Disclaimer: Suffice it to say, Victorious wouldn't be on Nickelodeon if it were mine. So, no, I do not own it. Unless Dan Schneider wants to cross over to the NC-17 border, then, I would gladly help...


Butterflies


Jade was an actress. She was a director, a producer, an entertainer. Her life was a play and she was the lead. Items were props, people were characters. Everyone fit a role predetermined by Jade; she produced the show, directed it, then acted in it. It was simple - at least, to her - and it was easier to look at life through performing goggles than to fully acknowledge what was going on as something unbearably real. Jade was not very keen on emotions and feelings, you see. Sometimes, cuts had to be made, changes were imminent and the plot-line ever evolving.

So when, in a sudden change of events, her two-year relationship with Beck had dissolved a couple of months ago, there was no going over to Tori's house, crying her eyes out and begging her to get her back together with him. There were no tears on her part, nor Beck's, because they both knew the story had changed, and there was no way to untangle this unexpected (yet almost expected) plot-twist. A long, quiet talk, tinged with melancholy and small smiles full of nostalgia, a tight hug later and they were off.

'Don't ever go away.'

'I won't.'

'I'll always be here, too.'

'You better.'

Beck and Jade was no more. Just Jade, just Beck. Still very close friends, nonetheless, but no more and no less. Jade could say she should have been sadder at that new development - or, rather, dissolution -, but she actually cared enough about Beck to admit that they weren't working like they used to. And she actually cared enough about herself to know that she wasn't as happy as she had once been. She used to feel butterflies for Beck. Whenever she used to hang out at Beck's RV, sneaking away from her house late at night (not that her father ever noticed or cared), whenever they'd spend a Friday night watching movies, discussing music or just making out. The butterflies were there. But then, the little fluttering butterflies became ill and disease-ridden. The cheerful fluttering became slow and weaker with each passing day. Until, one by one, they all crashed and died. The effort to revive them had been made, Jade liked butterflies, but once she saw Beck's butterflies die, too, Jade knew the time to make decisions was nigh.

On her part, everything was quiet as she maintained a healthy distance. She rarely spoke, even less than before, and when she did, she lacked the usual cynical and sarcastic attitude that always accompanied her remarks. Beck had kept to himself just as much; demeanor calm, cool and collected as always, if only a bit dimmed. Thankfully, everyone in their group of friends had been respectful enough to not bring up the topic, feeling the almost palpable tension, though they talked amongst themselves and wondered.

'Why is Beck over there and Jade over there?'

'Why aren't they holding hands?'

'Why is Jade sitting so far away?'

After a couple of weeks, everything was seemingly normal again. People were less cautious around them, their eyes not quite as full of pity, and Jade, after overcoming the initial bouts of regret, was back to sitting at their table, that feeling of slight awkwardness gone. There was no going back this time, and she was fine with that. It felt like a breath of fresh air, one badly needed, before moving forward once more. She was ready to laugh again, to take verbal jabs at anyone and everyone, to make fun of Tori and annoy her (her reactions made it just oh-so worth it and fun). The show must go on, after all.

Now, with things completely back to normal, Jade could get her show in motion again. She had yet to figure out how her character would adapt to the new twists and turns on her story, but she worried very little about that. That was her specialty. She was an actress. She was Jade West.

However, no matter how sure she was about her ability to move on, it did bring forth an interesting issue. With Beck gone, who was going to take his place? Beck's role was probably one of the most significant in the play, and now it was empty. Lead characters needed their supporting characters, no matter what. Jade had lost hers and found herself lacking an understudy for Beck.

And now, quite some time after her break-up, this was Jade's biggest inquiry.


Jade set the tray on the group's usual table, took her usual spot and looked down at her food with the usual disdain, a nasty scowl marring her features. For some reason, school wasn't feeling quite as interesting as it usually did. Her burrito, sitting by its lonesome on her tray, was looking specially unappealing. A finger poked at the soft package of corn tortilla deliciousness, apparently hoping for something to happen. Nothing happened. The frustrated groan threatening to spill from her was getting harder and harder to hold back, a nagging voice mumbling nonsensical things inside her head.

