"A Matter of Life and Death"

Disclaimer: So, we all remember Jacob William Tamm, right? Then we all know that he's my creation. However, Kaylee and Mal and Simon and Jayne and the rest of the Serenity crew are not my creations.
They're the property of Joss Whedon, the writer. Joss is Boss. Don't deny it, you know it's true.


"Jacob William Tamm, what is the meaning of this?!" Kaylee's voice rang throughout Serenity, alerting all the crew to the immanent spat.

"Uh… hey, mom," the teenaged boy smiled sheepishly at his mother as he stepped into the engine room, "What's up?"

"Hydrospanners in the same box as the sonic screwdrivers?" she held up the tool boxes and raised an eyebrow, "I thought I'd raised you better than that, young man."

"I was in a hurry," he scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Dad needed his laser saw fixed and I was hurrying. Remember how Cap'n came back with that shot to the liver? The saw wasn't working; I had to patch it before Mal died. I'm sorry you're so OCD about your tools."

"I guess since it was a matter of life and death," Kaylee sighed and touched her fingers to her forehead, closing her eyes for a moment, "You're allowed three hours off-ship next time we're on Persephone. That's it. You're not spending the night at Isaac's again, and you're definitely not running around with that Cordelia girl. Understood?"

"Mom, that is sooooo unfair," Jacob shot back, "I saved the Captain's life and you're grounding me?!"

"Yes I am," she said with a snarky grin, "You wanna know why?"

"Oh yes, do enlighten us, dearest mother," Jacob glared at her with such power that only a seventeen year old boy could muster.

"Because I'm your mom," she replied loftily, "So, there."

"Hey, Little Man," Jayne paused by the door, a childish grin on his face, "You wanna learn a hundred ways to kill a man using two spoons and a rubber band?"

"I'll see ya later, mom," Jacob gave her a quick hug and happily trotted after the hulking muscle-man.

"Jayne, he's just a boy!" Kaylee yelled after the pair jokingly, fully aware that neither of them cared what she had to say on the subject anyway. "Gets more and more like his father every day…"