Asylum of the Cybermen
Captain Jack walks into the Torchwood hub, coffee in hand, his coat being dragged along the floor wearily.
JACK:
Honey, I'm home!
No one responds.
JACK:
Damn, I hope I didn't miss the rapture.
Tosh walks down from his office
TOSH:
Oh, it's you. Morning Captain. I was beginning to think everyone was on holiday.
JACK:
I've been out since six this morning dealing with a few random aliens popping through the rift. I thought everyone would be here already.
TOSH:
Apparently not. Maybe their was a mass exodus, but only with Welsh people.
JACK:
Nah. They would have taken the sheep with him. I passed a farm on the way back, so that theory is busted.
Jack groans and collapses onto the futon near the back wall.
JACK:
Does this mean there's none of Ianto's lovely coffee brewed? This coffee from across the street tastes like crap compared to Ianto's special brew.
Jack downs the rest of the coffee in one gulp and tosses the empty cup onto the floor.
TOSH:
That's littering.
JACK:
Too bad Torchwood is not under the jurisdiction of that wanker currently in Downing Street.
Jack coughs "Cameron" jokingly.
JACK:
I'm gonna take a shower. Call the rest of the team and see if they forgot to invite us to their kegger orgy.
Jack walks down into the Hub to find the army style showers. Tosh calls up Gwen.
TOSH:
Gwen, where are you? Are you sick?
GWEN:
I've got the flu. Rhys has even taken the day off to try and cure me. Oh dear, he's burning the soup. Call you later, Tosh.
The dial tone taunts Tosh. She calls Ianto next.
TOSH:
Ianto? Are you sick? No one showed up today.
IANTO:
I, uh, I'm in the hospital.
TOSH:
WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED!?
IANTO:
I..slipped in the shower last night and broke my arse.
TOSH:
So..you won't be coming into work today then?
IANTO:
No. Give Jack my regards.
Click. Tosh grumbles and calls Owen. After the 6th ring, he picks up.
OWEN:
What the hell do you want Toshiko? It's only 10:30! And it's Saturday for Pete's sake.
TOSH:
Actually, it's 9:30, it's Friday, and you're late.
Owen goes silent for a minute and Tosh here's a faint string of curse words echo through Owen's apartment.
OWEN:
I'm calling in sick today, Tosh. Those aliens can take a day off as well!
Disconnected. Jack walks down the stairs with a fresh shave and new clothes on.
JACK:
Well?
TOSH:
They didn't invite us to their orgy.
Jack looked crestfallen for a few moments before he realized she was joking.
TOSH:
Gwen's caught the flu, Ianto broke his posterior, and Owen is hungover.
JACK:
Well, at least I didn't miss the rapture in this universe again.
A computer on Toshiko's desk begins to beep. A robotic voice begins to slowly stutter to life in the Hub.
COMPUTER:
ALIEN LIFEFORMS DETECTED. 93.4% MATCH FOR MONDASIAN LIFE FORMS. RIFT ACTIVITY STABLE.
TOSH:
Mondasian? What species is that?
The goofy grin on Jack's face from a few minutes ago is no longer present. He seems to have replaced it with a steely look in his eyes.
JACK:
Come with me.
Tosh follows him down into the Hub, past the glass cells into the armory.
JACK:
Take all of the larger weapons. You can keep your side pistol, but we're loading up the big guns.
Jack opens up the garage that is connected to the armory and opens the back of the Torchwood jeep. The armored car is capable of reaching up to 250 MPH, and could withstand explosions, various bullets, and even had an air filtration system in case of poisons.
Jack starts piling in the guns specifically for destroying large aliens into the trunk.
They drive to an old mine shaft on the edge of Wales.
UNIT soldiers and large armored trucks surround the mine. Jack and Tosh flash their badges and go through the CAUTION tape into the mine.
A man standing in the center of the red beret wearing soldiers is giving orders. He sees Jack enter and walks over.
COLONEL HARPER:
Captain Jack. Torchwood was called in only because of you're...ability.
JACK:
I'm not a soldier. I don't take orders from anyone, except for one man, who-
Jack mockingly looks around the dusty mine filled with bright lights brought in to penetrate the darkness.
JACK:
-is not here right now. No sign of the Doctor.
