Disclaimer:

This is the first fanfiction I've ever written and since I'm no english native I apologize for any mistakes or whatsoever. I think I didn't do a that bad job, but feel free to critic me anytime. Thanks for reading =)

Unfortunately I do not own Glee (honestly season 4 would not suck as much if I did), the characters or the music. This story is purely fictional

Rating: M for mature (strong language, adult content)

P.o.v.: Santana Lopez

Shippings: Brittana (Santana & Brittany)

Songs: Natasha Bedingfield – Soulmate

Jen Foster - She

Words: 5616


Just another Brittana Story

Prologue

"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with."

― Gillian Anderson


"Wat'cha doin' tonight?" Brittany asked me leaning on her locker, which was next to mine.

"I don't know yet, I gots no plans." I answered mocking her fake ghetto accent.

She shot me a glare, before she continued:"You wanna sleep over, we could watch a movie together, order pizza."

When I didn't answer immediately, she started pleading:" Please San, we haven't had a sleepover in ages. I swear Lord Tubbington started smoking again because of you never being there…" She trailed off. She had a shy smile on her lips and her hands were playing with my hair. Moments like that kept happening to us. Touches that did last longer than usual, glances and stares, our hands and knees brushing each other frequently and seemingly accidental; hugs and cuddles, which did last longer than they should, even for two girls being best friends since kindergarten.

"San?" She asked desperately. Great, I did it again, spacing out when she was near me, I just couldn't concentrate. As I see how her face drops, I'm quick to answer:" Yeah sure, I'd love to. I'll be over round 7, 'kay?"

Her face brightened instantly and she flashed me a big smile. "It'll be awesome, my parents are gone for the weekend and I have just the movie for us."

"Cool" What a fucking lame response, but I wasn't in a mental state to form something not as lame as that.

"Walk me to class?" she asked. "Sure B." And I didn't think it was possible to top my lame response mere seconds ago – how wrong I was. But to my luck, Brittany didn't notice, it must have been my lucky day, because normally Britt could read me like an open book. She linked our pinkies together and dragged me away from my locker.

"You're my best friend San" she whispered in my ear. I hadn't noticed how close she had gotten; the feeling of her breath on my ear was highly distracting.

"You're mine too, Britt-Britt" I managed to answer.

She smiled her sweetest smile at me. My heart started beating faster. God, what the hell was wrong with me?!


The day passed by far too fast and soon it was 7pm and I found myself standing on Brittany's front porch. I was pacing, hesitating to ring the doorbell. I was nervous. Me, Santana fucking Lopez, McKinley's HBIC, was nervous, an emotion I wasn't really familiar with. I just had no idea what to expect, we acted so differently around each other than we used to. I mean I have stayed over at her house before, a lot of times actually; but today it just felt different, not in a necessarily bad way; just different, confusingly different.

Deciding that I couldn't go in like a total nervous wreck, my thoughts swirling around my head, I sat down on her front porch and lit a cigarette, hoping it would calm me down. As the smoke filled my lungs I relaxed a bit, letting the nicotine wipe away all my worries and fears.

I heard the door open behind me, but I didn't move or make any attempt to conceal the fact that I was smoking; I knew it was Brittany; she was the only one home. She sat down next to me, she didn't say anything, she just held out her hand and I passed her my cigarette. I heard her inhale deeply, but I refused to look at her. I felt stupid, of course she had known I was out here, she must have heard my car arrive.

She inhaled a couple more times before she handed it back to me. I finished it in complete silence and stubbed it out between us before I threw the stud on the street; Britt's parents didn't need to find out. They were understanding, but not that understanding.

"San, if you die because of cancer, can I have you car?" she asked innocently in a real serious voice. I smiled; Britt had always been the best at breaking tensions, even if it could be irritating at times.

"Sure, then it's all yours Britt-Britt." I understood why she wanted it; it was a black Mustang Shelby gt-500 with red stripes. I loved that car; my dad had gotten it for me on my 16th birthday, as an excuse for never being home.

