Severus Snape held the golden locket tightly, and closed his eyes. With trembling fingers, he opened the envelope he held with his other hand and read the letter inside.

Dear Severus Snape,

I know I am the last person you want to listen to right now but hear me out. I am not going to ask for your forgiveness, because after everything I have done to you, I do not deserve it. But there is something that I must tell you. Lily Evans loved you. She may have loved me as well, but it was you, and you alone that she held closest to her heart. She saw me as a brother, but never as a soulmate.

One glistening tear slid down Severus' cheek and fell off his chin. Lily had loved him, as he had loved her. Reluctantly, he continued reading.

There is something you must know. When Lily became pregnant, she told me a secret, something I must never tell anyone. That I was not the father to her child. You are.

Severus sharply inhaled. Him? He was Harry Potter's father? It couldn't be. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to make sense of any of this. But the letter still went on.

Lily did not want anyone to know, but she told me. We kept it a secret, and when there was news that You-Know-Who was after her, she was determined to make sure you were in no danger for giving her this child. She told everyone it was me who was the father, and so there were no doubts, we married. I felt it important that you were to know this, because of the recent events. I know how much of a strong person you are and I know you can pull through this.

Sincerely,

James Potter

Recent events? Severus clenched his teeth in frustration. If by recent events, he meant the murder of his first and only love, Lily Evans-Potter. The irritating little imbecile considered it to be recent events!? Severus had the urge to crumple up the piece of paper and throw it into the fire place. But it held too much important information, and it could possibly be useful in the future. He slowly stood and placed the letter in a drawer and, for good measure, charmed it so only he could open it.

Taking deep breaths, he paced his room, hoping to make sense of anything. Severus looked down at the golden locket he still clutched in his hands, the last thing that Lily had given him, and he couldn't take it anymore. He collapsed onto the floor in a flurry of sobs and tears. As he tried to regain his posture and calm himself, his eyes darted to his forearm. A disgusted look came onto his face as he saw the Mark on his arm. He wished he could scrub it off, get rid of it. He had already tried many, many spells and charms to get rid of it, but the Dark Lord obviously wanted his followers to be permanent. Severus put his head in his hands and tried to stifle a new wave sobs that was threatening. How he missed Lily, her warmth, kindness. God, how he missed her. And it was all that weasel, Peter Pettigrew's fault. The anger he felt towards that man was enough to strangle a person. Severus took one last, deep breath to help dull his emotions. He slowly went to sit down at his desk and took out a new piece of parchment and his quill to reply to Potter.

Potter,

I am quite shocked at this revelation, and would like to visit you to see my son. I will arrive tomorrow at 3 pm, and expect to be taking Harry home.

Signed,

Severus Snape

He quickly tied the message to his owl, Arran, and when the bird flew off he collapsed onto his bed. Although he would never admit it, he was quite nervous to see his newly revealed son for the first time. He rubbed his eyes wearily and fell into a restless sleep.

(Dream)

She was standing right there, he could see her, but he couldn't move. She was staring at him in disgust. He tried to tell her he was sorry, he loved her, but his lips refused to move. The cloaked figure burst into the room. He fought and struggled to move, tried to force his limbs to move, just move! But they stood still. She looked at him pleadingly now, fear shrouding her features. All he wanted to do was break free of this prison, to help her, save her. But all he could do was watch. Watch as the cloaked figure raised his wand towards her. She screamed "Not Harry, please take me!" She quickly darted over to the small child, whose face was already wet with tears. She grabbed him and passed the child to Severus. But he couldn't move his arms, and watched as the baby fell to the floor, obviously injured. She shot him a sad look, as if he had just tried to kill the child. Tears fell from her eyes now and the cloaked figure waited no more. "Avada Kedavra!" She crumpled to the floor dead.