HARPER:
No, unfortunately. We even scoured the Black Archive for a way to contact him, but the Brigadier's messaging system is broken. Which is why we need you. We know what is in there.
TOSH:
Colonel, what's down there? Why are you so frightened?
JACK:
Cybermen. You've heard the tales. Like the one Ianto hid in the hub. Only, we have no idea how many are in there. And UNIT, being the big scary organization that they are, have called us in to clean up their mess.
HARPER:
It's not our mess. This morning we received a distress call originating from an alien source. Then we called you once we realized what it was. We want you to go in and..deal with it.
JACK:
Ha, ok. But, seeing as you're distracting us from our other duties, you're going to compensate us.
HARPER:
A small section of UNIT has been dispatched to deal with rift occurrences until this mess is cleaned up.
The colonel barks for a tall woman dressed like a lawyer to come over.
CINDY:
What is it Colonel? I'm very busy-
HARPER:
Please write out a few cheques for Captain Jack and his assistant.
The woman sighs but takes out a chequebook. She hands Jack and Tosh their cheques.
CINDY:
Will that be enough compensation?
Tosh stares at the 6 figure number written in elegant black ink written out to Toshiko Sato. She pockets the cheque.
TOSH:
This will do just fine.
HARPER:
Now that we're done with this BS, Captain, we'd like to begin now. You and a small task force will go down into the main mine and see what you can find.
JACK:
And weapons?
HARPER:
You will be given standard issue military machine guns and side arms.
Jack laughs.
JACK:
Harper, if you know what's down there, then you know that won't work. We've brought our own weapons. Actual weapons to do the job.
In front of the mine shaft, Jack, Tosh, and Colonel Harper stare at a small group of soldiers. Five stoney faced red berets stare back.
HARPER:
You men were chosen because of your specific abilities. You will aid Captain Harkness and his assistant Toshiko in destroying the threat below. From this point out, Captain Jack is now your superior until you destroy the monsters below. Do what he says, and don't make a mockery of yourselves. No fooling around. Is that clear?
RED BERETS:
SIR YES SIR.
The men prepare to go down into the mine. They attach harnesses and ropes to the old mine cart tracks, anchoring them.
The stoney faced men motion for Jack and Tosh to get into the harnesses.
JACK:
It's not too late to back out Tosh. This is gonna be dangerous.
TOSH:
I had a cousin who died at the battle of Canary Wharf. All they found was half of his body and parts of his head. He was half converted before the Cybermen were sucked into a black hole or something. I think it's time to show those metal bastards who's boss.
JACK:
I'm sorry Tosh. I never knew about that. Canary Wharf was a huge clusterfuck because of Torchwood London. There's a reason why we don't communicate with other Torchwood groups.
The begin to descend into the mine. The soldiers first, then Jack and Tosh. They land in a dark cavern. Jack hands Tosh a flash light. The room is illuminated suddenly by the UNIT standard issue torches. A door comes into view. It's covered in thick dust.
JACK:
Pass the weapons forward. It's not easy to take a Cybermen out. These weapons are not from Earth, and they apparently never run out of ammunition. So don't be afraid to shoot. I don't know how many there are in there. Could be 5 or 500.
A soldier steps forward.
PATRICK:
I can open that door, Captain. Blowing shit up is my specialty.
JACK:
I'd rather not. It looks pretty thin and we can get away with lasers. Hand me that silver laser pistol.
Patrick, although a bit sad, complies. Jack slowly burns through the door, and pushes most of the old metal into the other side.
JACK:
Here we go. No turning back now.
It's a dark corridor. It seems to be quiet.
TOSH:
Jack, I think that's a light switch.
She flicks the button and the corridor is slowly light with dim lights. They're suddenly surrounded by Cybermen.
The soldiers spring into action.
JACK:
STANDARD FORMATION, POSITION 5!
The soldiers go back to back with each other, pointing their guns at the Cybermen. Tosh and Jack follow suit. The last light fizzles on and they finally see the whole corridor.
The Cybermen are in cages, like chickens. Some look like skeletons with accordions on their chests, and others have large square heads with tin foil body suits.
JACK:
At ease, men.
The men relax their positions. The Cybermen simply stare at them. Some are standing in the middle of their cells, and some are sitting down. A few are laying down on the floor.