"Yes, thanks Sanny. I swear I'm going to take great care of him." I laughed at the childish nickname and at Britt's talent for cheering me up, even by talking about my death. I finally linked our pinkies together, dragging us both up and in her house.


Aladdin – that's the fucking movie Britt chose for us to watch. Fucking Aladdin. Not that that movies wasn't mind-blowing beautiful, but we've seen it like a bazillion times, because it was Britt's favorite movie of all time. She even liked it more than Beauty and the Beast and the Little Mermaid together, which is like a lot. That girl had it bad for freaking Disney movies.

We ordered pizza and then started the movie while we waited for it to be delivered. We snuggled up to each other like old times, my head on her shoulder and her arm snaked around my waist. I felt a tingling sensation when her hand brushed my bare skin, when my shirt hitched up a little. I expected it to be awkward with the way we were acting around each other, but it felt so normal; like we were made to snuggle up to each other for the fucking rest of our lives.

I would never admit it, but I secretly loved that movie too. We had memorized the lyrics to the songs a long time ago and while Britt was singing, I softly hummed the melody, enjoying how my lips vibrated.

"San?!" Britt asked lazily "I know you love this movie as much as I do, admit it!" she was laughing now, she liked teasing me. "Shut up B." I answered, not being able to hide the goofy grin that spread on my lips.

"Oh hell no. Admit it S!" she jumped me. She pushed me back on the couch until I was lying flat on my back, with Britt on top of me pinning my hands down next to my head. "Britt!" I squealed "Get off me!"

"Admit it first!" her laugh was contagious. She pushed my hands harder into the soft leather couch. "Never!" I tried to fight her off, but she was stronger than me.

"Come on San, we both know the truth! You love Aladdin and you love childish Disney movies!" She smiled down at me. I didn't answer, I couldn't. All I could think about was how blue her eyes were and how soft and kissable Britt's lips looked. Her boobs pressing into mine weren't really helping either. I was so captivated by the sight of her; I didn't notice how obvious my staring was.

"San" Britt whispered softly, but slightly out of breath. I didn't sound like a question, more like a plea. If I hadn't been lost before, I certainly was now. She softly lowered her head, until her lips were hovering about mine, only mere millimeters were separating us. I wanted to kiss her so bad, but I was too scared to do it. Luckily Britt made that decision for me. Ever so slowly she dipped her head and connected her lips with mine.

The butterflies exploded, my head was spinning and my heart was beating faster than I ever thought it possible. Nobody had ever kissed me like that, the kiss was so soft, so undemanding, no pressure at all. Finally I returned it, pressing my lips against hers, reveling in the feeling of pure joy and happiness.

"DING-DONG!" The sound brought me back to reality. My eyes snapped open and my body tensed up. What the hell was I doing?

I pushed Brittany up and jumped off the coach; my eyes reflecting horror. This was so fucked up. When I saw the hurt in Britt's eyes, I couldn't take it anymore; I needed to get out of there and clear my heads from these emotions.

"I…I…I" I stuttered "I have to go" I snatched my bag from the floor and raced to the door, not looking at her; I didn't need to, I could feel her eyes burning holes into my back. I ripped the door open, almost falling over the delivery guy, but I didn't care. I didn't even say sorry, my sole focus was on getting out of there, getting away from those treacherous thoughts that were obviously clouding my judgment.


I slammed my books into my locker, earning looks from the students around me, but I didn't fuckin' care. I had been avoiding Brittany since "the incident" at her house, which was like over a week ago. And without Britt to keep me calm and grounded, I was into full bitch mode, everybody tried to stay clear off me; even the teachers. The thing was, me without Brittany, was like a puzzle that was missing a piece, it just wasn't complete. I wasn't complete. I dammin' missed my best fucking friend.

I missed not talking to her, I missed her walking me to class, I missed my lunch buddy, I missed having her around. I simply missed everything about her. There was that fucking saying that went like "you only start to realize you had something special, when you have lost it" or some crap like that. I never thought it of being true, but now I started to see the truth behind it. Fuck, I was turning into a weeping sap.

"Hey Santana…Can we talk?" Damn it, I had been so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice Britt standing next to me.