Severus woke up, panting and covered in cold sweat. His heart was pounding, trying to break free of his ribcage. Quickly, he wiped the tears from his eyes and shakily got out of bed. Why? He thought. Why couldn't Potter have taken her place? He slowly got out of bed to prepare for the day ahead. He realised he still had a while until he was expected at Potters house. So he wandered down to his garden, not hungry enough for breakfast. Slowly, he walked around his grounds, thinking. They were not very large and he had gotten back to his house faster than expected, so left to do another lap. Although he had not been there the night Lily was murdered, the descriptions from Potter had given him some haunting images he still could not shake out of his mind. When he had finished another lap of the grounds, he sat down on the garden steps. Suddenly, Arran flew into sight with another letter tied to his ankle. Expecting it to be something from Potter, he was quite surprised to see Albus Dumbledore's writing on the envelope. Severus gave a wry smile. The old man has been very busy after the downfall of the Dark Lord. He ripped open the letter and read. Severus glowered at the letter. Dumbledore was having trouble finding a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher and was wondering if he knew anyone who would be willing to take the spot. The man was torturing him, knowing he had always wanted this position, but instead of offering it to him, continued to look for others. Severus was compelled to reply in an extremely rude manner but thought the better of it and politely wrote back, that he knew of no such person. After tying it to Arran's leg, he headed inside and got ready to see his son for the first time.


Severus apparated in Godric's Hollow and walked past all the small cottages, until he stopped outside Potter's house. Apparently, he had become 'attached' to the small village, and decided, instead of moving back to the Potter Manor, to stay here. Severus did not understand Potter's 'attachment' to this place. He, for one, felt worse here, closer to where Lily died. He regretted replying to Potter and requesting to visit. The thought of walking into where she died made him sick, and all he wanted to do was turn around and leave. But it had been him that asked to come here, and he would look like a fool if he fled. So, he brushed imaginary lint off his clothes, straightened out and knocked on the door. A few second later, Potter answered. Severus forgot how much he despised the man's appearance. He looked as though he had not even tried to look neat, and he probably didn't. His glasses where askew, his hair looked as if he had been electrified and his clothes looked as if he had never seen muggle clothing before. Severus nodded curtly at him and received another nod in return. Potter stepped aside to allow him in, and followed behind as he walked further into the house. He gasped sharply at what he saw. All the furniture was Lily's. The dining table, the chairs, the sofa, the rug, all hers. He could feel tears sting the back of his eyes and blinked them away.

"Harry's room is two doors down, on your left." Potter spoke quietly and carefully, as if speaking too loud would break Severus.

"Thank you." He barely spoke above a whisper, and then headed swiftly down the corridor, towards Harry's room. Thoughts swirled around in his head, and got muddled and mixed up. Did he look like Lily? Or him? Even though he knew hope was a dangerous thing, he was hoping with all his might that he had Lily's eyes. The sparkling emerald that shone in her eyes was something he would grieve if he never got to see it again. Hesitantly and with shaking hands, he reached down to open the door, slowly, and with a click, he stepped inside.

The walls were decorated with those muggle glow-in-the-dark stars, though they could be enchanted he thought to himself. The room was mainly bare, apart from the small cabinet in the corner, and a cot against the back wall. Slowly and cautiously, Severus paced towards the cot, terrified of what he would see. He leaned over the cot to finally see his son. He was shocked at the small face that smiled back at him. Harry's hair was black, the same shade as Severus'. His skin was pale, but in a healthy looking way. And his eyes. His eyes were a beautiful, shimmering emerald green. Severus couldn't help it. A small tear formed in his eye and fell down his cheek. The child smiled, a big grin at him. Carefully, trying not to hurt the baby, Severus picked him up, and held him in his arms. He smiled. He had his own child, this beautiful thing he held in front of him was his, and he loved him. Slowly, he placed Harry back down in the cot and thought. It was amazing, a miracle, that he had a child of his own, but was he ready to look after one? It had only been a week since Lily had died, and he was still gathering himself. Thinking it over, he paced the room, for a good five minutes, until a soft knock on the door broke him from his thoughts. "Come in." Potter slowly opened the door.

"I hope I haven't disturbed anything." James had been worried about Harry. Even though he wasn't his child, he still loved Harry a lot.