TOSH:
I think they're dead.
JON:
No, they're comatose. Look at them. If they were dead, we'd know. Besides, who sent the distress signal then?
JACK:
I agree soldier. Let's keep going. They can't harm us. There is another door at the end of this corridor.
The door is not locked like the last one. But there's no light switch in this room.
JACK:
Torches on.
The torches flood the room with yellow light. More Cybermen, but not in cages. They're just standing around, silently.
JACK:
BACK IN POSITION!
They all go back to back again. But the Cybermen don't move. The room smells musty and is covered in mold.
PATRICK:
I think these ones are asleep too.
JACK:
Ok. I think we're in the clear for now.
Cybermen:
Y...y..you will be...converted.
The voice rings out from the middle of the crowd. It's dusty and slow, as if he hasn't talked in 100 years. He slowly walks forward, even though the group has their weapons raised.
He's one of the early versions, still with human parts and the "accordion" on his abdomen. Thick, black sludge flows through the accordion tubes into his chest and head. His suit that covers his whole body is ripped open and covered in dirt. Bits of rotted flesh are visible under the damaged suit. He reaches his hand out toward them.
Patrick shoots him several times, and he falls down. Dead.
JACK:
We need to go forward. There must be computers in here somewhere that sent the signal. Keep an eye out for tricksters.
They move forward, slowly, through the crowd. The Cybermen don't move toward them, they just swivel their heads and stare at the intruders.
As the group walks forward, they stare back at the Cybermen. Some are sitting down. Some are standing silently. A few are swaying back and forth.
A set of large double doors blocks their path. A dusty screen is in the wall next to the doors.
Tosh presses a few buttons on it. It slowly springs to life, and green text fills up the screen. It's an ancient computer, one from the 1970's. The code is jumbled and alien.
TOSH:
This is beyond me Jack. Even something as ancient as this is obviously alien in origin. It must be the Cybermen's.
JACK:
Do we need it to open the doors?
TOSH:
I don't think so. But you can't bust through those doors with a laser gun, those are 6 inches thick.
OFFICER JON:
I can help you with that. Back up.
Jon takes out two machine guns out of his bag. He aims them at the doors. He peppers the doors for a good 2 minutes straight, finally the doors are swiss cheese. They push through the doors easily. The room is filled with giant computer terminals and cyber parts.
Robotic arms, legs, various liquids, and other mechanical parts litter the moldy floor. A table sits in front of one of the giant computers. Two Cybermen, both missing their suits, sit the table. They still have their heads on. Large, square, grotesque and blank.
An old chess board is between the two Cybermen sitting at the table, as if they were once old friends playing a nice game of chess after tea. The chess items haven't been moved in a while. They're all in perfect, except for the king. The white king is tipped over, he conceded long ago.
TOSH:
This is where it came from. My hand-held is getting the same signal.
She shows Jack her mini computer.
JACK:
I think you're right. Is anyone alive in here?
TOSH:
I highly doubt it.
One of the Cybermen slowly turns his head towards Jack. He makes no move to stand up. His flesh squishes and falls off of him in pieces.
CYBERMAN:
IDENTIFY YOURSELF. SPECIES AND PLANET OF ORIGIN.
JACK:
Uh..I'm a human from Earth. See, we're Urban Explorers. We happened upon your..hideout.
CYBERMAN:
YOU LIE. YOU BRING WEAPONS TO HARM US.
JACK:
Ok, the jig is hip. I'm Captain Jack Harkness, and you can't be on this planet. Why did you send a distress signal?
CYBERMAN:
The signal was for...other..Cybermen. We have waited..long.
The cyberman is having trouble talking. He's dying.
CYBERMAN:
The mother ship never returned. You will be...upgraded.
JACK:
No. No one is getting upgraded. I'm giving you one chance. Get back into your ship, which seems to be under this mine. Get off this planet. You're violating several laws of the Shadow Proclamation.
Cybermen:
You..will be-
The cyberman slowly falls forward onto the chess board, His head disturbs the chess pieces, and they fall over. His head rests on its side at an odd angle. It never speaks again.
JACK:
We need to find the computer that is sending the signal and stop it. Other aliens might here it and investigate.
The soldiers pan out and begin to search for active computers. One soldier calls out.