"No…I have nothing to say to you" I spat, refusing to look at her. She grabbed my hand. "Please San" I finally looked at her; her eyes were just as pleading as her words.

"Fine" I simply said, even when I tried to fight her, I couldn't resist. She was my one and only weakness and I had never been able to say no to those blue orbs of hers.

"San…" her voice trembled "I'm so, so sorry, I shouldn't have done what I did, I don't even know why I did it" she confessed. "Your right, you shouldn't have done it" I answered, my voice softening.

"I'm really sorry…Can we just go back to being best friends?" She asked, the desperateness becoming slightly obvious in her tone. "It's not that easy Britt, but we can try. Just remember, you do what you do; but I don't swing that way. Got it?" I added more serious. She nodded. I smiled a small smile.

"But San…" she hesitated "I know you liked it too, because you kissed me back…" She looked me challenging in the eyes, thinking she had a point; but I had expected that.

"I was lost in the moment, it didn't fucking mean anything, Britt!" I spat harshly, emphasizing on anything. Her face fell and I could see the hurt in her eyes; but at that very second I didn't care.

"I never had, I don't have and I never will have any feeling towards you, that aren't strictly platonic. Get over it"

With that said I turned around and stormed off, not waiting for her reaction. I walked out of the school, not caring about the looks that people gave me, and collapsed crying in my car.


"Mr. Shue, can I sing a song?" Brittany asked the next day in glee club. My head shot up, but as I was sitting in the very back, luckily nobody noticed.

"Sure Brittany, you wanna go now?" he asked her, the confusion was evident in his voice; Britt kinda never sung, she was only dancing around people, singing back-up.

She simply nodded and walked up to the band and whispered something to them, while the rest of us looked at her. They were all curious, she hadn't been her energetic self lately and even I had to admit that it was quite disturbing. And yeah, I was curious too, what did she have in mind? With her you never knew, she was as unpredictable as she was predictable. The music started playing and I focused on Britt.

Incompatible, it don't matter though

'Cause someone's bound to hear my cry

Speak out if you do, you're not easy to find

Her voice was full of emotion, you could clearly hear her pain. I knew now that the song was directed to me and me only.

Is it possible Mr. Lovable is already in my life?

Right in front of me or maybe you're in disguise

She looked at me for a split second, but not long enough for anybody to make the connection between the lyrics and me.

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soul mate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end

How do I find the perfect fit?

There's enough for everyone

But I'm still waiting in line

She wasn't waiting in line, she was waiting for me.

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soul mate for everyone

If there's a soul mate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory

They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soul mate for everyone

She finished the song, leaving all the guys in glee club with watery eyes. It had been so painful to watch her, I understood what she wanted to say. She wasn't desperate for love, she was desperate for me to love her and to show it. And she knew I loved her, she had always known, she could read me like an open book.

Suddenly and without anybody expecting it, Brittany turned round and ran out of glee, leaving the others confused. Without really thinking about what I was actually doing, I took after her. I heard Mr. Shue shout after me, but I didn't care; I just wanted to talk to Britt. I didn't see her, so I checked the nearest bathroom, but she wasn't there. And then it hit me, I knew where Britt was. I continued down the hallway, luckily it was in the middle of class, so the hallways were deserted.

When I walked under the bleachers I could see her, she was sitting on an old couch some guys from the football team had put there some while ago.

"Brittany?" I asked tentatively. Her head shot up, I didn't think she had expected me to come after her. But I had. I saw a mix of confusion, hurt and happiness of her face when I walked towards her.

"Please, just go away San" her voice was barely above a whisper and I deliberately ignored her. When I reached her, I knelt down in front of her, my knees shivering when they touched the cold ground, but I didn't even notice it.

"Britt, please look at me" this time it was me who was pleading. "Britt-Britt" I said slowly "look at me" and she did. Her eyes were puffy and read, dried tears glistening on her cheeks and new ones running freely down her face. My heart stung when I saw how miserable she was and that I was the source of her pain.

