It's weird. We go through lives gaining and at the same time losing relationships. I was told once by my father to never latch on too tightly to people because you never know when they could or would walk out of your life. And as I stand over his bed, watching the love of my life so lifeless and helpless, I wonder if he was right. I was always told that emotions were for the weak and that they got in the way of what was really important. My father said it was thinking like that, that made him the rich and successful man he was today. He made friends and he lost friends. But never for a second did he ever truly care for them. They were simply people he allowed to live in his world and when they were of no more use for him he cast them aside. He did the same thing with my mother. She loved him dearly and he used her love to his advantage. He bullied and mistreated her to the point of where the only joys she had in the world were me and my younger sister. So it wasn't a big deal to my dad when she died giving birth to Hanabi. Except for the fact that he now was left with two daughters that he couldn't push on her anymore.

I learned the cruelty of my father at a very young age. The way he seemed enraged just by laying eyes on me. He called me and my sister useless often and no matter what we did it was never good enough for him. We were weak. Emotional. We were beneath. He said we inherited that from our mother he said. Any confidence I ever had was sucked away with just once glance into his almost soulless eyes. I carried that attitude into school and basically everywhere I went. I spoke less. Didn't want people to think I was stupid. I dressed in ways that my body couldn't be shown. Didn't want people to think I was ugly. And I made know friends. I didn't want people to reject me.

I kept to myself because I was the only person who would accept me. I was the only person who cared about me. I was the only person who would ever love me. But I fell in love. I fell in love with a loud mouth, poor, social reject. I fell in love with a hot tempered, friendless, not so bright guy. His attitude did wonders for me. His stupid bravery was inspiration to me. His strength to carry on while having no loved ones was the lift I needed to get through my life. At first I fell in love with his endless will to carry on through life. But eventually I fell in love with the man himself. I used to wonder if my mother was watching over me from above. Eventually I figured she must have sent him to keep me safe.

But I didn't do my part. I was so lost in my life that I somehow forgot to make sure his was great. I made a mistake and slipped up. Somewhere along the road the confidence that he had given me was lost and because of my blunder he and I was paying for it. I was wrong. Will is not endless. We all just have different breaking points. But I'm waiting for him to come back to me. I NEED him to come back to me. On my name as Hinata Hyuga I'll wait forever for him. I want to apologize for being unaware. I want to show him how much I love him. I was just unaware of The Signs.

I've been told that I'm a bitch, that I'm a slut, that I'm nothing and so on and so on. Those insults hurt but I never let them break me. I never let anyone know that they could hurt me. But when she called me a User I felt like complete shit. She told me I used him for my own personal gain. To feel better about myself and to fill the void that Sasuke left with me. I had been through so much shit that I wasn't even sure if that was the truth or not. What I do know is that if I could redo this year I would in an instant. To redo all the crap I put him through. To tell him how I really feel about him. I need redemption. I need him.

My life I've been warned about karma. That if I was to keep stepping on people and bullying them that karma would surely come back to bite me in the ass. Of course I didn't believe in anything like that. I always believed that you go make your own destiny. But while I sit at his side begging for him to pop up from the bed and say "Just joking!"…I wonder if I was wrong. What if karma really does exist? What if this was karma's way of getting back at me for all the wrong things I've done to people in my life. Well if it is…I fucking hate it. No, what I'm doing is just trying to ditch my responsibilities like I've done all my life. It was my responsibility to take care of him the same way he tried to take care of me and I didn't. All my life I've treated serious things like a joke because I didn't really care about the consequences. So it fucking figures that the one time the consequences actually matter to me they come at the cost of his life.

I was treated like a princess as a kid and treated like a whore as a teenager. But he always treated me the same. He treated as a human being. He didn't spoil me, he didn't put me down, and he never let other people talk bad about me. He was my protector of sorts. But I let my jealousy ruin that. I let my jealousy ruin things between us and I feel like such an idiot for it because right now!...Right now I just want to see his smile. He put on a façade when he was around Hinata and I. That he was unbreakable and nothing could ever bring him down. And at the beginning I think that was true. When you're all alone it's hard to get any lower. But if that same alone person was given two things to live for…only for one to be taken away and the other one to leave…well then that person has a new, deeper low to fall to. I learned the hard way that even my Superman had a kryptonite.