"No not at all." Severus tried hard to keep the sneer out of his voice. He hadn't yet forgiven Potter for what he had done, and he wasn't sure he ever would, but he was trying not to seem indecent. "I have decided, even though in my letter, I asked to take Harry home, I am not quite ready to do so, yet."

James was shocked. He had expected Snape to take his child home immediately, and did not know what to say. Severus used all his strength not to let a laugh escape his lips, for the expression on Potter's face was incredibly comical. James quickly recovered. "Oh, okay then, but anytime, Harry will always be here if you decide to." Severus curtly nodded his head and strode out of the room. James swiftly followed behind.

"Goodbye Severus."

Snape turned around, a look of slight surprise on his face. "You called me Severus."

James gave him a soft smile. "I do not expect you to forgive me immediately, I would be quite shocked if you did, but I am trying to fix the mistakes I have made in the past. I hope we can eventually be friends."

Severus returned his own smile, and although it was small, James knew that the man appreciated him trying to redeem himself, and after sometime, they would become closer.


The next day, Severus needed to go out to clear his head. Deciding he didn't want to run into unwanted company, he went to Hogs Head, the smallest, dirtiest pub in Hogsmeade. He ordered some Fire Whiskey, and sat down to drown in his thoughts. How could he take care of a child when he was barely taking care of himself? He was still grieving Lily. Severus felt he didn't deserve Harry. He had, after all, been the one who had been the one who delivered the prophecy to the Dark Lord. It was his fault that the poor child had no mother. It was his fault he would have to live without the love of his life. Suddenly, and unexpectedly, a voice pulled him from his thoughts. "I thought I would see you here." Severus looked up and was shocked to see that Remus Lupin was standing over him, his amber eyes glinting in the torch lit pub. He had come here specifically to stay away from anyone he knew, yet here someone was, waiting for a reply.

"What on earth are you doing here, Lupin?"

Uninvited, he sat down, across from Severus. "James told me about Harry."

Severus was quite taken aback. But, thinking clearer, of course Potter had told his band of followers. A sickening thought came to mind. "Does Black know about this?"

To his relief, Lupin shook his head. "James doesn't think it a good idea tell Sirius, yet." He ran a hand through his hair. "Severus, I want you to know that I will support you however you need me too. I know you loved Lily," Severus felt a pang of sadness in his heart. "And I did too, to some degree. She was very loving to all people, and it is great loss to the wizarding word. I am very happy for you to be Harry's father, and I think you will make a wonderful father."

Lupin's words stunned Severus. He knew at least he was the kindest of his school bullies, if it were such a thing, but he hadn't expected any of this. He was slightly touched by his words, but memories of dreaded lunch hours because of this man's friend, flooded back to him. His thoughts obviously showed on his face, and Lupins gave him a quizzical look. Severus dismissed Lupin's unspoken question and said, "I appreciate your kind words, but if that is all you came to say, I do not understand why it could not have been on a letter." He stood up to leave, but Remus placed a hand on top of his, to stop it.

"Listen, Severus, I need to tell you something important. What if news gets out that Harry is your child, not James'? I am afraid of how people will react. And what about when Harry has to go to school, eh? Where will you send him? The world will want to know where The Boy Who Lived is going to school. My point is, sooner or later, people are going to find out, and I just hope that it is done in the right way." Severus hadn't really thought about Harry's life that much.

"Lupin, this is very important. I do not want this news to escape anytime soon, and I am trusting you and Potter to keep this between us. If anything slips, you will wish you didn't know at all. Do you understand?" Severus snarled as his face turned to stone.

Remus surprised at Severus' sudden anger. He nodded quickly, and watched as the dark clothed man strode out of the pub, quite like a bat, as he was so regularly compared to. Shortly after, Remus stood up to leave, and placed a small tip in the rusty mug on the counter and swiftly left.

*J K Rowling owns all of this, I just use fanfiction to cope with not going to Hogwarts*

A/N This is my first published fanfic ( I have many unpublished ). Its not beta'd, so i'd love it if you could tell me any grammar, spelling mistakes. I've almost finished it, and will be updating (hopefully) frequently. Review and enjoy!

~thebraveslytherin aka Lis