"I'm so sorry B. I never meant-" my words were cut off when a pair of soft lips crashed into mine, shutting me up effectively. I was completely taken aback, I had never, not in a thousand years, expected her to do that. But I wasn't freaking out like last time, the butterflies in my stomach erupted and I kissed her back, this time fully aware of what I was doing.

I opened my mouth and slid my tongue along her bottom lip and she instantly granted me access. Our tongues collided and we both let out shaking moans. I pulled back to catch my breath and Britt attacked my neck. She started sucking and licking, which earned her another loud moan from me. I was painfully becoming aware of the heat that started to build up between my legs and I was desperate for friction.

"Britt" I gasped "I need you so much" She must have been waiting for those words, because suddenly she yanked me up and dragged me over the football field and over the parking lot to my waiting car.

Brittana dragged me through my own empty home and into my room, slamming and locking the door behind us, so we could show each other, how much we needed each other.


Brittany took my hand, looked me deep in the eyes and slowly pushed me backwards. I was captivated by her gaze, I couldn't and wouldn't break out of the stare; her blue penetrating eyes were like a door to her soul, I could see all the feelings she had for me in the very blue. Her soft hands were grazing my back, slowly moving up and down. Whenever she touched my bare back I shivered.

The back of my legs hit the edge of my bed and without looking away she slowly pushed me down and lowered me on the bed. Her hands moved next to my head, so she could steady herself; I winced at the loss of contact. Slowly she placed a leg next to my left knee; the other one doing the same on my other side. Soon she was straddling me. Still I couldn't stop staring at her, her flawless face, her delicate features, her cleavage, her everything. I was mesmerized just by the sight of her.

My eyes darted back to hers as she leaned closer, our lips almost touching, but not yet. I started breathing harder, seeing her so up close, her soft lips just inches from mine, made me forget my own name. I just couldn't take it anymore "Britt, I need you; I need you now…" my voice was shaking with anticipation; I couldn't wait any longer, I needed her right now. She was still looking at me, her eyes still boring into mine. I couldn't stand it anymore.

I grabbed her face in my hands and trashed our lips together. The moment our lips connected, I felt relief wash trough my body, soaking up all of my inner turmoil. The kiss started to heat up, my hands were tangled in her long blonde hair, our legs intertwined and our bodies smashed together.

I felt her tongue licking my bottom lip, asking for entrance, which I gladly granted. I parted my lips, her tongue sweeping in instantly. I moaned in her mouth, as our tongues fought for dominance. I pulled her body flush against mine, smiling into the kiss, when I heard her moan. Her hands were roaming my sides, grabbing the hem of my shirt. She pulled away and sat up, pulling her shirt over her head and I quickly followed, wanting her lips back on min. Our mouths found each other again and our tongues returned to their battle instantly. I felt her tucking tucking on my shirt and I lifted my arms. We only parted for a split second, the shirt was gone and tossed somewhere in my dark room.

Her soft, but firm hands roamed freely over my now exposed back, only hesitating to unclasp my bra and sliding it off my shoulders. Bothered about the only battier between our chests, I swiftly unhooked her bra and cupped her breasts in my hands. A loud moan escaped her lips, urging me to go further. As I started kneading the firm flesh, I started kissing her jaw, her cheeks, before I started nipping on the soft spot behind her ear, earning another load moan. I trailed kisses down her neck, licking at her collarbone. I knew she was going to have some hickeys after my "treatment", but I just couldn't get myself to care and besides I liked to mark her as my own.

I covered her chest in kisses, before taking of her nipples in my mouth, biting down teasingly. She started chanting my name, turning to jelly in my arms. I released her nipple and started giving the same treatment to the other one. I then looked her in the eyes; the blue had darkened with lust and in a single movement she flipped us down, so that she was straddling me again. Her hand moved down my body, roaming over my exposed torso and dipped ever lower. She started tucking at the button of my jeans and tore them open. I lifted my hips and she removed the offending garment, leaving me in only my black lace panties.

Her hands glided over my now exposed thighs. Slowly she leaned down and attached her lips to mine in a slow and sensual kiss. It was so sweet, but still it managed to increase the throbbing between my legs. I reached between our bodies and tore at her jeans button until it became undone. Sliding it off her long and toned legs turned out to be difficult, as she was still lying on top of me, but somehow I managed. Our kiss started to heat up once more and I gasped into her mouth as her thigh pressed against my crotch.