Role. Understudy. The show must go on.

"What's got her undies on a bunch?" Tori asked the other people at the table as she settled down, motioning with her head over to where Jade was sitting. The very familiar voice snapped her from her musings, almost making Jade smile. Almost. Tori was always a good distraction, she had to admit. Her head turned towards the Vega girl, expression completely neutral even as she spoke.

"Your face."

"Well," Tori scoffed indignantly, leaning over the table and closer to Jade, eyes narrowing, "at least my face doesn't look like I ate something sour! You... you sourpuss! Hmph."

This time, Jade didn't really fight the satisfied smirk that curled her lips, watching Tori proceed to give her the cold shoulder, turning away from her and engaging in a lighthearted conversation with Andre, Robbie and Beck, Rex talking and flailing animatedly as he joined in on the conversation. Grabbing the burrito from the tray, Jade took a bite of it, reveling on her victory. It was short-lived, however, because her mind started taking a turn towards places she didn't want it to turn to, again. It effectively dampened her mood once more, though no one really noticed, their cheerful talking going full-swing. Jade was just being Jade. She idly wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing, the fact that her uncertainty could be put off as her just being grumpy as usual and not because she wasn't actually feeling a lot like herself lately. Well, she did, but there was something else. Or, rather, there was something missing.

Understudy.

Jade buried her face in her hands and groaned this time. Yes, Jade could admit the fact that, regardless of her cold and mean demeanor, she was simply not used to being alone. Well, she was used to it, but she didn't want to be alone anymore. Her father all but abandoned her, which was the reason as to why she used to be so clingy around Beck. She appreciated her privacy, sometimes, but she preferred having company, or, at the very least, feeling someone present. Just there. With her.

Once more, something pulled her out of her reverie, this time a little poke on her side. Jade turned to Cat, who, now that she thought about it, had been particularly quiet. The girl brushed her bright red hair away from her face and smiled mischievously at Jade, taking out a small pink notebook and a pink pen from her bag. Jade simply cocked an eyebrow at Cat as she started scribbling down something, curious as to what it was.

Strangely enough, Cat had been Jade's number one source of support since her break-up with Beck. Their relationship had always been odd, always about what lay beneath the surface. Within school, they seemed no more than two people who simply had friends in common when, in reality, Cat was Jade's closest friend. Even closer than Beck. Her best friend, even. And, even though, Jade was less than a stellar best friend, she actually tried for Cat. Any comments directed at Cat would lack the edge that would normally cut others, her voice teasing rather than hurtful. Jade was almost gentle with Cat. She always wondered why, though, why she could tolerate Cat when she'd probably hate any other Cat-like person with a burning passion. Maybe it was because Cat was Cat. Jade didn't know, but she was strangely satisfied with that theory.

To: Cat

Beck and I broke up. For real this time.

Jade had waited for a reply to her text message back then and never got it. Fifteen minutes later, however, her doorbell was ringing, and Jade opened the door only to be greeted by the sight of Cat standing there in pink pyjamas, little arms trying to carry all sorts of candy (she had noted the coffee caramel candy, something Cat brought possibly just because Jade enjoyed them), and some Disney movies (Jade hated them). At that moment, Jade was, for the first time, completely grateful to have a friend like Cat. No, to have Cat as her friend. Because, even though, she'd never admit it, it was nice having someone who could make her see the lighter side of life, and pull her away from her own, sometimes self-imposed, darkness.

The noise of paper being torn made Jade turn to Cat once more, and she looked curiously at Cat's hands as they folded the already small paper into a tiny square. The mysterious tiny square of paper was then slid over to Jade's hand, where it was resting on the table, the small smile on Cat's lips twitching with barely contained excitement.

Jade picked up the small square and proceeded to unfold it, face looking as unreadable as ever. Once unfolded, she could finally see Cat's round and impossibly girly cursive.

My hair is red.

Your hair is blue.

This food is icky,

let's go to the zoo.

