Title: Doubt
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the settings, characters (or basically anything- I just wrote it.)
Characters/Pairings: Jace/Clary
Rating: T/M
Genre: Romance
Summary: Clary lets her self-awareness & body hang-ups get to her (ignore crappy summary) Post- COG, CONTAINS SPOILERS! Jace&Clary Fluffiness
Alicante the name brought a smile to her face. The gleaming glass towers in shades of green and gold and Lake Lyn contrasting in varieties of blues and blacks. But towering over the scenery like an angel, painted with flecks of gold and yellow, rune marks covering his body- adding to his infinite beauty was a certain shadowhunter, Jace. The hollows of his cheekbones and the golden glow in his eyes captured forever with his fair skin and golden hair. She let her smile linger on her face, as she put her sketchbook down and brought her knees up to her chest. She repositioned her self on the windowsill to look out over at the lower side of Brooklyn from the greenhouse, where she sat above the Institute. The sky, she thought- a wash of watercolours with splashes of dusty pinks and pale purples on a bright blue canvas as the sun began to set.
She laid her head softly against the cool glass, and looked to her left. A display of assorted herbs and flowers, some wilted and some thrived in the weak autumn sun, never mind the lack of attention. Soon she closed her eyes and willed it all to go away, fed up of her fears. It had been hours, days, weeks, since they were back, since they'd known and embraced it. Yet she missed the way she would get lost in his eyes, the sarcastic remarks and the lingering fingers. The secret glances they stole. Her rough kisses and his torn jacket. Though she wasn't waiting for him. She was waiting for herself. Waiting to get over it, over her fears. She knew he would never hurt her and he would never lay an unnecessary finger on her, but she was afraid. Not afraid of him, afraid of her own body, of what he would think of her- of his reaction when he saw her completely. But she knew she couldn't stay away from him for much longer.
She couldn't bear to hurt him any longer, it had been two weeks since Valentine's funeral and the celebration, two long weeks since they had touched, kissed, and talked about their emotions deeply. She had to tell him, to let him kiss her again, to let him touch her again and tell him why- why she was avoiding him. With her new promise in mind she fell asleep, her body contorted against the window.
****
He waited impatiently for the elevator doors to open, hearing the deafening screech as they did. His eyes flicked over the area, then at the clock. The sun had only just set, replacing the bright morning sky with a dull twilight blue- still waiting for the moon to rise and glow like witch light. Even though it was still early, the Brooklyn institute was almost deserted apart from Church, who purred softly as Jace bent down to stroke his blue/black fur.
"Hey church, how's life treating you lately? Met any Girl-Cats recently?" Jace let out a wicked grin, before feeling his features soften, asking yet another question, "Where's Clary?" Church blinked at Jace and turned. He walked softly past the grey stonewalls, the messy coffee table, and the various bedrooms. He walked through the library, past the weapons room, and then slowly led him up the narrow spiralling stairs. Jace walked into the greenhouse and saw a small feminine figure pushed up against a window, her radiant skin at perfect harmony with her hair- a soft arrangement of red curls. Jace felt his heart begin to flutter inside his rib cage, and bent his arms to lift her to him, cradling her to him as if she weighed less than a sack of flour.
He walked through the various flowers and plants, and back down stairs, along the corridor and into his room, where he set her softly on his bed and drew the covers on her. He pressed a small kiss to her lips and saw her eyes flutter. He saw her emerald eyes turn from tired to lusting as he saw her throw the covers off and felt her fist her hands in his shirt, pulling him down to her lips. Jace kissed back breathlessly, for the first time in weeks. He felt himself reluctantly pull back and cup her face,
"Clary, I-" he began but saw her eyes fill up with moisture, his face changed to a mask of horror and concern,
"Clary- what's wrong- are you hurt?" He took her hand gently, and sat down next to her and took her into his arms once more like a broken doll,
"Jace- I- I'm so sorry, for everything" she croaked. He stopped stroking her hair, and placed his fingers under her chin, and looked into her deep green eyes,
"You have nothing to be sorry for" he said breathlessly, but she broke eye contact and spoke again softly,
"Jace, you're not stupid, so don't act it. I've been avoiding you, and I- I-" She faltered and he felt her shoulders shake, while Jace sat completely still, his face a mask of confusion and hurt, fearing the worst.
"I'm- I the truth is, I'm afraid" she looked up, and into his eyes, the hurt gone but the confusion remained. She let out a shaky breath as he traced the outline of her face with his lips,
"I would never hurt you" he spoke softly, still not quite understanding. Placing a hand on her lower back and another behind her neck, he kissed her passionately and felt her kiss back slowly. He then felt her hands running through his hair softly. She reluctantly pulled away, her arms still around him,
"I know- I- I'm afraid of…Y- you - What if you won't want me anymore if you see me" She leaned into him and hid her face in his chest, not wanting to see his reaction. After a few moments she felt him stroke her hair gently, and hear him speak into her ear breathlessly,
"Oh Clary- you stupid, stupid girl. I love you, I'm in love with you, and I always will be. It isn't something I could just turn on and off with a press of a button, whatever I do, whatever you do- what ever we do together won't change the fact that I love you, It doesn't matter what your wearing, or what your not wearing I will always love you- I've been with pretty girls before but what I have with you goes beyond beauty but I assure you, there's no one as beautiful, as you. I've dreamed of doing things to you that I've never dreamt off doing to any girl before" her breath hitched again and he pressed her closer to him, bending down before carrying on, "Clary, I love you" before she had a chance to reply, Jace pushed her gently on the bed, and kissed her once more, exploring her mouth in ways he had never done before.
He felt her fingers travel along his back hooking onto the waistband of his jeans, and felt her smile against his lips. She felt him remove her t-shirt and grin. She felt the colour rush to her cheeks, as she felt him slowly kiss down her chest, and finally feel him stop at her navel, only to move to up to her neck and bite her softly along her collar. Jace pulled away and took his shirt off, letting her hands roam over his lean muscles as he started to kiss her again,
"I love you too," she whispered.
Sooo...What'dya think? =]
Read+Review, I Welcome constructive criticism
And no bitchiness! (Not sure if you're aloud to swear on this site
-but I'm going to anyways, haha)
xxx
