking stains on the floor and piles of fleshy, pulpy mess.
I can't tear my eyes away as the door is kicked in, men in what looked like normal Muggle police uniforms screaming at me to put my hands in the air. I smirk as I realize they're just like me – members of the Wizarding society. I just know there are neighbors standing outside the Dursley home while men continue to scream at me.
With a last content look at the bodies, I slowly raise my hands into the air above my head, laughing out loud when the blood drips onto my face. Even though they're Wizards, the men behind me are all carrying guns… large ones… and all of them are aimed at me. As slowly as I possibly can, I turn around to face them, watching a few of them lower their weapons in shock.
I know what look I have on my face. A dangerous smirk is still pulling at my lips as I look at them from beneath my brow. Blood is smeared all over my skin and all this does is add to the deranged glint in my eyes. I know what they are seeing because I had seen it in the mirror naught but three minutes ago.
With everyone watching, even the neighbors, my lips pull back even more and reveal a set of teeth filed to a point. Everyone who had lowered their weapon is now pulling it back up, fear making their eyes sparkle. I run my tongue over my teeth then speak.
"I surrender."
The men all rush forward at once, grabbing at me and throwing me to the ground to subdue. After a particularly harsh knock to the head, my world goes black.
Severus Snape was not a man who could be easily surprised.
This was a well known fact among anyone who had the pleasure of knowing him. Nothing got past his eagle-eyed gaze. He knew your deepest secrets before you even came to terms with them. He knew people's habits, good and bad, after only a few moments of observation. He was the Wizard version of the famous fictional Sherlock Holmes.
Except he did all this for his own pleasure and nothing more.
However, Severus could safely say shocked did not even cover the full gamut of what he was experiencing the day he walked into that courtroom and saw one Harry Potter sitting at the front, this deranged smirk marring his face while his darkened green eyes peered all around the room in a deliberate slowness that intimidated everyone but Severus. He kept making strange gestures near his face – running a single finger vertically down his lips, brushing his left brow, holding his hand up to split his face in half. Severus reached behind him to find the seat and slowly sat, his gaze locked on his student who should have been returning for his sixth year at Hogwarts.
Instead, here he was, awaiting a trial for the murder of the Dursleys.
Severus had arrived late, so proceedings were already underway and the prosecutor seemed frustrated over something. "Mister Potter, please, just tell us what happened that day."
"You keep coming back to the scene of the crime but the dead can't speak and there's nothing left to say anyway."
Severus felt his brows furrow – that damned brat was actually singing. The prosecutor sighed and rubbed at his forehead. Had he been doing that this entire time? That Potter brat was still smirking, moving his head in this very distinct pattern that had Severus wondering…
What happened to the boy?
Ignoring all the normal proceedings, seeing as this was not going nowhere anyway, Severus stood and interrupted the man doing his job. "Potter, what the hell happened to you?" Potter looked around the man in front of him, the smirk still in place, but his eyes conveying curiosity before he opened his mouth, again to sing his answer.
"I've been cursed. I've been crossed. I've been beaten by the ones that get me off. I've been cut. I've been opened up. I've been shattered by the ones I thought I loved."
Something definitely was not right here. The boy seemed to be unable to actually speak, his expression had insanity rolling off it in waves, and to top it all off, he was not denying that he had killed the Dursleys. Had his student really gone 'round the bend like that? Had he killed the family raising him after going stark raving mad? Severus leaned back in his seat and watched as prosecutor and Potter's defending attorney alike had no success getting any answers from the boy.
As Potter continued to sing nonsensical things, Severus began to ponder on what Potter was actually saying. He thought the court was going about this all wrong – it was clear Potter was not going to actually speak unless it was in song form. Maybe if someone bothered to actually pay attention to the lyrics, they would get their answers. His song had been very clear when Severus asked what had happened to him.
"Life in Azkaban."
Severus startled in his seat, looking up to the man now leaving the room after announcing what he assumed to be the sentence. They had come to a conclusion so quickly? The boy was not even tried properly! The smirk fell from his face, but only an open curiosity replaced it as he watched the people filing from the room, his sharpened teeth gleaming in the bright lights.
Severus found he could not look at that open, earnest expression anymore and was relieved when Potter was guided from the room. With a sigh, he stood and rubbed at his temples as he walked from the courtroom, feeling older than he had in a long time.
