Ok this is a weird idea, but whatever. I like it, and it's my first time doing this… so be nice or face my wrath!!!! Mwahahahahaha! And if you're wondering how I got this idea check out my profile, or just look at my "name" for crying out loud! Anyway, hope you like it! Oh yeah, it will follow the basic plotline, but not by much. The characters will all be a little different too. This is ddicated to NoDayBut2Day525600 because she's my friend, and I probably wouldn't be writing this story if she hadn't been nagging me to write one.

Disclaimer: Not mine. : (

"I'm a wizard!?"

"Not only that, but you have been accepted to Hogwarts, the wizarding version of a muggle military academy." said the massive man with a buzz cut.

"Huh? What's a muggle? And who are you?" asked the small boy with big black glasses.

"A muggle is a non magical person, and I am Colonel Rubeus Hagrid. You will address me either by Colonel, Colonel Hagrid, or sir."

"Oookaaay."

"Ok what!?"

"Okay sir."

"Better. I will be taking you to Diagon Alley tomorrow at o'six hundred hours sharp."

The next day Hagrid came at 6:00 sharp. He was dressed in camouflaged cargo pants, combat boots and a white t-shirt that looked like it had been painted on. You could see his bulging muscles very clearly. On top of that he was almost twice as large as a normal human. All and all it was very intimidating.

Harry stood next to him looking very small and weak and a little scared. Hagrid was staring at Harry like he had done something wrong, either that or he had a skunk living in his nose.

"Stand up strait! No slouching!" shouted Hagrid.

Harry quickly complied so as not to get on Hagrid's bad side. Then he yawned.

"No yawning!"

Harry stared back at him like he was nuts, opened his mouth to ask why, but decided against it. Hagrid was obviously not a morning person. Right before Harry and Hagrid entered Diagon Alley, Hagrid warned Harry that people might stare at him.

"Why would they stare at me?" asked Harry.

"You're famous, but don't expect any special privileges when you get to Hogwarts"

"Me famous? Why? What did I do?"

"You are the boy who lived. When you were a baby You Know Who killed your parents and tried to kill you with the killing curse, but something weird happened. You did not die. Soon after that You Know Who disappeared. You are the first person to have survived the killing curse." Hagrid said as if he were reciting a list.

"Who?" said Harry his eyes growing wide at the information.

"You Know Who, He Who Must Not Be Named, The Dark Lord, V-V-Voldemort. He has many names No one ever refers to him as Vol… You Know Who. It is not a good idea. He tried to take over the wizarding world before you defeated him some how."

"My parents didn't die in a car crash? This Voldemort guy killed them?"

"Are you def? That's what I said! And don't ever say his name again."

"Ok."

"What?"

"Yes sir?"

"Hmmmpf."

Do ya like it? Please review! Hopefuly I will be able to update this week, but if not I will definatly update by next weekend. (Even if it is 11:00 on Sunday night) : )

-Fighter Pilot