Through the Mirror Darkly

ONESHOT

Characters: Ciel Phantomhive, Sebastien Michalis

WordCount:2520

Rating: T


Ciel floats, adrift on a sea of mingled pain and weariness.

This is the final time he will look on Sebastian's face.

This is the final time his butler will serve him.

This is the end of Ciel Phantomhive, the last Earl of Phantomhive.

This is… the end of them. Whatever them has been for the time Sebastien has served him.

Towards this end, these last few months, it had been less of a master-servant relation… and more of something else. Sebastien had been less of a pawn, and more along the lines of an equal. Equal. Ciel tastes the word. Equal adversary… or ally? Now that. Hard question. Is there a viable answer?

Ciel doesn't know.

He's sitting on that ruined bench, among ruins and black roses wreathed on trellis vines flourishing all around. The darkness is a tangible, living curtain settling around him, breathing him in, and wrapping him in its comforting embrace. Sebastian is approaching him, but Ciel cannot detect any eagerness to consume his soul that the demon should be feeling.

Strange. It's been strange since he rowed him down that river of memories. Sebastian has been stranger than usual. Which isn't saying much but Ciel can feel it.

His butler's or rather ex-butler's eyes are dark crimson and solemn. He studies Ciel for a moment, his mouth widening in that little smile he keeps just for occasions that titillate him. Ciel frowns. He really should slap that arrogant look off that fool's face but he doesn't, because for one he cannot move without pain flaring brightly through his limbs and after all, Sebastien isn't his butler anymore, is he? And he probably won't take any more at Ciel's hand with any sign of servility.

"Ciel," the voice purrs. It isn't young master or even My Lord anymore. It is just Ciel, and there is a wealth of meaning and promise behind that one word.

Ciel is sure he is going to miss his retaliations. His butler had made for an enchanting punching-bag.

"Sebastien," he says, and his voice is drowsy and weak. The wounds he sustained haven't gone anywhere for this perfectly lovely rendezvous and they seem to be doing the damnable blood-loss a pretty good turn. The grass has turned sea blue and violent purple in his vision.

Which is bad, Ciel thinks. It should be red.

His butler (ex-butler, but he is too tired to make that distinction anymore) kneels in front of him, an elegant white-gloved hand going to Ciel's side. There is a moment of intense stabbing pain, and Ciel hisses. Then the pain is gone, and so are the gun-shot wounds. The fog lessens from his brain and everything is thrown into sharper relief. His loud breathing. (Sebastien doesn't breath.) And the way everything is alive around them, nature reclaiming abandoned land. The grass, the roses, the insects. All thrumming with so much life.

"Why?" he asks. Curiosity tugs at him, nothing more. Sebastien has been a loyal servant, but that was inside the contract's boundary. He is now free to do as he pleases. And Ciel is sure his well-being is no longer of any concern, to the demon now able to consume his soul at his own leisure.

Sebastien shrugs. "The taste of a soul diminishes with the pain they suffer." He smiles that wicked little smile again, the one without teeth. The one he uses on his prey.

Ciel snorts, or gets as close to a snort as it is proper of an Earl. "I expected nothing less from you." His blue eyes stare provokingly into the starkly handsome face upturned to him.

The demon tilts his head in acquiescence. "You know. I was bound to you by my contract. Any and all my loyalty stemmed from that. "

The darkness growing in his gut surprises Ciel. What Sebastien said is the truth, yet he feels like he's tasted something bitter and foul. His tongue is dry.

The other man smiles widely, teeth glinting in the moon-light. "I've been looking forward to this a long time," he says courteously, holding up a gloved hand when Ciel makes to speak. "A moment. Your soul, Ciel, is the most precious thing this world has to offer to me. Ruthless. Determined. Calculating. And yet it burns with the sadness and despair at the indignations you were made to suffer at so very young an age. A heady combination. But, above all, you are still a child, Ciel."

Ciel says nothing, watching that upturned subtly amused face with narrowed icy eyes.

"And you know what children's souls are?" Sebastien offers softly.

Ciel slowly shakes his head, remaining stubbornly mute as he glares at Sebastien, daring him to say it.

The demon's eyes glint. "Innocent."

Ciel is slightly shaken at the intensity in his eyes. He knew, of course, that Sebastien would be taking his soul at the end of his contract. What he hadn't expected was the demon to be so vocal about it. He really doesn't want to know exactly why his soul makes for a scrumptious feast. No. Not at all.