She grinned at my reaction and started rocking slightly against me, grinning even more when my back arched upwards and I pressed my hips even more into her. She started to assault my neck and I moaned even more.

"Please…" was the only thing I was able to get out. I needed more, I needed her. Desperately.

"What do you want?" she whispered seductively, sucking my neck. When I only moaned she lifted her head and hovered above me, her lips almost touching mine.

"Say it!" she demanded, making a point by pressing her thigh even more against me. I gasped again, not able to resist her, I slowly opened my eyes and looked in the piercing blue of hers; I trembled, and whispered "I want you to fuck me-" The words barely left my lips when hers crashed into mine, her tongue filling my mouth. She shifted on top of me and a hand started gliding down my body; over my jaw, my neck, down the valley between my breasts, over my stomach and torso; stopping at the waistband of my already soaked panties. She hooked her finger in it and slid it down my legs.

Her hand started stroking my thigh, going higher and higher every time. I gasped when she cupped me, softly pressing her hand into me. Her thumb circled my throbbing clit and I almost came on the spot. "Plea-" I started saying, but her lips cut me off. Her fingers dipped lower and with one swift motion she was inside me of me; my hips arching into her and I moaned loudly into her mouth. She started pumping in and out of me and when she added a third finger I knew I wouldn't last long. She pushed harder and faster, curling her finger, hitting the spot inside of me that ignited the fire inside of me even more. My walls tightened around her fingers and I felt my whole body explode. I moaned her name over and over as I had the yet most amazing orgasm in my entire life.

Brittany kissed me softly, her lips sweet against my own. Her fingers slid out of me and she rolled down of me, but still not breaking the kiss. She pulled the blanket up and around us. I had to admit, I was exhausted, my whole body was feeling like jelly. She pulled away from my lips and looked me in the eyes. The blue was so captivating, I knew I was lost in that moment, I knew that I had fallen in love with her a long time ago. I just had never recognized it, but now there was no way of denying it anymore and I didn't want to.

She turned me around and spooned me from behind. Her arm hugged my waist, her hand resting on my stomach. I felt her lips move against my ear when she whispered

"Good night, San. I love you" I nodded, already half asleep.

I mumbled back "I love you too" and I meant it. The last thing I remember were her soft lips on the back of my neck, kissing me good night sweetly. I dozed off with a smile on my lips.


I woke up when a something graced the back of my neck. Slowly I opened my eyes, a body was pressed up against my back. Brittany. I couldn't help but let out a small giggle; I hadn't felt that alive for a long time. I slowly turned around in Britt's arms.

"Hey" I said. "Hey" she answered and softly kissed my nose. Suddenly she blurted out "Doyouwannabemygirlfriend?" I smirked "What Britt, I can't hear you" She let out a shaky breath "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" she asked, this time with a little more confidence. I smiled "I would love to be your girlfriend." She sighed out in relief and kissed me softly.

"Britt" I pulled away "could we, ehm, I mean, if it's okay with ok, ehm, keep this between us for a while?" I asked carefully, I didn't want it to come out wrong. She looked at me a little confused and I was quick to explain "It's not you, I just, ehm, I haven't figured out yet what this means. I mean us." She nodded slowly, understanding what I meant. For her it was no difference; men, women; the gender didn't matter to her, just the person. For me accepting that I was – gay – would be a long way and I was not there yet. And this was fucking Lima, Ohio. Kurt, the only openly gay kid at McKinley High school, had gotten bullied so badly he transferred schools. I was so not ready for that.

"I will wait for you Santana Lopez, 'til the day you're ready; even if it means I'd wait forever" "Thank you" I mouthed.


The weeks flew past and suddenly it was almost Christmas and Britt and I were still in our secret relationship. We spent a lot of time together, at home, at school, at dates. But we couldn't do what normal couples did. Hold hands in public, kiss in public, all of those things were not possible for us. It bothered me, but I knew it was my fault; but I also felt that it got more to Britt than to me. She didn't like that I still flirted with guys, it was just to keep appearances up, but still she didn't like it. I mean, who could blame her? But I knew what I had to do to keep my title of being HBIC.