But as I get up to leave your side. As I wipe away the last of my tears and give your hand a gentle squeeze. As I kiss your temple and take one last look at your blank face I wait for you to recover. I wait for you to wrap your arms around me one last time and tell me that you love me so that I can tell you the same. I'm waiting for you because I'm not sure how much longer I can carry on without you. Do you hear that Naruto Uzumaki? Do you hear my pleas and cries?! Ino Uzumaki is waiting for you to come back! Please…Please come back baby…

My whole life hasn't been what I would call the greatest. But I guess I wouldn't call it the worse. Unlike other people I don't like to tell others about my life because I hate pity. The look of pity in someone's eyes lights a fire in my stomach. The feeling of someone looking down on you is infuriating. Because I've never wanted someone's sympathy. I don't need it is more to the point. Ha! How ironic is that? Considering if I had someone giving me that pity I seem to hate so much I wouldn't be laying here with these handful of pills.

My life has been a lonely one and it didn't take long for me to get used to it. No parents. I was told they died in some accident just a day or two after I was born. I wonder is that's where these birthmarks came from? I was put into the care of my Godfather. To be honest I think it would have been better to have just given me to an orphanage. He wasn't ready to take care of me. Neither was my godmother. They were still working on their relationship when I was basically forced upon them. So it shouldn't really be a surprised they didn't do the best job raising me. One was a drunk and the other a giant pervert so you tell me if that makes for the best care takers. But I still love the hell out of them. I left specifically in my note that this was my decision and that it was nobody's fault but my own. They had their own lives to think about and really, what adult could really figure out the teenage mind? They couldn't have predicted this even if they tried.

I was given two angels and I fucked up everything. Yeah it took some time to bring them around but I managed to do it. I'm not really sure if they ever loved me but god knows I loved them. I loved them more than anything in the world! But I couldn't keep them happy. I didn't do enough like I should have and I ended up pushing them away when I needed them the most. Some friend I turned out to be. I sometimes wonder if those two coming into my life was a sign from god. And if it was a sign what was it a sign to do? Was it a sign that he was looking out for me and this was his way of rewarding me through the shit life I had to deal with? Or was everything supposed to end like this and this was his way of giving me the most enjoyment I ever had in life before things ended? I don't know whether to thank him or call him cruel.

I wonder how much they'll miss me. Of course a selfish part of me wants them to miss me. Everyone wants to be missed when they pass after all. But I actually hope they don't miss me a lot. I don't want to cause any more pain than I already have. I believe I was put in this world to help, not hurt. If I'm not helping people then what am I good for? This is what brings us to this current situation. I did what needed to be done for those two. I helped them as best as I could with their problems and they helped me the best they could with mine also. But we've just come to the point where things can't go back to normal. I can't forget everything the three of us have been through and I can't deal with the pain of having them out of my life anymore. I'd rather die with the memories of the good times still fresh to me than live to see those memories die. Or maybe I'm just rationalizing being a coward and once again running away from my problems. Honestly I don't even know any more. I don't know what the truth is any more and I don't care any longer. I just know that I'm tired and I want to sleep. I just want to sleep. Say before I do this I pray. I pray for Hinata to stand up to her father. I pray for Ino to have the strength to will her away through the harsh words thrown at her. I pray that they have successful lives because god knows they deserve it. Now to sleep. No more struggles. No more anger. No more pain.

To my surprise a lot of people wanted me to continue the story 'The Signs'. I still get people who favorite the story or I'll get a review here and there. And I find it funny because I got to be honest I hate the story. I wrote it when I was in a really dark place my freshmen year if High School and not only that but I don't think I was a great writer than. Hell, I really don't think I'm great now. But I'm a lot better now lol. But after reading great stories on here I thought what the hell, maybe I could retry this and make it like ten times better. It's nice to try and write a serious story besides the sill smut 'Somewhere I Belong' on here even though I do find it entertaining and fun. Well this is what I was able to come up with so tell me what you think, remember to review! I can only get better if you guys on here help me ^_^ feedback and very needed! I hope you enjoyed this! Until next time, RCS out!