And innocent? His soul has been drenched in darkness since that day… in the underground room…

"Get on with the I'll-eat-your-soul part already," he orders, his authoritative nature surfacing to cut off the frightful memories. He doesn't want to remember anymore. He's had his revenge. Sort of. He wants nothing more than to be at rest.

It is Sebastien's turn to narrow those blood-red eyes. "Ah. But Ciel. Our contract is ended. Do you think I follow your orders anymore, as tempting as they may be?" he drawls softly, chuckling.

Ciel tosses his head. "If you don't hurry up and get on with it, I'm going to die and you won't be getting the satisfaction of eating anything," he challenges proudly, the Phantomhive pride resurfacing.

Sebastien tilts his head in acknowledgement, dark locks falling over his high marble forehead. "True." He pauses. "But my time spent with… you has made me really quite sentimental, I believe is the word. So let's have us a little conversation before your time is up." He smiles cheerfully, and starts arranging Ciel's neck-tie as if from habit. He adds, to Ciel's irritation as reason for his actions, "Old habits die hard. Master."

Ciel's palm itches. Absently he curls his hand into a fist, brushing his fingertips over his palm. All the while he is staring incredulously at the demon. Of all the damned cheek!

Even in his near dead state, he snorts, hauteur bringing back much needed color to his cheeks. "Of course," he says pointedly, folding his arms, holding back the wince of discomfort. "Your biggest dream is to have a meaningful conversation with your meal ticket before you feast. So very understandable, Sebastien. Sure you haven't lost your marbles?"

Sebastien shrugs his shoulders. "What can I say? Prolonged exposure to some of your human ideals can do that to a demon." He grins, hands coming to rest on either side of Ciel's knees.

"Oh really? And I suppose you are suddenly going to start feeling remorse too? Regret? Suffering?" Ciel throws his words at Sebastien venomously, without care. "These are the basic human emotions, Sebastien and the result of all human ideals which ultimately begin from greed. This is the human truth. This is what I am, Sebsatien. This is what you compare yourself to. Do you ever feel sorry for all the souls you've consumed?"

Sebastien raises one eye-brow at Ciel's little tirade, his eyes giving a silent rebuke. That was uncalled for. His hands catch Ciel's attention and he remembers that for whatever reason, Sebastien had healed him, taking away some of the worse pain. He lowers his head, feeling slightly ashamed. What he just said was not befitting the station of an earl of Phantomhive.

Ciel shakes his head, suddenly weary. "Fine," he says abruptly. "You want to talk? Talk, Sebastien."

That is as close to an apology as he will submit himself to.

"Much better," Sebastien says, rising up from the ground and leaning against one of the ruined pillars that abound in the deserted area. He plucks a black rose and regards it with care. Veiled red eyes rise up to glance at Ciel. "I thought you'd like to know about what will happen to Finian, Meirin and the others."

Ciel struggles up at the mention of their names. "You aren't going to eat them too, are you?" He demands with irritation. For some reason, the image of their smiling, happy faces reacting in horror while Sebastien devours them causes an unidentified pang in his gut. He doesn't want that. Not for them.

Sebastien looks amused by his reaction. "No, I am not. My contract states that you be given the exclusivity of giving up your soul for my pleasure."

Ciel slumps back, relieved though he won't admit it. His body is just tired, is all. "Oh goody," he mutters sarcastically. "And what about them, then?"

Sebastien twirls the rose, his glove protecting him from being pricked its harsh thorns.

"They will forget you. Their memories of you will be completely erased. In short, it will be as if you never existed." Sebastien's lips are widened, but something lurks behind those bloody eyes.

Ciel contemplates that bit of startling news. In some ways, it is for the best. Yet, he feels somewhat lonely that the only people he was close to in his life will never think of him again. But, he tells himself, it is the fate of all Phantomhives, to fade into the shade and total obscurity like they never were real to begin with. Their nature, to thrive in the dark. For generations, they had been the queen's watchdogs, guarding from danger. And for that, they had to stand in the very pits of hell. This situation was unavoidable the moment he looked up from those very depths and made his pact with the devil sitting on the edge.

"The same goes for anyone who knew you."

His head jerks backs. "Everyone?"

"Quite so."

He turns his head away. "That would be for the best. Not that if I suddenly went missing, anyone would expend any resources to find me again." His voice is bitter.

