This is a total crack crossover fic that I found hanging out on my hard drive. I figured now was a fine time to upload it.

Dueling Dragons

Kaiba's last Blue Eyes still dominated the field, but Joey had his winning strategy in his hand. For so long, Joey had dreamed of this moment, of the moment when Kaiba would be forced to acknowledge him as a duelist. He grinned and threw down his card. "Baby Dragon in attack mode!"

*poof*

A momentarily confused Orange Shoyru appeared, looked around, and glared at Joey. "Okay, I was just about to be blessed by Coltzan's Shrine, so I hope you have a very good reason for why I am NO LONGER IN NEOPIA!"

Somewhat flustered as Kaiba's wicked smirk mocked him, Joey retorted, "You're not Baby Dragon. Get outta here, I'm dueling."

Grumbling, Shoyru hopped off the dueling platform to stand next to Joey, grumpily munching on a piece of omelette.

Joey plastered his confident smile back on. "Baby Dragon, come on!"

*poof*

Agumon appeared as though he had been just walking through a forest, calling, "Tai? Where are you?" After taking in the holographic field and the intimidating Blue Eyes facing him, however, he quietly stammered, "Wh-where am I?" This time Kaiba threw back his head and cackled, leaving Joey mortified with two small orange creatures who were definitely not the right baby dragon.

The very disgruntled Shoyru shouted to Agumon, "This idiot here is screwing up his summons; we'll have to wait until the end of his battle to leave."

Agumon gasped, "But Tai –"

"– will be fine till you return. I, however, will have to wait another hour till I can ask for a blessing again! I need to level up, ya hear?"

"Ohhhh Tai…" Agumon, looking very upset indeed, crawled off the field and curled up at Shoyru's feet. Shoyru looked disgusted.

Kaiba took the opportunity to snark at Joey from across the field. "Well, Wheeler, can you play your stupid card so I can beat it and go? I have a company to run, actual rivals to crush, a brother to take to his therapy appointment…all those kidnappings…" Kaiba sighed, looking at a trembling, clearly paranoid Mokuba.

Joey tried to stay calm as he replied, "Shut up, moneybags, it's coming! BABY DRAGON!"

*poof*

A red glow of energy morphed into the shape of a Dragonite on Joey's square. Joey smacked his forehead while Kaiba laughed uproariously.

"You think that can defeat my Blue Eyes, dumb mutt?"

Joey looked at Dragonite, who leveled a calm stare back at him.

"Actually, yeah. This should do. HYPERBEAM!"

Joey enjoyed the look of horror on Kaiba's face as his Blue Eyes was reduced to holographic dust. He pumped a fist into the air and shrieked, "How do you like them energy blasts, you rich asshole?"

Kaiba quickly regained his composure and said, "Well, you cheated. That's no baby dragon. It's a tertiary evolved form of a baby dragon. I win anyway." He smirked and grabbed Mokuba, climbing into the KC chopper and deaf to Joey's protests about whose life points hit zero and how Joey Wheeler was no cheater and who was it who routinely screwed the rules. Now freed from the confines of battle, Shoyru kicked Joey in the shins and disappeared; Agumon, still depressed, faded away; and Dragonite returned from whence it came in a haze of blue light. Joey sighed, eyed his Baby Dragon card distrustfully, set it on fire and set off to find the nearest bar.