"I need to speak with Lupin, loath though I am to do such a thing…"
It was only a few days later that Severus walked into Azkaban with one Remus Lupin in tow. He appeared to shrink in on himself as they walked past the threshold into the hideous building. Severus realized he was going to have to be the stronger of the two, which he was prepared for – he was Severus Snape. Not even the utter hopelessness that emanated from Azkaban could scare him off.
There was already a guard waiting for them past the door, and without so much as a wave, he was leading the two-person group deep into the bowels of the hellhole. Severus made sure to memorize the way just in case anything happened, especially since he would likely have to tow a useless were-wolf behind him.
"Here he is."
Severus turned and looked into a dark cell that seemed to be empty. His brows furrowed as he tried to peer into the impenetrable darkness before startling when a face of wide green eyes and that deranged smirk was pressed up against the bars, thin fingers wrapped so tightly around the bars that the knuckles were white. The guard was now on the other side of the hall, apparently having taken a safe distance since Lupin was there with him. Severus rolled his eyes and turned to look back at the boy.
"Hello Potter. Seems like you've gotten yourself into quite the predicament."
That smirk became an insane smile, the sharpened teeth looking even more threatening under the guise of playful innocence. Then, one of those pale fingers moved up and pressed to his red lips in a gesture to remain silent. Severus felt his eyes narrowing – what did the boy want him to remain silent about? He knew nothing of great import when it involved the Potter boy.
Then, Potter crooked his finger, telling Severus to come in closer. So he did. Then the boy began to whisper into his ear, still singing. "Bas elli zay el ward tgarah. Men kotr garhu ma ba'ash fi matrah. Leek aw legherak ebaad wu ensani. Da elli kasartu amro ma yitsalah." Then the boy was gone into the darkness again, the only sign he had been there the ringing of lyrics in his head in a language he did not know.
Severus turned to speak with Lupin, but the guard was already walking back the way they came and Lupin was following. Severus grumbled under his breath and followed the men back up and was all but pushed outside the dreary building. Finally, he got a chance to speak to the were-wolf. "What languages do you know?"
"What? Why?"
"Potter whispered more lyrics to me, and though I have them memorized, I do not recognize the language."
Lupin gave him a strange look, so he spewed the same lyrics that Potter had given him. A pensive expression took over the were-wolf's features as he appeared to think over these words. Then, it changed to understanding and he worried his lower lip between his teeth. An annoyed huff from the Potion's Master urged him to reveal what he knew. "Uh… that language is Arabic. It means 'But someone like me has gotten hurt before. From all the hurts, there are no more places to be hurt again. To you and everyone else, stay away and forget me. What you have done… can't be replaced.'"
"… why would Potter sing such a thing?"
"He's insane, Severus. He doesn't know what he's doing anymore. I… please don't drag me back here. I can't stand seeing him like that."
With that, Lupin was off to find the Apparition point while Severus was left to ponder what the man said. Potter may have been insane, but Severus really felt like he was trying to tell them in song what he no longer could with the spoken word. He looked over his shoulder to the imposing building behind him and felt his own resolve strengthen.
Something was very wrong here and he was going to find out what it was.
Severus watched as Potter twirled about in his cell, humming a song loudly. Severus took a seat to watch as the moves became more deliberate. "When cold wind is a' calling and the sky is clear and bright, misty mountains sing and beckon, lead me out into the light. I will ride, I will fly, chase the wind and touch the sky. I will fly, chase the wind and touch the sky."
It was one of the more uplifting of the songs he had been listening to Potter sing for a month now. He sucked in a breath when Potter stopped his twirling to actually stare at him, a bright smile stretching his face. It wasn't his normal deranged smirk or that crazy smile that made his eyes shine with madness – it was a genuine smile.
"Where dark woods hide secrets and mountains are fierce and bold, deep waters hold reflections of times lost long ago. I will hear their every story, take hold of my own dream, be as strong as the seas are stormy and proud as an eagle's scream."
Potter stopped and his arms dropped back to his sides, that only smile Severus had seen in a month falling as the boy's brows furrowed, as if he was confused. His green eyes feel on Severus once more, and the Potion's Master then knew with one-hundred percent certainty that something was definitely wrong.
His eyes were completely lucid as he pressed himself up against the bars, reaching through until his dirty fingers almost grasped at Severus' robes. His voice was scratchy, despite the fact he kept singing, when he finally spoke.
"Help."
That boy's expression, his eyes… he looked so torn, dejected, hopeless. Severus moved closer and let Potter grab onto the fabric as if Severus would just up and disappear. "How, Potter? I don't know what is wrong. You killed your family and now you speak only in song… songs that I am having a very difficult time interpreting."