The short poem was then followed by a smiley face, a heart and a funny-looking doodle of a giraffe. Or, maybe it was a hippo, Jade couldn't really tell. Nonetheless, she was trying very hard not to smile at Cat's small gesture. Deep down, she was also happy that Cat did notice something was wrong with her, and that she knew her enough to know that Jade wasn't feeling up to school right about now.

Fishing a pen from her pocket, Jade wrote down on the pink paper. Movies. Zoo this weekend. And passed the note just as Cat had done, watching the expressions shift on her pretty face. Excitement. Disappointment. Suspicion.

Before Cat looked at her and mouthed, "Promise?", to which Jade replied with a nod. Then, her face was full of excitement again.

"Hey, what's that on your hand, Cat?" Tori, being curious as always, leaned over Cat's shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of the little pink note. Before she could do that, Jade rose stood up abruptly, grabbing Cat's wrist and pulling her along towards the parking lot.

"Well, they say the hardest part of business is minding your own!" Jade quipped in that ridiculously high and mocking voice she liked to tease Tori with.

"I don't talk like that! Do I really, really talk like that?"

Jade waved at the exasperated Tori, not even bothering to look back, and pulled a giggling Cat, who was waving much more animatedly at their friends, with her.

Cat finally matched her pace as they neared Jade's black truck, giggling and jabbing a finger at Jade's belly, something she was steadily getting used to. "That was mean, Jade," she reprimanded, managing to sound almost serious if it weren't for the cheeky grin threatening to split her face in two.

"Yeah, I know." Jade winked at her, chuckling when Cat simply shook her head and giggled, turning to look at Jade, eyes almost sparkling with joy. And there it was.

Click.

Something made Jade stop walking altogether, the small smile that had previously adorned her face now gone, only to be replaced with a look of surprise. The metaphorical cogs in her head turned restlessly, and, like the tumbles in a lock, everything suddenly snapped into place. The hand that had been holding Cat's wrist before fell limply to her side as realization struck, keeping her grounded in place. A small, warm hand reached out for her hand, fingers lacing with hers, and Cat leaned in close to Jade, looking worried at her friend's odd behaviour.

"Jade? Are you okay?" Cat's earnest eyes allowed her to break free from the slight shock brought forth by her recent revelation. Jade released the breath she didn't know she was holding and gave a slow nod, finally coming to her senses.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm okay," she replied, wondering if she sounded as out of breath as she felt right now. Unsure chocolate brown eyes stared deep into hers, looking for any sign that she should take Jade to the school nurse instead. Jade smiled somewhat reassuringly, as best as she could, at Cat and the redhead seemed to be satisfied with that, for now. With a small smile and, "Well, don't just stand there!", Cat was pulling her now towards the truck. And everything was okay again.

Jade pressed a hand to her belly, however, and tried to suppress the fluttering of a lone butterfly within it. The mumbling voice that had previously been bothering her spoke once more, this time loud and clear, as if it wasn't quite as shocked as Jade had been.

Auditions start as soon as possible.


Author's Note: I've always wanted to write one of these notes.

Now, I hope that didn't feel as stiff and awkward as it did to me. (That's what she said)

This was actually supposed to be a fluffy one-shot, but it mutated and turned into something completely different (with the semblance of a plot) right before my eyes. So, I'm going with it. It won't be horribly long, though. And I feel like I should warn y'all that it'll have no angst and little-to-no drama, as I'm not an angsty type of person and there's enough angst here to last us for a while. I'm still trying to get comfortable with 'publishing' my work, plus having people read and review it, and getting comfortable with the characters/show, since it's still quite new to me. Also, I'd like to point out that English isn't my first language, so beware of the evil Engrish (any mistakes, feel free to point them out!).

Okay, so, hopefully, it wasn't very OOC, or just weird. And, that my Engrish wasn't being mean. And, hopefully, it was somewhat enjoyable, at least.

If not, you're welcome to stone me, or something.

Better yet, you could throw stones in the form of reviews at me. Yeah, that sounds good. Now throw those review-stones at me.

I've been a bad girl.

Oh! Before I forget, I'd also like to give a shout-out to ~DemonDreaming, ~AmberPire and ~lovelyMESS. Amazing writers and, really, the reason I was so inspired to write about this pairing. :D Iloveyou.