Every Naruto Character has a problem with someone else or something else. That's why I'm here today, I am going to solve all of they're problems! We will first talk to Sakura. I will go by the name Slushy for now.

Underlined words are I!!!

Italics are what there thinking and what's happening

Bold is translations

……………………….

Slushy: Sakura what's your problem?

Sakura: well I love Sasuke to death but he doesn't

Slushy: oh he notices you!

Sakura: what?

Slushy: nothing, have you ever tried …you know…acting like you don't like him?

Sakura: no

Slushy: well lets try it! Sasuke will you please join us?

Sasuke comes into the room and sits next to Sakura.

Inner Sakura: remember, you don't like him!

Sakura: right!

Slushy: now that were all here, you two start a conversation!

Sasuke: …

Sakura; what's your favorite color?

Sasuke: …black

Sakura: that's not a color,

Sasuke: yes it is!

Sakura: is not!!

Slushy: guys?

Sasuke: you weak moron it is too a color!!!

Sakura: look here you Emo freak! Black is a combination of all the colors!!

Slushy: hello?

Sasuke: Look here , I love Black and it is a ing color!!!!

We were unable to show the following footage so we will show you what happened after

The chaos.

Slushy: now are you guys better now?

Sasuke: ya, sorry Sakura.

Sakura: its ok Sasuke black is a color.

Sasuke" I know.

Sakura: …

Slushy: ok now that that's solved we can go onto...Sasuke's problem!

Sasuke what's your problem?

Sasuke: Itachi! He killed my clan. I must slay him and avenge my clan!

Slushy: …ok um I REALLY don't want to do this but…. Itachi will you please join us?

Not that you have to!

Sasuke: What? He coming? I am so not ready for-

Itachi: scared Sasuke?

Slushy: this is going to end badly isn't it?

Sasuke: (gulp) no I'm not scared.

Itachi: …right.

Slushy: why didn't I become a lawyer?

Sasuke: bring it Itachi!!

Slushy: oh god no!

Itachi: nah

Slushy: nooooo…wait…what?

Sasuke: what?

Itachi: I said no!

Slushy: sweet

Sasuke: why?

Itachi: I just want her to solve my problem!

Sasuke: what about my problem?

Slushy: just say sorry Itachi!

Itachi: fine…I'm sorry…Sasuke

Slushy: See that wasn't too hard was it?

Sasuke and Itachi: No

Slushy: great! Now next is Shikamaru-

Itachi: what about me?

Slushy: come back later I have a schedule!

Itachi: fine!

Slushy: anyway Shikamaru what is the problem?

Shikamaru: everything and everyone is a drag.

Slushy: um I knew you were going to say that.

Shikamaru: so ca you help me or not?

Me: no one can help you but may I recommend Dr. Phil?

Shikamaru: that show is such a drag.

Slushy: ya um…bye

Shikamaru: whatever

Slushy: our next troubled person is Lee!

Lee: my problem is these!! (Points to insanely large eyebrows.)

Slushy; I didn't even ask Lee

Lee: so?

Slushy: (sigh) well why are they a problem for you?

Lee: have you seen them?!

Slushy: ya…so shave them.

Lee: but they're…not mine.

Slushy: what!!

Lee: ya they're Garra's

Slushy: …again what?

Lee: I stole them

Slushy: so give them back!

Lee: I don't want to

Slushy: weirdo….so next is-

Lee: no I have another problem!!

Slushy: I never could have guessed, what is it?

Lee: Sakura: she thinks I'm a joke.

Slushy: no?

Lee: yes!

Slushy: get rid of them!

Lee: that is not even an option they belong to me now!

Slushy: ok ok I get it

Lee: so what do I do?

Slushy: get ri-

Lee: no!

Slushy: fine I don't think I can help you then, well I could get Garra-

Lee: hell No!!!!! He'll kill me!

Slushy: …our next person up is Ino!

Lee: but what about me!?

Ino: who cares? Sakura will never love you. Naruto has a better chance!

Lee: that hurts!

Slushy: the truth hurts Lee get on with you life! So Ion what seems to be the problem?

Slushy: Sakura!!

Slushy: you too!!! And why?

Ino: because she's prettier, smarter, stronger, and nicer than me!!

Slushy: well you could start by getting a make over then a brain and after that-

Ino: ok that's enough I'm going to cry now.

Slushy: sorry

Ino: I think….I should go!

Slushy: please don't

Ino: (sob) I am beautiful!!

She runs out of the room

Slushy: there goes my raise…ANYWAY! Next are Neji and Hinata! Well what is your guy's problem? (Man that gets old!)