But still, I liked it just as much as Britt did. So I decided to make a decision; a decision that would change my life forever, for the better or the worse


"Mr. Shue, why are we in the auditorium?" I heard Puck ask curiously. "Well" Mr. Shue hesitated "Santana asked me, well actually she demanded to sing a song today, threatening to leave glee club if I said no. So Santana is going to sing today." Everybody looked slightly shocked, only Britt was smiling, she had no idea what I had planned, but she trusted me and I think for her it was quite obvious what is was going to be about; but the rest was as clueless as newborn infants.

I cringed when Rachel opened her enormous beak " Why would Satan- I mean Santana, get a free solo, which has nothing do to with the topic of the week, when the rest of us, including my humble self, never do?" "You get enough solos Rachel and Santana said it was personal, she has to do it and I quote: 'I'm going to sue you and this school, because of discrimination, if I'm not allowed to show those poor suckers some real emotions'" Shuester tried to explain. "Satan and emotions? I didn't know she had a heart!" Artie shouted. Ouch, that kinda hurt.

"Hey, that's not fair! She has a bloody heart like the rest of us, only because she doesn't show it all the freaking time like many of you guys, doesn't mean she's not capable of emotions!" Brittany defended me; my princess in shining armor. I hated it when the glee club, where they all pretended to be a happy little family, became all double standard, when it was about me. "Just let her do this, I don't know what she wants to sing, but please just give her a damn fucking chance!" Britt fell back in her chair, the irritation in her voice was clearly evident.

The glee club was stunned silent for a moment, Brittany never raised her voice, or even shouted and she sure as hell wasn't swearing. At least never in front of them. Mr. Shue was the first to get his voice back "Okay…Brittany you're right. Now Santana" he turned to the stage "it's your time to shine" The lights went out.

A single spotlight came on, illuminating only the center of the stage, keeping out everything else. I nodded at the piano guy and the band started playing the song. I was so nervous. I had never exposed myself like that, never felt so vulnerable in my whole life; well maybe to Britt, but that was in the comfort of my own room.

I stepped in the light and starting singing the most heartfelt confession I had ever made.

I have heard it said so many times, "Love is blind"
So why are you staring?
You say thatloveis all we need, well
Does that apply to me?
'Cause I have found someone
That I think is beautiful
And I have fallen in love
And I'm telling you

Even singing the first few sentences I already saw those damn kids staring at me as if they had never seen me before. Was it really so strange that I had fallen in love? But honestly they did not matter to me, all that mattered was Brittany's smile. She looked so proud and happy, I thought I was going to fall to pieces.

She

Means everything to me
She

Makes me feel nothing else matters

Now I sang the song directly at Brittany, not caring about the shocked and confused faces of the others. Only Britt was important.

Not even what the world thinks of me
They told me when I was a little girl, "Love's a pearl -
You're lucky if you find it,
So share that precious beauty with the world,"
Now suddenly they say I've got to hide it
But I have found true love
And there is nothing you can do
Just try and stop me, just try and stop us
Good luck to you, 'cause
She
Means everything to me
She
Makes me feel nothing else matters
Not even what the world thinks of me

I gestured Britt to come up on the stage, she looked startled, but she smilingly made her way to me.

(She...she...she...)

When she got up on the stage, I held out my hand and she took it, lacing our fingers together.

It's simple as can be
I love her, she loves me
This is what everybody dreams of
There's nothing to be afraid of, there's nothing to be afraid of, after all it's
only love
'cause
She
Means everything to me
She
Makes me feel nothing else matters

When the last bit of the lyrics left my lips, I pulled Britt into me and she hugged me with everything she had. She whispered "Thank you" and "I love you" over and over in my ear.

I pulled away and pressed my lips against hers, giving us the happy end we deserved so much. I felt Brittany smile against my lips and I knew that whatever life had in store for me, the love of my life, my soul mate, was always going to be there. Forever.