Same Side As You: By Luna Mrow
A/N: Takes place immediately after 'Insecurity'. Spoilers. High-T, language.
~X~X~X~
She knows she screwed up. She screwed up bad. She knows that when she returns to the Cave tomorrow they're going to give her looks. She knows that Red Arrow is going to glare at her and send her unwelcoming stares, she knows Kal'dur is going to watch her with a careful eye, she knows M'gann is going to ask her about what exactly happened on their mission.
Honestly, that doesn't matter.
Not really.
It does matter, but not as much as what he'll do.
She knows he's mad at her. She's just not sure how mad. She knows that when she comes into the Cave he'll act like she's just a gust of wind. Nothing more. She knows that his green eyes won't look in her direction, and if they do, they won't have that same shining gleam. She knows that tomorrow is going to be one hell of a roller coaster.
So she doesn't show up at the cave December 7th, the day after the mission.
She waits until December 8th, giving the team a near-full two days to steam over. Maybe the decision to skip wasn't smart, maybe it was better if she let them blow their tops off at her and then let them seethe. Maybe it wasn't smart she skipped, maybe that made them view her as weak. Weak with the spotlight on her.
But to be brutally honest, which is the only kind of honest Artemis uses towards herself, she didn't give a shit.
Recognized, Artemis, B07
The training room of the cave is being used by Superboy, who's practicing sparring with Kal'dur. The two stop their sparring and turn towards her. Artemis gave the two a weak half-hearted wave. Superboy gives her a small nod in return. Kal'dur, on the other hand, gives her a small assuring smile. The smile could mean a multitude of things but it had one meaning to her; welcome back.
She slings her bow over her shoulder and walks to the hallway of the cave. Artemis suddenly felt stupid, because here she was in the Justice Cave and she was tip-toeing like she was afraid to make a sound. "I really should have manned-up and shown up yesterday," she muttered. Artemis entered the kitchen. The TV was off and she automatically assumed that the room was empty. Usually if Superboy, Robin, or Wally were in the room they'd have the TV on some program. If M'gann were in the room she'd have the CD player on.
The room was silent. The archer released a heavy sigh and set down her bow. She could use a bottle of water. She stepped into the kitchen. She froze.
He was sitting down on the kitchen counter, a half-eaten hot pocket in his hand. Green eyes connected with grey ones.
Silence.
Both of them don't know what to say, if anything should be said. But then again, they can't just sit and stand there like frozen-up ice-pops.
Artemis is the first one to move. She leans against the wall. "Hey..." she mumbled. Her eyes are off of his and she's looking at the floor.
"Hey," he said, just as empty as her. "I was just finishing up."
She can feel her throat start to glue-up. In other words, she's choking up, because she can feel the tension in the room and it's thick. She can feel the resentment he has for her and she hates it. "Where are the others?" she asked in a low voice.
"Out."
Great, he's giving her simple one-word answers. "I saw Kal'dur and Superboy."
"Yeah, it was just them and me who were here. Now you."
Should it sting that he doesn't include her name when he listed them? Now you. That's cold. That was like a slap.
But it was that little slap that makes Artemis stand up straight, makes her stare right into the speedster's eyes, and makes her say his name for the first time with force. "Wally."
And her sudden burst of control gets his attention. He stares back at her. "What?"
Now was not the time to back down. "I know I fucked up," Artemis hissed. "I fucked up royally."
He gets off the kitchen counter and takes a few steps towards her, so he's only a few inches from her and holding her hard stare. "Well," Wally replied, his voice hard. "There's nothing we can do about it now." He turned around and walked off. Artemis was left alone in the kitchen. Alone, yet again.
"You should switch sides, sweetheart. There's nothing you can do about who you are. They're not going to accept you."
"That's right sis. They're going to hate you."
She wakes up with a start and falls off the couch with a thud. The voice of her father and her sister bring her out of her slumber. She looked at the wall-clock in the living room. 9:38 P.M. "Fuck," she hissed. "That's it. I can't take it. I've reached my wit's end, I've reached my limit." Tears prick her grey eyes but she blinks them away. Now wasn't the time to cry. Now was the time to strip herself bare and let the team see her for what she was. Is.
Whatever happened, she couldn't let their voices get to her. She couldn't let her father's voice haunt her.
Artemis stood up and took off her brown mini-jacket, now leaving her in her green tank top. She walked down the hallway and took a left, going to the end of that hall and taking another left. Her hand curled into a tight fist and she pounded three hard knocks on the door in front of her. There's a pause. Then there's the sound of shuffling, and then the door opens.
Wally is on the other side. He was wearing a plain white tee and red boxer shorts. For some reason he was going to spend the night in the cave. Before he can ask her 'what do you want' or 'what are you doing here' she puts a hand on the door to hold it open. "Look, I need to talk to you. Please, Wally, the cold shoulder gets old really fast. I just need to tell you something and then I'll be on my jolly way."
