LITTLE MOMENTS LIKE THESE
CHAPTER 1: THE PAIN WITHIN
CHAPTER SUMMERY: Ursa's been distant lately at the very moment that Buddi needs her most. Will she realize that time alone could not heal these wounds?
TIMEFRAME: A month or so after 'Return to Ursalia' but takes place before 'The Rite Stuff'.
DISCLAIMER: Gummi Bears belongs to Disney. Some of the information on Barbic culture I used is ThickerThanLove's ideas, as well as some characters I may use in future one shorts. I asked permission first (but shelved the idea for a while). I'll try to link you to the notes I used for those parts at the end of each chapter.
Buddi sighed as he wandered the halls aimlessly. Ursa had warned him to stay close to the small section of the city they had quartered in but with the way she's been acting he doubted she would notice that he was gone for a few minutes.
It had been a whole month since the Woods fell, and Buddi wished he had someone to talk too…sure, Sunni had been great the one or two times the Glens had visited but they kept themselves scarce.
"Gruffi said it's to give you guys some space," Sunni said once when they grasped a moment or two out of the little time they saw each other for themselves, "He doesn't think we should intrude."
"It's probably for the best," Buddi replied, thankful that the Glen patriarch knows what going too far was, "It would be hard for you to understand, and Ursa's always been a private person…"
Ursa.
She'd changed after the Woods fell. Buddi supposed that was partly the weight of leadership that she had to take up so suddenly after Averi, his father, died during the last night, and partly because of the grief that night had caused her. She's more hardened now, and all the time she had spent with him before suddenly evaporated into nothingness. She barely even spoke the week it took to get here.
"I wish those stupid humans just stayed away!"
Normally, the youngest Barbic was not so quick to judge others but he was now starting to truly see why his parents was so worried in their last days back home. Dad's gone now, and his Mama had to watch it happen. Ursa's anger and grief had driven her away from him and Buddi wished that he could do something.
Not only that, he missed Averi! Between his parents, he took more after his father than his mother. They shared a love for music and would often play together. Ursa scowled but he knew she didn't really mind, although she couldn't really understand it either. Now, that was gone….
Finding himself back in front of his room, the young Barbic stormed in and slammed the door behind him, not really caring if Ursa came to lecture him about his lack of control at the moment. Heck, he'd take that over the cold and distant person she's been the last month or so. Throwing himself on the bed he desperately tried to hold back sobs.
"Ursa, I think you should go check on Buddi right now," Gritty said firmly, having had cornered her at last.
The Barbic leader blinked, "Gritty, Buddi's never been overly independent on me or…you know. He can handle himself."
"Are you even listening to yourself right now?" Gritty shook his head in disbelief, "Ursa, he's just a kid. Do you really think you're on your own through all this?"
"Of course I don't," Ursa began, but was cut off.
"No, you DO think so," Gritty's tone raised an octave, "Listen, I know what you've been going through this past month. Averi was my friend – as nearly as close to me as you are. Barbic Woods was my home too. And I know you're not used to leading on your own," He placed a firm hand on Ursa's shoulder, "but I need you to listen to me right now. If you keep on going on the way you are right now, then that cub ain't gonna make it as sure as the suns gonna raise tomorrow. If you won't be there for him now, then no one is."
Ursa shook her shoulder free, growling, but her best friend wasn't finished with her yet.
"Go. Go and confirm it to yourself if you're so certain."
And with that he was gone, leaving his leader in stunned silence.
Buddi didn't know how long he laid there fight back tears. He eventually lost that battle and cried softly, wishing for someone to take the pain, uncertainty and the not knowing how to express it all away. He was so preoccupied in his own emotions that he didn't hear his door creak open.
Ursa's heart sank like a stone when her only child's cries reached her ears. She thought she came to her senses after she got him back from Igthorn, but now it was like a second awakening. Her baby was hurting, and confused, and he probably didn't even know how to approach her with the way she's been acting lately. For a moment, she stood there, frozen, not knowing what to do. And then, on instinct, she crossed the floor and lay down next to Buddi, pulling him close like she used to do when he was three or four, perhaps.
Buddi's vision was too blurred to see her, but he recognized her scent. He huddled closer to his mother, closer to her safety and warmth – and cried more when remembering that Daddy can't join them now…
A sudden lump appeared in Ursa's throat as she ran her fingers through her son's hair – so much like his father's – and for the first time since she called retreat, accepted that she couldn't do more; she did not fight it and let the tears come. She finally lost her battle with the storm within. As much as she didn't want Buddi to see her this way, she realized now that he needed to see it. He needed to know he wasn't alone.
Ursa was sorry that she lost sight of what was truly important to her now. Buddi was all the blood family she had left now, and it scared her that she nearly lost him through her own actions….again …. But unlike when they rescued him from Igthorn, this wasn't a physical enemy they could fight.
Eventually, mother and son would drift off into a restless sleep aided by a broken heart. Morning would come, and they would spend the day sorting out their emotions, and they would eventually learn to bear this pain. But for now, they were united in their grief as one.
A/N: Well I just nearly made myself cry writing this…the next chapter won't be so…angsty. I promise.
