Author: Golden Feathers Edward

Warnings: none I guess but it's your point of so there

Declaimer: Naruto is not mine so go screw your self for all I care!

Metal Health Service Answer Phone

He felt like dirt and the villagers knew it so they took advantage of it by calling him names, throwing things at him like food, rocks, and even weapons. Naruto was only a ten-year-old boy, why can't they see that? Ever since he could remember his self-esteem was dropping and there were things that he was scared to think about so he decided he needed help. So he picked up his battered phone and dialed the number for a Metal Health Institute. He waited for someone to pick up and after three rings he got something.

/Hello and welcome to the metal health hotline/

It was a chirpy female voice on the other line, which disturbed him greatly but ignored it for the needed help he had to have.

/If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly/

/If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you/

/If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6/

/If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call/

/If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship/

/If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press/

/If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press – no one will answer/

/If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969/

/If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line/

/If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and mother's maiden name/

/If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000/

/If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep/

/If you have sort-memory loss, press 9/

/If you have sort-memory loss, press 9/

/If you have sort-memory loss, press 9/

/If you have sort-memory loss, press 9/

/If you have sort-memory loss, press 9/

/If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you/

The young boy hung up the phone meekly and stared blankly at the communicate device. After fifteen minutes he realized what he did and got angry for the first time in months. But his rage didn't last for long because of a thought that entered his mind.

'You know some of that stuff reminded me of people I know,' he thought to himself.

Silence once again took its place in the small apartment then the small boy sweat dropped at his stupidity.

End.

AN: how was it? Hope not too bad. Review if you want just had to get this out.