His reply is to engulf her small wrist with his hand and tug her inside his room. She's surprised he even touched her, honestly, but she takes it as a hopeful good sign. Wally is a little more sympathetic in his voice when he says, "Do you even know why I'm mad at you?"
Ouch. Present tense. She's still in trouble.
Artemis leaned against his door. "Because I was selfish to try and take on Sportsmaster and Cheshire by myself, jeopardizing the team."
He's unconsciously leaning over her when he put a hand on the wall next to her to support himself. "That's not all."
"There's more?"
"Artemis. I told you. I told you that you already made your own place on the team. I thought I made it crystal clear that although Red Arrow is back, he's not replacing you. So when you try and do the 'independent hero' thing, it makes me wonder... why? Were you trying to prove that you were vital to the team to yourself... or to me? Just what exactly was your problem? I thought... I thought what I told you was assurance enough."
It's good to hear him actually talk to her. Those one-word answers stung more than she thought.
Artemis took a deep sigh. "It's a lot deeper than that."
"Do you mean deeper as in you're bottom of the barrel insecure?"
"No."
"Then what? Damn it, Artemis, I want to know! I really want to know what's wrong with you!"
And he does. She can see it in the green eyes that are staring intently at her. Now she understood. He wasn't angry at her before. He was frustrated. Wally was trying to understand , she leans her head over and rests it on his bare neck. Her head fits perfectly in the junction of where his neck meets his shoulder. He doesn't stiffen under her touch, instead he put his other arm on the wall. Now it's like he's cocooning her, and the warmth of his skin on her face feels more soothing than anything. He doesn't mind her touch. It's comforting to him, too.
All cards are on the table.
"My father is Sportsmaster," Artemis whispered against his hot skin. "And my older sister is Cheshire, her name is Jade. My mom, who just got out of prison, used to be known as Huntress."
She can hear his heartbeat. When it speeds up she knows he's surprised. However, he hasn't pushed her away from him in disgust, so that's a promising sign. "Go on," he murmured.
Artemis squeezed her eyes shut. "My mom has been in prison ever since I was little. When I was nine Jade left my family to go to the Shadows. She abandoned me. She left me with my father, who was abusive. He never hit me, but he exhausted me emotionally and physically. As a little girl he put me through tests and challenges and I hated it. I hated him. When my mom got out of prison she went straight, so I left my dad and lived with her. That was when I was thirteen. Batman and Green Arrow found me two years later and after a lot of discussion and trials, here I am."
Silence. Again.
Artemis still has her eyes shut and she's focusing on Wally's heartbeat. What is he going to say?
Minutes pass. Or seconds. She's not paying attention. She's listening to the subtle ta-thump, ta-thump, ta-thump emanating from his chest.
Finally, the silence is broken. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
Her eyes opened. Slowly, Artemis lifted her head. She had to see his eyes. He didn't say that, did he?
Green meets grey.
There's that gleam. There's the look she's been dying to see. The look Wally West is best at giving; compassion.
"The things you must have went through," he murmured. "I can't even imagine."
"You have to understand why I didn't want to tell you or the team. Everyone is not only suspecting a mole, but they're going to assume because of my background I'm backstabbing them. It's not just that, I'm not proud to come from a background of villains. They're not just villains, they're assassins. And I'm tired, Wally, I'm tired of thinking that I'm kidding myself. I'm tired of the nag in the back of my mind, the nag that tells me I'm just like my family. I'm not like them. I'm different than them. But... I'm not strong enough to stand alone. I'm not strong enough to stand alone from them."
His hands come off contact with the wall and he pulls her into a hug. "You're not alone." He takes a deep breath. She wraps her arms tightly around his torso.
They stay like that.
For seconds, minutes, who knows.
"I have one more confession," she whispered.
"Hmm?"
"The main reason I don't want to be on they're team... I wanna be on the same side as you."
He gives her a lopsided smile. "You are. You're on our side." Artemis leaned against his bedroom door once again. She feels like pressure was lifted off of her and for once she can breathe. And she does, she takes in a huge breath and releases. "And I'm sorry, too," he added. "I'm great at grudges, but I didn't like holding one against you."
She laughs for the first time in three days. "Well duh. I'm awesome." He laughs too. "Oh, one more thing, Wally."
"Yeah babe?"
"Cheshire totally made-out with Roy."
Author's Note:
Ha, okay, so this is the one-shot I came up with for post-episode 'Insecurities'. I liked the episode. I liked how Wally was all defensive. Although the ending was a little, "Nooooo D8". Oh well, Wally will hold a grudge against her, stuff will happen, and then Spitfire. Yay xD
Sorry if the characters seemed OOC. I was going for the emotional rawness Artemis feels. Her family is serious bidness, ya know?
Please review. Thanks for reading!
~Luna