Sebastien's eyes are unusually gentle. There is no humor in his tone. "That is quite untrue. I didn't know you were fond of telling lies, Ciel."

He harrumphs. "I am not, you fool." He checks in surprise. The words had flown out without his consent. It is almost as if he fell into his old routine so familiarly.

But Sebastien simply smirks. "It's nice to see that spark back in you. I think it's the same reason why I was summoned to you in the first place." He raises the rose to his lips, eying Ciel over it speculatively.

"You were nothing. And you were going to die. But I could feel that darkness living within you, waves of roiling hatred directed toward your jailers. Quite frankly, Ciel, it drew me in like a moth to a flame." His words are leisurely poetic, though they are or maybe are not meant to be and Ciel flushes.

"Anything else of import you need to convey?" Ciel prompts with as much dignity as he can muster. There is no way he will tolerate Sebastien laughing at him.

Sebastien makes a soft sound.

"If there is anything you need to be done, or anything you would like to say to anyone in particular, I could carry the message for you, though I am unfortunately prevented from allowing you the honors yourself."

Ciel sighs. "Thanks for the offer, but there is really nothing I have to say to anyone or to give them. They will forget me anyway as you said. It is pointless."

"I have to disagree. Words and feelings are important, dear Ciel."

Is this really his butler?

"Though they may not remember you, this will linger in their hearts. And though they may forget you, I believe you will obtain some sort of closure," Sebastien states quietly. He looks tall and imposing in his butler's uniform which for some reason he still hasn't discarded. He looks every inch the demon he is.

Ciel stares and swallows audibly. "Tell everyone… that I… am sorry for whatever trouble I have caused them. Thank them for everything they have done for me. And tell Elizabeth… to find someone better."

Sebastien bows his head. "Consider it done," he says tonelessly. Ciel gathers that he is annoyed about something.

"And Sebastien… thank you. For everything you have done for me."

His ex-butler looks at him a moment in utter stillness. Then he removes his glove and deliberately crushes the rose in his hand, allowing the bruised petals to fade away into ash. Blood runs down between long white fingers tipped with nails the color of darkness and drips onto the ground. "There is no need… to thank me at all. Everything I have done till now, has been towards gaining an end. Your soul, Ciel." He says this harshly, lips twisting mockingly.

But Ciel refuses to rise to the bait. "You came when I called… gave me what I wanted. If it weren't' for you… I… wouldn't have been able… to hold my head hi-high." His head is lolling on his neck and he feels the first tendrils of unconsciousness seeping into his brain. Things are progressing quicker than he'd hoped. This was nigh well nearing the end.

Instantly Sebastien is at his side, supporting his reeling form. "Steady there. Don't faint on me, now," he instructs coolly as he lays Ciel back against the sturdy surface of the bench. The marble is cold against his back.

Ciel smiles derisively. "Phantomhives…don't faint," he utters through faint gasps for breath. "You should be quick Sebastien."

His butler looks down at him face changing and that is when Ciel finally understands. It is all there for him to see, written plainly across Sebastien's face, unhidden, deliberately so. In a way, he thinks he already knew it, and yet the unveiling makes it infinitely more real. More precious.

"Oh," he utters faintly.

Sebastien smiles his wicked smile as he leans down. "I can at least give you that much, Ciel. This… my final gift." His hand, now ungloved slips under the eye-patch and removes it, fingers gently caressing Ciel's face as he does so. "You… are worthy of being a demon." He breathes on Ciel's face, warming cold skin. Those red eyes are drowning him with their nearness.

Ciel sighs. "Will you forget me, Sebastien?" he murmurs, hands clutching at the superfine material of his butler's jacket.

"Never."

And then his butler's (ex-butler's!) face fills his vision, coming closer and closer and Ciel allows himself to be at peace at last. What he wanted from the beginning, Sebastien has unknowingly given him at the end. Peace, rest, a place to finally set his aching weary burden down and lose himself to a vortex of nothingness. To be free. Finally.

"Good-bye, Ciel."

Ciel's eyes flutter closed, the warmth against his face reminding him of home.

Thank you for-


A/n: The ending is up for guesses. Yep, Sebastien lied to Ciel about everyone forgetting him. And whatever showed up on Seb's face at the end well... it could be a lot of things but I guess Ciel's response gives it away.

This is just to satisfy the dark dark urges of my soul which go RAWR need ANGST need NOW whenever it watches the last episode of Kuroshitsuji season one.