GILES:
I think I've found something!
Jack and Tosh walk over with the rest of the soldiers. He wipes the dust off the small monitor, and lines of code zoom up the screen.
PATRICK:
How do we stop it?
JACK:
Tosh? Got any ideas?
TOSH:
Unfortunately this isn't Windows 7. I can't just click the shutdown button.
PATRICK:
We could blow it up!
JON:
Hey, dumbass, we're not gonna blow anything up.
JACK:
No, I think that might work.
TOSH:
That's a bad idea. That might trigger alarms and could signal more Cybermen.
JACK:
Damn.
PATRICK:
Damn.
Patrick presses a few buttons on the console. Alarms start to blare.
JACK:
WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?
PATRICK:
N-NOTHING I SWEAR! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
Doors begin to open alongside the walls. Cybermen begin to fill the room.
JACK:
Shit.
TOSH:
It's ok. We'll be fine. We've got guns.
JACK:
OPEN FIRE!
They all begin to shoot the Cybermen that are slowly walking towards them. Some go down. But most keep walking forward.
VARIOUS Cybermen:
DELETE! DELETE! UPGRADES IMENENT.
JACK:
IT'S NOT WORKING!
PATRICK:
THEY'RE GONNA UPGRADE US!
TOSH:
SHUT UP! KEEP SHOOTING!
Cybermen:
YOU WILL BE UPGRADED. HUMAN 2.1 IS COMING.
The Cybermen swamp the small group. The guns aren't working against them. Patrick is pushed over and ripped apart.
PATRICK:
NO, STOP! CAPTAIN! HELP ME! CAPTAIN!
Patrick dies.
JON:
YOU FUCKERS!
Jon takes out a few sticks of dynamite. He quickly lights them and throws them into the crowd. A small explosion knocks out a few of them. Jack is pulled into the sea of metal and is ripped apart and electrocuted.
CYBERLEADER:
BRING THE SUITS. THE HUMAN FLESH IS SPONGY AND BRUISED, BUT THE SPIRIT IS WILLING. THE BRAIN SHALL BE PLACED IN A CYBERSUIT.
Several Cybermen begin to scoop up Patrick's brain and try to put it into the suit. It's one of the old ones, with the square head and tin foil suit. But they failed to keep him alive. Patrick is dead.
CYBERLEADER:
WE HAVE FAILED ONCE. GO TO THE NEXT HUMAN.
They pick up Jack's head and try to place it in the suit. Jack comes back to life and screams. Then everything went black.
[Asylum]
Jack screams with a start as he comes back to life. His body has finally regrown. He's stuck inside the suit. Jack panics and claws his way out. The body suit tears off and the head is thrown into the corner.
He's naked and covered in blood. He stared at the ground. Dead Cybermen. Dead soldiers. Dead Toshiko. All dead. If he was alive 10 minutes ago, he would have saw Toshiko, Jon, Giles, and several other soldiers light dynamite at the same time and take out the Cybermen in one epic explosion.
The ground is littered with guts, blood, and broken guns. He staggers up off the ground that is now a grave. Jack stares at Toshiko's broken body. At least she wasn't converted.
He stumbles back into the corridor, where the Cybermen are still in their cells. One Cyberman has broken out. He stands in the middle and stares at the strange creature standing in front of him. Naked.
JACK:
I've got no guns, no crew, no clothes, and I can't die. Do your worst, you metal asshole.
CYBERMAN:
I..I want to go home.
JACK:
You want to go back to Mondas?
CYBERMAN:
No..I'm..I'm from Wales. Please. Help me.
JACK:
You must have only been half converted. You poor bastard.
CYBERMAN:
Please. I want my mum. I want to see my dad.
JACK:
What's your name?
CYBERMAN:
My..my name? I can't remember. I..I think it might be Tom.
JACK:
I'm sorry Tom. There's nothing I can do for you.
CYBERMAN:
I...I was upgraded.
Tom slowly walks back into his cell. He lays down onto the dirty floor and doesn't move again.
Many UNIT soldiers retell the story at Christmas parties. How a naked Jack Harkness crawled out of a mine covered in blood. How they blew up the mine after and buried in tons of rubble.
How Captain Jack Harkness was never the same after that day.
