Disclaimer: twilight is not mine, its Stephenie Meyer's; it's as simple as that.
Preface – The End
Last spring I was attacked by James, fire burning through my veins and my broken leg, Edward saved me. After what happened last year I thought I was meant to die. I keep cheating fate due to Edward saving me all the time. Because of him saving me all the time I had no idea as to how I would die. If it would be because of old age (Edward's choice), an accident (most likely to happen cause of my clumsiness), an illness, or another vampires attack.
How things were going, I was to die as an old lady, decided by Edward. If it were up to me I would have had him change me the first time I found out all the details. Edward giving into what I wanted was something that was surely never going to happen, or it seemed that way. I would like to see the day he would finally give in and just bite me.
I want to be part of their family, as a vampire. They love me, with the exception of Rosalie, and already consider me part of their family.
We've talked about this so many times before; well it always started out as talking but turned into arguing by the end. Then he would apologize for his behavior and give me a gentle kiss on my lips causing me to stop breathing. Then he would hum my lullaby and I would drift off to sleep.
During the time he left me last fall, while I was in my zombie state, I thought of how much better it would had been if he would have just changed me like I had asked. Edward would have never left and we would have both been very happy. He left for my so called safety, I couldn't have been in more danger with him around. True what happened last fall was kind of scary, but I loved him and when he left me like that all of a sudden it crushed me.
When I think back to that painful time; I was longing to die. I didn't think I could go on another day. Charlie made it possible, I went to school, ate, and did my choirs. I didn't particularly talk to anyone, I couldn't bare to. Everything reminded me of him. When I got him back I was filled with tears of joy and worry at the same time, would he leave me again? I didn't know and I didn't want him to leave my side at all any more.
The change would be so much easier on all of us. I would be able to be around Edward without him have to resist and being careful of breaking my delicate body. We wouldn't have boundaries. I could play baseball with them on those dark stormy nights that most humans dreaded to go out in. I could spend all night in his arms talking, no more sleeping. I might actually be accepted by Rosalie instead of her hating me just for being human, and me longing to be one of them. All the possibilities seem endless to me.
All of those thoughts were rushing through my head while we talked. I wish he would get it over with and bite me. No more restraint, no more deadlines, no more accidents (including tripping over thin air and the occasional trip to the hospital) and blushing a deep shade of red that Edward loved so much. The last one i would love to not do any more, no blushing, despite the fact Edward loved it so much. As well for the accidents, all the doctors, nurse, and secretaries in the Forks hospital know my full name and all my medical records by heart.
"Bella, will you snap out of it and answer my question?" Edward's smooth voice concernedly asked me.
"Huh? Oh I'm sorry I was thinking about something," I replied not noticing that I was ignoring him. How could someone ignore someone so beautiful, so god-like.
"What were you thinking about? Please tell me, I always wonder what your thinking."
"Oh its nothing important," He couldn't even begin to understand how important it was to me. "So what was your question?"
"Bells, why do you want to be damned to an existence like mine? I mean to kill innocent animals because you lust for human blood and don't want to harm them."
"Edward, you don't understand. I love you and I want to be with you forever. Even if that means making sacrifices. No matter how big they are, I will do anything to have you forever."
This time while we were talking, something didn't seem right. It seemed so much more different than when we had those other conversations about this very touchy subject.
AN:
I'm sorry this is so short... then again its a preface... ill try my fastest to get the next chapter up.. tell me how it was...
MiniMartin