Neji: Hinata.

Hinata: what!

Slushy: why is she you problem?

Neji: it's her fault that I'm not the head of the Hyuga clan!

Hinata: oh get over it Neji!!

Slushy: yes I agree Neji!

Neji: …

Slushy: so any other problems Neji?

Neji: no

Hinata: Neji!!

Neji: fine just one more!!

Slushy: and it is….?

Neji: Kiba always calls me…um…a

Hinata: oh just say it Neji!!

Neji: he always calls me a girl!!

Slushy: lol

Neji: Hey!

Slushy: sorry, Kiba will you please join us?

Kiba: hey girly!!

Neji: go to hell!

Slushy: come on guys get along! So why do you call Neji a girl Kiba?

Kiba: have you seen him? He looks like a girl right Akamaru?

Akamaru: woof! Woof! Translation: (Totally!)

Neji: I do not!!

Akamaru: woof!! Like hell you don't!!

Neji: Blah, Blah, Blah I can't hear you!!!

Akamaru: Woof! You're such a slut

Neji: what?

Akamaru: Woof! But I like your cut!

Neji: really!

Akamaru: woof! You're such a slut!

Neji: you still think I'm a slut?

Akamaru: Woof! Ya

Kiba: Neji you're talking to a dog!! That's my thing!

Hinata: Can't you two just get along?

Slushy: hey that's my line!!! Anyway Kiba STOP-calling Neji a girl even though he may look like one.

Neji: hey!

Kiba: fine, Neji but tell him to stop talking to Akamaru is…. weird.

Slushy: (sigh) fine, Neji stop talking to the damn dog!

Neji: fin but only if-

Slushy: ok Neji he'll stop! You two may leave

They exit
Slushy: now Hinata what's you problem?
Hinata: well I can't seem to talk to Naruto
Slushy: why? Naruto is geek? (No he's not he's a cutey)

Hinata: I like him

Slushy: …oh…sorry

Hinata: what should I do?

Lee: I need help too!!

Slushy: get rid of the dam eyebrows lee!!!

Lee: never!!!

Slushy: looks just tell Garra he'll understand!

Lee: really?

Slushy: I hope so cause if not you so dead!!! Now leave before I call security!

Lee: great.

Lee leaves. Ha it rhymes!!

Hinata: what the Hell can I do?

Slushy: Ok ok just calm down Hinata. I'll just Ask Naruto to join us and we'll get this all straitened out!

Hinata: oh god no!

Slushy; will you please join us Naruto?

Naruto: hey guys how are you?

Hinata: I-I…Naru..to?

Slushy: Hinata are you ok you look a little…..(Hinata faints) man she really did have a problem!

Naruto; is she ok?

Slushy: not likely

Naruto: …

Slushy: Anyway while your here tell me you problem.

Naruto: well…Kisames' my problem!!

Slushy: what the hell did he do to you?

Naruto: he keeps eating my damn Ramen!!

Slushy: have you told him to stop?

Naruto: no

Slushy: problem solved Man what dose Hinata see in you?

Naruto: wow you really do solve things thanks!!

Slushy: …anyways! Next up is Shino!! Shino what-

Shino: That Damned Kankuro keeps fucking with my bugs!!!

Slushy: What do you mean "fucking" with them?

Shino: he uses pest control and sprays it in us!!!

Slushy: us? Well get back at him!!

Shino: how?

Slushy: he seems to like puppets so but a fake one and replace it with the real one!!!

Shino: I don't know that puppet scares me…

Slushy: so? You want him to stop spraying you with pest control right?

Shino: yes

Slushy: well go for it!!

Shino: thanks!

Slushy: yup! Next up is Garra!! Ok know what….wait Garra!!! Garra walks into room

Slushy: (oh no) um so Garra what seems to be the problem?

Garra: Lee has my damn eyebrows and he won't give them back!!

Slushy: really?

Garaa: really what?

Slushy: that's it?

Garra" what do you mean that's it?

Slushy: I thought that you'd deal with you own problems but you eyebrows?

Garra: now I have a new problem!!

Slushy: what?

Garra: you!!

Slushy: shit

Garra moves towards her

Slushy: security!!

Camera dude: there on lunch break they'll be back in an hour!

Slushy: Mental note don't give Security lunch breaks!!!

…………………………..

Ok I'll stop there I'm sick of typing!!! Part 2 will be coming soon!!!

I hope that you review!!! And I didn't mean too make fun of any of them to much but I really don't think that way about them so don't hate me!!

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