His green eyes moved to stare at his feet, which Severus noticed were bare and turning slightly purple. Was the boy always cold, because it certainly seemed like it. Finally, Potter looked back at him, his lips brushing against the bar as he spoke again.
"An Eala Bhàn."
Severus made a face – why was the boy referring to a traditional Gàidhlig song? He wished to ask Potter what he was talking about, but that dreamy look came to his eyes again and Potter was smiling serenely. Severus sighed as the prisoner began singing a different Gàidhlig song.
"Cha b' e sneachda 's an reòthadh bho thuath, cha b' e 'n crannadh fuar bho 'n ear. Cha b 'e 'n uisge 's an gailleon bho 'n iar, ach an galair a bhlean bho 'n deas. Blàth, duilleach, stoc, agus freumh canan mo threubh 's mo shluaidh."
Severus knew the boy was singing nonsense at this point, just a song to fill the empty space where sound should have been. He waved goodbye to the dancing Potter before making his way from the prison. He reached the Apparition point and took a deep breath.
He could not believe he was going to do this.
With nary a thought more than that, Severus found himself outside the home of one Sirius Black. He may have been the black sheep of his family and Severus may hate his very existence, but the Blacks taught all their children Scottish history and he knew Black was old enough to know the ballad of Dòmhnall Ruadh Chorùna…
And what it could possibly do with the man's godson.
Steeling those wonderful nerves of his, Severus walked briskly up to the front door and knocked only once. If Black did not open his door within thirty seconds, he was going to break it down. Severus raised a brow when the door opened – he only had to wait ten seconds before Black was glaring at him, dark rings around his eyes.
"What, Snape?"
"I have been visiting your godson in Azkaban every day for a month and I believe I am close to a breakthrough as to what this is really about. However… loathe though I am to admit it, I need your help. Your family has kept a very accurate history of the English Isles, and I am in need of any knowledge you have in regards to 'An Eala Bhàn'."
Black raised a brow. "A bleeding love song?"
"It is the last thing your godson said when he was lucid… and actually speaking."
Black stared at Severus a moment longer before opening the door wider and stepping out of the way. Severus let out the breath he had been holding and walked into the house, ready to speak to the man he had never forgiven for a boy he still called Potter instead of Harry.
Severus glared at the bars as he worked a trick that the mangy mutt had taught him. Apparently, having spent so long in Azkaban taught you a few things about how the environment worked. It was how Black had escaped his actual cell apparently. And the entire time Severus was working his magic into the bar, Harry's song was forcing him to move faster.
"This love it is a distant star, guiding us home wherever we are. This is love it is a burning sun, shining light on the things that we've done. I tried to speak to you every day, but each word we spoke, the wind blew away."
The boy was staring at him from across the cell, picking at his hands, as if he was nervous. Why? Perhaps because he was about to be an escapee…
Or because he was basically confessing a love for the dour Potion's Master.
"Could these walls come crumbling down? I want to feel my feet on the ground." Severus paused for a second, gob smacked. Potter was still lucid. "And leave behind this prison we share – step into the open air."
Severus doubled his efforts to get these damned bars to just up and disappear, as Black said they did with him. He had to get Potter – Harry – out of here before he was lost completely to him and Black and Lupin. Black had been almost furious when he realized Harry had been singing love songs to Severus for awhile. But the Potion's Master could offer up no explanation to the enraged man – he and Harry had not had any relationship before he was incarcerated and he very much doubted it was just because he was the only one to visit Harry.
"How did we let it come to this? What we just tasted we somehow still miss."
Severus almost bit his tongue completely through. What the hell could this boy see that he could not? While the boy apparently loved him quite deeply, Severus could not say the same for himself, though he was definitely seeing Harry in a new light. Even supposedly insane, he was intelligent and definitely the son of a Marauder. What he was unable to openly say he mixed into indirect messages in songs that not many would know.
Hell, most of them were lost on Severus until he managed to decide the Muggle route was the best one to use at that point.
"How will it feel when this day is done and can we keep what we've only begun?"
Severus looked up and saw that Harry had moved to the bars, staring at him with that lucid look in his eyes again. He knew what the dour man was doing and he was waiting just as eagerly as Severus was. Severus almost gave a loud shout when the bars suddenly disappeared, but gave it up so as not to be caught and to instead catch Harry as he suddenly pitched forward, the bars no longer holding up his weight. The boy looked around for a moment before looking to Severus, a bright smile stretching his lips as he continued the song, whispering now.
"And now these walls come crumbling down. And I can feel my feet on the ground."
Severus almost snorted – the boy's feet weren't even touching the ground. But, he supposed he could get what the boy was saying. Slowly, he got the boy standing again and was going to turn around to lead them out the secret entrance Black had used during his escape and was waiting near, but was stopped by a small hand on his upper arm. Severus looked back at the green eyes of his former student, who looked sad now… for some inexplicable reason.
"Can we carry this love that we share into the open air?"
And now Severus understood why the boy was so dejected, despite his freedom from the cell. But now was not the time. "Harry… right now, I am trying to get you away from this place you should never have been forced into. Besides, it would be better to answer this question in the 'open air' so you have an honest answer."
The boy stared at him a moment longer before nodding, and allowing the Potion's Master to drag him quickly down halls and silently past any obstacles. In Harry's section, there really were not any guards, which Severus just believed showed him how Black had been able to escape so easily and how they were able to do it now. With a quick look around to ensure they were not seen, Severus shoved Harry through a small opening before slipping in behind him. "There is only one direction to walk."
And so they walked, Severus behind Harry with a guiding hand on his back to keep him moving forward whenever he got too nervous or scared to move. "Harry… your godfather is waiting just outside this exit. He came back to his place of torment to help you. You should make sure his efforts were not in vain."
That really got the boy moving. He was practically running. Severus chuckled and increased his pace to keep up, nearly hissing when the inky blackness was destroyed by an intense light and he found himself tumbling from the opening and into a man already overburdened by a human. Down all three of them went and there was this awkward moment where Severus wanted to Crucio himself until he heard a strange sound. He looked to Black first, who was staring in shock at Harry.
He was laughing.
Severus stared in shock for a few moments before he felt something bubble up in his chest and he soon found himself laughing along with the boy, Black following suit not too long after. They really should be getting out of here as quickly as possible, but why ruin the first time the boy had laughed in a very long time?
Of course, it did not take long for all of Wizarding Britain to discover the Boy-Who-Lived was gone from his cell in Azkaban. Then again, I still can't go anywhere without anyone noticing. But now, the attention is much more appreciated and I find myself craving constant companionship. Sirius is quick to provide me with entertainment so I don't go mad from boredom while Remus proves quite the wonderful person to open to.
I finally managed to explain myself to Remus, who acts as my therapist. I told him of the events that led up to it, and how I just snapped when I found out Dumbledore had done it on purpose and I was still sent back. Remus says I am adjusting much better to my situation now, much better than I would have been had I stayed in Azkaban.
That's actually why we left Britain.
Right now, we're hiding away somewhere. I can't say where, on the off chance that someone from the Ministry finds this and comes to whisk me away and take away my family.
Oh, I suppose I have left Severus out of this, but don't worry! He's still here and he's still just as important to me as he was when he visited me in Azkaban. Well, he might be more important now since he did say "yes" when we got out of the tunnel. And we were in the open air, so it counted then and it still counts now.
Sirius still isn't entirely happy with the arrangement, but he's amicable since Severus did throw all his time into helping me. Remus is much happier with it. He says Severus is good for me while I recover, mentally and physically. Remus also has the decency to look away when Severus kisses me, while Sirius just stares like we're three-headed aliens or some such tripe. I've called him out on it… and how I actually have the common courtesy to ignore him and Remus going at it.
That gets him to stop real quick… though I then feel bad for dragging Remus into it.
Well, I suppose I should wrap this up soon. Severus is giving me "that" look, the one that means Sirius about to wish the house was much bigger and our room was much further away from his and Remus'.
Severus doesn't like to put up silencing charms because he really likes to mess with Sirius' head.
So, to end this all, I no longer sing all my responses, I am doing quite well in my recovery, and I am very much loved nowadays. All in all, I am quite happy.
Songs in order of appearance:
Chalk Outline – Three Days Grace
Saharny Sahar – Nancy Ajram
Touch the Sky – Julie Fowlis
Canan nan Gaidheal – Dan Ar Braz
Into the Open Air – Julie Fowlis
Blame Brave for this… I love the music from that movie. And for those who are curious about An Eala Bhàn, you can find it on YouTube. My favorite version is the one sung by Julie Fowlis. It's beautiful.
Anyway, there it is! R&R
